Angel
by EreshkigalGirl
Summary: The crew is informed about the Academy's newest science project, RT215042518, River's daughter. Upon her rescue, River has to learn how to be a mother.
1. Chapter 1

The dining hall in _Serenity_ was decked with the lights from Kaylee's bunk and fake holly for the up-coming holiday season. Inara, River, and Kaylee had alternately begged, threatened, and bribed the Captain to be allowed to put them up. Mal shook his head as he walked on through after finishing his nightly ritual of checking on his ship, and went to bed.

The ship was quiet except for the continuous hum of the engine's life support systems and the rhythmic beeping of an incoming WAVE. It had obviously come in after River had already put _Serenity_ to sleep and had headed down to her bunk. Mal's first thought was to let the caller leave a message and deal with it in the morning. But a second thought pushed him up to the bridge and let through the connection. The face on the screen was one that the Captain had never wanted to see again, and had, in fact, threatened to shoot the next time he saw.

"Gwai-gwai long duh dong!"

"I'm very sorry for disturbing you, Captain Reynolds," the government Operative apologized, "but I must speak with you. In fact, I would suggest you bring your entire crew in on this, especially River Tam. It's a matter of significance to her."

"Just what the hell is this about?" Mal demanded. "Thought you said you weren't the Parliament's man anymore."

"I'm not. As a matter of fact," the Operative took a breath and refocused on the Captain, "I've become a contact of the underground movement which helped Dr. Tam break his sister out of the Academy in the first place. And, please, I would rather only have to say this once."

Mal bit the inside of his cheek as his stomach churned. He just knew this was going to be something bad. Oh, it was surely something important, or the man would never have contacted him, but sure as the raining fires of hell, it was going to put his crew smack in harms way again.

"Wuh tzai chien shr ee-ding ruh dao shuh-muh run luh bah?" Mal muttered as he reached up and yanked the com down from its hook on the ceiling. "Sorry to wake you folks up, but I need everyone on the bridge."

The crew slowly trickled up the stairs. Zoë and Jayne first, then Inara floated in tying her robe around her, then River in her white nightgown, and finally Kaylee and Simon both looking very put out and disheveled. Zoë stood at attention at Mal's right, staring emotionlessly at the screen. Jayne stood in back with his arms crossed, although Mal had a feeling the man wanted to go get a weapon to shoot the image of the man since he couldn't reach the Operative himself. Inara had walked to Mal's side as soon as she'd come onto the bridge, but backed a few steps away when she saw who the WAVE was from. Simon put his arm around Kaylee, and his free hand in River's as she hovered by his side.

"Alright," Mal announced from his seat in the pilot's chair, "now that we're all here, what do you want?"

The Operative cleared is throat and made a gentlemanly bow. "Ms. Tam, would you please come forward?"

River's breath was shallow as she stepped toward the console so that the small camera could transmit her face. She kept the Captain slightly in front of her, even though she knew that the Operative couldn't reach through the screen and snatch her. It made her feel safer to have someone between them. What could he possibly want with her now? The Parliament had nullified the warrant for her arrest, the Operative had said that the psychic program was being dismantled, and for all intents and purposes, River had been a free woman for four months now.

"It's very nice to finally meet you, Ms. Tam," the Operative greeted her, his eyes taking in her square face, her large brown eyes, and the trembling line of her mouth. "You know, I only got a glimpse of you at Mr. Universe's complex. You were on the floor, in a corner, crying while Ms. Serra tried to calm you down. I must say, you hardly look capable of the damage you did that day."

He looked down, showing only his forehead and crown to the image recording device on his end. He looked to River to be trying to say something difficult.

"It's better to rip a bandage off all at once," she told him.

The Operative raised his face again and slowly nodded. "Yes. You are right. Ms. Tam, I assume you know the five phase plan of your training at the Academy?"

River gripped the back of the pilot's chair that the Captain still inhabited. Not able to find her voice, she nodded. She could feel the curiosity and confusion of her crew mates, but her attention remained focused on the screen.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Tam," he continued. "The Academy has completed Phase 5."

All of the air in River's body was expelled on a chocked sob as she doubled over the back of Mal's chair. "…No…."

Simon rushed forward, and Mal turned around in his chair and grabbed the girl's arms to keep her from falling over. She wasn't looking to steady on her feet at the moment. Gently, the two men got River into the chair, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes as she struggled to breathe.

"What the ruttin' hell is Phase 5?" Mal spun to ask the Operative.

Before the man could do more than open his mouth, River's small voice answered from beneath long streams of her hair. "Phase 1: General Education. You'd be surprised how much death can be taught as advanced physics. Trajectories, acceleration, angular velocity, projectile motion….Phase 2: Physical Training. Very important. Must teach the body to kill. Martial arts are not downloadable, you know. Phase 3: Limbic Manipulation. Cold chairs, long needles, nightmares, and screaming. It was observed that subjects responded better when Phases 2 and 3 were issued conjointly. Phase 4: Application. Simon got her out before they could unleash their weapon on a target."

River shuddered and folded herself into a ball on the chair, forehead pressed against her knees. To hell with protecting her spine. River should have been protecting her stomach. "Huh choo-shung tza-jiao duh tzang-huo!"

"River?" Simon murmured. "Mei-mei? What was Phase 5?"

With effort, only wanting to burry her head in her knees and never look up again, River raised her face enough to whisper, "Phase 5: Generation."

"Generation?" Mal asked the Operative, who had been quiet while River explained the situation.

"What she means is that the last phase of the program—which was only a hypothetical until River was taken from the Academy—was meant to examine whether or not a second generation of Academy students would prove to be even more effective than a first generation."

Inara's mouth dropped open a little, and she stepped forward next to Mal. "A-are you saying that they were going to…_breed_ their subjects?"

"In a sense," the Operative confirmed. "Although it is unlikely the female subjects would have carried their own children. As in this case, a surrogate would have been found and implanted with an embryo."

"Well, that's at least better than having her raped and knocked up," Simon spat.

"Not an issue," River murmured drawing everyone's attention once again. Her head was up now, and she had calmed down enough to sit back and push her hair out of her face.

"What do you mean, it's not an issue?" Inara asked.

"You didn't see the scar?" she asked the older woman. "You were there, in the cargo bay when I crawled out of the box. You didn't see the scar? Simon?"

Her brother winced and bit the inside of his bottom lip when he realized what she meant. "I…."

"Didn't want to think about it," River finished for him. She patted his hand. "I understand."

"Wanna explain for the rest of us?" Jayne piped up from in back.

River craned her neck and spoke directly to the mercenary. "What good is a gun that you can't use for nearly a year?"

"Not too gorram much," he answered.

"Exactly," she whispered. "What good is a pregnant weapon? _Not too gorram much._"

Kaylee gasped and covered her mouth.

Jayne's eyebrows met his hairline. "Oh. So…they took all your goods out?"

"Jayne!" Kaylee smacked his arm.

"They severed the fallopian tubes from my uterus," River explained. "There was no need to remove anything. It would have probably caused unwanted problems for the doctors if they drastically altered the physiology of a still-developing adolescent girl."

Inara put her hand on River's shoulder and squeezed, tears welling up in her eyes.

"This is what you called us for?" Mal demanded of the Operative. "To tell us that they had River bred?"

"Yes," he answered. "And to ask if you wanted to help us get her out."

The crew went quiet.

"It's a girl?" River asked.

The Operative smiled softly. The screen cut to a picture of a pink newborn with chubby cheeks. Her eyes were still closed, but there was a fine growth of dark brown hair on her head and the suggestion of eyebrows. Tiny hands curled over the top of a pink blanket, and underneath the picture was a series of letters and numbers.

"She's so pretty," Kaylee said.

"Wuh de tyen, ah." Simon shook his head at how anyone could do this. "Húndans."

The Operative's voice came over the picture of the baby. "Officially she's labeled RT215042518—River Tam 2, born the fifteenth of April, 2518."

When the picture cut back to the man waiting for an answer, River had made her decision. The whole crew had in their minds. They would not leave a child in the hands of the Academy. River set her feet on the floor and sat tall in the pilot's seat. "Where do we meet you?"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Timeline based on Edgar Governo's Firefly Timeline.

_Gwai-gwai long duh dong_ --- what the hell

_Wuh tzai chien shr ee-ding ruh dao shuh-muh run luh bah_ --- I surely annoyed someone or other in a past life, didn't I

_Huh choo-shung tza-jiao duh tzang-huo!_--- Filthy fornicators of livestock!

_Wuh de tyen, ah_ ---dear god in heaven

_Húndans_—sons of bitches


	2. Chapter 2

The crew of _Serenity_ met up with members of the underground movement on Three Hills less than a week later. The Operative couldn't be there himself, as it would be throwing away an ace in the movement's hand if he revealed his support of anti-Alliance activities. The Parliament knew that he would not respond to their orders anymore, but he had managed to drop off of their radar so completely that they had no idea what his current activities were.

Instead, Mal led his crew into your basic Rim world drinking and eating establishment, The Dish and Spoon, where the Operative had instructed the Captain and crew to meet another leader of the movement. In a corner booth, four men and one woman sat facing one another, drinks on the table. The man on the end looked up when the crew entered and met Simon's eyes.

"Mr. Garcia?" the doctor sputtered.

He smiled at the young man and stretched forth his hand. "Dr. Tam. Glad to see you remember me. And this must be River." He watched the girl with long dark hair step up to her brother's side. "Nice to meet you, Miss. Glad to see you're doing well. I'm just sorry we had to meet under these circumstances."

River shook the hand of the man-who-called-himself-Garcia. His real name was hidden—like Shepherd Book's had been, like the Operative's was, but not nearly so deep. She could have found it if she wanted. However, it was safer for all concerned if they only had an alias.

On the inside of his wrist and up Garcia's forearm was a tattoo of the Virgin Mary on a white pedestal with a red equal-armed cross. Frighteningly, the face of Mary looked very much like River's own, and she frowned up at him. "The Knights of Templar."

The man smiled. "Yes. None of us could come up with a very good name for our organization, but once we heard about your daughter being born... well, there certainly were some who likened it to a virgin birth."

A snort came from behind and River turned to glare at Jayne. He held a hand to his mouth and snickered. "You ain't exactly what I pictured when the Shepherd back home told me about the second comin'."

The rest of the crew glared at him. 

River rolled her eyes and said, "I really will kill you with my brain."

Garcia chuckled, and then turned from her and introduced the other five members of his team, all of whom were also under pseudonyms. Yuri was armed and built like Jayne with a full, red beard that covered the lower half of his face. Langston, Vi, and Fujita would be helping with the technology end of it. Langston was an expert hacker who once worked with Mr. Universe. Vi and Fujita both used to be Alliance electrical technicians involved with security systems.

"Trust me when I tell you that this team will get us in and out of the Academy in one piece."

"So, where are we headed, anyway?" Mal asked. "Cuz, from what I see here, this ain't the place."

"Londinium," Garcia said. "We brought money for supplies, and duffle bags full of disguises."

Mal nodded. "Let's go then."

They spent four days of travel planning and perfecting their stratagem. Apparently the psychic program hadn't been as completely dismantled as the Operative had been led to believe. True, the Parliament had decreased its training locations, limiting it to a single world, and they weren't taking anyone from well-connected families anymore, no matter how well they scored on aptitude tests, but doctors and scientists were still trying to find a way to harness the power of the mind toward their own ends.

When they reached Londinium just after noon, the Alliance's new seat of "higher learning," the shuttles detached and flew to their positions. Team one was in Inara's shuttle with the Companion as pilot. She flew them to the city's sanitation center for them to sneak into a garbage bin, and then made her way to a local super-store to direct the intake of supplies that they'd ordered upon entering the atmosphere. Team two went straight to the Academy compound and set down on the roof. The actual facility was underground, so they had to find an air shaft that would put them almost exactly at the cryogenic vault.

Onboard, Langston worked on his personal Cortex connection and hacked his way into the Academy's security systems, while Garcia took a detour into the mainframe to collect names and progress of other subjects at the Academy. Down on the ground, Kaylee distracted the dock workers with sweet-talked as they refueled the boat. She was the diversion, making like everything was normal.

Langston and Garcia monitored the security feeds until 14:00. Langston uploaded a basically harmless virus that allowed Garcia to start downloading names and stats of other Academy subject, then tapped into the camera feeds and added a slight loop.

"Okay, now. Team one, go! You have three minutes before they realize I looped the camera feed." Langston's voice directed over the com's in the two separate teams' ears. River, Jayne, Mal, and Vi infiltrated the Academy inside the bin of an automated garbage drone, tweaking Kaylee's Lassiter removal plan. Once the bin had connected to the shoot on the outside of the building on the far end of the north wing, and Langston gave the word, Vi overrode the lid on the other side to open and the four of them crawled into an empty hallway.

Jayne and Mal had cracked out their paramedics uniforms and made a few alterations. They could pass for Academy staff well enough with River in a teal smock and leggings held by each arm between them. Vi was dressed in white nurses' attire as she lead the way through the corridors.

"Our inside guide should be able to guide you from there," Langston assured. "Just try to look like you belong there until she shows up."

&&&

At a circulation vent near the main crux of the Academy compound, Yuri drummed his fingers against the grating as he waited for his signal. "We good, Langston? Langston!"

"Hold on, they just got inside. If I loop it too close together, security's going to catch on."

The bearded fighter rolled his eyes and continued drumming.

"Now," Langston ordered.

Yuri popped open the grate and slid in an automatic lift. He ushered in Simon, Zoë, and Fujita, climbed on himself, and pushed a button on the portable controller to lower them into the facility. Once inside, they belly crawled to an vent and dropped down into the corridor.

"The cryo-chambers for tissue samples are in the east wing," Langston told them. "There's twenty-two minutes left for this little party before _Serenity_ is scheduled to leave port, and those shuttles don't have the thrust to break atmo."

Fujita and Simon, dressed as doctors, chatted amiably as they walked to the cryogenic vault. Zoë and Yuri were in technicians' digs and carrying coolers. Just another quick transfer of tissue from one science lab to another. And they had to have doctors with authorization codes leading the way.

Simon spotted the vault and led them over. The muscle fanned out and kept watch on the intersecting hallways. Fujita stepped over to the control panel and pulled out a key card with wires attached to the top and slid it into the slot at the top. The wires were connected to a small handheld device that the small man tapped a few codes onto. Numbers and letters started whirring on the top until the correct combination lit up. The corresponding arrangement flashed on the panel in the wall, and the vault doors slide open with the sound of air entering a vacuum.

&&&

"Eighteen minutes," Langston reported.

"We're still waitin'," Mal said. "Where's this guide of yours? They don't show soon, we'll find out own way."

Muffled steps came from one of the halls to the right, and they turned to see a middle aged woman whose white smock made a stark contrast with her dark face. She didn't seem surprised to see them, which was a good sign.

"I didn't have time to clean up," she murmured.

"The place looks immaculate," Vi answered.

Mal and Jayne were quite confused by the pleasantries, until River noted, "Code. _Immaculate_ conception." River rolled her eyes. "She'll lead us to RT2."

The woman smiled sadly at the girl. "We nurses call her Angel. Now, come with me.

She's this way. I just put her down for her nap."

The nurse led them down one of the halls into a room that most certainly did not belong in this whitewashed, antiseptic environment. It was full of bright color: windowless, tangerine painted walls with balloons and circus animals, green carpet to simulate grass, and a ceiling painted to resemble the sky complete with three dimensional clouds. Toys were in bins and baskets on the floor. A dresser sat against the left hand wall, and a changing table was right beside it. There was a baby bed against the right wall, and the mobile above it hung with a zebra, leopard, tiger, and panda played a tinkling lullaby.

"Grab her and let's hurry up," Jayne growled.

River rushed to the baby bed and looked inside. The baby lay on her stomach, her face turned toward River. Her wide open eyes were the brown of melted chocolate, framed by long lashes and dark bangs hanging in her face. She had a small, straight nose and a wide mouth. At eight months old now, she already looked so much like her own person, but there was no denying that River was her mother.

"Hello," River whispered as she reached in and slid her hands under the baby's arms to lift her up. "Hello, Angel. Nee can chi lai hun yo jing shen, daughter."

Mal smiled a bit as he came over and clasped River's elbow. "She's a real doll, and you can admire her later, but right now we gotta go."

&&&

Yuri and Zoë guarded the door while Simon and Fujita roved around the cryo room looking for River's samples. It was the security hacker that found the right section of kiosks.

"Sawyer, Smith, Song, Sylvan, _Tam_!"

Simon rushed over. He released his sister's segment from the main kiosk, and began reading the labels on the vials and tubes. There were blood samples, DNA samples, plasma, brain tissue that they'd stripped from her amygdale, and finally he found the stolen eggs from her ovaries. He plucked up everything and put them in the cooler Zoë carried.

"Alright, let's go."

"Tee wuh duh pee-goo!" Langston's voice pealed over the com wave. The sound of frantic typing followed. "Get out of there! I had to send security your way."

The five exited the room and Fujita sealed the door behind them. The sound of several footsteps headed toward them echoed in the empty halls. Zoë grabbed Simon's arm and pressed him against one wall, mirroring Fujita, as the fighters took position.

A trio of orderlies rounded the corner chatting. Something about lunch. Zoë and Yuri relaxed and nodded to the Doc and the programmer. The four of them made their way swiftly back to the air vent. Running footsteps could be heard as they piled onto the lift and Zoë secured the grating back in place. Yuri took out the controller in his pocket and hit the up button and they returned to the shuttle.

&&&

Inside the nursery, Vi and Jayne grabbed a few necessities from the dresser and changing table: diapers, wipes, some clothes, and a stuffed bear that was in the crib with Angel. They stuffed them into a small bag Jayne had in his belt and the four of them hightailed it out of there.

"Uh-oh," came over the com. "Problem."

Mal could hear arguing in the background. Garcia hissed something about sector twelve before Langston came back on.

"Get RT2 out of there now. We have three guards coming your way. Someone in observation recognized River. I scrambled it to make it look like she's in the east wing, but you don't have long 'til they figure out she's not."

The nurse stopped them on the way out the door. "Wait! Someone might want to hit me. Make it look like I was forced to lead you to the baby."

"Sorry about this, ma'am." Mal grabbed a heavy flashlight from his belt, and brought it down hard against the side of her head. The woman's eyes rolled back, and she collapsed to the green carpet.

They ran from the room, River holding Angel who had begun to whimper in confusion. She shushed the baby as well as she could as they rushed through the corridors toward the cafeteria kitchen to hitch a ride back out with the garbage. It was a good thing it was the middle of the day and all of the gen. ed. student were still behind the solid doors of their classrooms, or they might have more problems to deal with as they made their way down the main corridor of the east wing.

Just as the five had reached the maintenance door that lead to the kitchen, a young man dressed in comfortable workout pants and a button-down shirt over grey tank walked out of the door of the cafeteria and spotted them. His green eyes widened in recognition.

"River?"

Both shifted their attention as the sounds of shouts and running feet came from farther down the hall. More were coming up a security stairwell from behind them. Mal and Jayne reached for the weapons they had hidden in pockets and boots, but River stopped them with a quick hand.

The man took a quick breath and refocused on River. "You surprised me as I came out. I didn't have time to react."

River clutched Angel to her, spun and hit him with a powerful roundhouse kick to the head. He dropped and lay unconscious.

She scanned around her and pointed to a small hallway with another garbage shoot. "There!"

"But that's not the one we came in on," Vi pointed out. "It's not programmed to _not_ take us to incineration. We'll die."

"No time. Rewire it once we're inside," River directed. "Ma shong!"

River dove in first, shivering at the thought of blue gloved hands on her arms, pulling her baby away from her. Angel was really starting to cry now, and her wails were sure to bring the security men down on them.

Vi followed while the men watched their backs, and then one after the other slid down into the garbage. Mal almost didn't make it in time. The weight sensors had read the first three arrivals and signaled the drone to come and take the bin away. Jayne caught the weakly powered doors and managed to hold them open long enough for Mal to slither in.

Vi was already on the com telling Langston and Garcia about the change of plans. They really needed to find some way of getting the drone to not take them to reclamation.

The bin shuddered as the drone locked onto it and carried them away. Angel was weeping in confusion and fear while River tried to calm her down. It wasn't the baby's fault she didn't know that they were trying to save her.

"Try bouncin' her," Jayne suggested.

River raised an eyebrow at him, joined by Mal's incredulous glance.

He shrugged. "My Ma used to bounce my brother to get him to quiet down. Figured it couldn't hurt."

She gently began bouncing the baby, only it didn't help.

"Sway a little as you do it," Jayne said.

River swayed and bounced. Angel stuffed her fingers into her mouth. After a few minutes, her tears lessened, and though she was still crying, she had at least quieted down a bit.

"Okay, folks, it refuses to be rewired from the outside," Langston reported. "But, good news, we can shut the drone down."

"We're in the air," Mal pointed out.

"Yes, that is a problem," the hacker agreed. "We're…uh…just gonna have to come pick you up."

"My pilot is in the air with me."

"Garcia, think you can fly this thing?" the com picked up Langston's question. There was mumbling in the background.

"Right, so that's what we'll do. See you all in a few."

"If you wreck my boat, I'll shoot you," Mal warned.

Three minutes later, the drone's speed stuttered in the air. The adults in the bin grabbed a hold of the sides for support. A loud rushing noise preceded a lot of jostling and banging. The occupants were thrown against the walls and face down into the garbage bags that cushioned them while the screech of metal against metal whined around them. Angel was screaming again, and this time all of the adults felt with her. The drone and bin stuttered to a halt, and the sensation of flying in a much larger machine took over.

"Everybody's home," Langston reported. "We're getting the hell out of here."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Garcia—a leader of the underground movement mentioned in the Serenity novelization

_Nee can chi lai hun yo jing shen_—You look wonderful

_Tee wuh duh pee-goo_—kick my ass

_Ma shong_—hurry


	3. Chapter 3

_DISCLAIMER: _Joss is Boss, Keith R. A. DeCandido is night manager, and the writers of Firefly-VS2 are employees of the month. I borrow and give great reverence.

_SPOILERS: _Firefly-Virtual Season 2 episodes 1 and 2, _Angel Echoes_ and _Heart and Sole_.

CHAPTER 3

After the garbage bin and drone had settled on the floor of the cargo bay, Zoë and Kaylee rushed over to unlock the top and get their crew members out. The second that River climbed out of the garbage bin with Angel in her arms, they were surrounded by the female crew members of _Serenity_, leaving the other three to free themselves on their own. Kaylee cooed and made ridiculous baby talk while Inara and Zoë ran their hands over the baby's arms, legs, and hair. The first mate's expression was one of longing, and she quickly forced herself away from Angel and back to her Captain's side.

"Little Albatross," Mal called River's attention. He swung one leg over the rim of the bin. "You wanna tell us who that boy was that let us go without a fight?" The soles of his boots thumped as his feet hit the floor.

River ducked her head, a half-smile, half-grimace pulling at her mouth. "One of my movement trainers. He was a friend."

He let it sit at that. If the girl had had even one friend in that place, she was lucky. Mal turned his attention to taking the baby bags so that the other two out of the garbage binOnce out, he had Vi and Jayne leave the baby's things on a crate. Vi then went to join up with Fujita and Yuri in the mess. Jayne went to change out of the paramedic uniform and back into normal clothing that didn't smell like it had been in a dumpster.

Simon had rushed in when he heard Langston come over the intercom. In a few minutes, he finally managed to wedge himself between his girlfriend and the Companion to get to his sister. "Mei mei, are you alright?"

"Yes."

Simon looked the baby over and thought that she looked a lot like River had when she was a baby. He glanced at his nearly grown up little sister and was reminded that that had been a long while ago, and he might not remember all that well. "How about I go check RT2—"

"Her name is Angel," River corrected.

Simon smiled his "humoring River" smile and corrected himself. "How about I give Angel a quick check-up? Just to make sure she's healthy and…healthy."

To make sure they hadn't already started messing with her brain structure or anything else.

River, yet to relinquish her hold on her daughter, nodded in understanding and followed her brother to the infirmary, Kaylee on her heels. River hesitated in the door way, as she always did, but forced herself inside while Simon retrieved his stethoscope and put the earpieces in his ears.

Angel had stopped her frightened sobbing triggered by the plummet in the garbage drone before Serenity swooped them up, but she still whimpered her confusion about this terrifying turn of events. She tried to stick her fingers back in her mouth, but River took hold of her hand and stopped her which caused Angel more distress.

"Simon, hand me some sanitary wipes," River asked. "Don't want her getting sick from germs in the dumpster."

Simon reached into a drawer and pulled out a handful of them. He passed them to River as he lifted the diaphragm of the stethoscope to Angel's chest to listen to her heart. River cleaned the baby's fingers with the wipes and then let her put them back in her mouth. All the while, Kaylee cooed and tried to distract Angel with smiles and repetitious baby talk about how adorable she was.

Outside, Mal and Zoë met with Garcia in the common area while Langston programmed the autopilot to take them out to the Rim as quickly yet unsuspiciously as possible. The three people in the lounge looked in through the infirmary windows. River was rubbing Angel's back and petting her hair while Simon did a routine checkup and took a few blood samples. The finger prick to get the samples set Angel to wailing again, and River picked her up and did the sway-bounce again to calm her down.

"She's already getting attached to the girl," Garcia noted.

"That she is," Mal muttered.

Garcia cleared his throat. "You know, we never meant for River to keep RT2. I think you'll agree, it's safer for both of them if they aren't together. If anyone comes after the baby, they'll get River, too. Vice versa."

Mal turned a grim look on the shorter man. "So who's gonna be the one to tell that to River, hm? 'Cause now that she's got her, I don't think River will want to let her daughter go."

"I'll tell her, don't worry," Garcia assured him. "We already have a family on Kerry picked out. The Danvers' were originally from Paquin untiltheir oldest son was sent to the Academy. They'll take good care of the girl."

"And you expect River to be happy about that?" Zoë asked.

"It's okay."

The three turned to find River in the doorway of the infirmary. Judging by the fragile look on her face, she'd been there a while.

"I understand," she said. "I can't keep her. I'm not…not _really_ her mother. She shouldn't have to grow up on the run all the time, never seeing dirt or sky. I am not always…able…." She swallowed. "I just want one thing."

"Name it," Garcia encouraged.

"I want to be able to give Angel to the family myself. I want to meet them and make sure they'll be good for her. I don't want Angel going to parents who won't love her."

Garcia looked to Mal for this one. It was the Captain's ship, and he didn't want to make a decision that the other man would have to refute. Mal glanced back at him, and nodded once. Garcia gave River an answering smile, and nodded his head as well.

"Thank you." River clutched Angel more tightly to her chest and walked toward the cargo bay to retrieve the baby's bags.

Kaylee slid her arm around her friend's shoulders, and went with her. "I'll show ya how to change her diaper. I had a lot of practice with my older sisters' and brothers' kids."

Simon joined Mal, Zoë, and Garcia in the common room. While he was glad that they had rescued the baby, and that River was so concerned for her continued welfare, the doctor worried that his sister would be hurt by the Captain and freedom fighter's decision. "What happens if River gets too attached?" he asked. "What if she doesn't want to give Angel up after we find the family?"

Mal sighed, and crossed his arms. "We'll cross that one when we come to it. Though, I'm a bit worried myself."

Simon tugged on his earlobe in indecision. He knew his sister was smart enough to realize the rational reasons why Angel needed to be elsewhere in order to remain safe, but rationality didn't have a whole lot to do with devotion. He knew that from firsthand experience. After a slight nod to the trio, he went back into the med bay and started looking over the blood samples he'd taken.

Mal led Zoë and Garcia out of the lounge and back up to the second level of the ship. Garcia stayed in the galley with his people, and Jayne who had come in to start dinner since it was his turn. In the passageway between the mess and the bridge, Zoë stopped the Captain with no more than her own pause and a turn to face him.

"Sir, I know the possible danger of Angel remaining on the ship," she began. "But I think that River is old enough to raise her. On most Rim worlds, girls younger than her are married and have families."

"Those girls aren't half-crazy," Mal pointed out.

"River has been so much better these past few months."

"And I'm thankful for that, but it don't make me think she can raise a baby, Zoë. Besides, she said it herself—a kid shouldn't live without dirt underfoot and a sky up above. Serenity wasn't built to be a nice safe home for little ones."

"Sir, in case you've forgotten, I grew up on a ship," Zoë reminded him. "It may not be a ranch on Shadow, but it's not a horrible way to come up in the 'Verse."

Mal stepped a little closer to his First Mate and looked down at her, though not harshly. Had he seen it from the outside, he would have noticed the same concerned expression that Simon often had when looking at River. "Why you pushin' this, Zoë?"

She glanced down at the grating under her boots. "I just think it's unfair to assume that River couldn't take care of Angel. She isn't even being given a chance."

"Zoë," he murmured, hands coming to rest on her shoulders, "that's not your baby downstairs."

Her whole body seized up, back straight, chin up, eyes forward, gaze locked somewhere above her commanding officer's head. "No, sir."

"My decision's been made. River's a smart girl. She'll understand why it's gotta be." He squeezed her shoulders once before releasing them. "Don't wanna hear another thing about it."

"Yes, sir."

Mal went on up to the bridge. Zoë stood a moment, eyes closed, before she turned around, kicked open her hatch, and climbed down the later. When it closed, the "Locked" sign came on, and no one saw her up for dinner that night.

&&&

_Serenity_ dropped Garcia and his team off on Santo where they would rendezvous with other members of the underground movement—as yet annoyingly unnamed—to evaluate the information that Garcia was able to download from the Academy data base. A round of quick handshakes preceded an uneventful departure leaving Mal and the crew to head off for Kerry. He told River to make it a slow trip, no hurry. They don't want to draw attention from Alliance cruisers. The only reason a flag hadn't come up on the Cortex was because, if the Alliance put up a warrant for Angel or her kidnapping, they would have to name the baby's parents, or explain the lack of those names to an evermore mistrustful post-Miranda public.

The trip took eight days, with a brief stop on Harvest to pick up baby food, milk formula, and extra diapers along with a mess of other things Mal didn't see the need to buy since they wouldn't need them for long. They got baby shampoo, a little hair brush with the softest bristles in the 'Verse, washcloths, a booster seat, spit-up rags, two pacifiers, plastic baby silverware, and Inara chipped in for three cute little jumpers: one pink with a lamb, one in yellow with a duck on the chest, and one in lavender that had a teddy bear decal on the leg like on Kaylee's coveralls.

During that week, River cared for Angel. She gave the baby baths in the sink in the mess, like Kaylee showed her how. She found out that babies were very slippery, but River rediscovered a joy of water as Angel splashed and giggled in the sudsy bathwater. And Angel surely did need those baths after she was fed. She could hold her spoon or little baby fork, but River did most of the directing to get the food into Angel's mouth. Alot of it unavoidablyended up all over her face, down her neck, and around her in the baby seat. Once, River even found carrots in her hair.

One lunch while River was helping Angel negotiate the spoonful of pasty baby cereal, Jayne walked through the mess on his way to help Kaylee with a repair in the engine room—she needed someone to life a rather heavy floor panel so that she could get underneath it. As he passed behind Angel's seat, he lifted a hand to the top of her head for an on-the-run pat. River opened her mouth to scold him, but the touch was gentle. She stared after him in surprise. Angel had been surprised and craned her neck to see what had touched her head. She followed River's example and looked at the big man who was leaving the room.

Jayne glanced back and found himself double-teamed by big brown eyes. Creepy and unsettling. He shook his head and walked on. It was bad enough with just the crazy girl; now there was two little girls who just sat there and watched. Didn't matter that the kid, the baby, was shipping off—Jayne had his doubts about that decision—he thought the sight of being stared at by two sets of identical, knowing eyes would haunt him for a while.

Most of the time, Angel spent her days up on the bridge with River. The baby sat on the pilot's lap, and played with Wash's dinosaurs. Zoë came up and played, too. She told Angel the story of This Land, and how the T-Rex and his crony Pterodactyl tried to take it over, but Stego and his friends, Bronty, Hammer-tail, and Triceratops, always won the day. Kaylee once took Angel to the engine room to show her how _Serenity_ ran. Inara would sit at the table with the baby and brush her hair for nearly an hour after River had given her a bath, ensuring that she would drop off to sleep as soon as River put her down on the cot that was set up in her room. Inara considered painting Angel's little fingernails, but decided that that was a bad idea. Angel ignored the pacifiers they'd bough for her, and sucked on her fingers instead.

In only a few days, River had fallen in love with Angel. She remembered things that she had forgotten she enjoyed. She learned new skills, and got lots of practice in repetition to perfect those skills. Watching Angel study the ship and the people around her led River to re-explore the halls and rooms, and observe how the crew interacted. One of River's favorite new games was saying a word slowly to savor every vowel and consonant, every nuance of sound, and watch Angel mimic her face and try to repeat the word.

At night, when River had put Angel to bed, sometimes Simon would walk by and hear his sister's voice drift through the door of her room. He tried to listen a few times, but River would inevitably feel him outside and come to the door to ask him if he wanted something. This was her not-so-subtle hint for him to go away.

Inside, River talked to Angel about a plethora of things, told her stories, gave advice. She knew that Angel wouldn't be able to remember anything when she grew up, but she thought, maybe, when she was older, Angel might get a feeling of familiarity when she heard the story of Snow White and think, "It wasn't a glass coffin, it was cryo-chamber," or that she would have a love for science because somewhere in the back of her mind, Angel would know what the stars were made of and how they burned.

"The most important thing to remember," River told the sleeping baby two days before they were to land on Kerry, "is that everyone is broken. It's easy to see in some people, but other people keep their broken pieces held tight to them. Hidden. But everyone has them. You must remember this for later. Family is made of people who have broken bits where you are strong, and whole places where you're broken. You fit together and make a whole heart.

"Sometimes you find family, and sometimes they find you. So you can't be afraid," she urged. "You must be brave. Love before you hate. Try before you give up. Fight before you lie down and die." Her voice hitched. Tears slid down her face, and River covered her mouth for a second to keep in any noises that might wake Angel up. "That's all I can give you."

River leaned down and kissed Angel's forehead. The baby's breath wuffled in her sleep, but she didn't wake up. River wiped her nose the sleeve of her white duster which was as closed to a robe as she had. She should get to bed, she knew, but she couldn't pull herself away from the cot yet. She traced Angel's face so lightly with the tips of her fingers. Across her forehead, down her nose, around her mouth, her chin, and up her cheeks. She traced the shell of Angel's ear, and brushed over her long lashes.

"I love your eyes best," River whispered. "You have my eyes. I got them from my mother, just like you did. She got them from her mother, who got them from hers. And back and back and back. Maybe to the beginning of time. One day, you might have a baby girl. She'll have your eyes, and you can tell her that she got them from you. You got them from me, but you won't know to tell her that because you won't remember me. You won't remember that your mother got those eyes from her mother, who got them from her mother before her, and back and back and back. All of us. To the beginning of time."

She resettled on the floor, and rested her head on the cot next to Angel's chest so she could feel the up-and-down of her breathing. "I think I'll sleep here tonight."

&&&

"I'm worried about River," Simon announced at breakfast after River had taken Angel up to the bridge with her. "She's getting too emotionally involved with Angel. She's going to get hurt when the time comes to give her to Mr. and Mrs. Danvers."

"I know," Mal agreed. "Just don't see what I can do about it now. I shouldn't'a let River keep her this long. Should'a had Garcia take the baby with him when he got off on Santo."

Kaylee looked down at her plate of scrambled egg-like protein. She didn't want to think about them giving Angel over tomorrow when they landed. Her sentiments were shared by the other two women, though they managed to keep their expressions from betraying it.

"It's just…." Simon blew out a long breath, and leaned back in his seat next to Kaylee. "River's been hurt so much already."

"Simon," Inara said, "think of it from her point of view. This is likely to be the only opportunity River will ever have to be a mother. Even if she were stationary long enough to meet someone to start a relationship with, the Academy made sure that she would be sterile."

"Heartache isn't something you can protect her from," Zoë added. "Just leave her be."

"I don't see why Angel's gotta go in the first place," Kaylee muttered. "River's been real good at takin' care of her."

"Yeah, she ain't been doin' too bad," Jayne mumbled around a bite of protein-sausage. "That's a surprise."

Except for a few cursory glances, Jayne was ignored since his opinion didn't really matter one way or the other.

"Now, Little Kaylee, regardless of how well River is caring for that baby, we can not keep her on this ship," Mal stated. "I already done had this talk with Zoë."

"How could you be so cold, Mal?" Inara hissed. The force of her voice drew Mal up short. "It is obvious that River is already in love with that child as if she had given birth to Angel herself. There is no sustainable reason for River to have to give her daughter up other than the fact that you don't want to have to deal with it. You are a selfish, inconsiderate bastard!"

Inara pushed out from the table so violently her chair crashed to the floor. There were tears in her eyes, a few even managed to escape, as she fled the room. Mal was quick in pursuit. Firstly, he didn't like being under-minded in front of his crew. And secondly, he had never seen Inara lose control like that.

He caught up with her on the catwalk before she reached her shuttle.

"'Nara!"

"Go away, Mal."

Instead of answering, Mal caught her arm before she fully opened the door to her shuttle. He caught the handled and stopped the door's slide. Inara pushed harder, but Mal wouldn't give.

"Bun tyen-shung duh ee-dway-ro!"

"Inara!"

"Damnit, Mal, just let me go!" she sobbed.

"Why're you so upset about this, 'Nara? Why you arguing so hard for her?"

"Because I know how it feels!" Her breath caught before she began crying in earnest. "I know how it feels to know you can't keep your baby, you just can't, but you'd give anything in the world to have it as long as you can. And yes, it's going to hurt when she gives Angel away, but she has a chance spend time with her, and you cannot take that away, Mal! You cannot expect her not to ache and cry when she looses her daughter!"

Inara sobbed, arms clutched across her chest to hold herself together. Mal reached over her head and slid the shuttle door the rest of the way open. He ushered her inside with a hand on her back, and led her over to the couch. Inara hiccupped in her attempts to calm herself down.

"What's this really about?" Mal asked as gently as he knew how. "This isn't about Angel and River, I can see that much. You gonna tell me what happened?"

Inara wiped her eyes, some of her eyeliner and gold shadow smudging. It took a few remaining sniffles before she opened her mouth to say anything. "You remember I once told you that my mother is a Companion, and that I was a mistake?"

Mal nodded.

"Well, as I've heard all my life: like mother, like daughter." She let loose a bitter, humorless laugh. "I wasn't even a year out of my apprenticeship when I got pregnant. Before you start in on me, _yes_, I knew who the father was! He was a politician on Sihnon. Young, unmarried, and not yet in the market for either romantic attachments or an heir. I didn't bother to have him notified.

"Instead, I withdrew from my friends and from the House for a week. I went to see a doctor on Osiris who was very discreet to talk over my options." New hot tears slipped down her cheeks, and Inara dashed them away with her knuckles. "I was awake every night, crying, trying to figure out what I was going to do. I tried to be rational about it, but I know my feelings for my mother influenced me. I didn't want to be like her. I didn't want to further the Serra Dynasty of House Madrassa. I knew I wouldn't have been able to stomach the looks I was sure to get.

"However, it turned out that the decision was taken out of my hands. During a sonogram to see how far along I was, the doctor discovered an abnormality in the fetus. The baby was growing outside of my uterus. It's a rare occurrence—not even one in a million pregnancies—but it wasn't totally unheard of. I wouldn't have been able to carry the baby to full term, anyway, so it was a good idea to terminate the pregnancy at that early stage before my own health was endangered. As it was, I couldn't have a simple abortion, I needed surgery."

Mal clenched his jaw a few times, his eyes cast to the floor. "That's how you met Simon first? That was the surgery you had—why you wouldn't tell me about it."

Inara sniffed. "Yes. I just…couldn't. I think about it, though. Every day. I wonder if the baby was a boy or a girl, what it would be doing now, what he or she would look like. I think I'd give everything I owned, even my own life, to be able to see that baby alive and healthy now. And that's why I got mad. I know you're worried about River, but she's strong, and smart. She'll do what she has to. She'll cry, she'll stay in her room for days, maybe weeks. But you couldn't expect that not to happen even if you had insisted Garcia take Angel with him and deliver her to her new parents himself. Just let her have this time."

Mal looked up at Inara's blotchy face, swollen from crying. He moved up on the couch next to her, and put his arm around her shoulders. "Alright. It'll be okay."

Inara stiffened at first then let herself sink into his hold. She had kept all of that inside of her for nearly four years. It was almost a relief for Mal to know. But—"You can't tell. You can't tell anyone."

"I won't."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

_Bun tyen-shung duh ee-dway-ro_—Inbred sack of meat

**NOTE: **Okay, this is so far the longest and least Rayne-y of all of the chapters. However, do not despair! Jayne starts to take a more parental role as of the next chapter. I just had to set things up first.


	4. Chapter 4

The crew arrived on Kerry in the early morning just a week after they had rescued Angel from the Academy. The Danvers' lived just west of the town of Bailey Hill. After River set _Serenity_ down in a fallow field a few minutes walk from the small, one-story house they'd flown over, the crew gathered at the cargo bay doors. Even Jayne was there. He stood off to one side, and kept his eye on Mal and Simon. Kaylee and Zoë each had a bag with Angel's things. They had the leftover food they'd gotten, all of the supplies, and two of the jumpers Inara had bought her.

River descended the stairs into the bay as if she were going to her own ritual sacrifice to a god she didn't believe in. If she had slept at all the night before, the slowness of her movements and the dark crescents under her eyes didn't attest to it. She carried Angel down with both arms around her. The baby was awake and up looking at the crew. She had finished her bottle and the bananas River had fed her for breakfast, was dressed in the pink jumper, and had her hair brushed into a little tuft held up by a bow at the top of her head.

The sight made Mal frown. Angel looked endearing and adorable. River obviously wanted the girl to make a good impression on her new parents. She really had been doing a fine job as a mother this past week. And after what Inara had confided in him, Mal was beginning to ponder the possibility of letting Angel stay. The better part of him still held with his decision that the girl would be safer and better raised on the ground, but an inkling of doubt had crept in and taken hold.

"Let's go," River directed as soon as her feet hit the bay floor. If this day had to begin thus, she wanted it over as quickly as possible.

Mal hit the button that lowered the ramp and opened the airlock doors. The crew trudged down the gang plank and onto the dry soil. Jayne looked west. Clouds were just creeping over the horizon. There'd be rain by nightfall. That meant high winds when they took off. He hoped this transfer wouldn't last long. There was nobody here wanted to be on Kerry longer than they had to. Whole damn crew was wound tighter than a gold pocket watch.

River kept her eyes on Angel during the short walk to the Danvers' home. She wanted to keep the image of her daughter sharp and bright in her mind for as long as possible. She only raised her eyes when she heard the squeak of a screen door open. Mr. and Mrs. Danvers stepped from their house onto the wide wooden porch followed by four children. The oldest was entering his early teens, and the youngest was a toddler yet.

It was a good thing they lived so far from town because the two parents obviously did not come from farming families originally. Mr. Danvers was tall and sapling-thin with lithe muscles originally used for trapeze and gymnastics which were just starting to be trained for field work. Beautiful, dark skinned Mrs. Danvers still wore baggy harem pants, and although she now put on a white cotton shirt, a deep emerald green vest covered it. Both were barefoot in the early morning.

"Good morning," Mr. Danvers called out.

"'Mornin'," Mal returned. "I hear you folks know a man goes by Garcia?"

"We do," the lady answered. Her wide face spread into a smile. "And that little sweetie must be the new addition!"

River walked forward, her arms unconsciously tightening around the baby. "Her name is Angel. She's eight months old. She is very smart."

Mrs. Danvers reached out, scooped Angel up under the arms, and pulled her to her soft bosom. "Hello, Angel! Oh, aren't you just the most beautiful little thing!"

River winced. It seemed that everything the woman said was an exclamation. Was it healthy for a baby to be raised around someone that vocal? Angel seemed to have the same thought. She looked back at River, her little brows pinched together in utter bafflement.

"We brought all of her things," River continued. "There were some baby food jars left over, and some cereal. She loves carrots, but she won't eat peas unless you mix them with something else. She likes bananas with her cereal, or apricots. She tries to feed herself, but she can't do it on her own yet."

She swallowed through a tightening throat. "Angel goes through thirteen point five three diapers a day, has her nap no later than one 'o'clock in the afternoon, or she starts to get cranky, and she likes her hair brushed before she goes to bed. I put the pacifiers in her bag, but she doesn't really like them. Mostly she sucks on her fingers, so you have to keep her hands clean or she'll get sick."

River reached up and brushed away a few escaped tears. Her voice cracked as she continued. "She's starting to get up on her hands and knees. She ties to crawl, but mostly it's a lunge. Make sure there's nothing in the way she can hit her head on because, believe me, brain damage is no fun.

"But then you knew all that because you already have children."

She turned away quickly and ran back toward _Serenity_. River tried to keep the out-and-out sobbing under control until she was out of earshot. But as soon as she arrived back at the ship, she sank down on the ramp, pulled her knees up, and let herself bawl.

A few long moments passed, and River heard someone approach. She glanced up at Zoë as the older woman came around the side of the ship, and sat down next to her. Zoë took the girl in her arms to let her finish her crying. River wasn't much for physical contact, but she let herself be folded up into Zoë's side. She rubbed River's back and brushed the hair from her face. She was humming while she rocked her.

As it happened sometimes, River's mind wandered separate from her body. Time stopped obeying its natural flow, and River got a glimpse of something yet to come.

"You'll be a mother," River choked out. "You'll be a wonderful mother."

"Not likely to happen," Zoë answered. "Don't you worry about me. I've pretty much given up on it, anyhow. I got plenty of hope for you, though. You got a lot of life left ahead of you. This is just one little bump."

River shook her head against the older woman's shoulder. "First death. Then pain and screaming. Then joy. Just won't be the way you expected. You'll hold him before another year is out."

Zoë hated the little thrill she felt inside while River had her heart smashed. She held onto the girl for a while longer, but her concentration drifted.

&&&

River ran off, and Zoë followed slowly behind after setting the baby bag she carried on the ground. Kaylee buried her face in Simon's shoulder, unable to hold back a few of her own tears. Simon lifted his arm up to her shoulder and squeezed. Inara's eyes were cast toward the ground.

"She doesn't want to give Angel up, does she?" Mrs. Danvers asked.

Mal shook his head. "Not particularly."

Angel started to fuss. All of this newness was terrifying, and the Danvers' youngest son was pulling at his mother's pant leg in attempt to get her attention. He was starting to whine which set Angel to another level of upset.

Mrs. Danvers looked at her husband. He shrugged. The crew shifted and tried to find a way to gracefully exit.

"Well." Mal cleared his throat. "You folks are real generous to take Angel in like this. I'm sure she'll be fine here. Don't be surprised if River feels the need to stop by and check on her girl every once in a while."

He started to lead the crew away when he heard Jayne muttering. It sounded very much like Jayne was calling into question his mother's virtue and Mal's own ability not to drool on himself.

"What was that, Jayne?"

"Nothin', Cap, just thinkin' yer makin' the wrong choice. Again."

"And how is that?"

"They got four kids already. They don't need another one," he pointed out.

Mr. Danvers' brows lifted at that.

"_You're_ sticking up for my sister?" Simon questioned.

"Any time your sister is spending with the rugrat is time she ain't goin' bughouse on the rest of us."

"So, you're joining the others in saying I should've let Angel say?" Mal wanted to clarify.

Jayne nodded"The kid ain't that bad. She keeps fairly quiet, don't eat too much, an' she gives the girl—River, I mean—somethin' to do besides pilot and be crazy. Besides, with as much as them two—" he pointed at Kaylee and Simon—"go at it, you might be havin' a baby on yer ship in another year's time, anyway. Whatcha gonna do? Ask your mechanic and the Doc to find another berth when lil' Kaylee gets knocked up?"

"Hey!" Simon sputtered, his face a ripe color of raspberry.

"That—what? No!" Mal spun on Simon and Kaylee. "You ain't…are ya?"

"Not right this second," Kaylee answered.

"Good." He turned back to Jayne. "And, besides, it ain't my place to make that decision anymore. Girl's been handed over. She got new parents. You want me to take their new baby away, too?"

Mrs. Danvers huffed. "Now, wait just a minute!"

The crew faced her, and watched as she adjusted her hold on the whimpering infant. Her little boy had started climbing her side in order to get into her arms and displace the intruder.

"Gorram it, Tomas, would you grab him before he pulls me over!" she shouted to her husband who quickly did what she asked. "All right, then."

She lifted Angel up to look the baby in the eye. She took in the curve of her face and the way Angel was sucking on her fingers, just like the River-girl had said. Mrs. Taborri Danvers had been looking forward to meeting this child for nearly a month. When Garcia had contacted her and her husband about them taking in a baby that had been born as one of the subjects at the Academy where her oldest boy had disappeared into, she saw it as karma. Of course she would take the little one. It was implied that she had sprung from a test tube fully formed, or at least that was the way that Taborri had pictured it. There was no mention of a mother or anyone else that wanted the girl. It had come as something of a surprise to have the baby handed to her by a tearful girl who couldn't have cracked twenty years old yet.

The gruff man had spoken true. The Danvers family boasted five children including the one who may or may not still be alive inside the Alliance facility. Her husband had to be bossed into accepting the new arrival, and little Kaelem refused to be talked into the idea of sharing his mothers lap at all. The taking of a child to try and replace what she'd lost wouldn't do anyone any good, and that young lady was obviously as in love with this child—her child, those eyes didn't lie—made it all the more wrong.

Mrs. Danvers wheezed out a long-suffering sigh. "Husband, I don't think we can keep this girl!"

Mr. Danvers winced at his wife's sudden change of mind. "Taborri…."

"She ain't mine, Tomas!" She shook her head. "I thought she'd sink into me like one of my own when I finally held her, but you know what? I think I like the idea of rescuing the baby from a life unwanted better. But Angel's wanted." Mrs. Danvers turned to the Captain. "If you truly don't want her on your boat, of course this little darlin' will have a home here."

The tight space that Mrs. Danvers had put Mal in was not to be envied. On the one hand, his crew would stop thinking of him as the heartless hundan they currently viewed him as. On the other, there would be a baby who happened to be a fugitive onboard a smuggling ship that regularly saw trouble, gunshots, and Feds. He turned to the only other person who appeared to be on his side.

"Doc, you really think your sister's capable of taking care of Angel long term?"

Simon thought back over the last four months since they released the signal. "Ever since we were on Miranda, River has been more or less stable. She's been calm, and hasn't had any episodes. There are still some nightmares, but nothing like it used to be. She has been focused and relaxed. Her brain appears to be running at a normal speed…." A new thought birthed in the doctor's brain.

Mal interrupted his thought process. "So, you're saying she can do this?"

"Yes. That's what I'm saying."

So much for his one supporter. Mal shifted back toward the Danvers' and threw up his hands in defeat. "If you're sure you're willing to give this baby up now that you've got her…."

Mrs. Danvers plopped Angel down in Mal's arms before he was given a chance to do anything but catch her so she didn't fall to the dirt. "You tell her Ma that if she or Angel ever need a place to hide out for a while, they're welcome here."

"Uh, yeah." Mal handed Angel over to Inara. The girl had really started crying when she was put in his arms. "Well, we're real sorry about this."

"Don't be," Mr. Danvers insisted. He had his youngest by the arm and was trying to keep him from running after his older sister and brother. "We're just glad the girl has a nice family to stay with."

"Thank you so much!" Kaylee flung her arms around Mrs. Danvers. "This is just the nicest thing you coulda ever done! River loves Angel so much, and she'll take real good care of her."

"Can we go now?" Jayne grumbled. "Glad the girl's stayin' an' whatnot, but hows about we go an' tell the crazy one, and get off this rock, huh?"

Mal waved him off. Man just had to open his mouth, didn't he? He turned back and shook hands with the two Danvers adults, and led his crew back home.

Inara stepped in front of Mrs. Danvers once Kaylee had released the woman. "You're very generous. Thank you."

"It's wrong to take away another's baby like this. Alliance's done that enough, and I won't be a party to it."

Last good-byes were issued and the crew trekked back to Serenity. Zoë and River still sat on the ramp, though the younger woman's tears had stopped. When River saw that Inara carried Angel, she stood, and looked at the Captain and her brother.

"Here," Mal plucked Angel from Inara's arms and deposited her into River's. "You get your wish. She's yours. Just don't make me sorry, little albatross."

"I…?"

"Yeah, yeah, you get to keep her, she stays. But she is your responsibility," Mal warned. "Not your brother's, not Kaylee's, not Zoë or Inara's, and definitely not mine. Angel's hungry, you feed her; she's got a diaper-full, you change her; she makes a mess, you clean it up. Dong ma?"

"Yes. Yes, I understand. I'll take care of her."

"All right, then. Let's get aboard and get going. We ain't had work in a week, and this boat don't fuel herself, you know." Mal opened the doors to let his crew inside. "We'll call Badger, see if he has anything for us. River, you make sure you do that accent thing. He tends to be nicer to us when you do the talkin'."

Jayne was the last one in. He'd gotten wrapped up in his amusement at the sight of River getting handed that baby, and told she could keep her. She'd looked surprised, not sure she heard right, and a little scared. Guess that Garcia fella was right—just like the Virgin Mary. Crazy girl wasn't so scary when Jayne thought of her in those terms.

As last one in, Jayne hit the control panel and closed the airlock. He laughed a little as the landscape of Kerry disappeared behind thick steel. "Merry Christmas."


	5. Chapter 5

For a week after Angel came to stay permanently on Serenity, Simon began testing the idea that had struck him at the Danvers' farm. He gathered everyone for a round of check-ups and questioning that baffled the crew. River, who would otherwise have been able to shed light on her brother's new obsession with their moods and energy levels in the past few months, was so caught up with her new responsibilities as a mother that she was barely aware of his activities.

When explaining River's stability to Mal in favor of River keeping Angel, Simon begun questioning the possibility that it wasn't just the effect of Miranda's secret being shared that prompted a return to near-normalcy for his sister. There was a chance—no, more than a chance, Simon discovered—that it was something more. If it was true, this was the breakthrough he'd been waiting for nearly all year.

He worked like mad. He took blood samples and compared the chemicals in them with earlier ones. He looked over the notes the government operative had the doctors at the Alliance hospital release to him after their discharge, and made more comparisons. Everything pointed in the same direction. With all of the medical evidence to back his hypothesis up, Simon made a call.

&&&

January 2519 was already nearly over. Angel had been on Serenity as a junior member of the crew for four weeks and had celebrated her nine-month birthday, which Kaylee and River were adamant about commemorating. During that time, Angel had lived up to her namesake. She was generally quiet and watchful except when laughing. She had a little trouble those first few nights aboard, but now she slept the whole way through. And if she didn't the crew certainly didn't hear about it. River was true to her promise to Mal that Angel was her responsibility and no one else's.

Long after supper had ended and the crew had gone off to their bunks—or someone else's, in the case of Simon and Kaylee—Jayne was up and moving toward the kitchen. It was just after midnight, and no one was awake, so Jayne hadn't bothered to put on anything put his boots and pajama pants when he climbed out of his bunk. _Serenity_ was taking another of Mal's round-about routes while smuggling opium poppies. Trips like this always made Jayne antsy. Too long in the black and not enough to keep a body occupied. And for someone as physical as Jayne, that meant mind-numbing boredom and trouble sleeping.

Jayne dug through the leftovers in the cooling unit, but couldn't find anything in there he actually wanted to eat again. Instead, he went over to the pantry, looked up to make sure no one was on the ceiling because it turned out that you could never be completely sure, and grabbed for the dry cereal. It came in huge bags and stayed edible even when it went a little stale. Mix it with some powdered milk, and it was almost like home.

Minutes of focused eating passed before Jayne registered a new noise drifting up from the first level. He automatically reached for a weapon. He cussed himself first for forgetting to put on his holster before coming out of his bunk, and secondly for not figuring out the sound he heard was Angel crying.

Disgusted, Jayne left his bowl and spoon on the table when he pushed his chair out and got up. He stomped through the mess, into the passageway toward the engine room, and downstairs to tell the girl to keep Angel quiet. There were folks tryin' to sleep! He got to the last step, mouth open to snap, when River circled around to face him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you could hear her from up there. I'll keep her quiet. Don't tell Mal! I'm sorry."

She was walking Angel back and forth across the floor in long ovals. She had been at it for hours. Her face showed it. She was pale and drawn. Her nightgown was permanently stretched from Angel's weight pulling it down from the baby's perch on her hip. Nothing River did helped.

Angel cried and cried, and she didn't have enough clarity of thoughts yet for River to understand her complaint. She was so worn out that her crying was more of a monotonous moan punctuated by seconds of quiet when she took another breath. The baby's hair was damp from a bit of sweat, and her face was flushed. She would put her fingers in her mouth, then remove them, then put them back just to take them back out. River had even cracked out the pacifiers again. Angel accepted them for a few minutes, but her natural aversion came back and she had wrenched it out and threw it across the room.

Jayne looked on for a moment, watched her pace. The movements were so practiced that River didn't even have to keep her eyes open the entire time to know the exact place her foot had come down the time before and put it there again. He felt pretty bad about coming down to yell when River was clearly doing her best. "How long ya been at it?"

River looked to the ceiling as if a clock floated there. She dragged in a breath. "Three hours, twelve minutes, fifty-seven seconds."

"What's wrong with her?"

"Don't know," she confided. "I know she hurts, but I can't find where."

"Maybe you should go get the Doc. He'll know."

"No! Can't. He's with Kaylee. I can't go bother him for little things."

"What if it ain't a little thing?" he asked.

She shook her head. "If I wake him up for something small, he'll be annoyed and tell the Captain that I should not be allowed to keep Angel if I am going to be a hypochondriac. If I do not wake him up and it is something serious then Angel gets sick and dies and it is all my fault anyway. My only option is to wait. Wait for a change to occur. Change is good—static tells us nothing."

Jayne shook his head. That was some crazy-ass reasoning. It didn't take a doctor to see that both of those girls were exhausted. Whatever was keeping Angel from sleeping was wearing down on River. At this rate, their pilot was going to fall asleep at the helm, and the best they could hope for was that they'd fly off course and miss their target. And Jayne knew it wasn't healthy for a baby to keep crying on like that.

"This a new thing, or she been like this a while?"

"Angel's been fussy all day. When I laid her down, she wouldn't sleep; kept crying. So I started walking."

"She got a fever?" he asked as he stepped into the common room.

River glanced up, her pacing halted momentarily. She rested her cheek against the crown of Angel's head. "A little."

"She snifflin'? All stuffed up?"

"No."

"Anythin' different in her diapers?"

"No."

Hm. Jayne walked closer. River stopped walking her circuit all together and reverted to the bounce-sway Jayne had shown her originally. Going on a vague remembrance, Jayne took another step closer.

"Uh, can I…?" He motioned toward Angel's face pressed up against River's sternum and neck. He didn't want to reach in there unannounced. River alone might take his hand off; as a mother protecting her young, River might outright kill him. Instead, she nodded.

Jayne reached out and just touched the baby's chin, real gentle like. Angel stared up at him with wary, water-filled eyes, but didn't make any move to bat his hand away. He increased the pressure a little and pulled her bottom lip down. That got Angel's attention. She started bawling again, and twisted her head away from Jayne, but not before he got a look at what was hurting her.

"She's cuttin' teeth," he announced. "Right there on the bottom. 'S why she keeps pullin' her fingers out."

River tried to adjust her hold enough to get her own look into Angel's mouth, but the girl was wise to that trick now. She knew to turn her head away. River sighed. "So how do I fix her?"

Jayne thought back to what his Ma had done for Matty when he'd been teething. She'd made soft sourdough pretzels, froze them in the ice box, and given them to Matty to gnaw on. Jayne knew they didn't have any frozen pretzels, but they did have frozen waffles you could put in a toaster. Like the cereal, those waffles were one of the few grain products that kept on a ship.

"Come on."

River followed Jayne up to the galley. Angel's chest rose and fell against her own. It would have been a comfort if the baby's temperature hadn't gone up due to her prolonged crying—if she hadn't been crying in the first place. River glanced at Jayne's back. She was glad that he'd come down when he did, and not before. There were times when she'd cried right along with Angel at her own ineptitude. She had been sure she was about to start again when the merc came down to yell at her. River had not expected his kindness.

In the mess, Jayne went straight for the freezer unit. River sat down at the table across from Jayne's abandoned bowl of cereal, her legs finally giving out now that there was an end in sight. Angel went back to sticking her fingers in her mouth in hopes of relieving some of the pain in her gums. Not a full minute later, Jayne dropped the whole box of frozen waffles on the table in front of them.

"Wait here," he told her, and turned back out of the room toward his bunk.

River frowned. She reached out and poked the box with a finger. She did not understand what cure could be found in packaged breakfast food. When Jayne reentered the room, he carried a small tube in his hand.

"Here."

River took it, and read the label. It was a generic brand, local anesthetic to be used orally for tooth and gum discomfort. And it was perhaps the only medical supply that Simon did not have stocked in the infirmary. She grinned. "Xei-xie, ren ci de yong. Zhu fu ni."

"Put the stuff on her gums, an' then let her chew on a waffle for bit," he directed in favor of responding to her thanks.

Jayne sat back in his chair and poured more cereal into the bowl to cover the soggy taste of the flakes he let sit too long. He watched River gently wrestle Angel to get the numbing gel onto her gums. After a new bout of tears, Angel settled down when the she was given the waffle. River tried to hand the tube back, but Jayne waved it away.

"Keep it. She'll need it again after a while."

She thanked him, and closed her fist around the anesthetic. River leaned back in the chair when Angel quieted. She glanced across at Jayne and accidentally caught his eye. Both looked away.

"How—" she cleared her throat, "how do you know so much? About babies?"

Jayne swallowed before answering. "I helped my Ma when I was younger."

"You have many brothers and sisters?"

"Naw, just Matty. He's almost twelve years younger, though. I was a third parent, more'n anything."

River raised her eyebrows. Twelve years was a big gap. It wasn't unheard of, but on Rim worlds where large families were common, it was odd to have only two children with such an age difference.

Jayne noticed her look and explained, "There were a few brothers and sisters between us, but…."

"I see," she answered. When Jayne frowned a little at her, River realized how that must have sounded. "I mean, I don't _see_. I understand. I wasn't reading you."

"Oh," he mumbled. "Well, okay, then."

As neither of them seemed to be going anywhere—Jayne continued eating his third bowl of cereal, and River didn't want to risk getting up now that Angel had just found a distraction from pain—River struck up the conversation again as a means of filling the awkward quiet.

"You helped your mother a lot when you were younger?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah. I guess. She was real weak after Matty was born, an' he was early besides, so I quit goin' to school so's I could stay home and help 'til Ma got stronger."

"What did you do when she regained her strength?" River asked, a yawn drawing out the end.

"Got a job." Jayne shrugged. "Didn't like school none, anyhow."

River's eyes were finally starting to drift shut, but she wasn't willing to let go of consciousness yet. "What next?"

"Worked at anything. Helped re-roof on a house when the wind came up and knocked the old one off. Tore down a house. Hauled stuff from one place to another for the mining company my Pa worked for. Did a little of the actual mining for a while, too," Jayne answered. He shifted in his seat. This talk was getting longer than Jayne generally liked his conversations to be. He was getting mighty uncomfortable talking about his life like this.

"When was the first time you picked up a gun?"

"Why you wanna know that?" he snapped.

She managed a slight lift of her shoulders. "I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

_Stupid, feng le girl…_he grumbled to himself. "I was twen'y-three—happy? I just got hired on one of the boats that shipped the iron and copper from the mines 'cause one of the hands blew a blood vessal in his brain while takin' a shit. I got his old room, an' under the floor grating I found Boo, my six-gun. I taught myself how to use her. How 'bout you?"

"I was fifteen. Just got upgraded in my training—I was allowed to use crafted weapons now. I shot one of my teachers in the gut, and as punishment they strapped me down and ran eighty thousand volts of electricity through me via little electrodes on my head. I stopped trying to kill my teachers after that."

Jayne wouldn't have admitted it, but he listened wide-eyed. That was horrifying. And not unlike those stories thirteen-year-old boys make up to gross out and impress one another, thought to himself. Jayne knew she was telling the truth, but part of his brain really wanted her to be lying.

What River was doing was falling asleep at the table. Angel watched Jayne eat while she gnawed and drooled. It appeared that the baby was now wide awake and willing to be sociable now that the pressure in her gums was alieved. She watched Jayne get up and walk over to put his dishes in the sink. Then she watched him grab the box of waffles from the table, and replace them in the freezing unit.

"Maybe you should try dopin' her," Jayne suggested.

River jumped. "Huh?"

"Give Angel somethin' to knock her out."

She was appalled. Jayne quickly added, "Not like a shot or nothin'. Just add a little baby-medicine to her bottle to conk her out."

"Can't do that!"

"Sure you can. Lotsa folks do it."

"I will not drug my daughter because her actions are inconvenient!" she insisted.

"Fine, but you'll be awake for another hour at least until she gets tired again."

"Then I'll be awake."

"Fine, but that gel stuff won't last all night," he pointed out. "Hell, I figure it don't got another fifteen minutes or so 'til Angel starts feelin' those teeth again. The meds would let both of you get some sleep."

River rubbed her eyes. She was so tired, and getting crankier by the minute. And who in the tian sha de xi niu guay permitted Jayne to be right twice in one night? It went against all natural laws!

"I suppose I could give her some infant pain reliever to dull the pain," she conceded. "Just don't want to do what Simon and the Captain always did. Girl's being a nuisance, dope her up, and send her to bed."

Jayne nodded. "I get that. Prob'ly shouldn't have said it like I did."

River shrugged which ended up in a bowing yawn. Angel craned her head up to look at her mother. She tried to copy the funny expression. River smiled. She kissed her daughter's head and forced herself up out of the chair. "Time for bed, nian ching de."

At River's statement, Jayne recalled the time, and who he was in the galley having an actual discussion with. He took his own leave with a muttered, "G'night."

"Jayen?" River called him back.

"Huh?"

"Don't tell Mal or Simon, please," she entreated. "Captain said that Angel was my responsibility and no one else's. If they know I had help, they will think she can't do this on her own, she is not fit to be a mother, and they will take Angel away from her. So, please? Do not tell."

He nodded. "All right."

"Thank you." She smiled. "Good night, Jayne. And thank you for your help."

"Weren't nothin'. See ya in the mornin'."

River carried Angel back down to their room. She made a brief detour into the infirmary and went straight to the cabinet that Simon kept the general medication for slight fevers, headaches, upset stomachs, or allergies; and the recently added baby versions of those medicines. She didn't dare set Angel down on the chair, the cot, or anywhere else, so River held her in her left arm, hand still balled in a fist around the numbing gel, as she filled a graduated spoon with a cherry flavored painkiller, and administered it.

Angel was awake for another twenty minutes. Her eyelids started drooping, and her hold on the waffle slipped. River applied some more gel before Angel fell completely asleep to make sure that no pain prevented her from fully reaching unconsciousness. As soon as Angel was rhythmically sucking on her fingers, beta waves washing through her brain, River dropped onto her bed and was asleep seconds after her head found it's cradle in the pillow.

&&&

Jayne still couldn't sleep. He was awake for nearly another hour. All that helping River reminded him of his own mother, and that he hadn't written her in a while. More out of guilt than sleeplessness, he dug under his bed for the small notebook and pen he kept for this purpose, and began a new letter.

_Deer Ma,_

_I am sory I hav not ritten lately. Things hav bin very bizy. Remember that I told yu we lost owr pilet a few months ago? Wel we got us a new one and she haz got a baby. She iz a new ma and she dont no wut she iz doing all the time but she iz geting the hang of it. I helpd her with the baby ones and it reminded me of wen I helpd yu with Matty. This baby iz a girl thow._

_I am fine and not hurt. The crew iz doing fine. We have a job delivering flowers. It shud pay well. I am sending yu the enclosed money to help with Matty's doctor bills. I am glad to heer that he iz feeling better. Tell him and Pa that I wave hi._

_Love, yor son, Jayne_

He ripped the page out of the notebook, and dug around for the box of envelopes. The next time he hit a port that had a post office, he'd mail it off. Writing letters home was always difficult; not only the posting time, the money for stamps, and the not-knowing if the letter would get there at all, but the guilt Jayne always felt when he wrote instead of visited.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& &&&&

_Xei-xie,_ ren ci de yong_. Zhu fu ni._—Thank you, merciful soldier. Bless you. (I tried to find a phrase meaning "my hero," but no luck.)

_feng le_—crazy

_tian sha de xi niu guay_—goddamn cow sucking hell

_nian ching de_—little one


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

For River's eighteenth birthday, as well as because it was time to pick up some needed supplies and the post, _Serenity_ put in at the Space Bazaar. Inara and Kaylee led River and Angel off into the giant complex of department stores, novelty shops, and independently owned booths. Technically, they were supposed to be shopping for baby food and diapers, small spare parts for the ship, and other little doodads and whatnots that _Serenity_ needed. Untechnically, they were girls shopping—they didn't need a reason.

Zoë and Mal picked up post, Jayne refilled the weapons stores and got the cake mix Kaylee was trying to surprise the girl with. Doc was off on his own to restock the infirmary, and secretly trying to find his sister a present. They were all to meet back up in the docking bay where Serenity was locked to the space station when they were finished with their shopping.

In one of the stores the girls stopped in, Inara put her arm around River's shoulder. "Honey, why don't you go pick something out for your birthday?"

"I don't need—"

"I know you don't need anything," Inara interjected, "but you may find something you want. It's your birthday; you should get a present."

"Oooh!" Kaylee squealed from down one of the isles. "River, come look at the pretties! Isn't this dress gorgeous?"

Inara chuckled at the mechanic's enthusiasm, and returned her attention to River. "Here, you let me take Angel for a few minutes, and you go look through the clothes."

"No!" River objected. At the older woman's startled expression, she smiled to cover up her shout. "I'll hold her. I can do both."

"Of course, sweetie," Inara murmured, her brow furrowed, and watched River walk over to join Kaylee.

Angel reached out a hand and grabbed the collar of one of the dresses on the rack. River and Kaylee laughed while detangling the baby's hand. Most of the dresses were like those that River already owned. Before Inara left for the Companion training house the summer before, she had taken the two girls shopping and bought them new things. River had chosen a few new dresses, one of which she had worn while battling Reavers. She didn't wear that one around the ship much anymore. It tended to make the crew nervous.

River wandered over to the coat section and started sorting through the choices. Angel cooed and made grabs for soft material, or bits of shiny cloth. Some coats had faux fur, and others had rhinestones sewn into the cuffs and collar. The third one Angel caught hold of was deep gold tanned calfskin with wool lining inside, in the hood, and around the cuffs. River plucked it from the rack and held it up.

"What do you think?" she asked Angel.

The baby babbled and reached for it. River took that to mean that she liked it. Kaylee came up beside her and took Angel with an encouraging, "Try it on!"

The coat was a little big, but not much. The better to trap body heat, and the wool was soft and warm. River put her hands in the deep pockets sewn onto the front and found them lined as well. She smiled at the two women. "I like this."

"Well, let's go pay for it then, mei-mei," Inara said.

River slipped the coat off, and re-hung it on the hanger. She took Angel back and smiled into her daughter's face. She leaned forward and kissed one chubby baby cheek, and Angel grabbed onto her hair.

"Ow!" River pried her fingers out of her hair. "No pulling Mama's hair."

"When was the last time you had a haircut, anyway?" Kaylee asked. "It's so long! I could never live with my hair that long."

River thought about it. It had been a while since she had a haircut. "I got one before I went to the Academy. The girl wanted to look good for her new teachers and classmates."

"Well then, it's due time for another," Inara interpreted. "There's sure to be a salon in here somewhere. You can get a haircut, a manicure, pedicure—"

"Oooh!" Kaylee clapped her hands. "A makeover for your birthday! I love it!"

River shook her head furiously. "No. Too much. Too much time and money for one girl. No one else gets presents and pampered on their birthdays, only cake. She's already getting a coat, she doesn't need more."

Kaylee pouted as her makeover dream bubble burst. Luckily, Inara tried a different track. "Alright, a makeover is a bit extreme. But a haircut wouldn't hurt. You probably have an inch of dead ends, and the shorter it is, the easier hair is to care for."

River bit her lip. She was supposed to be an adult now—sane and competent and with a child of her own. She was not supposed to have to rely on others to take care of her and Angel. She earned her pay on _Serenity_, and she used that to buy the necessary infant care items. She read about child development off of medical sites on the Cortex, and she purchased the recommended brands of diapers, food, powdered milk formula, and non-restrictive clothing. She was still paying off an advance the Captain had loaned her so that she could buy a proper baby bed for Angel. She did not want to burden her family any more than she already had—emotionally or monetarily.

Angel chose that moment to bury her hands into her mother's hair again, and this time she tugged and babbled intently. Angel had a great many things to say on many different subjects. It was always important for River to get her daughter's opinion before deciding something even if River couldn't understand what she said. In this case, Angel was very adamant about the haircut. She seemed to think it was a good idea, or that's what River interpreted it as, anyway.

"Alright. Just a trim. And perhaps I can buy some hair clips, as well."

Inara smiled as Kaylee hugged her friend.

"Oh, I can't wait! It'll be so pretty."

River let them lead her out of the department store once Inara had paid for the coat. Kaylee chipped in and found a scarf with bright colored stripes. Angel approved. Afterwards, Inara led the girls down one of the main drags into a lift-tube that took them to one of the top sections of the huge space station where some of the higher priced stores and boutiques were located. The Companion led the way into _Tanya's Chop Shop._

"Name?" the girl behind the receptionists' desk asked.

"Nahrta Serra," Inara said. She smiled back at River. Although the warrant for her arrest had been dropped, with the added danger of Angel's rescue, the crew was keeping River as far off of the government's radar as possible. Inara handed the woman behind the desk a few credits. "Also, we're pressed for time. If you could see that my niece gets in soon…?"

The receptionist took them with a smile, and answered, "We'll have a stylist free in just a few minutes. The waiting area is right over there."

"Thank you so much," Inara replied. The three women went to have a seat in the padded chairs. Kaylee stared at Inara like she had done a huge feat by getting River in. River was more focused on Angel.

The baby stared around the room and took in all of the bright lights and newness of this strange place. She wanted to get down and explore, but crawling was still more of a backward scoot than a forward, quadropedal locomotion. Instead, River faced her outward to take in the scenery, and lifted Angel up so that some of her weight was on her feet, standing on River's thighs. Mama's arms were around the baby's waist, and she supported the wobbly infant with her chest and shoulders while both looked in the same direction.

Inara smiled at the display of mother/daughter bonding. She had been playing at motherhood herself for the past three months. The Companion had taken River under her guidance and protection, and she was blatantly paying for baby items and new clothes every chance that came by. If Inara couldn't be a mother herself, she could at least try and be one to a young woman who didn't have a maternal role model. From the little that Simon and River had revealed about their parents, they had acted as any other aristocratic parents in the Core would—not exactly unloving, but unable to form a real attachment to their children because of societal constraints and mores.

_Of course, _she thought to herself with a little smile,_ I wasn't expecting to be a grandmother this soon!_

"Nahrta Serra?" the receptionist called out.

"Here."

The stylist introduced herself as Ameli, and beckoned River back to a chair. River looked over at Inara, and got up, Angel still held against her chest. Grudgingly, River allowed Kaylee and Inara to watch Angel as she went and took a seat.

&&&

"Where the hell are those three?" Mal complained. "I sent them off more'n two hours ago. How long does it take to get some supplies?"

"Sir, with all due respect," Zoë pointed out, "you let those three loose in a girl's shopping dream on one of those girl's birthday. You really expected them to stick to the plan?"

"Well, I surely was hoping that just this once…."

Zoë smirked down at the floor.

Simon walked down the corridor of the docking bay toward the Captain and First Mate where they stood in front of the retractable passageway that was suctioned to the ship's airlock. The Doctor carried two bags. One was clear and contained a lot of supplies for the infirmary. The other was small, made of dark brown paper, and had tissue paper peaking over the rim.

"Are the girls back yet?"

"Not yet," Zoë answered.

"Oh. Uh, okay. I'll just…go put this stuff away in the infirmary." He nodded to Mal and Zoë before entering Serenity.

Mal nodded back and waved the younger man into the ship before he resumed his pacing. "Don't understand women-folk. How can they look at stuff for hours? Not like there's a whole lot of variety, neither. A shirt's a shirt. Just pick one don't have holes or stains on it, and move on. Shouldn't take this long to pick out some basic supplies—albeit it's for a baby. Should take even less time! Angel don't care what kinda diapers she's wearin' so long as they don't leak. That's all I ask, too. Two damn hours is too damn long. Zoë?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Care to shed a little light on the situation?"

She raised that eyebrow at him. "Sir, do I look like the kind of woman who goes shopping?" Not that she would actually mind being with them. There were only so many hours a day she could be around Mal without wanting to give him a sisterly smack upside the head.

"Well, no, but you're still a woman, and that's one up on me in this case."

"In most cases, sir."

"Hey, now…."

They both turned when they heard Jayne coming down the docking hall. He had a distinctive footfall, and he was muttering under his breath. Neither could make it out, nor did they much want to. When the mercenary got close enough, he called out, "D'I beat the girls, or they back already?"

"Still out there somewhere," Mal announced. "If they ain't back in another five minutes, I'm havin' 'em paged, my hand to go—"

"Cap'n, we're here!" Kaylee yelled.

The three warriors turned to find Kaylee, Inara, and River with Angel hurrying down the hallway toward them. Anticipating a spat between Captain and Companion, Jayne set his bags and box down on the floor. You know, there was somethin' different about the crazy girl…he couldn't put his finger on it, but there was definitely something different from this morning.

"Before you start, Mal, we're late because one of the circuits for the lift-tubes from the Level Two had a glitch," Inara explained before he had a chance to yell at them. "We weren't on any of the affected lifts, but there were lines for each of the remaining ones."

For a second, Mal didn't have anything to say to that, but he recovered quickly enough. "And what were you three doing up on Level Two in the first place. I don't pay my crew enough that they can afford the merchandise up there."

The Companion's eyes narrowed. "I paid for River to get a haircut in one of the salons up there. It was part of her birthday gift."

"Oh. Well….Happy Birthday, River. Glad to see Inara use of her proceeds to go to toward the crew for once."

Zoë cut in before either one could say anything else. "You look very nice, River."

"Thank you," the girl returned. The cut wasn't much different from what she had before. The stylist had gushed over the length and texture, so she'd kept it long. Ameli had removed about an inch and a half of dead, split ends, and then added a few discreet layers around her face, the shortest of which was still long enough for River to tuck behind her ears. She had then added some mouse and shine spray to River's hair, blow dried it, and curled it up.

"Yeah, s'nice. Differn't," Jayne offered up. After all, it was her birthday. He was even sorta nice-ish to the Doc on his birthday. "What happened to the kid, though?"

Angel had started crying halfway through the cut, and refused to be comforted by either Inara or Kaylee. She was allowed to come sit on River's lap, so she got a free makeover while River got her hair finished up. One woman added hypoallergenic styling gel to the baby's hair and gave her little ringlets. Another woman had offered up some non-toxic, purple fingernail polish with glitter in it on Angel's finger and toe nails. The last stylist, a man named Dath, was giving a woman in the chair next to River a facial, and gave Angel a facial, too. Angel had tried to eat the avocado face mask.

"What?" River asked. "She looks nice."

"Not sayin' she don't." Jayne reached in and caught Angel's hand that she was swinging around, trying to get someone's attention. He didn't worry about River biting his hand off or trying to kill him anymore. Angel seemed to like him, so River didn't mind. After all, he had helped. Now he was playing "Catch the Hand" with Angel, although it was hard to tell who was trying to catch whose hand. "It's just weird seein' a baby all prettified°."

"I was prettified as a baby."

"That's 'cause ya come from money."

Inara smiled at the exchange before turning back to Mal. "Did you happen to pick up the post?"

He cleared his throat. "I did indeed. Couple of letters for you, and a package. Jayne, got another letter here from your Ma. Didn't know you were from Ezra."

Jayne grunted, which could have been a yes or a no, and tore it open. Inside the envelope there were, in fact, two letters. One had his name written on the outside, and one said, "To the pielit." Jayne frowned. He shoved them both back inside.

"You're not gonna read it?" Kaylee asked.

"Later," he said. He folded the envelope and shoved it into his pocket. When he looked up, River was looking at him again. She'd done that the last time he'd gotten a letter, too. "What?"

She blinked, focusing her eyes, and looked up at him. "My parent's never sent me letters. I sent them letters, but they never answered. You are lucky to get letters from a mother who loves you. And she is kind to extend that warmth to someone she doesn't know. There are not many in the 'Verse that would do so."

He cleared his throat. "Yeah. She's somethin'. She always had a soft spot for strays."

"Jayne?" Mal asked. "She know somethin' I don't know?"

River grinned. "Is that a rhetorical question?"

"I—" Mal scowled back at his pilot. "That's not…You know what I…. Just get on the boat. All a'ya. Tired a'talkin' to ya."

"I love my Captain," River giggled as she passed him, and hoped he wouldn't mind. It always worked when Kaylee said it, after all.

He just waved her inside with mock-impatience.

"Oh! River! Don't forget your coat and scarf!" Kaylee jogged up behind her and threw an arm over her friend's shoulder. Together they walked back toward the passenger dorms.

Simon came out of the infirmary when he saw the two most important girls in the 'verse coming. Scratch that—_three_ most important girls. Angel was irresistible to all who encountered her. Sometimes Simon just had a hard time reconciling himself to the fact that he had a niece.

"How was shopping? The Captain wasn't too happy when I walked by him."

Kaylee released River so that she could go and slip her arms around Simon's middle. She wondered if she'd ever get enough of him. "Cap'n was just grumpy 'cause we were late. One of the lift-tubes broke down, an' we had to wait for one to open up before coming down to the docking bay. But shopping was fun! River got birthday presents. I chipped in."

Simon looked over at his sister, a smile etched into his face. "What did you get?"

"Coat. Scarf." She shook her head to send her hair flying. "Haircut. Angel got pretty, too."

She held the baby up for Simon to see. Her brother chuckled and reached out to tug on one of the curls. "She looks just like you did, River. Except for the purple nail polish. Mom always had them use pink on you."

"Angel is her own person," she replied, pulling the baby back against her hip. "If she wants purple or green or day-glow orange, that is what she will have."

"So she's making color choices now?"

"Maybe she is and you simply don't understand her," River pointed out. And then stuck out her tongue.

Simon and Kaylee laughed.

"Oh, yeah. I got you something, too, mei mei." Simon detangled himself from Kaylee and fetched the brown bag from a counter in the infirmary. "I hope you like it."

River took Angel over to the couch and sat down with her on her lap. Angel helped her pull the tissue paper out of the bag, and River reached in and felt two rectangles made of thick paper, and cool metal. Scrunching her brow, she pulled the rectangles out. The first held a silver ring in the shape of a butterfly. The circle that went around her finger was adjustable. The other rectangle had two holes punched in it, and dangling from them were a pair of butterfly earrings.

"You used to have a pair just like that when you were little," Simon said. "I thought I'd try and replace them. It's not real silver, even, but the posts are surgical steel, so they won't turn your ears green or anything. The ring's _luh suh_, but it reminded me of the one I bought you for your ninth birthday. Remember that? I think that one was a flower, though, not a butterfly."

"Yes, I remember it," she murmured.

Simon's face fell. "Do you not like them? Are they too little girly?"

"No," she tried to smile up at him, "it's not that. They're lovely. I don't know if my holes are still open or if I need to get my ears re-pierced."

He winced. "Right. Needles coming towards your head. I can see how that would trigger unpleasant memories."

"I actually wasn't thinking that, but thank you for reminding me." River glared at him.

Kaylee grabbed the sides of her head. "Ouch! I ain't never even had my ears pierced once. My Daddy wouldn't let me. Now it don't sound like fun at all!"

"I was still a baby when my mother had my ears pierced," River explained. "I don't remember." What made her hesitate about the gift was the thought that these were just another way for Simon to try and get his little sister back to the way she was. Back to the River that used to follow him around and think that there was no one in the whole universe she would rather spend her day with. If medication couldn't do it, perhaps jewelry could.

She sighed. Regardless of motive, it was a nice gift. River leaned forward and kissed Simon on the cheek. "Thank you for the gift, Simon. I'll go and see if I can still put them in."

River kissed Angel on the top of her head as she stood. The little girl had grabbed onto the earrings and was trying to maneuver them into her mouth. River pulled her hands away and dropped the jewelry into the bag again. As she stepped pasted Kaylee, she took the bag with her new coat and scarf in it, as well. She kissed Kaylee's cheek, and left her and Simon alone.

Although she could still hear the two of them talking, and feel the uncomfortable sadness that had descended on them, River did her best to block it out. It was easier after Miranda, but the excitement of the day must have heightened her awareness. Their worry was loud, and it echoed after them when they left for the engine room to prep for departure.

River set Angel down in her baby bed so that she could put away her gifts. After the coat and scarf were hung up, and the ring and earrings set safely in the cabinet above her bed, she got the baby out and laid her down on the floor to change her diaper.

"You were very good today," River told her as she unsnapped the legs of the lavender jumper. "Except when we were in the salon. But I believe that was because you wanted to get pretty, too. I think you must have inherited vanity from your father, whoever he is. I have never cared how I look. But you were good, and I wanted to let you know that I appreciate it."

Angel gurgled up at her. She seemed to have a lot to say on the matter of her behavior. River got that she was very excited about the things that she saw that day, and that she wondered where all of it went now that they were back home. She smiled down into her daughter's face and listened as she finished changing the diaper and snapping the jumper legs back up.

"Time to go fly the ship now," she told Angel, picking her up. "Dinner will be soon. That's good, I'm hungry. How about you?"

River climbed up to the bridge, and checked in with the Captain before she sent a WAVE to the docking crew to let them know that Serenity was disembarking. She set Angel down in the little play area next to the consol that Kaylee had rigged together then took her seat in the pilot's chair. When she received her all clear from the station crew, River and Kaylee fired the engines and pulled away from the Space Bazaar.

Not long after River set a course for Silverhold, a big pair of boots sounded on the stairs. Jayne coughed before he entered the cockpit to announce his presence, as if River didn't already know he was there. She turned around, and smiled to let him know it was alright that he come in.

He didn't hand her the letter right away. Instead he squatted down and talked at Angel for a few seconds. It was nice. Angel never made him feel like an idiot. Hell, because of her, he got to teach her genius ma a thing or two. Who else in the 'verse could say that?

"You could just pick her up, you know?" River pointed out. "Simon does. The Captain even does occasionally. You play with her more than them, but you never pick her up."

"Didn't know I was allowed to," he grumbled.

A beat of quiet passed, with Angel providing background noise. Jayne stood up and pulled the letter that his ma had written River out of his pocket. "Uh, here. Ma sent this for ya. You knew that, though."

"You wrote her about me—about the pilot with a baby," River amended. "Why?"

He shrugged. "Helpin' you reminded me of helpin' her is all. I mentioned it. Don't know why she decided to write to ya, though."

River took the letter, but didn't open it right away. "If you do not mind, I would like to respond to this letter. As I do not know your mother's posting address, could you send it with your next communication?"

"Yeah, sure."

She smiled up at him again. "Thank you."

He rumbled a non-verbal welcome and turned to leave. He bent down and rubbed a hand over Angel's head completely ruining her hairdo. Angel didn't mind. She bounced on her bottom and reached for his retreating hand.

River opened the letter. Jayne, surprisingly, hadn't snooped through the letter. The folds were all in the same position, and River couldn't feel any residual emotions off of the letter other than curiosity as to why his mother bothered to write to her.

_Dear miss pielit,_

_My boy rote to me about you and your baby girl. Jayne was always such a help with the little ones. He has a soft spot for them. If you ever need help with your baby you go to Jayne and he will help. I hav already told him that he is going to help so do not wory about bothering him._

_Jayne rote that you do not always know what you are doing with your baby and I wanted to tell you that this is not unusual for new mothers. I did not know what I was doing eether. If I had known, I wud not have put the name JANE down on the birth certificat before the baby was born and it turned out he was a boy. Do not tell him I told you that. He wud not like anyone knowing I thot he was a girl before he was born. Still I tried to make up for it by adding a Y and giving him 2 middle names. I hope it helped._

_As for taking care of a baby, it is important to remember to not wory about every little thing. Babys are very willing to forgive your mistakes. They love you back no matter what you do so long as you love them and take care of them. Do not be scared to let her fall down. All babys do. Try not to rush over the minit she starts crying. Give her a chance to calm herself down. Do not treat a child like an idiot. They know more than grown peepl think they do. And do not feel bad if you get a little upset with her every now and again. A switch to the backside is not to harsh a punishment if it fits the crime._

_If you ever need another mother's opinion, you can always have Jayne rite to me and ask._

_Love,_

_Rosemary Cobb_

&&&

Later that night, Jayne looked over his letter from home for maybe the dozenth time. He had only mentioned River and Angel because he had just helped with the tooth thing. If he had a chance to go back and do it over again, he wouldn't have said anything. Now his Ma was getting on him about how he needed to help River out with Angel if she ever needed it.

_I can alredy see that face you are making Jayne Andrew Thomas Cobb, so wipe it off. I am not asking you to marry the girl to make an honest woman of her. I just want you to look out for them and give the pielit a hand when she needs one._

And if that weren't bad enough, she finished the letter by harping about how he was thirty-five now, and when was he going to settle down and give her some grandkids? It was times like this that Jayne remembered why he avoided home.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

I looked up the name "Inara" and found out that it is Arabic. It means "Gift from Heaven" or "Heaven sent." Going off of that, I looked up the Arabic word for "river" and found that it is NAHR according to http/ However, it's a masculine noun, so I looked up feminine nouns, most of which have a TA ending, so I took some non-grammatically correct liberties with a language I don't know and got Nahrta, female river.

° According to my Microsoft Word spell-check dictionary and thesaurus, "PRITTIFY" is a real word. I thought I'd share that because I found it funny.

_luh suh_—garbage


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

Angel screeched with laughter as she flew up through the air then plummeted down into waiting hands. She barely breathed she was laughing so hard. A second later, she was soaring again.

River put her hands over her eyes, and peered through her fingers as her daughter was tossed toward the ceiling. "Put her down!"

"Why?" Jayne asked as Angel returned to his grasp and he thrust her back into the air. "She's havin' fun."

And she was. Angel was certain in her one-year-old mind that there was nothing as fun as this. In fact, most of the time Angel spent with Her Friend was fun. Catch the Hand had gotten boring, but Friend had let her sit on his lap while he played the game with the cards that she wasn't supposed to grab and wave around and show the other people with cards, but she did anyway because Friend made funny rumbling noises and poked her in the sides to make her laugh. Or Dino-Bowling off the high-walk which the Tall Lady didn't like them playing. That was fun, too. Angel kept asking her mother if she could keep Friend, but Momma never seemed to understand, and Friend always went the other direction when it was time for naps and beddy. Luckily, Angel always got to see him the next day.

Today, for instance, she got to see Friend during breakfast. Momma had asked the Happy Lady to feed her while she went to the window room and landed the home. Friend came in when she was almost done with her cereal and talked with Happy Lady. Angel hadn't understood most of it, but she did know some words. She understood "job" was what happened when Friend, Tall Lady, and Loud Man went away for a while, and when they came back some of them had to go and see Momma-Mei-Mei Man (she really needed a new name for him) in the white room that smelled funny.

Angel had also heard her name and "be good."

River was worried all that morning. She mostly didn't go out on jobs due to her duties as getaway driver. Since Angel arrived, River hadn't gone out on any jobs at all. This was the first time that River would be going on a job since Angel arrived. The folks they were dealing with on Ares were not the most trustworthy of folk, and Mal wanted his resident Reader on the job to warn of any imminent betrayal. The baby would be staying on _Serenity_ with Kaylee, Inara, and Simon. This did not sit well with the new mother, so she spent the last minutes before the job with her daughter while the Captain and Jayne took down the Mule from it's hanger.

River was swinging Angel around at the end of her arms in a corner of the bay when Jayne called over, "That ain't flyin'."

River cocked her head at him and gave her arms a chance to rest. "Explain."

Jayne took his work gloves off as he walked over to the two girls. He plucked Angel from River's arms, stepped back, and threw the little girl upwards into the air. For a second, Angel hovered before descending back again. River protested, Jayne ignored, and Angel laughed.

River squealed another objection. "You are going to drop her!"

"Not gonna drop her," Jayne protested.

"Going to have brain damage! Shaken Baby Syndrome!"

"I ain't shakin' her. I'm tossin' her."

"Same thing."

Seeing River so agitated, Jayne brought Angel back to rest against his chest for a minute before he handed her back to her mother. Angel made a face and tried to turn back to Jayne, but River held her daughter close. "No more flying without the proper safety equipment. Helmet. Pads. Harness and bungee cord."

"Oh, it ain't that bad."

"She is already stunted. I do not want it to get worse because her brain is shredded."

Jayne frowned, and looked the baby over. "Whatta ya mean? Seems fine to me."

"Angel is one year old, and she has yet to speak," River explained. "All of the manuals I've read say that by one year of age, a baby should be saying simple words. Angel has yet to say anything readily recognizable as a word in either English or Mandarin."

"She ain't stunted," Jayne argued. "She's just waitin' 'til she's got somethin' important to say. Ain'tcha?"

Angel babbled and tried very hard to make a coherent sentence, but her message was lost to the adults. Her little face squished up in annoyance and she shook her head no.

"See?" River panicked. "Even she agrees that she's stunted!"

"If she was stunted then she wouldn't understand the question enough to shake her head."

"Hey, you two!" Mal called over. "We goin' some time today?"

"Stop worryin' so much," Jayne muttered to River. He ran a hand over Angel's head before walking over to the Mule.

River sighed and walked Angel over to Inara who had come down to wish the crew luck. The baby was whining when she handed her over. When Inara asked what was wrong, River answered, "Wants to keep flying, but I do not approve of Jayne's method."

Inara smiled a little. It was quite a surprise when Jayne had taken an interest in Angel. True, it was impossible to ignore the only baby on board. But Jayne was…well, Jayne. One really didn't expect him to get sentimental about things like this, so when he had started picking Angel up and playing with her a month ago, it had come as a surprise. He was asked more than once what happened to the real Jayne Cobb.

And being around Angel more meant that Jayne was socializing more with River. They talked sometimes at the table in the mess or in the common room. From what the rest of the crew overheard, none of the conversations were particularly 'Verse-shattering or deep. Mostly they talked about the next job, a new letter Jayne or River received from Jayne's mother, and of course about Angel. At dinner, they sat on the same side of the table with Angel in her high chair between them. Once, when River reached over to steal the last roll off of Jayne's plate, he made a remark that she was setting a bad example—mostly because he didn't like her stealing his food than an actual concern for the baby's morals. Much to the crew's surprise, River gave the roll back, and explained to Angel that stealing from friends wasn't nice. Jayne was publicly elevated to friend status.

Jayne seemed to be taking that status seriously. He hadn't called River names in a long while. He still didn't use her name often, and occasionally mumbled "Virgin Mary" under his breath, but he had stopped referring to her as "the crazy girl" or "moonbrain."

Inara watched River walk over to the Mule. Jayne reached a hand down and helped her pull herself into the back seat. The mercenary handed her a knife which she stowed in her combat boot in case the fighting got real close and personal. Inara and Angel waved as the four crew members drove off.

"Come on, Angel. The Captain has graciously allowed me to contact a former client to see if I can bring _Serenity_ a job while I'm on sabbatical. You can help me look through the registrar. You're mother tells me that you are very good at helping her decide things. And later we can have a tea party."

&&&

"_Da-shiong bao-jah-shr duh la-doo-tze!" _

Mal and Jayne fired again at the clump of rocks three of the five back-stabbing gao yang zhong de gu yang. The other two had taken the cargo and high-tailed it out of there, trusting the remaining members of the gang to take care of the crew. After all, it was three to three—plus the little waif.

Zoë and River were hunkered down behind the Mule while the men were pressed against the side of a rock spire. Zoë got off two shots before sinking back to the ground as another round of bullets passed by where her head had been.

"One one-thousand, two one-thousand…." River counted. Counted the space when no one moved. Counted the time it took for one of the enemy guns to fire. The first was to the left: a Winchester Super X3 Composite rifle. She had to take him out first. The next shot came from the far right. A .38 Special revolver, and in the middle was good old fashioned Colt .45.

River leaned over and told Zoë, "Aim left and middle. Especially left. Leave the one on the right for questioning. Wait 'til I say, then shoot."

Zoë nodded, and signaled to Mal and Jayne.

There was rustling in the gritty dirt when a return volley from the crew didn't come. River waited. They'll get curious first, then worried, then cocky. Have to wait until they feel like they are winning.

One minute passed. Then two. Two point five. "Now."

The three crew members moved clear of their covers and fired. Yelps and the sound of falling came before shots were returned, but now it was only two guns that fired. The rifleman was taken out. A second later, the man with the Colt went down, and the remaining bandit tried to make a run for it. Jayne shot him in the calf.

The crew moved from behind their covers. Mal strode over to the wounded bandit, and kicked the man's pistol away. Mal hauled him into a kneeling position. Jayne went back to the Mule, and got the cord they had used to secure the cargo. He tossed it to Mal. The Captain tied the guy's hands behind his back, and held his own revolver up to the young man's head. "Where the hell'd those partners of yours go with my cargo?"

"I'm not tellin' you a thing." The man spit at Mal.

Mal cocked his gun to show his seriousness. River walked up to her captain's side, and tilted her head to the side as she looked at, into, through the grimy man that knelt before her. Mal looked at his little witch and hoped that she was Reading the location of where the bandits had taken their cargo. River smiled at the man, stepping forward, and waved the captain back a few feet. Mal frowned, but backed off like asked.

"I know what you're afraid of," she told the man.

"Jian ta de gui!"

"Ni gai si," River said, ignoring his outburst. "And I know how you do not wish to die. How you are afraid to die."

The bandit licked his lips and watched as the pretty girl who looked about as dangerous a pixie knelt in front of him. She leaned her face in close to meet his muddy brown eyes. When she spoke again it was quiet enough that her crew members couldn't hear, but he understood every word perfectly.

"You heard it once in a bar. Guy talk. Telling stories to fright one another; see who's the bigger man. Urban legend, rural legend." She scooted closer so that she rested between his spread knees, her hands coming to rest on his thighs. The bandit moaned a little as she pushed down on his bullet wound. "You liked being tied up. You thought, this is a story to go home and imagine over and over. You licked your lips when the story started, and she had him tied to a bed."

The girl went up on her knees so that she had a small height advantage. She used it to bend over him, her hair falling in a curtain to hide them from the men and woman at her back. "She had that poor son of a bitch tied down, worked up, jerked off, sucked on—got him so excited his little pricker was a steel beam pointing toward the ceiling."

He whimpered, knowing what came next. River pulled the long knife Jayne gave her out of her boot. She ran the edge up the inside of one of the man's thighs, ran the point down the other, and reversed her path.

"Then _whap_! Pulled a knife and sliced it off, balls and all." River laid the edge of the blade against the side of his groin and pressed it in with a roll of her hips. Her free hand moved up his thigh to play with the buttons on his crotch. "She cut both femoral arteries, too. Did you know you can bleed to death in approximately twenty minutes when one of those arteries is cut? With both severed, one would expect that time to be cut in half."

"God, please don't," the man begged. "Wo de ma, oh, God, oh _please_! Don't let her!"

Mal stepped up to try and get River to back off. He couldn't tell what she was saying, but they didn't need him so scared he couldn't think straight. River held her hand up to stop the Captain's approach.

"Shhhhh…" River murmured, placing the hand she'd stilled Mal with on the bandit's cheek. "They're not going to stop me. It's not their fault that you are where you are now. It is your fault. You and your friends. You took our cargo without paying for it. That's theft. Possession is nine-tenths of the law, and you broke it. Tell us where your partners went."

The bandit whined and tried to scoot away from her.

"Don't squirm!" She leaned in harder on the knife.

"Shit! Jesus! Please! They—they went th-that…." He pointed off into a little valley.

"That way?" River asked. He nodded. "Mouth of the valley. A little cave?"

"Yes. Yes. Please don't."

River slipped the knife back into her boot, and stood. She bent at the waist and kissed the bandit's cheek. "Good boy." Rivers reached out and snapped his neck, letting his body fall to the ground and raise a fine cloud of dust.

"There is a cave at the mouth of the valley," she said over her shoulder as she brushed off her knees. "Ali Baba's cave, filled with treasure. More than just what they stole from us. Busy thieving bees." She stepped back from the body and turned around to face her three crew members.

Zoë was stone faced to cover her discomfort at River's interrogation technique. Or perhaps it was what she did with her informant afterwards. Not that she disagreed with the killing, and not that she hadn't seen much worse, but it was so coldhearted coming from the girl.

Jayne's mouth was open a bit as he stared at her. In his mind the statue of the Virgin Mary from a Catholic church he'd gone to once just jumped down from her pedestal, took off that long, white robe to reveal a pair of black shorts, flowered shirt, and combat boots, and proceeded to kick the asses of all the sinners in the 'Verse.

Mal shook his head. He'd gone all speechless when River pulled out that knife and started grazing that man with it. Just when he thought he got a pin on River's abilities and her willingness to use them, she turned around and threw him another curve. Girl may just have it in her to go all the way with a torture if'n she ever has a need to. He really did not want to be around on that day.

He cleared his throat. "Little Albatross, I don't think ya had to kill him like that."

"You were going to shoot him," she said. "Where is the difference in my method of disposal and yours? Either way he is dead. And my way has less clean-up. He can be returned to his family to be buried with his face intact."

Jayne nodded, fighting some kind of weird double vision when he looked at River.

"Sir?" Zoë spoke up. She mentally shook off the mind-torture, and focused on the job. "We should go and get our cargo. We'll probably have room to take some of whatever else is in that cave, too."

Mal closed his eyes, and scratched his forehead. He nodded. "Back on the Mule. Let's go get our ore."

Zoë climbed into the driver's seat. Mal came around to the front passenger seat, and resettled his duster as he sat. Jayne climbed in back and watched River hop up. It occurred to him after a second that he should have helped her up again. When Zoë started the Mule up, River pulled on her goggles, and stared off into the landscape.

Jayne kept looking at her funny. River glanced over. He switched his eyes to another focus. The wind was too loud as they flew through the valley for her to talk to him without Mal or Zoë hearing. She wanted to talk to him, too. He wasn't scared—creepified, yes, but not scared. His mind was all jumbled, though. Hard to read. He was starting to give her a headache.

The rest of the job went quickly. They parked the Mule away from the mouth of the cave so that the bandits wouldn't hear them coming. Mal, Jayne, and Zoë went to the cave, fired off a total of seven shots, and went to get the cargo along with a few bonuses. River stayed with the Mule once she assured the crew that there were only two men in the cave. After the cargo was reloaded, they headed back to _Serenity_ to find a new buyer for the copper ore. Zoë suggested the new Whitefall contact, Dukes. He was less likely to take a shot at Mal.

As soon as the Mule landed in the cargo bay, River jumped down and headed for the bridge. She didn't want to be around Zoë or Mal's discomfort over what she had done to get the location of the cave, and Jayne's confusion was giving her a headache. On the bridge, she paged Inara to ask if she'd bring Angel up to her while she prepped for take off.

Inara entered the cock pit with Angel on her hip and found River curled up in the pilot's chair. "Sweetie, what's wrong? Did something happen on the job today? Is everyone alright?" She looked back down the hall, fearing for Mal.

"He's fine," River reassured her. "We got double crossed again. Duplicitous buyers connived to take the ore and dispose of the bringers. They were shot. Captain was grazed. He's cranky now."

"I bet he is," Inara chuckled.

River held her hands out for the baby, and Angel leaned down to switch embraces. Once Angel was in River's arms, Inara went to see how badly Mal got hurt this time, and where he was planning on selling the ore now. River settled back in the comfy seat, and hugged her daughter tightly. She forced a smile for the girl. "Hello, Angel. Did you miss me?"

Angel babbled about all that she had done that day with Very Pretty Lady in the Red Room. River listened with only half an ear. Her mind was still back on the job. She had scared them again. She was morbid and creepifying, and the Captain obviously did mind it. She was just trying to help. And it worked. The man wouldn't have ratted out his partners for anything less than a horrific death. Guns didn't scare him—they provided a quick death. To have his genitalia cut off while unable to stop it, that he was afraid of. It made sense to use that fear against him. And you never leave a torture victim alive. The Captain should know that from his time with Niska. If the little man had let Mal stay dead, he would not have been beaten and threatened.

While Angel continued to chatter at her, River kissed her head. She took a breath, and set her feet back on the floor. At the Captain's word that the Mule was up, and the doors were closed, River fired the ship up, and headed back into the Black.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

_Da-shiong bao-jah-shr duh la-doo-tze_ -explosivediarrhea of an elephant

_gao yang zhong de gu yang – _motherless goats of all motherless goats

_jian ta de gui_—like hell

_ni gai si_—you deserve death


	8. Chapter 8

Title: Chapter 8 Series Title: Angel Author: crazywriterchic Disclaimer: Joss is Boss Rating: PG Spoilers: Series, BDM

CHAPTER 8

A week after the copper ore job on Ares, Jayne's double vision was still there in full force whenever he looked at River. She could be sitting with Angel, quiet and normal-looking, and he'd think, 'Looks just like the ruttin' Virgin Mary.' And the next minute he started thinking about what she looked like when she was interrogating that sumbitch cargo thief. He had not known she could move her hips like that. And that thought led to worse places, and he had to get to thinking on something else right quick before he started staring in earnest, or River overheard his thoughts.

Though she hadn't been looking, nor had she even wanted to know what Jayne was thinking those times in the last week that he had zoned out on her, River heard. She didn't quite know what to do with those thoughts. Any of the thoughts about her, really. There were several versions floating around his head. She did not know which to prefer.

Was it the tension from the last job, or the anxiety about the upcoming one that had the crew thinking so loudly? River wondered. Whatever the cause, she was hearing too much. It had been so quiet in her head for so long, no intruding thoughts unless they were too strong to ignore, that the resumed volume pressed down on her skull. She couldn't think, couldn't concentrate. She needed to be alone for a while.

"Jayne?"

He looked up from his task of arranging his guns on the table in the mess now that dinner was over and the room cleared. "Hm?"

"Would you watch Angel for a little while? I need—" She reached up and rubbed her forehead with the hand that wasn't busy holding Angel. "There are some things I have to do, and I can't do them and watch her at the same time. Would you? Just for a bit?"

Her eyes were clouded and pinched at the corners. Her skin was paler than usual. And there was a little crease between her brows.

Jayne frowned. "Yeah, I'll watch her. Sure you wanna leave her with me, though? Kaylee's—"

"Kaylee is working on the G-line," River interrupted. "Very delicate, unless you want to be floating around Serenity, and me not to be able to steer. Simon is doing inventory, Mal is doing math about fuel costs, food costs, maintenance, and pay cuts, and Inara is speaking with Zoë about Wash."

"Looks like I'm the last option, huh?" he grunted, feeling something that was akin to disappointment.

"No, just explaining that there is no one else free for the job should I choose to go ask them," she clarified.

"Oh." He glanced up, then back to his guns. "Sure, I'll watch her."

"Thank you." River sighed, and put Angel into her high chair. She went over to the pantry and got out some cereal O's and a stick of the pungent Zwieback bread sticks that River had read that babies were supposed to have when they began teething. The things reeked, but Angel seemed to enjoy them. Once the breadstick and O's were placed on the tray of the high chair, River leaned down to kiss the little girl's forehead, and stepped away from the table.

"I'll collect her in an hour," she told Jayne with a tight smile, the edges not able to pull upwards as they usually did.

Jayne reached out and grabbed her wrist to stop her departure. River tilted her head to the side to look over her shoulder at him. One brow rose to ask what he wanted.

"You sure you're all right?"

River's smile came a little easier this time. She rotated her wrist in his light grasp so that she could take hold of his wrist in turn. She squeezed softly to reassure him. "She's fine. Just a little headache."

He let her go, feeling her slim, cool hand slide out through his big, meaty one. When the pilot was out of earshot, he turned to Angel and asked, "She does know they ain't takin' you away if'n she gets a cold, right?"

"Guf ma doostngurtf. Ferbur dimpem vsstoth," Angel responded.

"Yeah, she's stubborn." Jayne picked up the first of his guns and began disassembling her. "Fer someone as smart as yer ma is, an' a reader to boot, you'd think she'd know the Cap wouldn' do that."

"Durg tust wombupnah."

Jayne looked up at the baby. "Ya want me to watch out for her? Make sure she don't run herself ragged?"

Angel leaned forward in her chair and said, very seriously, "Habnuxtifugle." Then she smiled and held her partially gnawed on bread stick to him. "Guh?"

"No thanks. You keep it. I'll take one'a the O's, though." He reached over and snatched one of the cereal pieces from her tray, laughing when she did. "Wanna learn my guns? This one I'm cleanin' is Mary Lou. She's a Derringer, only holds a handful'a bullets. But if'n you got a clear shot, one's all you'll need. Goes in like a pea, comes out like a pie."

The next half hour passed in amiable company between the big man and the tiny not-quite-toddler. Jayne introduced Angel to all of his guns. He told her the make and model of each, what kind of ammunition they held, and even pointed out his own customizations. It was nice having an audience who listened to him and didn't remark on how weird it was for a grown man to name his guns like they were teddy bears.

All Angel did was coo and jabber on in baby-speak. A few time it sounded like words, but weren't quite. She was getting closer, though.

Jayne grinned as he lifted the last gun closer to him and began to break her down. "And lastly, this one is Vera. She's my favorite. Callahan full-bore auto lock. Double cartridge thorough gage. I customized the trigger 'cause the original was too stiff. Not that I want her goin' off at a touch, but I need her to shoot when I want her too, not a second or two after."

Angel gurgled, her mouth making, "guh-guh" noises, along with a few "ffithruhgs."

She was trying so hard. Jayne hoped she got out a word soon so River would stop fretting over whether or not her baby was stunted. How could the genetically engineered daughter of a genius be stunted?

Oh, no. Jayne paused in screwing the barrel back on Vera. If the doctors at the Academy really changed Angel to be even better than her ma, how were they going to deal with the girl when she started walking? She'd be everywhere, and asking questions all the time, and who knew what she would get herself into. They were going to need to get Angel a bell to wear around her neck.

He shook his head, and finished reassembling his very favorite gun. "And that's it. Say bu-bye to Vera now, Angel."

"Fee-tha."

He froze. Jayne looked up at the baby in the highchair, just grinning away, and scrunched his eyes in attempt to make sure he heard right. "Did you just say…?"

Jayne lifted Vera up slightly.

"Fee-tha!"

Jayne couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face. "You just said Vera!"

"Feetha," Angel reiterated with a nod. She clapped her hands and repeated the name of Jayne's gun over and over while he sat back in his seat and laughed.

After the first shock, Jayne jumped up and strode over to the hatch leading up to the bridge. "Hey! Girl—er, River! You gotta come down here an' hear this!"

River lifted her head from her drawn-up knees when she heard Jayne call. She had to put her head down a while ago because of the pounding in her temples, but if something had happened to Angel, she needed to go see what it was. River pushed herself out of the pilot's seat and down the stairs to the galley where Jayne stood smiling.

"What happened?"

"Angel said her first word! See? Told ya she weren't stunted."

A smile bloomed on River's face from behind the wall of her migrain. "She said her first word?"

Jayne nodded. Bootsteps sounded on the stairs at the other end of the mess, and Kaylee and Mal stepped into the room.

"What the hell's goin' on?" Mal asked. "Somethin' wrong with the kid?"

"Angel said her first word," River answered. She turned to her daughter and waited to see what she said.

Kaylee squealed. "Really? Oh, what'd she say? My first work was 'cake'. What was yours?"

"Mine was 'cow' if I recall my momma's stories correctly," Mal answered, a smile grown on his face, as well.

"Mine was 'nose'," Jayne said.

They all looked at River. She shrugged. "I didn't have a first word. I had a first sentense. I told Simon that his shoes were tied wrong. What did Angel say?"

Jayne grinned. "Watch this." He held up his favorite gun and nodded to Angel. "Go for it."

"Feetha!"

The captain's, Kaylee's, and River's mouths dropped. "Did she just say...?"

Jayne nodded. "She said Vera!"

"Feetha! Feetha, Feetha, Feetha, Feetha."

Kaylee smacked her hand over her mouth to hold in the giggles. Mal pinched the bridge of his nose, and shook his head. "I don't believe it. I don't ruttin' believe it."

Jayne looked to River, expecting her to be happy that Angel had said her first word and that she could stop worrying about the girl--the little girl being mentally stunted. Instead, River was standing still, shaking her head.

"She said Vera?"

"Yeah."

"Her first word...was Vera."

"Uh...yes?" Jayne shrgged. He didn't see the problem here.

River shook her head one last time, her mouth setting in a hard line, and she walked forward to release Angel from her high chair. All the while, she mumbled, "Vera. Her first word was Vera. Perfect. Lovily. My own fault, really. Reader. Should have seen this coming."

"Hey, what's your problem?" Jayne stepped over to her, and grabbed hold of her wrist. "Though you wanted me to watch her?"

"That was before you corrupted her," she snapped.

Kaylee gave Mal an "I'm not staying around for this" look and headed in the opposite direction of River and Jayne. Mal stayed behind to make sure neither of his crew did bodily harm to the other while innocent eyes were present.

Jayne sputtered. "Corrupted? What the hell's that mean? I ain't corrupted nobody!"

"First words are supposed to be 'cake,' or 'cow,' or 'nose,' or 'ship,' or 'Teddy,' or--or...'momma!' Not the name of your favorite gun!"

"It ain't like I was tryin' to get her to say it!" he defended himself. "Shit, had I know'd you were gonna be so techy about it, I wouldn't'a called ya down to hear her. I thought you'd be happy to hear she said her first word."

"Any other word." She unbuckled Angel, and swung the girl up into her arms. "Angel, I think you and Jayne need to spend less time together."

Mal couldn't disagree with that statement as he was a big proponant of Jayne spending less time with the both of them, but he didn't want this fight to escallate to the point were his two scariest fighters were refusing to work with each other. "Okay, now. Jayne?"

The merc glowered over at him. "I ain't done nothin'!"

"Didn't say you did. I just don't want you threatenin' my pilot," Mal said. "Lil' Albatross, you head on up to the bridge with Angel and stop bickerin' with my mercinary."

"That was my plan, Captain," River snapped. "You stole it."

The Captain's eyebrows raised. "And you are gettin' a might snippy." He looked the girl over, and frowned. "You feelin' alright? You look a little peeked."

"I'm fine. Just a headache."

"Which is why I was watchin' Angel in the first place," Jayne grumbled.

"Changed my mind."

Jayne was about to say something else, but Mal cut him off. "Little Witch, go. Jayne, take a gorram seat and finish cleanin' your guns."

River spun away, and charged up the stairs to the bridge. Jayne huffed at her back. He mumbled under his breath about River still being crazy, about how unfair that eveybody always assumed the worst of him, and that he was done taking care of that girl--Angel if'n this was the thanks he got.

Mal rubbed the bridge of his nose, and headed back out of the mess. He honestly couldn't figure the two of them out. First they seemed like they was getting to be friends, were getting, in fact, scarily close it seemed to him, and then they were fighting in the kitchen. After weeks of quiet, maybe it was just time for the next crew blow-up.

Jayne put Vera back down on the long towel he'd spread out on the table along with his other guns. He'd just finished with them when Angel had started talking and he'd called River down to hear, so with jerky, angry movements, he carefully rolled his guns up in the cloth, biggest to smallest, so that he could carry them back down to his bunk. He settled the roll under his arm and collected the oil and cleaning brushes. Still wearing the scowl that little crazy girl had given him, Jayne stomped out of the galley, and headed toward the his bunk.

He kicked open the hatch, stepped on the first rung, but stopped there. With a glare up to the bridge, he stepped back and headed up the small flight of stairs making sure that his footsteps were as loud as possible so that they pounded in River's headachey skull.

River gritted her teeth and tried to check Serenity's course setting so that they arrrived on Persephone in two days to meet with Badger while keeping a squirming, whining Angel in her lap. The baby was having fun in the galley with Jayne, and she did not like the change of scenery, especially with her mother not being in a playing mood. When Jayne's heavy steps sounded on the stairs, River wanted to scream and throw one of the dinosaurs at his head.

"What now? You've decided to take Angel out drinking?" River accused. Angel twisted in her arms to look back at the mercinary.

"Ya know," Jayne growled, "just 'cause she didn' say 'mama' first don't mean she don't know who you are."

"I know."

"Do ya? 'Cause it looks like your makin' an awful big fuss over nothin', and blamin' me for it, to boot."

River made a low, pained sound in her throat. Jayne's anger and frustration battered her brain, while Angel's confusion over her mother's actions, along with the baby's want to go play with her friend, created a wish-washing queazy feeling in her stomach.

"Go away," River begged. "Don't want to talk to you righ now. I have a rutting migrain, so would you please just go the hell away!"

"Fine," he grunted. "Do what'cha want. I don't give a good gorram."

He turned and stormed back down into his bunk locking most of his emotions in with him. River sighed with the marginal relief of distance between herself and Jayne's anger, but the thundering headache remained. Angel whimpered when Jayne's hatch slammed behind him, and River's resolve to make it through the rest of the day broke.

"I think we need to go to bed early tonight, don't you?" she asked Angel as she set the auto-pilot. "That's a rhetorical question. We're going to bed whether you think it's a good idea or not, unfortunately. I'll find Mal and tell him that he needs to put Serenity to sleep tonight. Then, off to bed for us. Sleep is regenerative, and I'm sure we'll be better tomorrow." River rubbed her temple. "I'll feel better tomorrow."

Once auto-pilot was set, River stood and secured Angel on her hip. She headed for the engine room, where she knew Kaylee was still fiddling with the environmental controls, and asked that she tell the Captain that he needed to do the final power-down that night. Kaylee, of course, said that she would. After answering her friend that, yes, she was fine, River took Angel down to bed. 


	9. Chapter 9

Title: Chapter 9

Series: Angel

Author: crazywriterchic

Rating: PG-13, rated for language

Spoilers: series, BDM

_First thing in the ruttin' morning, Mal has me luggin' boxes around the gorram cargo bay_, Jayne grumbled internally.

The only thing that kept him from griping out loud was that Mal was hauling boxes with him. The Captain had come into the mess, interrupted Jayne's morning coffee, and told him that they needed to clear some space for the cargo Badger was arranging for them to carry out to Paquin.

"What the hell're we carryin' that we gotta move all these crates to the walls for, huh?"

Mal grunted as he set down his side of the long crate he and Jayne had just settled against the bulkhead. "Badger said it was artsy stuff. I didn't ask him to clarify. Less we know, the better."

Jayne huffed and moved over to another crate.

Mal looked the man over and shook his head. "So, have you seen our Li'l Albatross this morning? She's usually up on the bridge before I am."

"Don't look at me, I ain't her gorram keeper," Jayne growled. "Go ask that brother of hers."

"So, I see you two didn't make up after I left the mess yesterday," Mal pointed out.

"Don't see what her problem is. I was doin' her a favor. But if she don't want me 'round Angel anymore, that's just fine. I was gettin' sick of always lookin' out for that girl, anyway."

"Which one?"

"Both of 'em!"

Jayne glanced over, then turned away quickly when he saw that Mal wasn't buying it. Jayne didn't see why Mal wouldn't believe him. Did he look like a gorram babysitter? Just because he'd felt sorry for the girl that once and helped her out, suddenly River thought that she could just leave Angel with him any old time. Well, to hell with that.

A loud thump and the Doctor's shout of pain burst into the cargo bay from the passenger dorms. It was followed by the sound of Angel's crying. Mal and Jayne shared a look and hurried down to see what was what.

Simon stood outside his sister's door with a hand held up to the side of his head. Through the open door, they could see Angel standing up in her bed, holding onto the top railing, and having her cries go unanswered.

"What in the name of Hell's ass-crack is goin' on?" Mal demanded.

Simon jumped at Mal's shout and spun to face the two oncoming men. "I thought it was getting late, River is usually up by this time. When I came by, I heard that Angel was already up, so I opened the door. River threw a shoe at me."

"Goddamn sonofabitch, you deserved it!" River screeched. "Coming in here like you have the right—you don't have the right! It's my head, my mind, my sanctuary, and I never sent out invitations. Your RSVP is fraudulent!"

Mal leaned over a bit to find River curled up at the top of her bed. Her arms hugged her head, and she rocked back and forth. It was a flashback to all of those times before Miranda when River had her off days. Some were quiet, as Simon had caught her early and doped her. Others were loud with River's screaming echoing off the bulkheads from the bridge to the engine room. And some of those days had been down-right violent. Releasing a long sigh, Mal wonder which of those today would be.

"Lil' Albatross?" he called in.

His answer was a stream of incoherent mumbling. After a moment, the mumbling clarified into, "Rutting bastards. Can't just leave Snow White alone. Cook our dinner, clean the bathroom, don't mind the shovels and pick-axes we shove in your skull."

Mal rubbed a hand across his forehead before turning back to look at the Doctor. "Thought you said she was better."

"I thought she was," Simon murmured.

Jayne leaned forward to look in the room. He saw River curled up on her bed and rocking, looking as crazy as she ever was. He knew he couldn't do a thing about that—fixing the crazy girl was the Doc's job. Jayne moved his attention over to Angel, clutching the side of her crib and wailing in wordless monotone.

He glanced back at the two men behind him. They were going through the same speech they had every time River had a bad day. It was predictable, and sounded nearly rehearsed at this point. Jayne wondered if they ever thought about asking some new questions. With a huff, he stepped into the room.

Simon caught the mercenary's movement out of the corner of his eye, and turned to warn him. "Jayne, I wouldn't!"

As usual, Jayne ignored him. He went over to Angel and murmured to her so that she would calm down some. Angel babbled to him and reached out for Jayne to pick her up. Before he would, though, he looked over at the bed. River still sat and rocked. She looked like a cornered animal scared out of its wits and ready to attack.

"Hey, River-girl."

Her glassy eyes darted up to meet his. Jayne held both his hands up in front of him to show he meant no harm. He treated her exactly like the frightened predator she was. "It's okay. Nobody's gonna hurt ya."

"Qing wa cao de liu mang!"

"Pointin' that out ain't news to nobody, girl," Jayne told her.

"Ben tian sheng de yi dui rou, only reason you're here is because your mother told you to look after the helpless little girls," River hissed at him.

Jayne gritted his teeth. "That she did. Now, you gonna let me help ya or not?"

"Kuai qu hen-rien de di fang, useless, worthless, pussy of a mama's boy!"

Outside the room, Simon paled. Even he wouldn't have recommended calling Jayne something like that. "River! That was... You shouldn't say things like that."

Mal kept his eyes on Jayne. The man did not like to be called any of the colorful names that the girl had been hurling at him. That last one was way below the belt, and the Captain was worried that his hired gun would react the way he normally did when language like that was used to describe him.

Jayne's nostrils flared as he took a deep breath to keep from going over there and doing something stupid. He knew he couldn't take her on a good day, and with River feeling like everyone on the ship was a threat, there was no way she would hesitate to take him down. If he tried to rush her, he'd be lucky if he got off with a concussion. He made sure his hands stayed splayed at his sides, and took slow breaths to calm down. It was a few moments before he had his temper under enough control to notice that River had buried her face into the mattress and was pulling at her hair like she wanted to rip it from her scalp. He could hear her voice, but he couldn't make out what she was saying.

River squeezed her arms around her head trying to block the waves of thoughts and colors that came at her from the other crew members. Sickly yellow worry oozed off of the three men. Deep red spiked and swirled around Jayne at the names she called him turning the air around him a vomit-shaded orange. Angel cried in indigo confusion and lime green fear, and no matter what River did, she couldn't stop it from seeping into her.

She didn't even realize she was rocking. Back and forth. Back and forth. Rock-a-bye baby. "In the tree top. When the wind blows, the cradle will rock..."

Jayne leaned forward. Was she singing? She _was_ singing.

Mal stepped into the room. His brows creased, and he looked over at Jayne. "Is that Rock-a-bye Baby she's singin'?"

"Think so."

River tilted her chin up so that she could look through her hair at the two intruders. Her voice and rocking stopped as the Captain hesitantly stepped forward, hands raised.

"River? How 'bout I take Angel up to 'Nara to watch today? That way you can get some re—"

Her fist swung out and clipped Mal in the jaw. The Captain stumbled back. Jayne took the two steps forward as soon as he saw River's hand move and grabbed her wrist as she tried to pull her hand back. Simon rushed in a beat later and went to Mal to check for injuries. Half his breath was used to apologize for River, the other to try to calm her.

River bared her teeth at Jayne and twisted to release her arm from his grasp. He compensated, squeezing down on her tendons to force her hand to go loose. When she brought her other fist up and aimed for his arm, he caught that one, too. A quick, almost dance-like turn spun River around so that her feet were toward the wall and her arms were crossed in front of her. Jayne hugged her tight to his chest so that she wouldn't get another shot at hurting him.

"Calm the hell down, girl!" he growled in her ear. Her response was a wordless scream. River planted her feet on the bed, and arched her back to try and get away. Jayne held on, and tried not to do what his instincts were telling him to and hurt her to get her to stop.

Mal glared at the Doc. "Gorramit, go get something to dope her!"

Simon's mouth thinned out. He glanced at River once as Mal moved over to the bed to hold the girl's legs down before he rushed to the infirmary. He pulled out a small syringe. He debated for a moment on how much to give her. He measured out only enough to calm her down and make her groggy. It would put her out for an hour or so, at best. He had something else in mind for when she woke up.

He ran back to River's room, pushed in between Jayne and the wall, and stuck the needle deep into his sister's shoulder. River looked up at him and whimpered. In only a second, she started to quiet.

River craned her neck around Jayne's big form, and found Angel standing in her bed. "Angel."

Jayne leaned down low and asked, "Ya want me to take her?"

Her world was getting fuzzy around the edges. "Angel. Scared her. Shhh..."

The girl's body went limp. Jayne handed her over to her brother to lay her down, and he went over to pick up the little one. "Hey, there. It's okay. Momma's just gonna take a little nap."

"Simon?" Kaylee's voice called in from outside the room.

The three men turned to look at the worried mechanic in the doorway. Her eyes were darting between River unconscious in her bed, Simon covering his sister up, and the Captain's bleeding lip.

"I heard River shoutin' from upstairs. She alright?"

Simon tugged on his ear. "She's having a bad day, that's all. I'm sure she'll be fine."

"We talked about what would happen should your sister remained a threat to the people on this ship," Mal reminded him.

The Doctor's eyes narrowed. "It's just a bad day. She used to have them all the time."

"That she did, and as I said, you assured me that she was better when I allowed her to keep Angel. Now she's back to talkin' in riddles, throwin' shoes, and takin' a swing at me. That ain't what I call better, Doc."

"You couldn't have expected all of her problems to just go away, Mal," Simon hissed. "Her brain was changed. The way it functions, the amount of chemical transmitters it releases, the _kinds_ of neurotransmitters—it's all different because of what they did to her. She has been amazingly better the past ten months, and I'm fairly certain I know why. Once she wakes up, I am going to give her the treatment she needs, and hopefully she will be stable for another ten months."

"Fairly certain...hopefully she'll be better," Mal echoed. "I don't like the sound of that. What if this new treatment of yours don't work like you think it will?"

"It will."

"How do you know?"

"Because I've tested the reactions of the other members of this crew to the drug."

Mal opened and closed his mouth a time or two, too angry to think of anything to say at first. "You've been drugging my crew to—"

"No, we all experienced nearly the same level of intake while we were on Miranda. I simply measured our reactions to the drug."

"Ta ma de, the Pax," Mal muttered.

Jayne's brows went straight up. Kaylee's gasp hissed through the air when she heard the name of the awful chemical that decimated an entire planet and inadvertently created Reavers.

Simon looked at the floor for a moment to give himself a chance to collect his thoughts. He hadn't planned on telling them like this. He only wanted to defend his sister and her ability to care for Angel.

"I realized on Kerry, when we were going to give Angel to the Danvers', that River really had been better since the signal was released," he explained. "While I do believe that a lot of that has to do with River not having to carry around Miranda's secret any longer, I began to suspect that it may also be due to the Pax in the air that she breathed—that we all breathed in—while we were there. So I started running some tests on River, and on the crew to see if we all had a reaction."

"That was why you kept callin' us all in a few months ago?" Kaylee asked, coming in to stand next to her man.

Simon smiled at her show of loyalty, and just because of her nearness. "Yes. I compared blood samples to previous ones I'd taken before Miranda. Blood pressure decreased, breath speed, heart rate, white blood cell count, even a slight decrease in dopamine and seratonin."

When he saw that no one got the implication, he explained, "Those are the chemicals in your brain that can make you happy, but, if the levels are too high, can cause depression, obsessive thoughts, eating disorders...schizophrenia. Almost everyone on board had decreases in each. At first we all attributed the fatigue to surviving a traumatic experience, to injuries, to grief. And while I'm sure that those did play a part, the Pax

stayed in our systems for months and there were lingering physiological affects."

"So why ain't we all droppin' ta sleep an' lettin' ourselves die?" Jayne asked.

Simon looked over at the mercenary who still held Angel and patted her back to keep her calm. "The people on Miranda were breathing in the Pax-infused air everyday for years. They had a higher dose of it in their systems. We were only on Miranda for a few hours. It was enough to slow us down, but after we left, started breathing clean air, the Pax level plateaued and then began to decrease."

"Well, this is good," Kaylee said. "I mean, instead of all those shots you used to have to give her, and then change the kind of medicine all the time. Now River only needs this one thing, and she'll be good for almost a year."

Mal agreed. It was good news both for River and for the crew. There was just one more thing he wanted to know. "The way I understand it, Doc, Pax is a designer drug made by the Alliance to put into those air processors. I'm guessin' that after they found out about what happened on Miranda, Pax became a banned substance. Not that I don't think you couldn't get it on the black market, but that would most likely cost more than this boat is worth, much less what you get paid. How'd you find any, much less buy it?"

Simon colored. He looked down at the floor, and cleared his throat. "After the warrants for River and my arrest were dropped, my accounts on Osiris were unfozen. I honestly didn't even remember them until after I contacted Garcia to see if he knew anyone who could get the drug. I spent almost everything that was left in my savings that I hadn't used to get River out of the Academy getting the Pax and having it shipped."

"That was the packaged you picked up at the post office a couple weeks ago?" Kaylee asked.

He nodded.

Mal scratched the spot over his left brow, and shook his head. "All right, then. Let's get outta here, and let River rest a bit."

Jayne stepped over to Angel's little trunk of clothes, and pulled out a pink outfit. He grabbed a new diaper, and one of her bibs, too. Meanwhile, Kaylee walked over to River's bed, tucked the blankets in tighter around her friend, and kissed her head before leaving. The four crew members exited River's room, each looking over their shoulders for one last check on the unconscious young woman on the bed.

"Doc," Mal warned, "you give her that Pax as soon as she wakes up. I don't want her having a chance to run about the ship in the mood she was just in. And when you store that stuff, it better be in a locked, airtight box. I don't want any mishaps. Last thing we want is to end up like them folks on Miranda, or worse, Reavers."

"That ain't gonna happen, Cap'n," Kaylee defended. "Simon's real careful about them things."

Kaylee saw that Jayne still held Angel, and figured that since he watched her yesterday, he'd be looking for someone to take Angel today.

"I got stuff to fix today, but I can take Angel up to 'Nara to watch," she offered holding her arms out for the one-year-old.

"Nah, it's okay. I got her," Jayne said. He walked off with supplies and baby in hand.

"For someone who's awful tired of lookin' out for the Tam girls, he sure took that job on his self real quick," Mal noted.

"Aw, I think it's sweet," Kaylee cooed. "Little Angel's got big bad Jayne wrapped up around her pudgy little fingers. He's even friends with River, now. It's better than them tryin' ta kill each other. And who would'a thought that Jayne would make such a good babysitter? He almost looks like Angel's daddy, huh?"

Both men looked at the mechanic like she'd gone completely feng le.

"Please, Kaylee, don't even joke about that," Simon pleaded.

"Oh, what? They'd make a sweet couple."

"Only in happy-Kaylee-verse," Mal said. "And I thought you had work to do. How 'bout you get to doin' it?"

Kaylee stuck her tongue out at the Captain and skipped off toward the stairs leading to the engine room. When she was out of sight, Mal cut a glance back at River's door, and looked over at Simon. "You really think this'll work?"

"I wouldn't have ordered the Pax if I didn't," Simon assured.

The Captain nodded. He hooked his thumbs through his suspenders and headed up to the bridge to take the helm for the day.

&&&

River drifted through the thick fog up toward wakefulness. Everything was muted, blurry, too far away. It had been so long since Simon had drugged her she wasn't sure what was going on.

"Mei-mei?"

She turned her face toward the sound of her brother's voice. The motion took an inordinate amount of strength and time to complete. "Simon?"

Her speech was slurred.

The bed next to her dipped as Simon sat down. "I'm sorry, River. You were having a pretty bad episode. I had to give you a smoother to knock you out for a while."

"It was too loud."

"I know. I brought something that will help with that. And this time, it won't make you sick afterwards, or make you see things, or any of the other side effects. I promise."

River pushed herself into a sitting position, her world clearing a bit more. Unfortunately, with the clearing came the push of the crew's thoughts. She looked down at the object Simon held in his hands and frowned. It was an inhaler, like an asthmatic would use to control lung constriction. Simon's thoughts told her that the chemical inside was different from normal inhalers, though.

"G-23 paxilon hydrochlorate," she recited.

"Yes. Do you remember when I ran those tests on you and the rest of the crew?"

She stared at him not answering.

Simon cleared his throat. "It turns out that the Pax left over in your system has helped you to stay stable for so long. It let your brain slow down so that you could process the thoughts and feelings of the people around you. That's why this is your first bad day in a long time."

"You want me to breathe in death-air."

"It's not death-air, mei-mei. The Pax is diluted to the same amount that was in the air on Miranda. A single use of the inhaler would be the equivalent of spending three days planetside. None of the colonists on Miranda died after only three days."

He placed the inhaler in her limp hands. River looked down at the tiny device and back up at her brother. "I want to be better."

"I'm sure this will work."

Even a little more than half crazy, and still hampered by the dose of smoother that she'd been injected with earlier, River trusted her brother. He would never purposely harm her. With a little sigh, she put the mouthpiece to her lips, pressed the release button on the top of the inhaler, and breathed deep.

The chemicals numbed her flesh when they hit the back of her throat, her bronchial tubes, and down into her lungs. At first there was nothing but the sensation of ice crystals in her air passage. Then River's vision irised down, the Pax taking over her consciousness as once again she fell into a deep sleep.

Simon caught his sister's shoulders when she went limp and eased her head down onto her pillow. He picked the inhaler of her hands and pocketed it. Outside the door waited the mobile monitoring unit, and he brought it in. Simon had left it outside so that River wouldn't have to see the machinery when she woke up and be more freaked than she would already be about the new medication. He had to make monitor her vitals, though. He would never forgive himself if she went into cardiac arrest, or drifted into a coma because of he was over-confident.

Simon hooked the little electrodes to River's chest and forehead. He spent the next five hours watching over the blipping spikes of his sisters heartbeat, and the up and down currents of her brain waves.

&&&

At dinner, Mal told Zoë and Inara the news about River and the new treatment Simon was trying. He wanted them to be prepared, so he told them what the new medical cure was. Both were sad that River had slipped back again, but glad to hear that Simon hoped that he finally had the answer. They were obviously apprehensive about the Pax being onboard the ship, but Simon, who had come to get a plate to take back to River's room, assured him that he would keep it safely stored away so that none of it leaked into the air supply.

Kaylee gave him a kiss and a hug, telling him that she would come down and sit with him after dinner. "I can't finish the G-line today. There's a portion that runs under the core lock I can't get to without help."

"Do you want me to—"

"No, Doc," Mal vetoed. "You stick with your sister. I'll help Kaylee tomorrow morning."

"Cap'n, with all due respect," Kaylee hedged, "I was thinkin' Zoë could help me."

The first mate looked up from her plate. "Me?"

"Yeah. Mal wouldn't know his way around the engine room if I drew him a map, and Jayne just takes too long to explain what I want from him."

The women chuckled as the two men voiced their objections. Zoë answered, "Sure, I'll help. Tomorrow morning?"

"Bright and early," Kaylee said. "We're not quite able to steer at the moment, so I need to fix it before we drift too far off course. Or worse, try to land."

"What!" Mal shouted. "Little Kaylee! My boat crashes—"

"I know, I know: I crashed her," Kaylee grumbled. Simon leaned down for to kiss her cheek again, and then left the crew to their dinner while he went back downstairs to his charge. Kaylee smiled after him. When she turned back to the crew, Angel's face was covered in mashed carrot. Kaylee reached across the table to wipe some of it off, as obviously Jayne was content to let her sit like that.

Jayne had taken care of the baby all day. They got along well together while River recuperated. He hadn't complained once about being stuck with the baby. Kaylee smiled because it really was like Jayne was Angel's dad. She decided to push and see just how protective Jayne was feeling.

"You've had Angel all day, Jayne. I'm sure you're getting' tired of her by now. After all, she's not your responsibility. I'll take over for ya after dinner."

"Um…." Jayne really hadn't thought about it. True, he'd had her all day, but he hadn't minded, nor even noticed. "You don't…I mean, I don't…."

Mal smirked. "Yeah. Didn' you say this morning that you were sick of looking after Angel all the time?"

Jayne did recall saying something like that, not that he would give Mal the satisfaction of him admitting it. "Yeah, whatever. Why don't you take the girl so I can go…do…my own thing for a while. I think the kid's startin' ta think I'm some sorta damn teddy bear or somethin'."

Kaylee giggled at Jayne's put-out face. Who did he think he was fooling?

"Well, then, I'll just get the little one cleaned up," she said as she got up from the table and walked around to get Angel out of her high chair. "And then she can have a bath, and go to bed. Do you want bubbles, Miss Angel?"

Angel giggled back at her and started repeating the only word she knew. "Feetha, feetha, feetha."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

_Qing wa cao de liu mang_—frog-humping son of a bitch

Ben tian sheng de yi dui rou—inbred sack of meat 

_Kuai qu hen-rien de di fang_—go far away very fast


	10. Chapter 10

**Title**: Chapter 10

**Series**: Angel

**Author**: crazywriterchic

**Rating**: PG

**Spoilers**: series, BDM

**Disclaimer**: All hail Joss, for He makes Worlds we all wish to play in.

As always, waves of love to my beta, taramonk! Without you, this would be much more confusing to read, as Angel would be holding up her crib with one hand. Not what I meant.

CHAPTER 10

Waking up was too much work. River's body didn't want to move to change positions on the bed, much less drag its weary muscles up, across the room, and to the galley to get the drink of water her throat roused her to demand. River forced her eyes open into the dark of her room. A shaft of light came through the open door from the hallway, and when she hauled herself into sitting position, she could see into her brother's room. She looked over to the left hand wall and found Angel asleep in her baby bed.

Whimpering all the way, River slid her leaden legs across the sheet and let her feet drop to the floor. It was cold outside her blankets. All the more reason to curl back up and return to dreamland, but the thick, rough scratching at the far rear of her mouth was too painful to ignore. River stood up. She shuffled to her daughters bed, and dropped her hand in to touch the sleeping girl's head. After a moment, River pulled her hand away. She hobbled to the door, over the bottom divide, and down the short hallway.

It only took a few steps for her body to protest again. River leaned against a wall and waited a few moments for her muscles to resume working. She counted her breath. It was the only thing she could hear and measure time by. The other sounds of the boat, the hum of the engine, the odd little tinks of heating and cooling air ducts, even the sound of Simon's light snores seemed far away. Too far to bother listening to.

"Girl? Hey, you listenin' to me?"

River knew that voice. She pried her eyelids up once she realized that they had slipped down. Jayne stood in front of her, leaning down to look in her face. His forehead was all creased and he was frowning. Not that he wasn't usually frowning when he looked at her.

"Did you hear a word I said to you?" he asked.

She tried to speak, but it was too much work, and her dry throat made it painful. She did manage to shake her head slightly from side to side.

"I asked what you was doin' just standin' there. You look like you're asleep standin' up."

River licked her lips. She took a breath and forced her voice out, though it came only as a whisper. "Thirsty."

"Huh?"

"I'm thirsty."

"Well then you best get to the mess and get somethin' to drink."

"Going. Got tired. Had to rest."

Jayne shook his head. He wasn't able to get to sleep, so he'd gone down to do some late night weight lifting to tire himself out. He got up to go to the bathroom, and when he came out, he found River leaning against the wall. The girl could barely keep her self standing. He remembered what the woman on the Miranda beacon said about how the people of that planet had died. They'd stopped going to work, stopped breeding, and then they stopped everything else. That's what River looked like: like she wanted nothing more than to curl up, go to sleep, and let herself die.

Jayne didn't like that thought. Made his insides feel tight and squirmy. He didn't like the thought of anyone just laying down, let alone someone like River. River was a fighter. If she was to die, she should go out like he planned to. Fighting. Not that he wanted her to die. The crew would be without a pilot again, and what about Angel? What would she do without River?

The girl's eyes had drifted shut again.

"You still there? Hey!" He reached out and shook her shoulder until she opened her eyes and looked at him. "That's better. Come on, I'll help ya up to the mess."

Jayne took a hold of her arm and half led, half dragged River out of the passenger dorms and up the two flights of stairs to the kitchen.

"Now go get yourself some water or somethin'," he directed. It was better that she do it herself just to keep awake. Better to do anything rather than let her sit down and drift off.

River shuffled over to the cabinets and pulled out a cup. She took a little break, but Jayne snapped at her to get her ass moving. She barely glanced at him, though the glance at least held enough annoyance that he knew she'd heard him. He smirked at her to let her know he didn't give a good gorram if she was annoyed with him, and watched her walk over and fill her glass with water.

She drank by sips, her body not able to do more than that. Even sipping seemed like wasted energy. Why bother with this when she could just go to sleep? Nothing she did mattered, anyway. No one would care if she didn't get up in the morning.

Jayne saw her start to wobble, and rushed over before she dropped the cup and fell. With a few choice words, he pulled her over to the table to sit down.

"I'm all right."

"Like hell. Just sit down."

He watched her for a minute. She seemed a little more awake when she was moving around and talking. "Maybe you should eat somethin'."

"Don't want food."

"Ya've been asleep all day, so I know you ain't et nothin'."

She gave him a weak glare. "My own brother can't make me do what I don't want to, what makes you think you can?"

"'Cause unlike your pansy-ass brother, I'll force feed ya." He smirked. "An' I ain't even worried about ya fightin' back. You're reactions are off, so I think I could take ya."

Funny how that laugh he surprised out of her took less energy than the intentional glaring. "Am a little hungry, I suppose."

Jayne went and got the cereal O's box and let her eat right out of the carton, no milk. She was too tired to fight any more about it, so she just ate. After only a handful or so, River laid her head down on the table. She popped a few more O's before her eyelids drooped again.

"River?"

River opened her eyes. "You never did that before."

One of Jayne's eyebrows went down while the same side of his mouth quirked up in his confused face. "Did what?"

"Called me River. Never used my name to my face."

"Oh." He shifted in his seat. He didn't like to be caught saying her name. It meant that he thought of her as a person instead of just a crazy girl who turned out to be an assassin who just happens to be their pilot. "Uh, I was just….Look, you gonna just sit there, or ya gonna go back to bed? You're startin' to drool on the table."

"Don't care."

"Yeah, well, nobody wants to be eatin' where you slobbered all over the place."

After long moments, she mumbled, "Bed or table…doesn't matter."

"Pick one, girl."

"Mm."

"Huh?" Jayne waited for her answer, but nothing else came out of her mouth. "Girl? River? You best wake up 'cause I ain't carryin' ya."

He got up and walked around the table. He squatted down and looked in her face. He called her name a few more times, and when that didn't work, he nudged her shoulder. Nudging didn't work either, so he shook her. River frowned in her sleep and batted at him, but she didn't wake up.

"Alright, fine, I'll carry ya," he grumbled as he slid his left arm under her knees and used his other to brace her back so that he could lift her out of the chair. "But if you wake up halfway there, I'm puttin' your skinny ass down. I ain't your personal mule."

Jayne carried her down to her bed, though not without copious amounts of grumbling so that anyone who caught him doing it would know that this hadn't been his idea. He wasn't doing anything he shouldn't; he was just putting River back where she belonged so that he didn't have to deal with her anymore. It wasn't that he was taking care of her. He just was doing what Mal was always talking about, treating her like crew, and helping crew out if they needed it. That was all.

River didn't wake up the entire trip down to her room. This left Jayne with full responsibility to tuck the girl back in. Simon had completed his monitoring during the most crucial hours of River's use of the Pax. From his reading the hacked reports on the tests the crew underwent while in the Operative's custody, he found that the first eight to twelve hours after being exposed to the drug were when it had the most effect on a person. It was during those hours that River was in danger of going into a coma or having her heart stop. Neither happened, so at ten' o'clock a very relieved Simon unhooked his sister from the monitoring machines and went to bed.

River's door was wide open, so Jayne easily stepped in and walked the unconscious girl over to her bed. Very gently, he laid her down and pulled her blankets up around her. Jayne stood up, but he didn't leave right away. He just looked down at River and shook his head. This girl caused him more trouble than she was worth. He used to want to get rid of her, preferably to collect the sizable reward on her head. Not so much anymore. He didn't really know what he thought about her, what with being confused on her alternating killer woman/Virgin Mary personalities, but she was pulling her own weight now, and she was good to have on a job when things went south. And things always went south with this crew.

But she was too soft for this life, really. Too good for it. Unlike her prissy brother, River never made a big deal of her not being born to life in the Black. But the way she talked and how smart she was made it clear to anyone who was to meet her that she was meant to be somewhere other than here. Jayne would be right behind the first ones to admit that it wasn't fair what'd been done to her. She did carry it well, though. She never complained that life on the Rim was dirtier than on Osiris, that it was harder out here than it was for her growing up in the Core, or that there were mean people who did mean things for no reason other than it suited them to do it. She just took it in stride, and she defended herself from what she could.

Jayne frowned. He still wasn't sure if she'd been serious when she told him that she could kill him with her brain. That was damn creepy. Bad enough that she knew what he was thinking all the gorram time, but to have someone able to kill you with just a thought…that was wrong. He didn't think she'd do it, even if she could, but you never knew. She was kinda crazy.

There was a sound from behind him, and Jayne turned around to see what it was. Angel was awake and standing in her crib. She held tight to the bars with one hand to keep her balance on unsteady legs while the other hand rubbed at her sleepy eyes.

"Hey," Jayne rumbled, taking a step toward her. "Ain't you supposed to be sleepin'?"

"Gufm duh," Angel murmered. "Mmm? Muh?"

Jayne reached in and picked her up. "Yeah, Ma's a still sleepin'. Better'n her yellin' like she was this mornin', huh?"

Angel wrapped her fists in Jayne's T-shirt, and laid her head down on his shoulder. "Mum-um-um-um."

"How 'bout we go on up to the mess and get you a bottle so you can get back to sleep?" he suggested. "I wish I could get me a bottle, but I drank the last of my stash last week."

Jayne carried Angel out of the room, closed the door behind him, and took Angel on up. He fixed her a bottle of the crew's regular powdered milk instead of the formula she used to be on. River had said that after a year old, babies can have regular milk. After he handed the bottle to Angel, Jayne opted to go sit in the more comfortable chairs in the lounge. When he got up at eleven-thirty to lift when he couldn't sleep, he hadn't figured it would end up as "Let's look after the Tam girls" night for Jayne Cobb. He didn't even bother to try and figure out why he was doing it. Maybe it was only because his ma had asked him to look out for them, though that reason didn't seem to be holding much water with the crew anymore. It wasn't holding much water in Jayne's mind, either, but frankly, at the moment, he was too tired to think about it.

&&&

Kaylee climbed the ladder of her bunk early the next morning. She'd told Zoë to meet her in the mess at six-thirty since the Captain usually got up around seven. She wanted to have the G-line and steering back to working before the big grouch had a chance to yell at her again.

Before she shut her door all the way, Zoë popped her own hatch and began to climb out. Kaylee turned around to smile at the older woman. Zoë returned the smile, though she was a little less awake than the constantly bubbly mechanic. How she could be that cheery so early in the morning was beyond Zoë.

"Mornin', Zoë," Kaylee greeted. "I was just gonna go to start the coffee."

"Sounds good. I'll help." The faster the coffee was made, the faster Zoë could get it in her system and start feeling like a human being.

The two women didn't see Jayne over in one of the crash chairs at first. They were too intent on their early morning ritual of coffee prep. Zoë was the first to notice the mercenary asleep in the lounge. She put a hand on Kaylee's arm to still the girl's measuring out. She looked at Zoë, and the first mate pointed to Jayne and Angel, still asleep in the chair despite the noise they'd made.

Kaylee put a hand to her mouth to cover her smile. Zoë looked down at the floor to hide her amusement, and cleared her throat in Jayne's direction. He didn't move, so she called his name.

Jayne jerked awake. One arm constricted around Angel while his other hand reached for the knife in his boot. Zoë smiled and stepped back, her empty hands raised near her shoulders. Good to see that _Serenity's_ guard dog had his teeth in at all times, but that didn't mean she wanted to get bit.

Angel woke with a start when her pillow jumped and squeezed her. She started whimpering because she didn't know what was going on. Why wasn't she in her bed? Where was Momma? She was always there when Angel woke up. Even when she was loud and angry, at least Momma was there.

Jayne figured out where he was and what the weight pressing down on him was. His hand eased away from the knife, and he released some of the pressure on Angel. He rubbed a hand over his face and asked the women, "Whuh time is it?"

"Half passed six," Zoë answered. "Where's River?"

He shrugged. "Mm-mm. Guess she's still sleepin'. That shot a'Pax hit her hard."

Both women tensed at the mere mention of the drug. After seeing the effects of it first hand, they did not want that substance on their boat. They had to deal with it because it helped their friend, but no one wanted to think about its presence.

"What's goin' on in here?" Mal asked from the doorway. "There an early morning party no one told me about?"

"Just getting coffee, sir," Zoë said. "Then I was about to help Kaylee with the engine. Jayne was already in here when we came in."

"And what was Jayne doin'?" The Captain looked at his merc suspiciously.

"Oh, nothin', Cap," Kaylee volunteered with a cheeky grin. "He was asleep in that chair, so Zoë woke him up."

Mal looked at Zoë for confirmation. When she nodded, his shoulders eased and he continued down the stairs to wait for the coffee pot to get through brewing.

"What'cha doin' up so early?" Kaylee asked. "Thought you wouldn't be up for 'nother half-hour."

"Heard all this ruckus and couldn't get back to sleep," he said as the last of the dark coffee dribbled into the pot. He wasn't quite the morning person that Little Kaylee was, but he didn't need coffee before his higher functions kicked in, either. The strong drink to start the day was more a tradition than a necessity. Mal went to get his usual cup from one of the cabinets, and found it missing.

"Huh."

"What's wrong, Cap'n?" Kaylee asked.

"Coffee mug's gone missing."

"Is that it already on the table next to the cereal?" Zoë asked.

Mal looked over. "And so it is. What's it doin' out of the cabinet?"

"River got up in the middle of the night and got a drink of water," Jayne said. "Guess she forgot to put the cup away before she fell asleep again."

"And just how do you know that?" Mal wondered.

"I went to use the head and found her in the hallway," Jayne muttered. "We was both goin' the same direction. Not like I kidnapped her from her room and dragged her up here then gave her your cup knowin' she wouldn' put it back."

"Nobody was accusin' ya of that, Jayne," Kaylee soothed. "Not even you would be that diabolical as to misplace the Captain's coffee mug."

Mal frowned at Kaylee's teasing. Alright, so maybe he'd overreacted a little. Not that he was going to apologize to Jayne, but it meant that he wouldn't say anything to River when she got up this morning. Hopefully in a better mood than she was in yesterday.

&&&

River tumbled into consciousness with a sour taste in her mouth. She fought off the ghosts of a nightmare, and opened her eyes. The look of her room was the same as it was last night. Dark inside with light coming from the hall and Simon still asleep in his room. She pushed herself up untangling herself from the twisted blankets. When she looked over to Angel's bed, she didn't find her daughter there.

"Angel?"

Oh, no, oh, no. They took her away. They took her because of yesterday.

She knew it was ridiculous, but River jumped up and ran the two steps to the crib. She pulled the blankets out and dropped them on the floor. She looked behind the stuffed animals pushed to the far end of the bed so they didn't smother Angel in the night, but obviously there was no baby. River looked around her room as if Angel would suddenly appear out of thin air.

"Angel," she whimpered.

River wracked her brain trying to remember when they had come in to take Angel away. She knew that her daughter was there when she woke up in the middle of the night and went to get water. She didn't remember going back to her room. Which meant that Jayne must have brought her down.

Jayne! He had to have Angel. He had to. He wouldn't have let Mal and Simon take her away. Even if it was just to piss them off, he would have stood up for her. Right?

"Jayne!"

River ran out of her room and headed toward the front of the ship.

Simon woke up when River shouted. He sat straight up and looked out at his sister's room in time to see her run out still in her nightgown and tangled hair. He pushed his blankets off and rushed after her. "Mei-mei?"

"Have to find her, have to find her," River muttered as she ran through the ship.

Mal, Kaylee, Zoë, and Jayne looked up when they heard the sound of running footsteps in the stairwell by the engine room. A second later, a rumpled and a slightly wild River Tam scrambled into the mess. Her eyes darted around the room and landed on Angel. When the baby saw her, Angel leaned away from Jayne and reached for her. "Mum-um-um."

River's eyes closed as she released all of her breath at once. Simon came in behind her, and put a hand on her shoulder. He tried to ask her what was wrong, but she shrugged him off. She refused to give her brother or the Captain another reason to think she couldn't take care of her daughter. River drew her shoulders back, opened her eyes, and stalked down the stairs to Jayne. She wrenched Angel out of his arms. "What happened?"

Jayne couldn't believe it. Just like the other day, he'd done her a favor, and she was taking his head off about it. He wished to God she'd make up her gorram mind about what the hell it was she wanted.

"You fell asleep at the table. I carried ya down to your room. Angel was awake, so I brought her up here and gave her a bottle. Guess I fell asleep before I could put her back in her own bed."

"Could have woken me back up."

He snorted. "Yeah, and I'd'a had a lot of luck with that when I couldn't get ya to wake up two minutes after ya fell t'sleep."

"Wait," Simon interrupted. "When did you carry her? When was Angel awake? Why didn't I hear her crying?"

Jayne ignored him.

"I got thirsty. You were still asleep," River said over her shoulder at her brother. She returned her desperate glare to the mercenary in front of her. "You didn't have a right to take her like that. I could have done it."

"Not bein' unconscious you couldn't!"

"Then you should have left her!" she yelled. "Woke up and I didn't know where she was! Thought she was gone. I thought they took her. You should have left her in bed!"

"All right, Captain stepping in," Mal announced as he moved between the two warring parties. He'd seen Angel starting to get upset, and he did not want to have to deal with two angry, violent people who only occasionally tolerated each other plus a screaming baby. "River, Little Albatross, I hate to say it, but I think you're the one that's outta line this time."

Everyone was taken aback. Mal never defended Jayne. Mal ignored them and kept his attention on River. "You sure you're feelin' better, or are things still a little loud for you today? Is that why you're yellin' at my mercenary?"

"That ain't why she's actin' up, Mal," Jayne said.

River shook her head. "Don't."

"She's yellin' 'cause she's scared you're gonna take Angel away."

"Shut up," she hissed.

Simon shook his head. "Why do you think we'd take Angel away from you, River?"

River wouldn't look at anyone. She gritted her teeth to hold back tears, her breath coming fast and shallow. So Jayne took it upon himself to answer for her again.

"I'm thinkin' it's 'cause when Mal let her keep the girl, he told her Angel was all her responsibility. Crazy girl thinks that askin' somebody for help means she's breakin' that rule. An' after yesterday—"

"Who the hell asked you?" River screamed. Angel jumped, and started crying. In only a few days, she'd learned that her mother's raised voice was a bad thing. She didn't want to hear it again.

Jayne took a step toward her. "If you weren't so damn crazy—"

"_Bui zue! Now!_" Mal commanded. "Jayne, take a couple steps back. River, you need to calm down."

Jayne held his hands up and backed away shaking his head. It wasn't even worth it. Why was he arguing?

River inhaled deeply through her nose and tried to get a better handle on her emotions. Even with the Pax slowing down her system, it was so hard to stop emotional inertia. It was easier to turn that fear that had engulfed her when she saw Angel missing from her bed into anger at Jayne. It was much harder for River to stop the fear or the anger all together.

Kaylee, ever the emotional guide for the crew, stepped up to help calm the situation. "River, I'm sure Simon and the Captain never meant for you to do everything for Angel by yourself. Cap'n may be mean and grumpy, but he wouldn't take Angel from you. Not now, not ever. Right?"

"Of course not," Mal said. "Lil' Albatross, I never meant that I'd take that baby away if you asked for help. We all expected ya to ask for help. When I said that, I meant that I didn't want you to think you could have all the nice moments of raisin' a child and not do any of the work. That's what I was worried about. But you proved me wrong."

"Mei-mei," Simon murmured as he came up behind her and laid his hands on her shoulders again, "why would you even think that I would let him take Angel away from you?"

River bit her lip. She shrugged, and tears dropped from her eyes.

"I may not have been the biggest supporter of you raising Angel at first," he continued, "but you're my sister, she's my niece. I'd protect her the same way I protect you. I wouldn't let anyone take her away from you."

"Besides," Kaylee broke back in, "it's not like you're the first ma to ask for help with her first child. My oldest sister came back home a week after her first was born. She was wailin' and swore that there was somethin' wrong with her child, that she'd done broke him or somethin'. My Ma just laughed at Emma Lynn, and told her that there was nothin' wrong with Davie. He had colic. But because Emma didn't know, she had to ask for help."

"If you think that's bad," Zoë added, "my mother always told the story of how she left my older brother in a store when he was two and nearly left the planet without him. Said she nearly had a heart attack when she realized he wasn't with her. She called the dock manager, the local sheriff, and the Feds."

"See?" the mechanic asked scooting in by Simon and putting her arm around River's waist. "All mothers have their stupid moments."

"But not all mothers are crazy and have to go to sleep for a day," River pointed out.

"No," Zoë agreed. "But that's when family comes in real handy. You need to go take care of yourself, you hand that baby over to one of us. There ain't a person here who wouldn't do that for you."

River sniffled.

"When you can't run, you crawl. And when you can't do that, you find someone to carry you," she quoted. "I hate having to be carried so much."

"You're more broken than most," Mal said. "Gotta say, though. It'll make all our lives a sight easier now that the Doc found his crazy girl superglue to put you back together with. But next time, Lil' Albatross, I want you to go to your brother for your next dose before you get that bad."

"I didn't mean…I was trying…"

"I know. And you did a damn fine job of trying. Just don't take your bad moods out on my crew anymore, and we'll all be shiny. I don't wanna get hit again."

River nodded. She looked up at Jayne with her most apologetic expression, but he was having none of it. He scowled at her and turned around.

"Jayne, I'm sorry."

He wouldn't acknowledge her while he walked out. Mal called his name, and he ignored that, too. Jayne kicked his hatch open and dropped down. He locked it behind him.

River winced. She rubbed her cheek against a teary Angel's forehead. She looked at her daughter and found the strength to push her own hurt feelings to the side and comfort Angel. She used the pad of her thumb to wipe away a few lingering tears, and kissed the little girl's cheek.

"How 'bout my pilot takes her baby and goes to get dressed," Mal ordered in the form of a suggestion. "Then they can get up to the bridge while my doctor fixes some breakfast."

River nodded.

"And, I promise," Kaylee said, "the steering'll be back up in no time."

"Let's hope," the Captain said.

Zoë finally got to pour her cup of coffee, and followed Kaylee into the engine room. She nodded to Mal and put a hand on River's shoulder on her way passed. River nodded to the Captain and kissed her brother on the cheek as she went back down to her room to get Angel a new diaper and change clothes before she started a new day of work. Simon considered going down to his room to get dressed, or grab a shirt, at least, but decided to start breakfast. He'd make it, then go put day clothes on.

Mal shook his head at his crew and headed on up to the bridge to wait for his pilot and the steering to come back on.


	11. Chapter 11

Title: Chapter 10

Series: Angel

Author: crazywriterchic

Rating: PG

Spoilers: series, BDM

Disclaimer: All hail Joss, for He makes Worlds we all wish to play in.'

Notes: There are two footnotes. Not really important, nor do they add anything to the story, but they're there.

As always, much love to my beta, taramonk! Even with dental problems and being doped up, she manages to catch a grammer issue. And that's not even what I hired her for!

CHAPTER 11

"He still won't let you apologize?" Kaylee asked.

"Won't let me get near enough to talk to him, much less apologize," River sulked.

Kaylee, River, Angel, and Inara were out at the shops near Eavesdown Docks. They had landed that morning only slightly behind schedule because of two days worth of uncorrected drift in space. The girls were now entrusted with picking up a few necessities while the Captain, Zoë, and Jayne went to meet with Badger. Simon negotiated with his dealer for more medical supplies over the Cortex, so he was staying at the ship to await their delivery. He and Mal thought it would be better if River and Angel were with two other women while on Persephone because, though the warrants were technically gone, if someone were to see River and Simon together, they may remember the long line of zeros in the reward for finding and turning them in.

River's gloom was affecting the whole shopping trip, however. Jayne had been ignoring her since the day before when she yelled at him. She understood why he was angry. She shouldn't have said those things to him. But he wouldn't let her say how sorry she was. River tried to corner him after dinner last night to apologize, but he ignored her and walked out of the room. He wouldn't even look at her.

Okay, yes, true: that wasn't a lot different than their interactions had been before Angel arrived on the ship, but that was then. For the past few months, River and Jayne were always near by each other. And when they talked, it wasn't always about Angel, either. Some of it was about completely unrelated topics, like weapons. Jayne had given her a sideways look when she confided that she liked blades better than guns, but he now trusted her enough that he voluntarily gave her a knife when they went out on jobs.

River found that she liked being around Jayne. His mind worked at a neater pace than the rest of the crew's. She found it easier to ignore his thoughts, and focus on her own. The Captain thought about many connecting issues, and Inara thought about several issues from different angles—circles and refractory angles were a lot to deal with over extended periods. Zoë was quieter, but her thoughts were still too sad to stay near for long. Kaylee and Simon's brains worked similarly, focusing completely on the bodies they worked on to mend day after day. It was very intense. Jayne's thoughts were methodical, linier, structured. No rushing ahead, though that could get him in trouble from time to time, and no over-thinking a situation. He decided on a course of action and acted on it. It was quiet. She could follow his thoughts or leave them alone as she chose. Now that he wouldn't let her near, her mind chased itself around, and she didn't know what to do.

The other women tried to boost River's spirits by pointing out pretty clothes, or hair clips, or things for Angel. One dress was bright blue, and it reminded her of Jayne's eyes. Not that she stared at his eyes, she quickly assured herself. It was a sign of respect to meet a persons eyes when you talked with them, so she couldn't help noticing their color. There was a red blouse, but that made River want to find Jayne to apologize for a different reason on top of the current one. Inara pointed out silver hair sticks, but those reminded River of gun barrels which reminded her of Jayne. Just looking at things for Angel reminded her that Jayne had watched Angel twice, and she had yelled at him when he was trying to help, and she felt awful all over again.

"I think I'm ill," she said. "Perhaps I'm developing an OCD."

"River, you're fine," Inara assured her. "You're just feeling guilty. How about this, we'll help you find a gift for Jayne to help you say you're sorry. Maybe that will soften him up enough to listen to you."

"Yes! A gift!" River chirped. "Something to facilitate my return to Jayne's good graces."

She thought about Jayne's favorite things. Sex and guns were the first two that came to mind. Actually having sex with Jayne was stretching their relationship a lot, so no˚. Buying him a girly magazine was definitely out. Jayne took his weapons very seriously, so she didn't think she should buy him a gun, either.

"No, no, no," she mumbled. "None of the above. Perhaps he would respond better if she got him something which he could consume."

Kaylee giggled listening to her friend prattle as they walked the store-lined streets. Inara smiled as well, and leaned in to ask Kaylee, "Does it seem more like she's trying to find a gift for a new lover than an apology gift for Jayne?"

"You noticed that, too?"

Inara released a soft, throaty laugh, and nodded.

"I told Simon and Mal they'd make the sweetest couple," Kaylee said. "They didn't believe me. But I know what I see."

"You think Jayne and River are…?"

"Whatever they're doin', I don't think they know they're doin' it. They think they're just playin' at bein' Mommy and Daddy to Angel, but I don't think they can share a child and not start to get feelin's for one another, too."

"Mm, I think you're right."

River was a few steps ahead of them when she stopped and looked in one of the shops. The sign above read _Red Feather & Sons: Tobacconists. _Without waiting for Inara or Kaylee, River carried Angel inside. It was dim and smelled sweet and thick like dried herbs. She walked up to the counter. She set Angel on top, pointed at the little bell that sat a few inches away, and let the baby ring it a few times.

A tall man with a wide, sharp nose and deep-set obsidian eyes walked out from the back room. His black hair was pulled back in a single tight braid that fell past his broad shoulders. All of him was broad, in fact, including his waistline.

"C'I help you, miss?"

"Cigars," River told him. "Good ones."

He reached behind the glass portion of the counter and pulled out two boxes. "We got Cubans, or you can try the New Canaan Specials."

She remembered that Jayne had picked up a box of Cubans and given a few to Shepherd Book the very last time he had seen his friend alive. She didn't know if that would bring up sad memories for Jayne, especially since it had been her fault that the Shepherd and the colony on Haven was mowed down by the Operative.

"Do the New Canaan's come individually packaged?"

The man chuckled at her. "Not usually. But might have a box in the back that fell off the delivery craft and has a few missing. How much are you willin' to pay for 'em?"

River kept her face bland and innocent. "How much does a whole box cost?"

"Ten platinum. Means that a single would cost…point eight three."

"Wrong. A box costs seven platinum from the manufacturer. You sell them to your regular customers for eight and a half. Individually they would go for approximately point five eight platinum. I'll give you one-twenty for two."

The smirk melted off the man's face as soon as River implied he lied to her. By the time the genius got done calculating how much she was willing to pay for two New Canaan Specials, he was scowling.

"You know, I don't have to sell these to you."

"But you will."

"And why is that?"

She gave him her most charming smile that she watched her mother give to shareholders and people who attended benefits for charities that she chaired. "Because I'm sweet and lovely and smart enough not to have fallen for your scam."

He tried to hold the dark look on his face, but the sun of River's smile broke it up in seconds. "All right. I'll take the one-twenty. Let me go wrap the two Stokes—"

"New Canaan's," she corrected.

"_New Canaan's _up for you. Be right back."

When the man disappeared into the storeroom, River turned around and grinned at the women behind her.

"Well negotiated, River," Inara complimented her.

"Yeah, you sure showed him," Kaylee gushed. "Guess that genius brain comes in handy every once in a while, huh?"

River laughed along with them. When the proprietor came back out with two individually wrapped cigars, River peeked into his thoughts a little to make sure he hadn't tried to cheat her again. When she met the buzz of his annoyance, she grinned.

_No power in the 'Verse,_ she thought. _Not even tobacconist store clerks._

The man wrung the cigars up and wished the ladies a nice day, although it was pretty clear he was bothered by being calculated at by a bitty little girl with a baby. River couldn't wait to get home, but they did still have to go and buy food, so she had to wait. Now that her mood had improved at the prospect of Jayne liking her present and forgiving her for yelling, the rest of the shopping trip passed quickly.

&&&

Jayne climbed down into his bunk in a worse mood than he'd been in in months. First he'd had to rush through dinner the night before to avoid the resident crazy girl which meant that he didn't get seconds and woke up hungry. There was a flashback to his childhood he certainly didn't need. Then Mal griped about their late landing this morning. And finally the little ass-wipe, Badger, went all big important businessman and threatened to not give the crew the job he'd Waved them offering in the first place.

A little posturing by Mal convinced the weasel to let them transport for him, but there was a minute where Jayne considered telling Mal he was staying on Persephone to look for a new berth. Even after everything this crew went through together, if Jayne wasn't getting paid, Jayne was leaving. Loyalty was great, but a man has to eat.

Jayne walked over to his bed. He pulled his chest holster over his head, took Lucy out and removed the magazine. When he put one knee on his mattress and reached for the edge of the blanket that covered his arsenal something rolled across the bed and butted up against his knee. Since Jayne hadn't left anything on his bed that morning, he was a little surprised. And worried. After all, it would just figure that someone planted a bomb to blow up _Serenity_ in his bunk. It would be an almost expected death given the day he was having.

He looked down. Next to his knee were two cigars that had rolled down from on top of his pillow when Jayne's weight dimpled the mattress. A folded piece of white paper lay on his pillowcase.

Jayne got up, picked up the cigars, and sat down on the bed. He put his holster on top of the blanket next to him, and grabbed the note. The front had "To Jayne" written on it. Jayne opened it up and read the neat cursive inside.

_For your silence when it was requested and your voice when it was required._

_Sincerest apologies,_

Riv 

_the Crazy Girl_

_P.S. I'm very, very, very, very sorry._

Jayne was smiling, but he didn't want to be. He kind of liked that his opinion of River had reverted to the way it was supposed to be. Hell, he knew this new friendliness was weird and uncalled for. Now he was back to liking her again. Or not liking, but enthusiastically tolerating her. Yeah, that sounded better. Jayne Cobb did not like River Tam regardless that he decided putting his weapons away could wait while he went to find the pilot.

He climbed out of his bunk and went up to the bridge. It was empty, so he went back down, glanced into the empty galley, and took the stairs back down to the cargo bay. The airlock doors were open, and Badger's men were loading in deep boxes, long wooden frames with painted canvas stretched over one side, and rolling Z-bars with all sorts of colorful costumes that were in clear, protective bags and hung from a bar. All this noise would usually bring the easily distracted girl down to investigate, but River was nowhere to be seen.

Jayne went through the bay to the passenger lounge and on to the girl's room thinking she might be in there taking a nap, or reading, or changing Angel's diaper, or something. No River there, either. Jayne, scowling the whole way, left, and went to the stairs with the intent of returning to his bunk. As he passed the infirmary, the Doc opened a cabinet near one of the front windows catching Jayne's attention. If anybody knew where the crazy girl was, it was the Doc.

Jayne braced his arms on either side of the doorway and leaned his head in. "Hey, Doc."

Simon looked over at him. "Did you need something?"

"Yeah. I was lookin'—"

"If you're looking for the medical tape again, it's over in that drawer under the sink. If you still can't find it, let me get it for you, but, for the love of Buddha, don't tear apart my med bay again."

Jayne glared at him. "I'm lookin' for your sister, dip shit. Seen her?"

It was Simon's turn to frown. "The last time I saw her, she was helping Kaylee put groceries away in the mess. Why do you—"

"Thanks, Doc."

Jayne left before Simon could finish his question. He knew he checked the mess, but maybe now that they were done in there, the girl went to help Kaylee in the engine room, and he hadn't looked that far when he glanced in. He took the stairs two at a time until he reached the hall between the mess and the engine room. Jayne looked into the mechanic's rusty second home only to find it deserted.

"Sonofabitch."

It was bad enough that girl riled him and got off without at least a verbal thrashing; now she had him running all over the damn boat looking for her. If she wasn't on the bridge, or in the mess, the engine room, the cargo bay, her own room, either of the lounges, or the infirmary, that left…the shuttles. There was no reason for her to be in the spare, so she was most likely in with Inara. That was probably where Kaylee was, too, come to think of it.

Jayne tromped back down to the catwalk and over to the Companion's shuttle. His steps slowed the closer he got. He was only around that shuttle when he was on his way past, and that one time the ship broke down he actually got to go inside. He'd never stopped and knocked on Inara's door, though—not even when he'd had that little crush on her.

Cursing at himself for acting like a scaredy little boy, Jayne went up to the door and knocked. He hooked his thumbs in his belt and waited.

Inside, Inara paused in the detangling process she was engulfed in. Angel had wanted to practice her brushing skills on her mother with painful results. So Kaylee kept Angel distracted with Inara's pretty cushions while the Companion extracted the guilty comb from River's hair.

"Who do ya think it is?" Kaylee wondered.

"It has to be Zoë, or perhaps Simon," Inara said. "Mal never bothers to knock."

She rose to her feet and went to answer the door. She smoothed her skirts as she went. Inara slid the door open, and the pleasant smile on her face wilted just slightly in surprise when she saw the person on the other side.

"Jayne?"

"Um…is River in there?" He cleared his throat. The girl's name sounded so strange coming out of his mouth. "I was lookin' for her. I checked everywhere else."

Inara smoothed away the girly smirk as she had the creases in her skirt a moment before. Jayne's current nervousness was an encouraging mirror of River's earlier anxious enthusiasm while she searched for the perfect apology gift for the mercenary.

"Yes, River's in here. Would you like to come in?" She saw Jayne's uncertainty and hastened to add, "Or would you be more comfortable if I sent her out here to meet you?"

"Send her out," he opted. "Er, please."

"Just a moment." Inara walked back into her shuttle and smiled down at River sitting on the divan. "Sweetie, Jayne's outside. He wants to see you. He even said please."

River grinned. She stood up and started to the door, glad that her plan worked. She stopped half way there and looked down. "I have a comb stuck in my hair."

"I'm sure he won't notice," Kaylee said. River frowned, so her friend added, "Unless you want him to."

River sighed and shook her head. It was just Jayne. It didn't matter. He'd seen her a lot worse. He'd seen her crazy, homicidal, terrified, and covered in blood. He'd even seen her naked!

She winced. Somehow, that last was not a comforting thought.

She straightened her shoulders and stepped out onto the catwalk where Jayne waited. He didn't look angry with her anymore. She didn't sense any residual anger or annoyance at her, except for a little from having to look all over the ship for her. But that was quickly fading. River smiled.

Jayne looked her over. She definitely looked better than she did when she was half crazy and screaming. Her eyes were clear, and she stood straight instead of hunched over. She did have a comb dangling from her hair, though. "Nice earring."

River blushed. "Angel wanted to brush my hair. She did not pull the comb all the way through before starting the next stroke, however."

"Uh-huh."

There was a beat where neither knew what to say next, and neither could quite look the other in the eye. River twisted her hands behind her back. Jayne stared off into the cargo bay.

"I, uh…" Jayne started, "I got the cigars. Thanks."

"New Canaan Specials," River told him. "They were the best _Red Feather & Sons _had. I'm sorry I couldn't get a box. Didn't have enough."

Jayne's brows rose. Those were some damn good cigars. "Why'd'ja buy 'em for, anyway?"

River dropped her chin and looked up at him through hair and lashes. "Because you wouldn't listen when she said she was sorry. I am sorry. Didn't mean any of those things I said to you. Didn't mean to yell about Angel saying Vera first, or saying that you shouldn't have picked her up when I was asleep. Didn't mean any of it. But you wouldn't stand still long enough for me to say it, so I bought you a gift to express my regret." She licked her lips. "I don't want you mad at me."

Jayne didn't know what to do in this situation. People didn't usually apologize to him. They generally didn't care if they hurt his feelings. Most people didn't think he had any to begin with. And, in his line of work, nobody cared whether or not a person had hurt feelings or was mad at them unless they were worried about getting knife in the back one night. So he didn't know what to do here.

"I like the cigars," he said. "Angel did start sayin' 'Mum,' d'ja hear?"

"I did," she said. She preened everytime Angel prattled 'Mum-um-um' at her. "Two words in four days. Soon there will be full sentences."

"Yup." He crossed his arms, and cleared his throat. "An' I, uh, sorta get why you was mad 'bout the whole takin' Angel outta her bed thing. Guess I'm kinda sorry, too. An' it ain't like what you called me the other day were all untrue."

"_Not_ true," she insisted. "Not usesless. Not worthless. Pay no attention to the crazy girl behind the curtain."

"I notice you ain't takin' back the 'pussy of a mama's boy' crack," he teased.

Seeing that he wasn't really mad, River smiled. "But you are a mama's boy. It is one of your very few redeeming qualities, however, so I should not have phrased it in a derogatory manner. As for the pussy comment, Jayne _is_ a g—"

"Don't even start!" he warned.

River giggled. "Yes, I remember. 'She starts in on that "girl's name" stuff, I'll show her good an' all—"

"Now, see? This is what I meant by you startin'! Just stop it."

"Hey!" Mal called up from the cargo bay. "You two make up?"

River looked at Jayne. "Yes, Captain. You will have no more problems with us."

"Somehow, I doubt that," the Captain snarked. "Now I need my pilot at the helm so that when my first mate closes the doors we can get underway, finally. And I need my hired muscle down here helpin' us secure all this fragile cargo so it don't go rollin' about my cargo bay.

"Oh, and River?" Mal asked. "You do know you got a comb stuck in your hair, right?"

River stuck her tongue out at him. Jayne laughed, and the sound followed River through the halls, echoing through the lighter, brighter air that seemed to fill the ship now that the smog between him and her had cleared. River did make one stop on her way to the bridge. In the mess, she found a pair of scissors and cut the comb out.

Still inside the shuttle, Inara and Kaylee discussed River and Jayne's interaction. They had never heard River talk with someone in that teasing, dare one say flirtatious tone of voice. The two women shared a look. Kaylee bounced Angel in her lap and hummed, "Angel's got a daddy; Angel's got a daddy," over and over again.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

˚ _I can hear the groans now, but please! I already warned you that this was going to take time. That means no jumping into bed together right away. There will be sex, though! At the end. Not sure how well I'll write it, but I'll try. Just hold your horses and don't try to lynch me._

_Author's wink to Adam Baldwin claiming that he played Jayne as having a crush on Inara. If so, Adam/Jayne played that crush so cool, no one knew he had it._


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12

"Just what the hell'd ya think you were doin', anyway?" Mal asked. "Any of this gets broke, we're in for a world'a hurt from the buyers, and we may never see another job from Badger. An' you, Zoë? How could you just sit there and let them desecrate our cargo?"

The First Mate didn't even jump down from the crate she sat on. She gave Mal her unapologetic face, and said, "Don't know what came over me, sir. They just looked so cute, I couldn't help myself."

Kaylee and River giggled at the Captain's put-out expression. River hopped up from her seat on the floor where she, Kaylee, and Angel had been playing dress-up with the theatrical costumes and props they were delivering to Paquin, and went to Zoë's side. She stood up on her toes and kissed the first mate on the cheek. Zoë laughed.

Mal snorted. "How 'bout my crew gets back to doin' their jobs? Lil' Albatross, the bridge is yours."

She stuck her tongue out at him before starting for the stairs. Mal shooed her off, then turned to the other two. "Kaylee, you see to the engine room or whatever needs fixin'. Zoë…go yell at Jayne."

"Why for am I gettin' yelled at?" Jayne demanded as he walked into the cargo bay. He was dressed in a white tank top and had his towel thrown around his neck.

Mal looked over his shoulder at him. "I dunno. What've ya done today to deserve it?"

"Nothin'." He walked over to Angel and Kaylee still seated on the floor, and bent to pick up the baby. Jayne straightened and tossed a squealing Angel above his head.

"Don't throw her!" River yelled at him from the landing.

"You keep shoutin' an' I really will drop her," Jayne warned.

River continued up the stairs, but she kept her eyes on Jayne. Before she disappeared onto the upper level of the ship, she called out, "Zoë, if he drops her, you shoot him. Not lethal, but make sure it's somewhere that hurts."

"Hey!"

"Will do," Zoë promised.

"So much for you two getting' along," Mal pointed out.

River called back, "That was nearly two weeks ago, Captain."

Jayne nodded his agreement. A full week of absolute peace between him and River was a stretch of the imagination. More than that was out of the question. One always did something to annoy the other. There might be a period where they didn't bother each other, but they seemed to instinctually know that getting under the other's skin was the proper order of the universe.

After a few more minutes of what River termed "kamikaze flight lessons," Jayne handed an air-silly Angel back to Kaylee and went over to his weight bench. The mechanic kissed her cheek, and set her in the playpen she'd jerry-rigged for Angel out of spare piping and some old insulated electrical cord. She gave Angel the little bear with a bell inside that the girl liked to prattle to and shake to keep her occupied, and went back to cleaning up her and River's little mess.

Mal stayed by his first mate to discuss the upcoming drop. It was a short discussion, consisting mainly of Mal's usual planning method and Zoë's, "Yes, sir." It didn't take much planning, though. The job, despite its source, was legit. The drama company on Persephone that had the costumes and props first got an endowment when the director's rich mistress died, so they ordered all new stuff. The buyers on Paquin ordered the props from the original company, already had the credits transferred, and only had to pay _Serenity_ for shipping charges, of which Badger got fifteen percent. It was a hefty shipping charge.

River's voice over the com echoed in the bay. "Zoë. You have a WAVE. From New Melbourne."

Mal frowned at the woman beside him, and asked, "Wasn't Wash from New Melbourne?"

Zoë's face was soldier-blank. "That he was, sir."

"Better go see what they want, then."

"Going now, sir."

Zoë had only met Wash's family once. It was just after they got married, and her new husband took her home to meet his relatives. His mother, Anita, had died the first year Wash was away at flight school, but Seamus Washburn was alive and breaking jokes on his son's head for marrying without his family there to see it. A year or so later, Seamus passed on as well. Both parents went because of chronic bronchitis brought on by the thick pollution.

Wash did have one brother. Hugh Washburn was a few years older than Wash, and married. Zoë remembered stories of how the two of them worked on their father's fishing boat growing up. That was where Wash had honed his skills as a pilot and navigator, later transferring his talent to space ships instead of watercraft.

New Melbourne was a planet predominately made up of ocean. It hadn't been the best candidate for terraformation thanks to the planet's native atmosphere of carbon monoxide and methane, and not even the best air processors could remove all of the naturally occurring smog. The factory smoke from the original industries people tried to put up on the planet officially sent the air quality down the tubes.

The only thing the planet was good for was deep sea fishing. The oceans were so vast that the acid rain was diluted, and the fish could live. Some species even managed to adapt and thrive. Thank goodness for that, or New Melbourne would have become a black rock.

Zoë made it to the bridge in a tense fog, mentally bracing herself for bad news. River got up from the pilot's seat and quietly exited so that Zoë could take the call privately. On her way out, Zoë thought she'd heard the girl whisper, "It's time."

Shrugging the cryptic message off, Zoë took her seat and pushed the button to accept the WAVE. The screen showed a short, balding man. His narrow slanted eyes were deeply creased at the edges.

"Mrs. Zoë Washburn? I'm Izumi Makino, the solicitor for Hugh and Deborah Washburn."

_Definitely not good_, she thought. "Their solicitor?"

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Washburn; your brother- and sister-in-law have passed away."

The fine lines that started appearing around Zoë's eyes after her husband died deepened slightly at the news, but no other sign betrayed her sorrow. She hadn't known Hugh or Deb well, but she remembered that they were sweet people whom she liked. Hugh had the same sense of humor that Wash inherited from their father. Deb was quiet when first introduced to new people, but warmed up after an hour or so.

"What happened to them?"

"A house fire," Mr. Makino said. "It started in the wall of their bedroom. Faulty wiring ignited the insulation. It was a slow burn; most of the house was actually intact when the fire department got there. Mr. and Mrs. Washburn died of smoke inhalation in their bed. It was a neighbor who saw the smoke coming from under the siding who reported the fire."

Zoë swallowed to try and alleviate her suddenly dry throat. "Thank you for telling me. When…when is the funeral? I'll do my best to get there. I don't…should I be the one making arrangements? Is there anyone else? Is that why you called?"

"There's not anyone else," the solicitor hedged, visibly uncomfortable. He cleared his throat. "You don't need to worry about the funeral. Hugh had most of his things in order. It was required by the company he worked for, you see. Very risky business working in the harbor's metal shop. But I didn't WAVE only to tell you of your relatives deaths, Mrs. Washburn."

"Then what did you need to tell me?"

"You see, they left you something—two something's. Or, more accurately, they left them to your husband, but I understand that he passed on recently, as well. My condolences a second time."

Now Zoë visibly winced. It would be a year this August. Three more months and the one year anniversary of the signal's release, and Wash's death, would be observed. She still couldn't get used to how big her bed felt. But that wasn't any of this man's business. "What exactly did they leave?"

"Do you recall that your late husband was named godfather of Hugh and Deborah's son, Donald Reginald Washburn?" Mr. Makino asked.

She nodded, vaguely recalling Wash getting the notice that his brother had named him godfather. He had been thrilled. He sent his new nephew/godson two of his dinosaurs. When she saw how excited he was about his nephew, Zoë started wanting kids of her own.

"Apparently, Hugh took the traditional role of godparent seriously," the lawyer continued. "He named his younger brother, Hoban Douglas Washburn, legal guardian of the minor child, Donald Washburn, incase of both his parents unexpected termination. When your husband died, all rights and responsibilities to the child passed to you, Mrs. Washburn."

"Oh, wo de ma," Zoë murmured.

River's voice from months ago back on Kerry when Angel nearly became a Danvers echoed in her mind. _You'll hold him before the year is out…it won't be the way you think…_

"Mrs. Washburn?"

Zoë opened eyes she didn't realize she'd shut. The little man frowned at her through the screen.

"You do have the option of not claiming him," he explained. "If you don't take the boy, he'll go to foster care, and hopefully be placed into a permanent situation or adopted. We have a fairly decent child care system here on New Melbourne."

"It's not that I don't want him, Mr. Makino," Zoë assured him. "It's just that it's complicated. I live on a transport ship. I'm not sure what the captain would say to my bringing a child onboard."

That was a lie. She knew exactly what Mal would say. She'd talk him into it, though. She would get Mal to agree somehow. There was no way Zoë was leaving her nephew to the mercy of the foster care system. Sure, there were probably lots of children who got placed in good homes and lived their lives happy and normal, but Zoë had heard the life stories of too many soldiers and drunken thugs who were placed in crowded two-bedroom homes with five or six other kids, and were treated like dirt or ignored. She would not willingly throw a two or three year old boy into the impersonal hands of the government.

_God, I don't even really know how old he is_, Zoë realized.

"If you could give me a half-an-hour to make arrangements, I'll call you right back," she promised.

"Of course, Mrs. Washburn," Mr. Makino agreed. "I'll await your WAVE."

Before the solicitor disconnected, Zoë yelled, "Wait!"

The man jumped. "Yes?"

"You said Hugh and Deb left me—Wash—two things," she reminded him. "What was the other?"

"Ah, yes." He searched through computer slips on his desk until he found the correct one. "The late Mr. and Mrs. Washburn leave you with a total of 17,200 credits from their insurance policies to use in raising their son."

Seventeen thousand….That was a nice chunk of cash to receive all at once. _Serenity_ only cost Mal 3,550 credits. But if she was going to be responsible for raising a child, how fast would that money go? What happened if he needed braces? Or glasses? Should she put some in a college fund?

"Thank you, Mr. Makino. I'll see you in thirty minutes."

Zoë reached out and pressed the though pad on the screen to disconnect. She took a deep breath and swiveled the chair around. "How much of that did you hear?"

Mal walked up the last few steps to the cockpit. "Most of it. Wanted to follow right away, but River said something about timing and things coming together to add up to the original sum….Took me a minute to decide I didn't much care."

She shook her head.

"Which part did you walk in on?" she asked.

"The part where you're now the sole relation of a minor child," he mocked the lawyer's jargon.

"Wash's older brother and his wife died in a house fire," Zoë reported. "Their son was born a few years ago. Two or three, I think. Wash was godfather, and Hugh made him legal guardian, too. Since Wash is gone, that means I get custody."

"The kid doesn't have grandparents or anything to go to?"

"Not that I know of. There was only Hugh and Wash on his side, and Deb was an only child. Both of Wash's parents are dead. If Donald has surviving grandparents on his mother's side, the solicitor didn't say."

Mal sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "You won't turn the kid over to foster care, I'm guessin'."

"Not if I can help it, sir."

"Well then…it looks like we got ourselves a new junior member of the crew."

"Thank you, Mal."

Mal smiled. "Who knows? Maybe he can take over my job one day."

He stepped up to the consol and pulled out the planetary maps and route charts. "How far off course is our detour to New Melbourne gonna take us?"

"New Melbourne is seven/twelfths of the way through its orbit," River announced.

Mal and Zoë jumped and turned to find the pilot leaning against the door jam like a propped up rag doll.

"We reach Paquin in another seventy-nine hours. With a few modifications to the spare shuttle it would be able to hold enough fuel so that Zoë would be able to disembark from _Serenity_ in fifty-three hours, fly straight to New Melbourne, and pick up Donald Washburn. You'd have to wait for us to come get you after we drop the goods."

"Great," Mal said. He was still a little jumpy after River's silent approach. He shook it off and looked at his first mate. "So, Zoë? How's that for a plan?"

"That'll do just fine, sir. I'll go tell Kaylee she needs to make a few adjustments to the shuttle."

She practically ran off the bridge placing a hand on River's shoulder as she left. The younger woman smiled after her before she turned back to the Captain. Serious now, River told him, "Simon needs to go with Zoë. She won't understand all the medical directions the doctors will give her."

Mal frowned. "How do ya know the boy's hurt?"

River gave him her _What are you, stupid?_ look.

"Deductive logic. The boy's parents died in a fire," she repeated. "One could assume that their son was home with them at the time, as he is still a toddler. It's likely that, though he survived, he is not unharmed."

"Point taken," the Captain conceded. "Go tell your brother he's goin' on a trip. I'll tell Zoë when she gets back up here to WAVE the lawyer."

River sailed away down the corridor, her bare feet not even eliciting a twang of the rebar she strode over. Mal sat down in the pilot's seat and stared out into the black. After a long, quiet moment, he grabbed the Tyrannosaurus Rex off the consol and fiddled with it. Mal looked the plastic dino in the eye.

"Well, Wash. Looks like Zoë gets her child after all, thanks to you. Even dead, you manage to clutter up my ship with little people."

&&&

"As I'm sure you've all heard by now, Zoë's nephew is comin' to live with us. I don't know what kinda shitty background check they ran that okayed it, but the boy's gonna be here in the next few days. Doc is gonna go with Zoë to get little Donald—"

"Dewey, sir," Zoë interrupted.

"Shun muh?"

"I went through some of Wash's letters from home to figure out how old the boy is," she admitted. "He's three now. Donald is his full name, but they called him Dewey for short. Donald seemed like too big a name for a baby to have to carry around."

Mal shook his head. "What is it with the Washburn's that they couldn't name their children somethin' normal? Hoban, Hugh, Dewey…."

"That is one'a the dumbest names I ever heard," Jayne muttered loud enough that everyone could hear.

"Jayne—"

He spun on River and jabbed a finger in her direction. "Don't! I swear, I'm 'ginnin' ta think…"

Jayne glared suspiciously at River, but she just smiled innocently, and bounced Angel on her lap.

"Hey!" Mal called out. "Captain talking. Pay attention." He waited while his crew settled down. "As I was sayin', Doc, you're goin' with Zoë to pick up…Dewey. Boy's like to have some burns on him from the fire. Zoë's gonna be busy signin' papers and whatnot, so you have a physician's powwow and see what care he'll need once he gets to the ship. Jayne'll be goin' with me to drop off the cargo once we land on Paquin. Kaylee, Albatross, the ship'll be yours for a few hours. Try to keep her intact.

"'Nara? You got any plans once we hit atmo?"

The Companion looked up at Mal's guarded, wary expression. She gave him an open smile and said, "Actually, I was hoping I could accompany you and the cargo. The Rising Theater's director, Doreen Cooper, is a long time friend of mine. It would be lovely to see her again."

"She ever a client?" Jayne leered, his tongue pressed against the back of his teeth.

Inara rolled her eyes. "I told you once, Jayne. I don't discuss my clients. But no, she wasn't one. She trained briefly at House Madrassa before she found that the theater was more her calling than being a Companion."

River reached over and smacked Jayne on the arm. "You're hopeless."

"Ow." He rubbed at the reddening spot on his arm. "What?"

&&&

The cargo exchange went well. Inara went with the Captain to meet with her friend, and Mal swore up and down when he got back that she had tried use her wiles on him to get her friend a discounted fee. Kaylee snickered to River and said, "I bet he just notices every time she blinks, an' he thinks she's battin' her eyelashes at him."

The Captain and Ms. Cooper did negotiate the price, and Mal took the figure down from the original transport fee. Jayne griped about losing part of his ten percent. River rolled her eyes when she heard him complaining as he entered his bunk. She waited for the Captain's cue, and then lifted off to head straight for New Melbourne.

"Honestly, Angel," she told the baby in her playpen by the console. "The way the ape-man goes on, you'd think we did the job for free. His ten percent is down by a measly few creds. Hardly anything."

_Just means he'll have to forego buying sex wholesale and go for the blow job,_ she thought nastily. Not that she cared. It really wasn't her business how he spent his money, or on whom, doing what. She just wished he'd stop complaining so loudly about his inability to pay for anything decent.

River's mind stayed on those unpleasant thoughts during the entire five hour flight at hard burn to New Melbourne. Halfway through, Angel started getting bored and fussy. Inara heard her from the galley, and offered to take Angel for a while. River agreed, both hands on the yoke, as Kaylee's engine room feats provided full burn. When they arrived, she WAVED Simon and Zoë in the second shuttle. She notified them of _Serenity_ making her imminent entrance through the dense atmosphere, and could hear a child wailing in the background.

"We have enough fuel left to meet you at the docks," Simon told her.

"No rushing necessary," River said. "We need to refuel while we're here. How's Dewey?"

Simon took a deep breath, looked over his shoulder, and said, "He's actually in good shape for what he's lived through. He has second and third degree burns on his legs and part of his back. Probably because he tried to get away from the fire by curling up in a ball on his bed. The next few weeks are going to be hell because every night we'll have to give him a bath to wash off the flaking skin, and to keep the burns clean so they don't turn septic. We've already had that particular joy twice, and let me tell you, it only gets more fun."

He shook his head. "After helping with those baths, I did something I almost never do. I went out and bought myself and Zoë a couple of beers just to help dull the strain. This is part of the reason I became a surgeon, not a general practitioner. Believe me when I tell you that Dewey's not easy to handle when he's in pain."

"He'll be alright," River said.

"He'll have scars for the rest of his life," Simon said, "but they'll will fade as he gets older. And, considering what happened to his parents, he's a very lucky little boy."

River didn't think her brother knew a half of how true that statement was. Dewey wasn't only lucky to be alive, but to be young enough that he wouldn't remember it as he grew up. He would remember stories told about his parents and his coming to _Serenity_, but the actual events would be blurred by time.

"We'll see you in thirty minutes," she promised, and disconnected the signal.

"Zoë and your brother ready to come home?" Mal asked from the doorway.

"They are."

"How's the little 'un?" Mal settled himself in the copilot's chair, content to let his Albatross fly.

"The boy is in pain, and he's scared. He misses his mother and father. Doesn't understand why they're not taking care of him. Doesn't know who Zoë is. It will take time to adjust."

"Yeah, for us, too." He looked around noting the empty play pen. "Where's the princess today?"

"With Inara, having a tea party." River smiled over at him as they hit atmo. "If you can keep from insulting Inara for more than five minutes, I'm sure they'd love to have a guest stop buy."

He chuckled, and stood up again. "You know, I may just do that. Let me know when we land."

"Yes, sir," River responded.

&&&

The shuttle docked twelve minutes after _Serenity_ settled into St. Michael's Space and Air Docking Port. Simon slid open the door of shuttle two so that Zoë could keep both arms around the toddler in her arms. It was difficult carrying the boy with his legs and back in pain, but the same problem arose when he was set down to walk. At least when Zoë held him, one arm on his upper back and shoulders, the other cradling his knees and lower legs, Dewey didn't have a panic attack. It was good for Zoë that he was such a skinny little thing.

He was so scared that all he could do was cling to her and cry. One hand was curled into a fist in Zoë's hair, and the other gripped the sleeve of her loose purple shirt. Dewey's face was nearly as red as his hair which itself was somewhere just to the side of fire's orange-red. Add that to the pale skin and slight build, and he was identifiably a Washburn.

The crew gathered on the catwalk outside the shuttle's locking doors. They moved back as Zoë and Dewey stepped out. Mal went forward and looked the boy over.

"So this our new crew member?"

"It is."

Simon walked out of the shuttle and went straight to Kaylee. He kissed her hello, although they weren't apart for more than day, and then turned to check on River. She smiled her approval of his hello order, and in acknowledgement that she was fine. Simon nodded in response, and grabbed Angel's hand and shook to greet her as well.

He turned to the Captain and said, "I told Zoë it might be a good idea if she and Dewey slept down in the vacant passenger dorms for the next few weeks. It would be easier than trying to struggle with him down the ladder of her bunk."

"Prob'ly best," Mal granted.

While the grown-ups talked, Angel looked at the person in Tall Lady's arms. He was little, like she was. She had never seen anyone of comparable size before. There was the whiney being on the planet with the lady who smelled like Pretty Lady's smoking sticks, but Angel hadn't gotten a good look. This person was home with her, and she didn't know what to make of it.

He was making lots of loud noises, too, like he had a smelly, slippery diaper. Or maybe more like the time Angel got her fingers caught in a cabinet Mum-um was closing. To make it better, Mum-um stuck her fingers under cold water, kissed them, and gave her Jingle Bear. Jingle Bear was Angel's oldest friend, since the first place she'd lived, and he always made her feel better when she felt bad. All she had to do was shake him, and the pretty noise came from inside.

Angel held up her bear and asked, "Mu?"

River cocked her head at her daughter then looked at Dewey. Pretty sure she had Angel's intentions right, she walked over so that the girl could try to hand the bear to the screaming boy.

Bloodshot blue eyes opened and glared at Angel. The girl offered her Jingle Bear to Dewey. He never stopped his whining cries, but he switched his glare over to the bear.

"Oh, that's so cute!" Kaylee gushed.

Angel gurgled her invitation to partake of Jingle Bear's comfort, and after a few seconds of hesitation, Dewey accepted the bear. His face twisted in meanness, and he screeched as he pitched Jingle Bear over the rail of the catwalk. Angel watched as down, down, down the bear fell. He hit the bay floor with a jangling thud, the plastic bead nose sounding like a tiny gunshot as it echoed.

She looked at where her bear landed. She looked at Dewey. Angel started sobbing, and buried her face into her mother's neck.

Jayne, forgetting about the boy's burns in his eagerness to defend Angel, raised a hand to swat the boy's rear, and growled at Dewey, "You little twerp!"

"Jayne!" Zoë warned.

"He threw her bear," he argued.

"He's three," Kaylee said. "You can't hit a three-year-old. 'Sides, he's hurt enough as it is."

River placed a hand on Jayne's arm. "In a round of fisticuffs, you would undoubtedly win. Let it go."

He looked back at her, and let his hand relax out of its fist. "Yeah, well, that ain't the point. He shouldn't'a thrown her bear."

"I'll be sure to have a talk with him about it," Zoë snarled. "It'll have'ta be after I get done giving him a bath where I rip off the dead skin from his burns, though. Or maybe after I get done trying to explain why his own mother isn't here to hold him and tuck him in. It might even have to wait until tomorrow when he realizes he's not going home. But don't you worry, Jayne. I'll set him straight about Angel's bear."

Mal quietly took charge. "Kaylee, think you can help Zoë move some of her stuff out of her bunk and down to the Shepherd's old room?"

"Sure, Cap." She leaned up and kissed Simon's cheek before leading Zoë up the stairs to the crew's bunks.

River rubbed her chin against Angel's hair. "Let's go get Jingle Bear while Zoë and Dewey settle into their new rooms. Jayne?"

"Huh?"

"Come please?"

He shrugged. "Fine."

River wanted to give Jayne a little space from his new opponent. She thought it was sweet when Jayne jumped in to protect Angel, but his tendency to end all confrontations with force would do more damage than help in this situation. Besides, eventually Angel would need to learn to resolve her own problems, not wait for her merc-in-cargos-and-T-shirt to come to her rescue.

Once down on bay floor, Jayne bent down, and picked up Jingle Bear. He handed it to Angel, who took her bear back gladly, though she still sniffled into River's hair. "Here ya go. Now, you stay away from that lil' mini hundan. He's mean."

"He's hurt," River corrected. "His pain causes him to lash out."

"He don't gotta be lashin' out at defenseless little girls. He just met her. What in the tian xio de did Angel ever do to him? An' then everybody's lookin' at me like I'm some sorta child-beater. Wasn' gonna hurt him, just smack him around a little so he knows not to do it again. It's what my Pa always did."

River rubbed her daughter's back, but couldn't help feel Dewey's pain, whirling confusion, and deep sadness washing through the ship. "Dewey is in pain, far away from home with no family, a new mother he doesn't know, and a ship full of strangers. This is a different situation than a normal child acting cruelly to another. We must give him time."

"How much time?"

"Long as it takes."


	13. Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13

**(Language warning!**—andit's in English! Definitely not _The Vagina Monologues_ use of the word.

The city of New Dunsmuir on Beaumond held some interesting memories for the crew of _Serenity_; not all of them were the fond revisiting sort. But that was where the job was, so that was where they went. The day they touched down was spent with the usual refueling and restocking of the ship. The next afternoon, Mal, Zoë, and Jayne would go meet the contact and collect the cargo of porcelain dolls to be hand painted on Harvest. That meant the crew had the night to do what they wanted and the next morning to recuperate.

Everyone eagerly embraced the free time. Simon planned to take Kaylee out for a romantic dinner using the very last of his savings from Osiris—after this night he would be completely broke for the first time in his life. Kaylee was bouncing off of the bulkheads all day in jittery excitement, and when they finally touched down and her job was over, she ran to Inara's shuttle to beg the Companion to help her get ready. She didn't want to embarrass Simon on their first fancy date.

Inara agreed to help, although only half of her mind was on dressing Kaylee in the pretty cream slip-dress. The other half was on her own non-date with the Captain that evening. At breakfast he casually brought up the name of a semi-well-known folk singer whose face was on posters all over the docks publicizing his performance. Inara had expressed a mild interest, and they decided that they would share cab fare and the cheque at the pub where the singer would be performing.

The two resident mothers of the group were calling it an early night because of the kiddies. River and Zoë decided to take Dewey and Angel for ice cream in the nicer part of town—the part where River wouldn't be recognized for causing a bar fight—and then to a children's outdoor puppet theater. Zoë also suggested that they check to see if there was a movie they could download to watch once the little ones were tucked in bed. River loved the idea, loved being treated like an adult by at least one member of the crew, and eagerly agreed to it.

They were up on the bridge scanning the list of new releases on the Cortex. River heard the hatch of one of the bunks open. Since Kaylee and Mal were already out of there bunks, and Zoë was with her, it could only be Jayne. She craned her neck to look with a little smile of greeting on her mouth until she saw which shirt the mercenary was wearing. It was that god-awful striped thing. The one he wore when going to get some trim.

Her irises constricted, mouth tightening into a line. She sucked in breath through her nose, and spun back around in her seat.

Zoë took in River's behavior and raised her eyebrows. She looked over her shoulder to find Jayne in his whoring shirt. He locked his bunk, and glanced up at the bridge.

"Going out, Jayne?" Zoë asked.

"Managed t'save enough ta hit a decent cat house," he said. "No thanks to Mal an' that shit-fer-nothin' Paquin job a month ago."

River snorted and pulled her feet up onto the pilot's chair.

Jayne walked up the first few stairs to peek in the cockpit. "An' what're you three," he looked at Dewey sitting in the playpen with Angel, "an' the monster, doin' with yer free night?"

Dewey made a face at him. "Big hairy stinky man!"

Jayne glared down at the red-head.

"Ice cream," River reported. "Puppet theater—Punch and Judy. Then bed. Possibly a movie if Zoë and I can find one we like."

She stabbed the NEXT button on the touch screen.

Jayne wondered why she sounded weird. All stiff and mechanical-like. And she didn't turn around to look at him. River always looked a person in the eye when she talked to him—even if she didn't particularly like the person.

He raised an eyebrow and stared at the back of her head as if that would make her turn around. When she remained facing forward, he frowned. He didn't know what was wrong with her, but he didn't feel like trying to figure it out this time. She didn't look like she was going to go all killer woman again, so he figured it was okay to leave.

"Right. Well…." He nodded to Zoë, and waved to Angel who now knew what the gesture meant, and responded with, "Du-bye!" and a wave of her own.

Dewey scrunched up his little freckled face and blew a raspberry at Jayne. Jayne returned the hostile gesture by waving a knuckle sandwich. The kid was adjusting to life on the ship as his burns slowly healed. He was nicer to Angel now. He even let her play with the only slightly fire damaged toys he brought from home. But Dewey and Jayne did not get along. The boy had no fear of Jayne, and he took every opportunity to hassle the man. They had a feud going.

"You'd best be putting that fist down now," Zoë warned.

"He started it," the big man muttered as he left.

"Have a nice time," River called after him in the chilliest tone Zoë ever heard the younger woman use.

When Jayne was down the hall, safely out of earshot, Zoë said, "Sweetie, keep in mind, as nice as he is to Angel, and even to you from time to time, he's still Jayne. Don't expect too much."

"Don't expect anything." _Stab_. "I have no opinion on Jayne buying the services he feels he requires. It's just…it's not economical the way he does it! And it is hardly healthy. He stops at a whorehouse, or picks up some random woman on every terraformed rock we land on long enough for him to go get some trim. Who knows how many hundreds of credits and platinum notes he's spent by now on fleeting pleasure. Or how many communicable diseases he's contracted along the way. Man must have a small pharmacy stashed in his bunk to stave off any outbreaks."

Of course, considering all the times Jayne went to the infirmary, if Simon had found any of the more interesting strains of bacteria or viruses, he would have told her so they could laugh about it. Or, more likely, River would have picked up on her brother's knowledge. Simon would never betray doctor/patient confidentiality even if it did involve Jayne and genital herpes.

"So you don't mind that Jayne's going out tonight to find female company?" Zoë pushed.

"Probably blonde female company in the one-hundred twenty to one thirty-five weight class between the ages of twenty-five and thirty-seven." She glanced at Zoë. "Statistically speaking."

"Nope," the First Mate deadpanned. "No opinion at all."

Of course not. It was none of her concern if he paid some peroxide using tramp who painted her cosmetics on an inch thick to cover her shallow complexion, wore blouses a size too small to make her chest appear larger, and whose cunt was so loose it looked like roast beef.

_That isn't fair_, she reprimanded herself. After all, she never had an ill thought about Inara and her work. Petaline, when not focused on the painful birthing process, had been sweet, though fearful for her child's future. And even the blonde Jayne had gravitated to the instant he walked through the Heart of Gold's front door, Helen, was intelligent, and River sensed that she was a fiercely loyal friend. It was hypocritical to pardon those women for their careers but condemn the one Jayne would be with tonight.

"I don't care," she repeated softly, and pressed the NEXT button with controlled force.

&&&

Mal and Inara came back to _Serenity_ before midnight, but they ended up sitting in the galley with a bottle of engine wine for hours. They talked and reminisced as the wine and time flowed into the wee hours of the morning. Mal told Inara about growing up on Shadow. He admitted that he'd sort of liked transporting those cows for Sir Warrick Harrow because it reminded him of working on his momma's ranch as a kid. He hadn't been able to go to school everyday like the most of kids, but Lillian Reynolds made sure her son was no illiterate fool. His mother was one of the strongest, smartest women in the 'Verse, and she set a high standard for any leader, friend, or woman to come after her.

"She would'a loved this crew," he said. "Would'a even had Jayne hoppin' to. She wouldn't like of all the jobs we took, but I think she'd be proud of the work we done."

"What happened to her?" Inara asked.

"Not entirely sure." Mal rotated his mug of wine between his hands. "I enlisted after the Alliance made its all-mighty presence known by outlawing the Founder's Day Festival—said that one planet in the Alliance was as good as the next, and that our founders were the founders of every world spinnin' since we all come from the same place. About two years later I got sent home to fight…an' it wasn't the place I grew up. It was cratered and gray, an' there wasn' a soul around that wasn't in uniform. I never got word of what happened to her."

Inara placed her hand on his arm. "I'm so sorry, Mal."

"Yeah, well…long time ago. What about you?"

"Me?"

"I told you my sad story. You tell me yours."

"I, uh…. You know most of it already, I think," she confessed. "I was an accident, my mother hates me, I got pregnant a year into my journeymanship as a Companion, I lost the baby, and so I decided to come out into the Black, and met you. The rest you've been present for."

Mal downed the last of his wine and poured more into his mug. "Here's what I don't understand, 'Nara. If you got such issues with your mother, why'd you become a Companion in the first place?"

"At first it was because the world of the Companion was the only thing I'd ever known. Then I wanted to please my mother because I foolishly believed I could earn her love by following in her footsteps. But…." She stared down at the rough wood her fingernail traced. "But it started to become something that I enjoyed—and, no, not just the sex."

Mal closed his mouth, and smirked. "I was just gonna say—"

"Well, don't," she warned. "Being a Companion was never about sex to me. Or rather, it wasn't about selling sex for the sake of sex."

Inara took a breath and wondered exactly what she did find so—to use an unfortunate, though applicable, word—satisfying about her job. She had never actually tried to explain it before. "I've always seen my job as a way to help people with their problems. Sometimes a client is so busy in the outside world, so much responsibility on his or her shoulders, that they stop taking care of their own needs. They end up with an enormous amount of anxiety and tension, and I help them relax, if only for a night, and give them comfort.

"Or, I've taken clients who are still virgins at what is socially seen as an advanced age, and I initiate him into sexual adulthood. I help these young men gain confidence, and teach them respect for their partner so that when they encounter their bride or a lover who is a virgin they can be gentle and patient with her, and give the pleasure that they received.

"And sometimes all a client really needs is to talk, and sex is a way to help them relax and open up. Companions hear more than their fare share of secrets in pillow talk. We hear out a client's fears and insecurities, their dilemmas and their great ideas, and we council the person and help them to reach a healthy conclusion. That's why I like my job, Mal. I like helping people."

"I still don't understand it," he admitted. "Call me old fashioned, but I don't understand how you can have sex with someone and not have feelings for that person."

"Like you did with Nandi?"

Mal straightened his spine. Nandi had been a hell of a woman. She was like him in more ways than one, and that may have been why he'd slept with her that night before the showdown. Nandi was like a female version of himself, and he knew that was a bad combination for long-term bliss, but for a night it was just fine. Also, he'd been stung by Inara's distance, so he wanted to have sex with someone who was emotionally distant.

"I can't rightly acc—"

"Or how about Saffron?"

"I didn't—!"

"You were going to."

He rubbed his thumb across his forehead. "I don't know what you want me to say, 'Nara. The Saffron-Yolanda-whoever thing was a lapse in judgment and me spending a long gorram time not havin' had any decent female companionship." He winced at his word choice. "And with Nandi, it was…I think it was both of us tryin' to find _you_ in the other, and in neither case did it work."

"Mal…" she whispered.

"Just tell me what you want from me, Inara."

What did she want from him?

She licked her lips. "I want you to respect my reasons for being a Companion even if you don't understand them. I want you to stop making fun of my clients and their needs. I want you to _stop_ calling me a whore."

"Wish I could promise you all that, but we both know it'd be a lie. But I'll try, 'Nara. I will try," he said as he leaned forward.

"I wouldn't expect anything less," she agreed coming forward to meet him. "Mal?"

"Hm?"

"I want you to kiss me."

"Now that one I can do."

As first kisses go, this was technically the second. But Mal didn't know that as he had been unconscious for the real first, so he took his sweet time. He let his mouth hover over hers and finally dip down to cover first her top lip then her bottom. Inara let him take the lead at first, but realized that was the way she responded to clients. This was Mal.

She threaded her fingers through his hair and pulled him closer, her lips parted to invite his tongue inside, and Mal entered with enthusiasm. He never enjoyed dancing so much as with this one woman.

A great clang from the stairwell interrupted them. Mal leapt up, and reached for his sidearm. Kaylee's muffled giggle and the doctor's cursing, and subsequent apologies, drifted up to the mess. The giddy couple tumbled into the hallway a moment later. Mal crossed his arms, and cleared his throat before Simon had a chance to stick his tongue back down Kaylee's.

"Have a nice dinner?"

They jumped and Simon's ears turned red.

Kaylee grinned. "Very nice. Extremely nice. Fantastic! I ate so much I thought I was gonna bust, and there were about a million forks Simon had t'tell me when to use. It was great. And now we're going to bed. See ya in the mornin'."

"Goodnight," Inara said.

"'Night!" Kaylee waved.

Inara noticed a glint of light and called out, "Kaylee!"

The mechanic spun around, her brows raised. Inara waved the fingers of her left hand with a quizzical raise of her own brow. Kaylee smiled.

"Sh! We're announcing it tomorrow at breakfast."

"Announcing what?" Mal asked.

Simon opened his mouth, but Kaylee grabbed his arm and dragged him down the hall. They were down in her bunk with the hatch closed before Mal could repeat the question.

"Announce wha—Hey!" He turned to Inara. "Announce what?"

She sighed in despair at his cluelessness. "Oh, Mal."

"Did he….Did they…?" Mal sputtered pointing down the hall. "That…they…ring! He proposed, didn't he? And she said yes! I don't recall him asking my permission."

"You're not her father, Mal!"

"But I'm the captain! An' you can bet if he didn' ask me, who's right here on the very same ship as him, he surely didn' wave her daddy to ask _his_ permission to marry his baby girl." Mal frowned at Kaylee's hatch door. "They're gonna be loud all night. Not gonna get a lick a'sleep."

Inara shook her head. She stood up, and stepped to Mal's side. She kissed his cheek and murmured, "Goodnight, Mal."

He grunted still glaring at the bunk next to his own. When Inara started to leave, he called after her, "Don't suppose I could sleep with you tonight?"

"Don't push it, Mal," she teased.

"Come on, 'Nara. You've slept with—" He slammed his lips shut and swallowed the bile-tasting comment back down. "Sorry 'bout that. Seems I can't even go five minutes."

She smiled, and walked back to him. "You didn't say it, though. You're making progress."

"Progress is good."

He smiled as he bent forward to kiss her again. It was as slow and testing as the previous one, but though she wanted to stay and explore this new development in their relationship further, Inara inched away after only a moment's contact. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah. We got that big announcement to hear."

"Goodnight."

"'Night."

He watched her walk out, and smiled when she turned her head for one last look before she rounded the corner. He hooked his thumbs through his suspender straps and walked to his bunk. Hopefully the steel of the bulkheads would keep most of the sound next door, out of his room.

&&&

By seven am, River was wide awake. The Academy had trained her to function on minimal sleep, so her restless three and a half hours would be enough to get her through the day.

With a sigh, she kicked off her blankets, but couldn't bring herself to get up yet. She'd lain awake for hours that night tossing and turning while she tried to put her mind on mute. She told herself one hundred and twelve times to stop thinking about the lummox, and go to sleep. But every time she thought she found a comfortable position, she started to wonder what Jayne was doing. What did tonight's entrée look like? Did he go straight to the nearest bordello, or did he stop to drink and play a few hands of cards first? Maybe there was a woman at the bar he stopped at, and he got a room with her—sex free of charge.

Every time she caught her mind dwelling on him, River called herself a big idiot. It was none of her business. After all, she was never bothered by the sexual habits of the other members of the crew. Not that they ever knew, nor would River ever tell them, but she had peeked in on some of _Serenity's_ couples private endeavors physically or psychically. Purely for educational purposes, of course.

Everyone had their kinks, she reasoned. Voyeurism was hers. River wondered if Jayne had any kinks. If she had to guess, she'd bet he liked being dominated. He probably enjoyed it when his partner forced him into the subordinate position.

And there she went thinking about him again!

River rolled out of bed with a frustrated groan. If she was awake, she might as well start the day. She checked on Angel before heading down to the bathroom to use the toilet facilities and brush her teeth. The baby was still asleep, but River could almost guarantee that her daughter would be awake by the time she returned. Whether it was budding intuitive abilities or simply a baby's natural ability to know when her mother was awake, River couldn't decide, but Angel was always awake just before or just after she herself awoke.

Adhering to tradition, when River returned from the head, Angel was sitting up in her crib rubbing her eyes. "Morning, cherub."

"Mum-um-ah."

"Did you have happy dreams?" River asked as she reached in and lifted the girl out. They chatted with each other while River changed her daughter's diaper, and dressed her in a mint green checkered one-piece with a bunny on the front. River didn't bother to put shoes on the girl as Angel had inherited River's opinion that life was better in bare feet.

River sat the girl on her still unmade bed while she went to find something to wear. There was nothing. She had the body of a stick insect, and everything she owned hung on her like drapes. River shook her head, grabbed her white cotton robe, and put it on over her tank-top and pajama pants. There was no use getting dressed today.

She lifted Angel down from the bed and held her hands to let her toddle out of the room and over to the stairs by the infirmary. River carried her up the two flights to the galley because those stairs weren't the safest for a new walker. She never noticed how many sharp corners, steep inclines, and hazardous drops there were on _Serenity_ until Angel took her first wobbling steps headed straight for the nearest stairwell.

Mal was already awake and sitting at the table in the mess with his coffee and a glass of instant orange juice when River led Angel in. "What are the Tam girls doing up so early on their morning off?"

"Not the only Tam girls anymore," River read from him. "Not for long. Simon proposed at dinner last night."

"Did you know he was gonna do that?" the Captain demanded.

"Helped him rehearse," she admitted with a cheeky grin. "He didn't ask first because he was worried someone would let his intentions slip and ruin the surprise for Kaylee. Worried that she would say no, and he would look foolish."

"As if little Kaylee would'a said no to him," he mumbled.

"That's what I said," River said as she buckled Angel into her highchair. As she went to the pantry for the baby cereal and small jars of processed fruit, she asked, "How was your evening with Inara?"

"You askin' 'cause you don't know or 'cause this is one of those things you wanna hear aloud?"

"To speak a thing aloud is to acknowledge its existence," River intoned. "Like Jayne saying my name instead of calling me 'girl.'"

She made a face at herself as she pulled the cereal off its shelf. Why did she have to keep coming back to him all the sudden?

"Well then, yes, we had a nice time," the Captain conceded. "Sat out here at the table for a while, talked…."

River giggled as she exited the pantry, and said, "Smoochies."

Mal looked down at the table thinking it was stupid that he was embarrassed by the girl's childish teasing.

The lovebirds walked in, and hearing River's laughter, Kaylee asked, "What's so funny? Did we miss something?"

"Captain and Inara had smoochies!" River announced as she skipped over the sink to mix Angel's milk and cereal.

The mechanic squealed. "Oh! You didn't tell us there were smoochies!"

"You interrupted the smoochies," River said.

Kaylee playfully smacked Simon's shoulder. "See? I told'ja you should've stopped kissing me and watched where you were going!"

"I'm terribly sorry," the Doctor quipped. "I don't know what I was thinking."

Angel added her two cents in a giggling squeal, and pounded her hands against the tray of her high chair. River and Kaylee laughed, and Simon chuckled while he poured himself a cup of coffee.

A buzz came over the com followed by Jayne's voice. "Hey, I'm back. Somebody let me in."

Grateful for the interruption, Mal hopped up and headed for the bridge to opened the lock on the inner door, but Zoë's voice crackled over the intercom before he reached the hall. "I got it."

The squeak of the hinges on the steel door followed a second later. With a huff, Mal took his seat again while the two women discussed River's sudden hatred of every article of clothing she owned, and the Doctor made breakfast. Inara strolled in a second later, and smiled warmly to the crew gathered in the mess to hide her disappointment. She was hoping that everyone would still be asleep so that she would get some time alone with Mal.

"Good morning." She greeted them, and when she received River's knowing smile and Kaylee's grin in return, she asked, "Did I miss something?"

"Cap'n and 'Nara, sittin' in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Kaylee sang.

Inara's cheeks pinked, and she looked at Mal. He shook his head pointing at River. Of course. It was the resident psychic that leaked the news of their ended stalemate.

Tromping on the stairs behind her prompted Inara to move farther into the room so that Jayne, Zoë, and Dewey could enter. Zoë looked around the room before she led Dewey to the chair that supported his booster seat. "What's everyone doing up so early?"

"I wondered the same thing," Inara admitted. "I thought the crew would take advantage of their morning off by sleeping in."

Jayne shrugged and headed to the lounge area to settle into one of the bucket-seated crash chairs.

"I wanted to sleep," Zoë said as she headed for the coffee pot. "Dewey wouldn't let me."

"'S brefest!" the boy said. "Gotta eat brefest at brefest time."

"I was too exited to sleep in, so I dragged Simon up here," Kaylee said linking her arm with Simon's, and grinning up at him as he smiled down at her. "We got an announcement—though most of ya already know."

Simon cleared his throat. "We—uh…I asked, and she said…."

"We're gettin' married!" she squealed.

Since Mal and Inara knew about it since last night, and River had helped her brother practice what he was going to say, the only two who were announced to were Zoë and Jayne. Zoë gave the couple a sad smile remembering her wedding with Wash. Jayne raised his eyebrows, and mumbled a congratulations.

Kaylee started talking about her dream wedding as Simon brought two plates of scrambled eggbeaters and facon over to the table. "And I want the whole crew to be in the wedding! 'Nara, I was hopin' you'd be my Maid-of-Honor?"

"Of course, sweetie. I'm flattered." Inara returned the hug when Kaylee threw her arms around her shoulders.

"And since we can't go back to Osiris to ask any of Simon's old friends to be Best Man, would you mind doin' it, Cap'n?" Kaylee asked.

Simon choked on a bite looking caught. This was the first that he'd thought about who was going to stand as his Best Man since he had only gotten engaged eight hours ago. He cleared his throat, and took a drink of coffee while he thought it over. Mal _was_ sort of like a mean, slightly abusive older brother, so it kind of made sense to choose him. Simon tugged on his ear as he stammered, "Wu—uh, would you mind?"

Mal preened. "Sure, Doc, I'll stand up with ya. Does this mean I'm in charge of the bachelor party?"

"And makin' sure my groom gets to the altar," Kaylee warned. "That makes Jayne a groomsman, and Angel—my niece-to-be!—the flower girl, and Dewey will be the ring bearer, and River and Zoë as bridesmaids. Actually, I was thinkin' ya might wanna walk with the kids down the aisle so they don't get scared, and so they go the direction they're supposed to. They're still pretty little."

"That's a reasonable request," River agreed, and Zoë nodded her consent.

"Oh, I haven't told you the best part yet! I already know what the colors for the wedding are going to be. White, of course, and yellow!"

The women's faces fell. Zoë and River looked to Inara to talk Kaylee out of it. Inara nodded and held up her hand; she'd take care of it. "Kaylee, mei-mei, we have a while to plan, I'm sure. Let's review our options before you decide on anything so…unique."

"But I like yellow."

"It's a lovely color, mei-mei, and there are shades we can work with. We'll look through some bridal magazines this evening, how about that?"

River tuned out the rest of Kaylee and Inara's conversation as she finished feeding Angel. Or, rather, she occasionally helped Angel direct the spoon to her mouth since she could nearly feed herself now. It was still messy, but at least the majority got into her mouth, now. It freed River up to glance over at Jayne more often.

He looked tired and his clothes were wrinkled. Long exhausting night, obviously. River could almost smell the cheap, isopropyl-based perfume from her seat at the table. She squeezed her eyes shut in attempt to defend herself from the inkling of comprehension that brushed at the edges of her mind. Maybe she did know why his sex habits bothered her. She wasn't ready to accept it yet, but she was forming a hypothesis against her will.

"River? Are you all right?" Zoë asked.

Her eyes snapped open, head came up, and she turned to the First Mate. "Yes. Fine. Just thinking."

Zoë frowned, and glanced back at Jayne who was now, grunting, rising from his chair.

"I'm goin' to shower an' change. What time we meetin' for the job?"

"'Bout thirteen hundred," Mal said.

"See ya then."

Jayne went to his bunk, stripped, and stepped into the tiny shower stall in the front corner of his bunk. When the hot water hit his shoulders he groaned. That mattress at Kitty's Cat Corner was lumpy as all hell. He hadn't minded it so much during the main event, but afterwards he couldn't find a comfortable spot to save his life. Though lumpy mattresses hadn't bothered him much before. Maybe his body was getting more sensitive as he aged, because even after three rounds of romping in short order, Jayne couldn't fall asleep.

Jayne was known in Kitty's place, as well as many others, as a schedule-clearer, and he was proud to live up to his reputation. Where other men would go in and spend their paid hour in having their own needs met, Jayne liked to take his time so that everybody was happy at the end of the session. And, admittedly, he liked having something or someone to hold onto while he slept, so he specially requested women who didn't mind cuddling with customers. Except he'd spent most of last night tossing, and this morning he'd been so antsy he rolled out of bed as soon as the sun came up, got dressed, thanked Lydie for a good time, paid her, and headed back to _Serenity_.

He must have just been more wound up than he thought. It had been a while since he got any sexing. He shut the water off, and stepped out to dry off, mentally planning his day. Since he still had the morning free, he wondered what River and Angel were going to do. Maybe he'd tag along with them.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

facon fake + bacon This word was, as far as I know, originally used in Rayne fanon by Michmack in her _Little Things_ series. It ain't mine, but I had to use it, because it's so apt. All rights belong to her, though.

Footnote: WHERE ARE THE SHOWERS? Am I the only one that worries about how the crew bathed? No one seems to have a concrete answer, and Taramonk's sister's advice was to put a shower in wherever I wanted one, so I put a small stall in each bunk and the water supply is rationed, along with _Serenity_ having a damn fine filtration system thanks to Ms. Kaywinnet Lee Frye, soon to be Kaylee Tam.

Mrs. Kaylee Tam.

Mrs. Dr. Simon Tam

D


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

(**Continuity Note: **While I've tried to follow the series, movie, book, and Virtual Season 2 in many ways, I have a different idea of Kaylee's family than the one presented in the VS2 episode 4, _Homecoming_. Most sorry to anyone who was hoping for a revival of the River/Finn relationship, or a love triangle. Although, anyone who wants to write that triangle, I'd read it. )

Simon and Kaylee WAVED the Frye family to tell them the good news after breakfast the day they announced their engagement to the crew. Kaylee's Pa asked to speak to Simon alone, and the Doctor spent more than an hour on the bridge trying to convince Theodore Frye that he was good enough to marry his youngest daughter. Simon hadn't been that nervous since he was in front of the Osiris Medical Board to give a presentation on an experimental new drug being used in triage to stem internal hemorrhaging.

He answered dozens of questions about how he and Kaylee met, where he was from, what kind of work he did, what kind of people his family were, and how he planned on supporting Kaylee. Simon told as much of the truth as he could without mentioning his previous wanted status. If Mr. Frye was apprehensive about letting his little girl marry the medic on a transport ship, he would definitely be against to her wedding a former fugitive. But, at the end of the interrogation, Mr. Frye grudgingly accepted Simon into the family—on the condition that the couple has their wedding at the Colbert-Frye farmstead on Harvest. Of course, Simon agreed.

The crew had two jobs to compete before they could head out to the far Rim. One was legal, the other not so much. After the second job, the crew needed at least another six weeks for Mal's leg wound, Zoë's sprained wrist, and the long cut on Jayne's side to heal. River got a busted lip in defense of the Mule which the perfidious buyers were trying to steal, but she mended more quickly than the others.

In the hectic three months before her brother's wedding, River divided her time between flying, taking shifts with Zoë to entertain Angel and Dewey, and helping Inara and Kaylee plan the nuptial day. She also added a new step to her morning toiletry routine: use the head, wash hands, brush teeth, wash face, brush hair, and remind the girl in the mirror that her _friend_—emphasis on friend—was simply that. To entertain any notion of deeper regard was to set herself up for disappointment and heartache.

This speech helped to squash any fluffy feelings she might have woken up with, and helped her resolve to treat the mercenary with the same platonic friendliness that she treated the Captain. This resolve usually lasted most of the day depending on how much time she spent around Jayne. On days when she sat alone on the bridge plotting the least direct route from point A to B while Zoë took her turn watching the kids, or when she was cloistered away in Inara's shuttle with the Companion and Kaylee to help design the seating arrangements for the reception, River could keep Jayne in the "Friend" category until dinner.

It was on the days that River sat in the mess or lounge or lower common room when it was her turn to watch the two toddlers, and Jayne tried to teach Angel how to shoot the little orange water gun he bought her the last time they hit the Space Bazaar while trading insults with Dewey that were harder. It didn't matter if he said something stupid or sweet to her, was a grouch or acted friendly; it only mattered that he was in the room, looked her in the face when he talked _to_ her, not around her. On those days, River was lucky if she wasn't a bumbling, blushing wreck by lunch time. On those days, River seriously considered putting a bullet in one or the other of them.

&&&

The crew called Kaylee's family when they were a few hours away to let them know they were nearly there. When Serenity touched down, a bevy of Frye's surrounded the mechanic. Martha Colbert-Frye pulled her youngest into a tight hug. Her three older sister, Emma Lynn, Marah, and Amy, added their embraces after their mother released her. Ted Frye and his three sons, Timothy, Nolan, and Ronnie, took their turns at hugging the littlest Frye last. Then there were Kaylee's brothers-in-law and one sister-in-law to hug, and finally her nieces and nephews to greet.

Simon was a little overwhelmed when his fiancée's family members moved from her to him to for a hug hello. He and River were the only children in the Dickson-Tam family. There were no cousins, nor even aunts or uncles to greet on holidays. The most expressive family member they'd had was their maternal grandfather, but he was a businessman until the day he died, and was often called away from family gatherings after an hour or so. The Frye's were more fixed in their loving presence.

And what a presence it was. For the next two weeks until the wedding date, the entire town seemed to be in on the preparations. The tailor in Old Town was in a tizzy hemming the groomsmen's trousers and cuffs. The bridal shop in New Town, the section established by the Alliance after the war to modernize the planet, and to help boost Harvest's economy, had a joyful fit over the long sundress style bridesmaids' dresses, each in a slightly different shade of yellow to best compliment the maid who would be wearing it. And through it all, the Frye clan acted as both familial focus and driving force.

The evening before the wedding, the men kidnapped Simon and took to a bar in Old Town. As the men pulled her brother away into the twilight, River saw the conspiratory glance exchanged between Mal and Ted Frye over the groom's head. She sighed with a half smile tugging at her mouth. The prank was juvenile, but the effect would be what the two men planned. Poor Simon. And then Poor Mal and Mr. Frye because Kaylee was going to skin them if Simon was late tomorrow.

Soon after the males departed, the bridesmaids gathered together to head over to New Town. There was a karaoke bar, and Kaylee's childhood best friend and bridesmaid, Xiu Mei, worked there. She had the best tables near the stage reserved for the bridal party. River tried to beg out at first, but Mrs. Frye assured her that she would watch Angel and Dewey as long as the girls were out. They wouldn't be the only children in the big farm house that night. Kaylee's sisters were leaving their little ones in the capable hands of their mother. She even managed to earn a place in the unnaturally cynical Dewey's heart by immediately offering cookies and milk and a night of kid-vids while the Mommies took Kaylee out for her bachelorette party.

The girls spent the night talking, laughing, singing, and drinking. _Serenity's_ crewmembers weren't sure whether River ought to have any alcohol despite eighteen being the legal drinking age since she was on depressive "medication." But River assured them that her meds were designed not to interact with any other drug: over-the-counter, prescription, or recreational. She also noted that this was not the first time she'd had an alcoholic beverage. Her parents let her have wine with dinner when she was as young as seven. And as a glass of red wine was what she would be having tonight, she felt no qualms whatsoever about drinking.

At the height of the evening, the Frye sisters were giddily inebriated; Zoë was freed up by a nice Long Island Iced Tea buzz; Inara, who would not let herself get drunk, felt warm and comfy thanks to her cranberry juice and rum; and River shed the mousish demeanor she'd cultivated as a child for self-preservation, and talked animatedly on any subject with her brain frequently running ahead of her mouth so that she stumbled over her slurring words. So it was with great hilarity and much tone deafness that the Kaylee Frye Bachelorette Party took the stage to sing the centuries-old karaoke classic—the one song that every machine came preprogrammed with regardless of make, model, or language—"I Will Survive."

By two am, the girls were stumbling home. Inara took the lead and punched in the security code on Serenity's bay door since Zoë was having some focusing problems. As she followed the number pattern Mal taught her, Inara couldn't keep the silly grin of happiness off her face.

Zoë held onto the doorframe as she entered and then the cargo crates once she cleared the door. "I ssthi…I _th_ink I need ta go get some water."

"I'll spot you going up the stairs," Inara said. "Just in case."

"S'a good idea."

Kaylee and River giggled at nothing and collapsed against a crate. After she caught her breath, Kaylee leaned her shoulder against River's, and said, "Hey. I's gonna go see if my Simon, my groom, my Simon-groom's in his room. Uh'kay?"

"M'kay."

River watched her stumble off toward the passenger dorms. She giggled when Kaylee tripped on the bottom stair. When the other girl disappeared, River let her feet slide out from under her and sat down on the cold grating. She stayed there, humming at the ceiling, for who knew how long—a few minutes, a half hour…time was moving in odd ways for River. If she could only get her brain to cooperate, she would try to do the math, but whenever she tried to concentrate on quantum theorems she found herself humming "My Darling Clementine."

Jayne's face appeared above her. "You drunk, too?"

She grinned. "Jayne!"

"Huh. You, too."

"Me, too, what? What was th' question?"

"You're drunk."

"I hade one glass…" she fumbled with her fingers to hold up universal number one, "one glass of wine."

"Yeah, an' I'm a flyin' monkey."

"I did! I had one glass. Glass held wine. Not my fault th' waiter kept refilling it. He thought he could get th' pretty girl drunk and she would have sex with him."

Jayne frowned at the thought of some jackass waiter trying to get River to sleep with him. Couldn't he get women when they were sober, or was he so hideous he needed their vision blurred before they'd take a second look? There was another option, but if the tamade húndan used the alcohol haze to make it harder for the women to run or fight back, he'd hunt him down and beat him so bad he'd be begging for death by the time Jayne got done with him just on principle.

River laughed. "Ha! Showed him."

"What'ja show him?"

"Tried to cop a feel. I punched him. Nose went _crunch_! Two black eyes with one stone."

Now that was the little _xiong can sha shou_ he knew. Jayne grinned as he offered her a hand up. "Come on, little girl, up ya go."

"Not little!" River complained as he hauled her to her feet. "On th' tall side of average." She poked him on the nose. "So there. Where are we going?"

"To get you some water so's tomorrow ain't so bad for ya."

River rubbed her forehead trying to think through the wine. "Water. Alcohol dehydrates. A hangover is like dying of thirst. Water in th' system abates alcohols negative effects."

"That's the thought." He planted his hand between her shoulder blades and pushed her towards the stairs. They made it up to the first landing in good condition, but River started to sway a little, and Jayne moved his hand from her back to her waist to stead her. Such a tiny little waist, but she wasn't without curves. Most of her clothes were baggy enough to hide them, was all.

_Not that blue dress,_ a whisper in his head reminded him. The sight of her running down that corridor, diving into the Reaver-filled outer room, and then being dragged backwards while she reached out for help followed the devilish little voice.

He and Zoë had both tried to lunge for her hands to pull her inside to safety, but they couldn't get there in time. He remembered looking back at Zoë, her clear soldier's expression marred with failure; Inara had one hand raised toward the doors and the other pressed down on the Doc's stomach to try and keep Simon from bleeding out. The echo of Kaylee's helpless sob drifted through his brain.

And then those doors opened when the Alliance techs finally managed to override the locking code. There she was in the middle of some thirty dead Reavers—it could have been five and it would have been no less impressive. At first he thought she was a ghost or a Reaver herself what with the way she stood ready for the next attack, her breathing fast, and her hair in matted locks from her sweat and the blood she'd spilled. When the back wall was ripped out, the light framed her like wings, Jayne thought maybe she'd become the Angel of Death. Maybe they were all really dead, and that was what Hell looked like.

River whimpered at his side and buried her face against him. "Please stop. Bad day. It was a bad day for everyone. Shh. No more."

"Sorry. You're right. Sorry."

River nodded and let herself be nudged up the long stairwell. Actually, except for Jayne thinking too hard about Reavers and Death, she wasn't feeling too bad. She was buoyed up by a nice floating feeling; nothing hurt or felt bad. And then there was Jayne all warm and solid by her side with is arm across her back, his hand at the dip of her waist. All she had to do was slow her pace and she could feel the press of his bicep and forearm, and his hand tightened on her middle. She only had to turn her head the slightest bit to breathe him in—cigar smoke, whiskey, gun oil, sweat, and the toe curling hint of the pumpkin spice in Jayne's shaving soap. And it had to be shaving soap, she reasoned. Jayne wasn't the kind of man to bother with aftershave or cologne.

"Dewey is so wrong," River announced. She opened her eyes, and was surprised to find herself in the hall outside the mess.

"How's that?" Jayne asked as he guided her down the four steps into the kitchen space.

She stumbled down, and used that as an excuse to put her nose into the bend of his neck. "Don't stink at all. You smell so good."

Jayne felt his eyes widen, and he tensed up. His mouth obeyed the little used sensible part of his brain, and opened to tell the girl to get off. This was all manner of _levels_ of bad. Unfortunately, his hands were listening to the part of his brain that only registered three things: warm, soft, willing; and they tightened their grip: one on her waist, the other on her upper arm where he'd put them to help steady her when she tripped.

Luckily, River took the decision on whether to shove her away or back her up to the kitchen table out of his hands by voluntarily stepping away from him to see him better. She had her know-it-all face on, and asked, "Did'ju know that humans have terrible se'ses of smell? Bad. Awful. Not good."

"Yeah? Ain't that somethin'?" Jayne shook off the disappointment that crept over him. He grabbed her arm and dragged her to the sink while she babbled on about the human sense of smell.

"Maybe the worst in th' animal kingdom save for…for…" she giggled, "I dunno, snails or somethin'. Oh! Jayne!" River rounded on him with a sniggering, conspiratorial expression on her pretty face as if she was about to share the 'Verse's funniest secret. "Snails bounce! Escargot. _Boing_! Off th' senator's head and into th' punch bowl."

Her bubbling giggles grew to waves of laughter that had River doubled over and hanging onto the edge of the sink counter to keep herself upright. The laughter stopped, and her eyes widened. She had a second to turn her face to the sink before she threw up.

"Saw that comin'," Jayne muttered. He reached out with one hand to gather up a few locks of hair that were too close to her face, and held them back without getting too close to her or the sink. Ew.

River puked over and over until it was all dry heaves, and even then her stomach tried to find something to expel from her. She didn't feel floaty anymore. She didn't feel good and pain-free. She felt like regurgitated _gó se_. When she finally calmed her gag reflex, River was happy to let Jayne direct her to a chair. Now, however, she was busy keeping her skull attached to her brain. There were little jackhammers inside that were trying to liberate the gray matter.

River sunk down in the chair Jayne pulled out, and a moment later, he returned with a glass of water that he sat on the table next to her arm. "Drink slow."

River's hands shook as she lifted the glass. Sip by sip, she washed away the awful taste of bile. Sip by sip, she felt just a little better. Not great, but not vomitous, either. Anything that wasn't puking was better. So much so that her brain felt able to start working again, although she was really going to have to do something about that pounding eventually.

Now that she had the ability, River could see the true oddness of what was going on. It wasn't her alcoholic binge. It wasn't the déjà vu of Jayne caring for her in the mess late at night. She frowned hard at the man sitting in front of her.

"What?"

"You're here."

Oh, boy. She was so drunk she thought she had hallucinated him. "Yep, I'm here. I'm not a figment of your 'magination."

Her frown turned into a scowl. "No. I mean, you're here, and sober, and not out there—" she gestured toward the nose of the ship with her glass and sloshed water on the floor—"somewhere, all naked and sweaty and having sex with some _jian huo_."

Jayne blushed slightly, though it was as much from annoyance as embarrassment. He did not want to hear River talk like that about his…activities. Not that he'd had any activities tonight. He'd been too busy watching the Doc get trashed knowing that if anything happened to him, the girl or Little Kaylee would kill someone—likely Mal or him—for not stopping it. Besides, shit, he did have some self-control!

"Somebody had to stay sober," he grumbled. "Your bother was three sheets to the wind in a couple'a hours. Mal was only 'bout a half a sheet an' a washcloth behind him. Should'a seen the father of the bride blubberin' in the corner, an' two'a Kaylee's brothers was passed out on the floor still strugglin' to keep hold of the stripper's panties."

"Panties?" River asked. "Is that part of th' usual routine?"

Jane flashed a highwayman's grin. "Nope."

She scowled again, and grumbled under her breath. Jayne caught some colorful names directed at himself and figured he probably ought to do something to fix it because he did not want her not talking to him for a week again, and him not knowing what he did to piss her off.

"Should'a seen your brother's face," he said, and hoped this would coax a smile out of her. "I seen him get flustered before, but I ain't never seen anybody get that red. I thought he was gonna pass out or somethin'."

River couldn't help the laugh. It hurt, but she could almost see the look on her _ge-ge_'s face when presented with the traditional stripper at his bachelor party. She pressed the heel of her palm to her forehead while she chuckled. "Heh-heh—ow. Heh-heh-heh-heh…ow."

Jayne snorted a laugh, and leaned back in his seat. "So, how'd the women-folk do at Kaylee's little shindig?"

"Good. No stripper, but lo's of singing." A sudden throb made River wince. She closed her eyes and moaned.

"You need to go sleep it off."

"Can't yet. Gotta go get Angel from th' house. She'll be scared if she's not here and I'm not there in th' morning."

"You go sleep. I'll go get Angel for ya in the mornin'."

"Really?"

"Yeah, sure," he promised, but then frowned at himself. It wasn't like him to do things for other people, and he couldn't figure out why he'd started with River. It must be for Angel, he reasoned. It was easy to promise to do things for a baby.

"Thank you, Jayne." River stood up, wobbled, and had to use both hands on the table to steady herself.

Jayne sighed. "How 'bout I go with ya to make sure you don't fall an' die?"

"That…may be good. Yes, I think that is very much sensible."

Jayne held onto her arm on the way down to the passenger dorms to keep her from slipping. An arm around the waist was only steadying when you're both fighting gravity to climb. When going down, you had to make friends with gravity, and having someone that close to you was more a hindrance than a help. And Jayne wasn't sure he wanted to be that close to her again after her little smelling comment.

Jayne noticed the door to the Doc's room was open when they neared the Tams' rooms. Mindful of his duty as only capable watcher over _Serenity_ that night, he pulled the girl to a stop, and stepped in front of her. One hand on Boo, he glanced into the room to find Kaylee passed out cold on Simon's empty bed. Jayne stifled his laughed, and motioned River forward.

After taking a look at what Jayne found so funny, River sighed and said, "She'll be very angry tomorrow when she hears 'bout wha' they did. Very angry."

"Yeah…hey! You knew?" Jayne sputtered. "An' ya didn' stop 'em?"

River dragged the sliding door of her room open and stepped over the threshold. "Didn't wanna spoil th' s'prise."

He watched her stumble over to her bed and flop down on it. She kicked off her size-too-big combat boots with a nasty face and stuck her tongue out at them before she curled up in a ball. Jayne took pity on her, and walked over to pull River's blanket up around her. He was about to move away when she caught his wrist.

"Jayne," she whispered. "I know you."

"Yeeeeah, I know you, too, River. We live on the same boat. Kinda hard to be strangers."

"No, I mean…I know you, what you are, what you're not. Cold-blooded, single-minded mercenary. Not a hero. Not a good man."

Jayne was about to ask her what the hell brought this on. He hated to admit it, but she kind of hurt his feelings. Not that he wasn't all of those things, but he didn't want her thinking of him like that. Everyone else could. He didn't mind that, the better to scare them with—but not River. Which was silly since she was the one who could see into his brain and knew exactly what kind of man he was.

But then River smiled soft and drowsy with drink. "But you're not _so_ bad. Not so bad as you want people to think. Not so bad as I thought. I even kinna…." Her eyelids fluttered down, but she forced them back up. "You're not so bad."

River pulled her hand off of his arm and curled it next to her cheek. She was fast asleep not knowing what she'd done.

This time, one of the sparks she struck off him flew deep inside his chest, caught on the dry tinder of his heart, and started glowing. It was small, so small, Jayne was afraid to breathe for a second. He didn't know what would happen if he did. Would it burn out, kindle further, or would it turn into a brush fire and leave nothing of him but burnt flesh? Best not to risk it.

Breath held, he backed away, stepped into the hall, and closed the door behind him. He glanced at Kaylee and figured that she was fine exactly how she was.

&&&

_Jayne was looking at beams of sunlight on the floor. He could tell he was in a whorehouse by the flickering porno captures mounted on the walls, the big bed he currently laid in, and the naked woman by his side. He grinned and turned his head to look at her just in time to find the blonde woman roll over so that he couldn't see her face. He didn't mind; after all, her job was done here, so he climbed out of bed already dressed and headed down stairs to the cargo bay._

_Wash was there, and he and Zoë had just announced that they were expecting. The crew was so happy, congratulating them, and not thinking about the job. Shepherd Book stood over in the corner holding a service for fallen soldiers, and when he looked up at Jayne descending the stairs, he scowled at him. Hurt that the Shepherd would look at him so wrongly, and not knowing what he did to deserve it, Jayne ducked his head, and climbed into the Mule and waited for Mal. The two of them rode out to where the deal was going down. _

_The world erupted into gun fire and shouted curses. Jayne dropped to the ground, and found himself back in the cathouse. The sunlight on the floor was bright. He turned to look at the woman next to him as she turned her face away. He frowned, but rolled out of bed, and headed down to the bay because he knew there was a job waiting. Wash and Zoë were picking out baby names. Simon and Kaylee were having their wedding in a corner while Book sermonized to his bullet-ridden congregation. When he caught Jayne's eye, he shook his head._

"_Boo-jir."_

_Jayne stung, but he did his job. He took his seat in the Mule to wait for Mal, and the two of them drove away to meet the clients. A round was fired from a semiautomatic. The shot was returned with cussing. Jayne felt a hot impact in his leg and stumbled back onto the bed in the whorehouse. He looked over at the whore and found her turning on him. Annoyed and restless, Jayne left the bed and went down the stairs. Shepherd Book stared at him as he preached of hell and the fires of damnation. Zoë and Wash held their child in their arms, and the Doc and Kaylee were surrounded by their own stair-step children. _

_When he climbed onto the Mule, he had to wait for Mal to stop kissing Inara before they could set out. A bullet whizzed by his head. Jayne looked to the left for where the shot had come from, and saw the whore in bed next to him turn away. Desperate to get away from her, he jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs to the cargo bay._

_It was empty. _

Jayne found himself awake and staring at the grated ceiling of his bunk. He was panting, and his legs were twisted up in his blanket, and his trigger hand had reached for his gun even before he was conscious. The details of the nightmare were already fading from his mind, but the effects lingered on. He knew he wasn't going to be getting back to sleep any time soon.

He craned his neck to look at the digital display on the lock-and-com pad next to the ladder in his bunk. Not quite six yet, but if Mrs. Frye was anything like his own ma, she's been up for hours now. Jayne counted on it as he got up and dressed in the near-dark of his bunk lit only by the low ambient light that warded off complete blackness. He was going to get Angel early so that she would still be asleep, and he could carry her back to put her with River before she woke.

Before he went, he stopped off in the infirmary and grabbed the bottle of pain-relievers and a little plastic cup he filled with water. He took both to River's room, and set them on the headboard-shelf carefully so as not to drip water on her head. He glanced down to make sure she was okay and paused a minute to look at her.

She lay quiet and peaceful facing the wall, undisturbed by Jayne's entry or movements in her room. Her purple fleece comforter was pulled up around her chin, and he could see she had her hands balled up in the blanket near her chest. Her hair was pushed away from her face, and he watched her lashes flutter as she began to dream. He didn't know why the sight of that round beauty mark in her left eyebrow was so amusing, but it had the power to tug a smile onto his mouth whenever he took a minute to notice it.

And what exactly the hell was he doing staring at her? It wasn't like she was that good looking. Yeah, sure, she wasn't a sin to look at, pretty even, but he'd seen prettier. There were exotic beauties with plump lips and midnight eyes outlined in dark kohl, icy blondes with eyes like cool water, and scandalous redheads who knew the naughtiest games. Compared to them, River was sort of plain. So what was he doing standing in her room staring at her while she slept?

Jayne shook his head and made his was out of her room leaving the door open, and headed out of Serenity toward the Frye house. It was easy enough to find his way in the twilight before dawn. The early morning air was cool and damp with dew, and it helped him to clear his head. Clean, unrecycled air was a blessing, and he breathed deep to chase away the last wisps of his nightmare and the oddness of watching River sleep.

What was wrong with him of late? He was beginning to wonder if crazy weren't catching.

When he reached the back door of the Frye's farmhouse, he could make out the sounds of meat sizzling in a frying pan and Mrs. Frye's voice humming. The smells coming out the kitchen were the stuff Heaven was made of. Jayne grinned as he knocked lightly on the door.

The humming stopped, and he could hear Kaylee's mother walking on the hardwood toward the door. "Who in the world is out at this hour?"

The woman was of good farm stock. She didn't know not to open the door without calling to see who was on the other side. It was actually refreshing for Jayne who had spent so long with folk who had to be suspicious as a way of life. He smiled in what he hoped was a very charming way when the door opened to reveal the rounding woman with flour dusted on her blue-checked apron in snowy patches.

"Mornin', Ma'am." A smell caught his nose and Jayne momentarily forgot what he was there for. "Is that real bacon?"

Martha Frye laughed at the merc. "Jayne, did you come all the way down here just for the food? Good Lord above, you didn't smell that bacon up there at your ship, did you?"

Jayne chuckled in return. "No, Ma'am, but I could smell it from half-way down the road." See? He could be pleasant if he needed to. "Actually, I told River I'd come get Angel for her. She tends to get a little antsy if'n she ain't with her ma when she wakes up, an' River's still sleepin' off the fun she had at the bachelorette party."

Martha frowned. It wasn't that she didn't like Jayne, but being a mother herself, she was hesitant to give a child over to someone who wasn't their parent. "I'm sure Angel will be just fine if she wakes up here this mornin'."

Jayne didn't like the change in the woman. One minute she was friendly and welcoming, and the next she looked at him like she wanted to get the broom and shoo him away from her porch. "That's a'cause you never had Angel wake up around you without her ma there. Girl don't take it well. Neither does River, truth to tell, and I promised her I'd bring Angel home this mornin'."

"Forgive me if I'm comin' off like I don't trust you, Jayne," she apologized, "but you ain't Angel's daddy, and I don't feel right handin' a child over to just anyone."

"He's fine, Mrs. Frye," a new voice spoke up. Jayne turned to find Zoë a few paces away coming up the lawn. "He's family. Close enough, anyway. River would tell you the same."

Mrs. Frye nodded, and stepped back from the door. "It's all right, I suppose. It's just that you can never be too careful with little ones."

Jayne huffed. He stepped inside and headed toward the front room the woman pointed to. Inside, he found seven or eight kids ranging in ages from one year to six spread out on blankets on the floor, two shared the couch, and two more lay in a playpen. Jayne stepped lightly over the Frye children and made for the pen that Angel shared with one of Kaylee's nieces.

He lifted the girl by her armpits. He tried not to wake her, but getting manhandled has a tendency to do that. Angel opened her eyes a crack and gave him a "what's going on?" look. She whimpered in protest at being woken, but settled down when Jayne set her against his chest and made nonsense shushing sounds. She was asleep again before he even stepped back into the kitchen. Zoë was accepting coffee from Mrs. Frye as the two women talked.

"…and Ted never did come home last night. I hope they haven't gotten themselves in trouble."

Jayne couldn't stop his snicker. Angel whined a protest at being jostled, and dug her little fingernails into his T-shirt just enough to pinch at him. Both women looked over.

"Jayne? Do you know where the Captain, Simon, and Mr. Frye are?" Zoë asked.

"It was Mal an' Kaylee's pa's idea," Jayne said. "They wanted to hassle the Doc a little. Seems Ted asked his friend the sheriff—"

"Wyatt Tanner, that old coot!" Martha sputtered.

"What happened, Jayne?"

"They were gonna have the Doc put in lock-up for the night on some fool charges." Jayne tried to smother his laugh. "Unfortunate-like, Mal and Ted got a little rowdy themselves last night, and Sheriff Tanner had to haul them off, too. Somebody's gonna have to go down and haul them three out if'n they wanna make it to church today."

"I am gonna skin that husband of mine with a spatula!"

Jayne took his leave before they turned on him for not stopping it, but seeing Mal get taken in along with the groom, the father-of-the-bride, and two of Kaylee's brothers had been too much fun. And the thought of Kaylee bludgeoning Mal to death with a wrench was pretty entertaining, too.

He tried to make the trek back to Serenity as quick as possible. The sun was up now, but they still had an hour or so before the air warmed up. Jayne didn't want Angel catching cold or nothing. So he kept up a good pace with care not to wake her up, and kept rubbing little circles on her back and arms to keep them warm.

As soon as he stepped through the airlock doors, he headed straight back to the passenger dorms and River's room. He stepped over the raised threshold and carried Angel to River's bed. They'd be getting up soon, anyhow. This way Angel wouldn't have to adjust to a cold mattress; she could just snuggle up next to her ma for a few hours. He'd done that when he was little, especially in winter, and his pa had already left for work. He'd sneak into his parents' room and climb under the covers to snuggle in his ma's warmth. It was the safest he ever remembered feeling. Everyone deserved a chance to feel that warm and safe.

River opened her eyes just wide enough to make out the blurry room. She turned her head to look over her shoulder and found the familiar shape of Jayne. She hmm'd in confusion about what he was doing there until Angel descended to her side from Jayne's arms. Then she mumbled something that might have been a thanks, or maybe just acknowledgement of him keeping his word, and tucked her daughter under the blankets and curled around her.

Jayne caught himself staring again, and made his feet take him out of the room. They had a few hours left before they had to start getting ready. Might as well go start his own breakfast.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

_xiong can sha shou—_ass-kicking killer

_jian huo—_cheap floozy

_ge-ge—_big brother

_Boo-jir—_worthless


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"Uuugh." Kaylee pressed the heel of her palm to her forehead. "Why didn' anybody stop me from drinkin' so much?"

"Kaywinnet, if you are old enough to be marryin', you are old enough to keep your drinks in hand," Martha Frye chastised her daughter. She straightened the back of the wedding dress's white hoop skirt and fussed with some of the lace.

"Well, the least someone coulda done was not steal the aspirin this morning," the bride grumbled. She looked at herself in the mirror of her old bedroom at the farmhouse where the women of the wedding party were getting ready. She looked hung-over, all pasty-pale and puffy.

"I didn't steal it," River defended herself. "Told you, it was in my room when I woke up."

Zoë and Martha looked at one another. "Well, well," Mrs. Frye murmured, "wonder who coulda brought it into ya? Couldn't of been that gorgeous, brick wall-of-a-man who came knockin' on my back door this morning."

"If by that you mean Jayne, then no, it couldn't've been," Zoë teased as she buttoned up Dewey's little tux jacket. "Jayne doesn't do things like that. Or at least the Jayne Cobb who Mal talked into turning on his previous boss and joining _Serenity_ while we were being held at gunpoint certainly doesn't." Dewey was released, and was now busy getting into closets and drawers. "This new Jayne who babysits, and buys Angel presents, and gets all techy when River don't talk to him for a week…I don't know about this Jayne."

River's shoulders were tightening up, but she kept her focus on putting Angel's bright yellow dress on over the fluffy, crinoline-layered slip while the girl struggled to join Dewey in investigating the room.

"Would this be the same Jayne who refrained from getting stinking drunk with the rest of the men last night, and instead came back to the ship?" Inara asked.

"You mean, the one who was up in the mess lookin' like he was waitin' on somethin'?"

"The one who still hasn't spent his pay from the last two jobs we had on whores and liquor?" Kaylee asked.

Zoë nodded. "Yeah, that's the one."

River tugged the hem of Angel's dress down one last time, and jumped to her feet. "I don't know what you're talking about, so I am ignoring you. Besides, it's Kaylee's day. No more harebrained insinuations. Only two hours, seventeen minutes and forty-three seconds until the nuptial ceremony begins."

Hearing their time limit, the women got back to their prep work. Kaylee accepted a tube of hemorrhoid cream from Inara who instructed her to put it under her eyes to diminish the puffiness. Zoë finished helping Kaylee's friend and fellow bridesmaid Xiu Mei into her dress. One of Kaylee's sisters—Marah or Amy, Zoë couldn't tell which one it was, they looked so alike—started curling Kaylee's hair while Martha helped the other sister with her make-up.

River let out a long breath, and turned back to Angel. The girl was chasing Dewey about the room in her bright dress with its tutu-like skirt, and she had to corral her to force the white patent leather shoes on her feet. Angel was not pleased. After ten minutes, River decided that the shoes could wait until it was closer to the time that they needed to go to the church.

In the meantime, all of the bridesmaids had their hair done with a different yellow flower over their left ears. They had their nails painted to match their sundresses, each made in slightly differing shades of yellow to compliment their different skin tones, and got make-up expertly applied by a trained Companion. A half-hour before the guests were set to arrive, the women piled into three hoovercars that took them to church.

&&&

"I hate you."

"You said."

"No, I really hate you."

"Nice to know, Doc," Mal responded. "Now get yer ass in there an' get ready for yer weddin'."

Simon trudged into Serenity along with his Best Man, and Kaylee's brothers as his groomsmen. The women were all up at the house, so the men got the ship to keep the groom from seeing his bride in her dress before the wedding. Bad luck, you know.

The Frye brothers staggered into the cargo bay and paused a minute to look around. It was plain that none of them had ever been in a ship before, much less off world. Mal wasn't in the right frame of mind to be giving tours, so he hurried them on down to the passenger dorms where the tuxes hung from one of the exposed pipes. The shoe boxes were lined up on the table, each with the man's name who was renting them taped to the lid. Next to the shoes were five yellow tea roses that they were to put in their lapels. And slumped on the couch was Serenity's mercenary, head tilted back against the wall, and snoring like a buzz saw.

"Jayne." Mal kicked his boot. "Jayne!"

All the men winced. Jayne jumped, and had his gun out of its holster before he was fully awake. Nolan and Ronnie's hands went up, but Mal was unaffected. "We're back. What happened? You couldn't make it up t' your bunk, so you passed out down here?"

"Huh?" Jayne ran his free hand down his face. He put Boo back in its holster while he tried to clear his mind. Mal had startled him out of another nightmare. He couldn't remember this one any better than the one that had him shaking into wakefulness early that morning. "Nah. I was up when the girl-folk left. Must'a sat down to wait for you'ns an' fell to sleep again. What took ya so long?"

Simon grabbed his tux down and went to the table to find his shoes. "We had to wait for my soon-to-be mother-in-law to come down to the drunk tank and release us. Speaking of—why weren't you in there with us?"

"'Cause I was the one what showed some actual restraint last night," Jayne bragged. "So I got ta watch you an' Mal an' the little bits over there get hauled off when the Cap an' Mr. Frye's plan backfired. Lemme tell ya, it was a hoot."

Mal took the largest garment bag down from the pipe and threw it at Jayne. "Just go change into your tux."

"Uh, Captain…Mal…sir?" Ronnie asked. "Where should we go to change?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "You two go on down there. Room on the left. Jayne, you take the Shepherd's old room since Zoë and Dewey are up in her bunk now."

Funny Mal thought, how it was still the Shepherd's old room instead of just another empty room in the passenger dorm. Matter of fact, why were River and Simon still down there, anyhow? He should have moved them up to the two empty crew bunks a long while ago.

"Where're you changin'?" Jayne asked.

"Figured I'd take River's room. She won't mind, an' as the best man, I oughtta be near to the groom in case he needs help to the head so he can puke his nervous guts out."

"Just don' touch nothin'," he groused. Scowling over his shoulder, he headed down the hall to the Preacher's room.

"It ain't like it's _your_ room!" Mal snapped. "'Less there's somethin' you wanna be tellin' me?"

Jayne didn't so much as turn around, though his shoulders might have twitched. Or maybe the twitch was in Mal's eye. He rubbed his eyes and headed for River and Angel's room to change into his tux. Then he went back to the common room to grab the tux still hanging up. He had to come back a second time to grab his rented shoes.

It was going to be a long morning.

&&&

"I can't believe you did that, Daddy! You an' the Cap'n both."

"Oh, now Kaylee-Bear, we was just havin' a little fun with the boy," Ted defended himself. He'd already got an ear-full from his wife when she came down to Old Town Central Jailhouse to get him, two of her sons, _Serenity's_ Captain, and the groom out of lock up.

Jayne sidled through the dozen other bodies at the anteroom of the church to reach the crazy girl's side. He hadn't seen her since early that morning when the four women headed over to the farmstead to get done up. He found her near the rear of the room, dressed in her topaz yellow sundress. It looked like something she would normally wear, except the top was cut nicer than most of her other dresses were, and it had little bits of fabric covering her shoulders that might have been miniature sleeves, but just looked like decoration to him.

"You coulda ruined everything!" Kaylee accused her father. "What if Sheriff Tanner pressed charges?"

River was kneeling in front of a bright, sunshiny Angel and picking up the flower petals that the girl had tossed on the floor before she was supposed to. Jayne shuffled his feet.

"He wasn' gonna press charges, Kayl," Mr. Frye assured her. "We had it all planned out."

When River didn't look up at him, Jayne cleared his throat. "Hey. How's your head?"

River brought the petal basket with her as she stood up and faced Jayne. There was a yellow tiger lily in her hair. She awarded his concern with a smile, and said, "Good. The water last night and pain relievers you left me this morning were quite effective. Thank you."

"Yeah, well…." He shrugged.

"Planned out?" the bride demanded. "You was plannin' on you an' Nolan an' Ronnie an' the Cap gettin' pulled into the drunk tank with Simon?"

"No. That was an accident."

"You just best be glad I'm speakin' to you at all," Kaylee hissed as the organist began to play in the sanctuary of the church.

The wedding party—minus Simon, who currently stood at the head of the church with the priest—lined up in front of Kaylee and her father and waited for their cue. The swell of the organ preceded the doors being opened by two ushers. Mal took a breath and smiled at the woman on his arm. Inara, dressed in gold with a scarlet-centered Clown Gown Hibiscus in her hair, returned the smile, and Maid of Honor and Best Man made their way down the isle at that ridiculous stop-and-start pace that wedding march's demanded. The middle Frye brother, Nolan, followed leading his buttercup-clad and adorned sister Marah, then went Jayne and Xiu Mei in saffron and a yellow dahlia, and finally the siblings Ronnie and Amy in bright canary yellow with a tulip behind her ear.

Zoë pointed Dewey down the isle. "Follow them," she whispered. "Just like yesterday when we practiced it, all right?"

The boy looked like he was about to bolt, but Zoë put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, and he nodded.

"Remember to strewn the petals as you go," River needlessly reminded Angel when she handed her the basket of flower petals, and let her daughter play follow the leader. Angel would trail Dewey to the ends of the 'Verse if he let her.

Zoë, dressed in a rich mustard yellow with yellow poppy in her dark curls, a wide smile on her face, offered her arm to River. The younger woman giggled and slid her arm through her friend's, and together they followed the children down the isle toward the altar. Near the end of the isle, Angel ran out of petals and stopped to look up at her mother. "Uh-oh!"

The attendance chuckled in unison. Angel started and ran to her Mum whimpering. River checked her laughter and looked up finding Jayne's eyes crinkled with humor. They shared a look before River lifted her daughter up, and carried the girl the rest of the way to their seat at the front next to Kaylee's parents. Martha had caught the exchange and made a note to apologize to Jayne as soon as she could for questioning his right to see Angel.

Zoë used a light touch on Dewey's shoulder to steer him toward the front pew on Simon's side of the church which was filled up mostly by friends of the Frye's. As soon as they reached their place, the organist changed tunes once again, and the congregation stood to watch Ted Frye walk his youngest child down the center of the church and give her away to a stunned and smiling doctor.

"Dearly Beloved," the priest intoned. "We are gathered here today…."

&&&

Simon and Kaylee Tam sat at the head table under the yellow canopy set up out in her parents' yard. They accepted congratulations and well wishes with grins. They couldn't stop looking at each other as if neither could believe, after all they'd been through, the year of Simon ignoring her and missing his chances, Kaylee's hurt feelings at his snubs and crying herself to sleep at night, and the near-death experiences, that they were really married.

The crew was spread out through the other wedding guests. Mal and Inara were stuck at the side as they walked around the perimeter watching the other guests. Zoë sat with Martha Frye. She was even seen to chuckle a few times. Jayne hovered near the buffet table that friends and family had filled by potluck. Angel and Dewey were playing with the rest of the small children in a little corral made of the adult's chairs and part of the garden fence while River accepted dance after dance with Kaylee's brothers, cousins, and friends of the family.

Her current dance partner was Kaylee's cousin Freddie Colbert. He was only an inch or so taller than River, and a little pudgy. He shared Kaylee's coloring and cheerful demeanor, and proved to be a competent dancer. They talked about the wedding as they strutted through a slow two-step. When he pulled her back in from a spin, Freddie said, "It was so stylish seein' all the girls come down the isle in the same dress done up in different colors."

River laughed. "Yes, I thanked Inara everyday when she talked Kaylee out of all of us wearing bright yellow hoopskirts."

"The lil' Flower Girl was wearin' a big ole fluffy yellow dress," Freddie pointed out.

"Angel can pull it off by virtue and age and innate adorableness."

"That's babies for ya. She's the Maid a'Honor's little 'un, ain't she? They sorta look alike."

He spun River around as she giggled. "No, no! Angel's mine."

Freddie's feet stumbled over themselves when he lost track of the beat. "Oh!"

River tilted her head to the side to watch his surprised face. They'd been having a nice time, and now he was panicking and closing off from her even as they continued to go through the steps of the dance. Because of Angel?

_Girl's got a kid…you know how girls like that are…only lookin' for a man ta take care of 'em. Too young for that…don't wanna be stuck with somebody else's mistake…_

Her muscles tensed. When the song ended and Freddie clumsily made his excuse to leave her, River gladly let him go. She found herself in the doldrums of dance requests, so she weaved her way through the other guests toward the food. And Jayne. He had found a fold-out seat off to the side of the dance floor near the food table. He had a paper plate balanced on his knee piled with a sandwich, potato salad, and real grapes. He had his beer bottle on the empty seat at his right.

River grabbed a napkin from the buffet table, and went to the chair next to Jayne. Before he could do more than raise his eyebrows, she picked his beer up, wiped the condensation off of the seat, and sat down. She put the bottle down between the two chairs so it wouldn't get kicked over.

"What happened to your full dance card?" he muttered around a bite of potato salad while she stole some of the grapes off his plate.

She rolled her eyes and nodded toward where Freddie now stood with three other young men. All of them were looking over at her now; the tallest of them actually leered at her. "Telling tales. Unmarried females with progeny are always on the hunt for the next male to snare as parental figure." She shuddered. "That is at least better than the tall one. He believes that since the girl has a child with no father standing in claim, must mean that she opens her legs for anybody. Easy lay."

Jayne scowled over to where the four boys stood. He leaned back in his chair, resettled his feet, and slung his arm around the back of River's chair. Just to let the little shitheads know they couldn't go around talking about River like that. She had folk who were there to defend her reputation—him being the biggest, scariest, and most willing to enforce that defense.

"Jayne? What are you doing?" River asked while little butterflies fluttered about in her belly.

"Just lettin' 'em know they can't go 'round spreadin' stories about someone they don't even know without pissin' some folk off." And, to his satisfaction, they were turning away and finding something else to do besides look the girl up and down.

"That's very kind. However, your gallantry is unnecessary." She reached over her shoulder, lifted his hand from where he had begun toying with the edge of her sleeve, and brought it up over her head to replace it in his lap. Patting it, she said, "The crazy killer girl can take care of herself."

She stole some more grapes and popped them into her mouth.

"Hell, I know that. They don't. They just see a skinny little bit a'tail. I'm just headin' off trouble 'fore it starts."

She swallowed, and opened her mouth to ask, _You see me as tail?_ But closed it right away. He was speaking of the cousins, of course. Instead she asked, "Speaking of tail, I expected you to be making up for last night's restraint with one of Kaylee's relations."

Jayne sat up straight again, coughing. He picked at the remaining potato salad on his plate and cleared his throat. "Well, you know, I'd feel a mite strange tryin' to make time with one a'Kaylee's kith or kin. Like incest or somethin'."

"Untrue, untrue," she called him on it with a grin. "You struck out."

"Now, hey! Did not!"

"Did, too. _But there was no joy in Mudville, for mighty Casey has struck out._"

"We ain't in Mudder-ville, an' my name ain't Casey. What kinda sissy-ass name is that, anyway?"

"He had no luck with Xiu Mei for he did not stop to ask in which direction she traveled," River explained popping another grape.

"Speak plain, girl!"

"She's sly."

Jayne looked over at the bridesmaid he'd escorted and proceeded to hit on in a new light. "Huh. Well, see? Had I known that…."

River couldn't stop her laughter from bubbling out. Jayne didn't appreciate that too much, and ate the rest of the grapes so that she couldn't have any more in retaliation which only made her laugh harder. He snuck a peak at her out of the corner of his eye as he chewed.

_Huh. She kinda glows when she laughs,_ he thought. It was like she swallowed all the late summer sunshine and it shone out through her skin as she looked at him and giggled. Disturbed by that thought, he changed tactics.

"Yeah, so maybe I did strike out the once. Maybe I should go get my guitar and join the band up there. You know what they say about musicians." He smirked as he leaned down to pick up the bottle River had moved.

"They have good timing and know where to put their fingers?"

Jayne about spewed his beer, but caught himself with the back of his hand to his mouth.

River laughed again. Jayne was such an easy mark today. "Don't make the same mistake as Simon. I'm not as innocent as all that." At his disbelieving arch of brow, she told him, "Had a boyfriend once. There were kisses, and making out, and…things."

"What kinda things?" he asked because he was completely unable to see River doing what he thought she was implying. Or maybe it was his filthy mind turnin' him into a dirty old man by trying to conjure up images of a fourteen-year-old River going all the way.

"Handsy things," River said. A deep blush spread out over her face and neck. "Mostly his hands. Never removed any clothing, but groping occurred. Not that there was much to grope. But I think we both regarded it as practice groping. Preparation for the real thing."

"An' has that preparation come in handy lately?" he couldn't stop himself from asking.

Her faded blush renewed its color. "Not lately. But you never know when you may need a skill. Perhaps I should find someone to refresh my memory. Since Kaylee's tall cousin seems willing…."

He narrowed his eyes. "You wouldn't really…wouldja?"

She shrugged. "No. I think I would need some sort of emotional attachment to the person. Casual liaisons have never appealed to me."

"I bet you're one'a those girls who had your weddin' planned since you was ten or somethin', right?"

Her shout of laughter tilted her head back. "Hardly! I preferred planning my acceptance speech for when I won the Lifetime Achievement Award for discovering wormhole transportation or successfully designing a probe that would go through a black hole into an alternate universe rather than planning a wedding."

"I thought all little girls planned their weddin's."

"Not me." She turned to look at her brother and new sister-in-law.

Jayne watched the girls face turn solemn as she looked at the new couple. "You ain't sorry they got hitched, are ya?"

"No, it's not that." River shook her head. "It's just…her whole life, Simon was the only one who ever loved her unconditionally. Even when she was too freakish to be allowed around children her own age, or was deliberately cruel to him, or when she was screaming crazy, he still loved her. When I was little, before I understood the fundamentals of marriage and procreation, I thought that Simon and I would wed. We could be like the ancient Egyptian royalty of Earth That Was. Even when I discovered what married people do in their shared bed, I thought that Simon would marry me, and we would simply have a celibate marriage. Even asked Shepherd Book to perform the ceremony once. Promised to have, hold, and knit."

Jayne shook his head. He could imagine how that went over. He kind of wished he'd been there. Sounds like it would've been a hoot.

River acknowledged his humor, and waited a moment for it to pass. Quieter, she said, "I want Simon to be happy. Kaylee makes him so happy he shines. He never did that before. Not when we were children at home, not when he went to Medicad…not once because of me. But because of her he has light under his skin. I think sometimes I might hate her for taking my brother away from me. But I don't, either. Kaylee is too sweet to hate. He makes her happy, as well. They think similarly. They are well matched, despite differences in upbringing."

"Yeah, I bet that's real important in the Core. Marryin' somebody who got brought up the same as you."

"Very. While marriages are not exactly arranged, one is expected to find someone in the same socio-economic class whose family is in a complimentary field of business, or with whom a business or political alliance could be formed. The parents must approve, and a prenuptial agreement must be issued. Some families even insist on fertility and genetic testing before they consent to a match. Not to say that there is not love, but love is not a main priority. That is why I wanted Simon, and why I never imagined my perfect wedding."

"Hm?"

"I was overly romantic as a child," she confessed. "I felt that if I could not marry someone I loved, I would not marry at all. I would devote my life to more interesting pursuits."

"Like winnin' that Lifetime Achievement Award."

"Exactly." She bit her lip, and regarded him for a few minutes. "What about you? Did you ever want to end your story happily ever after?"

Jayne stared at a clump of brown grass between his rented shoes. "One time."

"What happened?" she asked. She could feel a slight ache coming from him: an old injury flaring up.

He glanced at her using annoyance as a shield. "Ain't'cha gonna peek in my head and find out even if'n I don't tell ya?"

She shook her head. "No. I won't pry. I won't look if you would rather not say anything."

Jayne fanned his empty paper plate against his thigh as he thought about not telling her. But then he internally shrugged. What would be the harm in telling her? "It was 'fore I left home. I was nineteen. Me an' Tabby Hollen'd been datin' for a lil' over a year. Her pa ran the company store. Thought I loved her. Thought she loved me. I had my mind made up to ask her to marry me, but it turned out she had somethin' goin' on on the side with the company manager's son. She knew a better offer when she heard it, so she chose him."

"I'm very sorry, Jayne."

He reached down for his beer and took a drink. "Don't be. I ain't."

_Liar_, she wanted to accuse him. He still hurt from her rejection. It was her that made Jayne think that girl-folk weren't to be trusted. After all, if a pretty blonde girl he'd known all his life and loved in the innocence of the time before first heartbreak could play so dirty, surely all women did. Except maybe his mother.

"I am sorry that she betrayed your trust."

He glanced at her, and found River watching. He met her eyes, but neither said anything. This was only their second conversation about something so personal. River didn't want to make him any more uncomfortable than he already was, so she stood up.

"I'm going to find another dance partner. Hope you have better luck with your next target."

Something inside flickered, and before he thought the words, they cannonballed out of his mouth. "Ain't there some kinda rule that all the weddin' party has to dance together at some point?"

Her breath caught for an instant. "I would not know. This is the first wedding party I've ever been in."

"I think there is," he said standing up. "Come on. Might as well get this over with."

&&&

Kaylee pulled her gaze from her new husband long enough to check on her friends. They weren't all the most sociable people, and they were surrounded by folks they'd never met before. To her relief, Zoë seemed to be getting along real well with her Ma. She turned to check on the two littlest Sereniteers in the kid pen, and found Angel with a doll, sucking on the plastic head. Dewey was engaged in some kind of dust kicking up contest with some of her nephews. His little tux was filthy.

Across the pavilion, Mal and Inara were talking with Uncle Whit. By the slightly annoyed expression on Inara's face, the topic of conversation was business. It looked like Serenity would have a load of fresh veggies to take to market on Persephone after she and Simon got back from their week-long honeymoon.

Kaylee glanced at the crowd of dancers on the small stage the men had set up certain that she would find her new sister there. Sure enough, the younger woman was just stepping into the arms of her new partner—which turned out to be Jayne, of all people! She didn't know he could dance. Not that it looked like he was dancing very well, but he was there, and she was there, and they were there together! Kaylee pealed a delighted shriek as she bounced in her seat.

"What is it?" Simon asked.

"Look!" she pointed to his sister and the mercenary going through a halting box step. "I toldja so! Welcome to Happy Kaylee 'Verse!"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

not mine. The poem is _Casey at the Bat_, by Ernest L. Thayer.


	16. Chapter 16

The newlyweds returned from their weeklong honeymoon in the track cabin owned by Kaylee's Uncle Whit wrapped in cotton candy pink clouds that only River could see. The crew said teary good-byes to Kaylee's family, boarded _Serenity,_ and took off. She was also fairly certain that some of their muscle tissue had atrophied during their honeymoon. They both moved very slowly and tended to carelessly bump into one another as they walked. The first half of the day was spent moving Simon's things from his room in the passenger dorms to Kaylee's bunk, grinning all the while. The afternoon and evening they spent putting their bunk to good use.

Unfortunately, by the next day it was back to work for all of them. Mal was negotiating with one of the new contacts on Boros while Zoë and Jayne helped Kaylee rewire the dumping door in the cargo bay. Dewey watched. Meanwhile Simon was running a check-up on Angel at River's request. The little girl had woken up with a fever and stuffy nose a few days earlier. Mrs. Frye had helped her care for Angel in the first few days, but since this was the first time that her daughter had been truly sick, River was panicked. Simon confirmed that his niece had the flu, but that she would be fine as soon as the virus ran its course. He prescribed some mild pain reliever and lots of fluids and rest.

A week later, the crew stopped on Haven to commemorate the first anniversary of the Miranda signal release and the loss of their friends. Angel, River, and Dewey were all battling the flu. Since it was winter on Haven by then, both children stayed inside the ship with River while the others went to the gravestones. River went to pay her respects when the crew returned, but couldn't stay out long before the cold air exacerbated her coughing, and forced her back inside.

A few days after they left Haven, Zoë was infected with the flu, followed by Mal, then Inara and Simon during the following weeks. Kaylee was immune to the virus, it seemed, but once her morning sickness kicked in she almost wished for the sniffles. Though it was pretty funny to hear a stuffy Mal yelling at the Tams—not including River this time—about how there were to be no more babies on his ship.

"I'b serius! Dat's it! Dree's duh limbit!" He pointed at Dewey and Angel, "One, dwo…" then moved his pointing to the general direction of Kaylee's middle, "dree! No bore babies on by shib!"

"But, Cap'n, what if we wanna have another one after this?"

"Not on by shib."

"Well, what if it's you an' 'Nara, huh?" Kaylee shot back.

At their sputtering, the rest of the crew laughed.

"Come on, Mal," Jayne teased, "like we don't all know you two've been sexin' since after little Kaylee an' the Doc's weddin'."

Zoë glared at him. Jayne shrugged. What'd he say now?

"Won't be callin' me 'little' in a couple a'months," Kaylee gushed. She looked back at her husband and they beamed at one another.

"How'd dis habben, anyway?" Mal demanded.

Inara cleared her throat. "You see, Mal, when two people love each other very much, they feel the need to express that love—"

"Dat's not whad I bent!"

"At the climax of sexual intercourse, the male ejaculates—"

"Dat's not whad I bent, eider, li' albadross! _Jung chi duh go-se dway_, why would you even say dat when dere's lil' ear in duh roob?"

"If you raise a child not to believe sex is dirty, he or she will not think that sex is dirty," River responded.

Simon brought the whole tangent to a halt when he said, "We decided when we got engaged that we would start trying to get pregnant. She stopped taking the pill two months ago."

"And whad would'a habbened if ya got bregdant before duh weddin'?"

"Her hormone cycle didn't start returning to normal until just before the wedding."

"What'ja do, monitor her?" Jayne asked.

"Yes," the couple answered.

River grinned up at her big brother. "I get a niece or nephew!"

Simon smiled back. "I've enjoyed being an uncle so much I thought I'd reciprocate the honor."

River's smile faded away. _She_ hadn't actually given her brother a niece, not really, and she never would be able to.

Too late Simon realized that was not the wisest thing to say. Certainly not the most tactful since River could never actually have children herself. "Oh, mei-mei, I didn't…"

"I know." She took Simon and Kaylee's hands in hers. "I'm very happy for you both."

"Thank you, sweetie," Kaylee murmured as she bent down to hug her. "Tell ya what, you can be the baby's godmother when it's born."

"I would be most honored," River accepted. She cleared her throat. "I need to give Angel her bath. Excuse me."

After River got Angel out of her highchair and carried the little girl, now nearly over her illness, out of the room, Jayne asked, "What's got her all whinged outta shape?"

Zoë rolled her eyes. "Were you not on the bridge for the whole River-can't-get-pregnant discussion?"

"Yeah. Still don't see what the problem is."

"Did it ever occur to you, you paramecium brain, that River might have actually wanted to have her own children someday?" Simon asked. "Or at least have had a choice in the decision not to?"

Jayne frowned. The thought had never entered his mind. She was still the Virgin Mary to him in so many respects. River having a child of her own implied sexin', and River having sex….

His thoughts skidded to a stop in front of a mental wall. Sure, he's made that comment to the Fed when she'd first crawled out of the box, but that was mainly to piss the agent off and get him to talk. And there was her comment about him smelling good, but he figured that was mostly the drink talkin'. And, yeah, River said she'd practice-groped with some boy from her childhood, but—

There was that wall, again.

But he did understand that she must be angry at not having a choice in the matter. Having kids was too important a thing to get the decision taken out of your hands. And maybe she was a little jealous of Kaylee? Did that sound right? This psychology thing had always confounded him.

&&&

While everyone else suffered their battle with influenza for that month or so, Jayne remained healthy. When the virus made its last ditch effort at life and infected Jayne it went all out. He came down not only with the flu, but pneumonia. He woke up unable to breathe one night, and not five minutes later River was pushing him and the Doc down to the infirmary after waking her brother out of a dead sleep. How she knew, Jayne didn't bother to guess. He figured it was a Reader thing.

The worst of it was, they had a drop to make the next day when they landed on Newhall, and Jayne was certain to be needed. Even after he spent the night in the infirmary, he tried to weapon up and go on the job. The fool had a coughing fit on the stairs on his way down to the cargo bay. Luckily, Mal was behind him, and caught the big man before he took a mighty fall. The Captain called for the Doc, and helped Simon get him back into the infirmary.

"_G__o tsao de fei fei_, I'm fine!" he protested.

"You're not fine," Simon insisted. "You're sick, and you're lucky you didn't fall down the stairs the way you were coughing. You are not fit to go out on this job."

"Like hell, I a—" He started coughing again, hacking so hard he had to spit into the sink.

Zoë, already armed, walked into the common room where the rest of the crew was loitering, and made her way to the med bay door. "Sir? Mule's ready. Are we going?"

"Slight delay." Mal grunted as he tried to keep Jayne from walking out of the room.

River stood in the door way, and looked on with worried eyes. "Simon? Why is he so sick? He shouldn't be this sick; he is the largest human mass on the ship. Virus should not be able to take him down like this unless he had some kind of immune deficiency."

_Renzi_****_de Shang Di_, she was only being spiteful when she wondered if he had a sexually transmitted retrovius.

"He's not biologically immune deficient," Simon assured her. He and Mal finally managed to get the mercenary onto the chair, and Simon searched his cabinets for a general cough suppressant. "Jayne, have you had any changes in diet lately?"

"Yeah, Doc. I been havin' my meals catered while we was in the Black. What the hell do you think?" Jayne let himself sit down on the reclined chair, but wouldn't lay back. If he did that, he knew there was no way he would be getting up again. He felt like he had bricks strapped to his body weighing him down.

"Have you been under any stress?"

"Not more'n usual."

"What about your sleep patterns? Have you been getting enough sleep lately?"

Jayne winced, and it made his whole face hurt. God, he hurt all over. "Sleep's been a little finicky lately," he admitted.

"Lately as in how long? Drink this," the Doctor ordered, giving him the dosage.

Jayne tossed the medicine back and made a face at the taste. "Just a while, Doc. Maybe…couple'a weeks. I keep havin' crazy nightmares an' I can't get to sleep. Like one I had where there was a giant kitten what was rollin' around in curry powder an' then started chasin' me°. I kept sneezin' as I was ran away."

"Hm. That would have run your body down enough to make you this sick. Now you need to rest and regain your strength, and you are not going out on this drop today."

"Mal, tell 'im ya need me out there with ya."

The Captain shook his head. "You can barely lift the gun at your side, Jayne. You're movin' too slow. I take you out there with me today, and you're like to come back dead. Doc says you're stayin' here, you're stayin' here."

"It's my gorram job, Mal!" His voice waned at the end as his throat started to scratch and burn like hellfire.

"An' it's my job to make sure my crew is well enough to do theirs. You ain't."

"The Fiarri boys ain't the type to settle things smooth."

"Do you know what happens when the body can't fight the infection?" River asked as she stepped into the room. "Your pulmonary alveoli fill with greenish-yellow phlegm resulting in chest pain and a deep cough. This is accompanied by a high fever and chills," she pointed out just as a shiver shook Jayne's body, "along with headaches—which you have now. You're brows are pinched and your eyes are glassy. You also have loss of color, clammy skin, muscle ache, fatigue, and loss of appetite. If the condition worsens, your brain will become oxygen deprived, and you will feel lightheaded and disoriented. You may cough up blood, and then you _die_."

Simon rolled his eyes. That wasn't exactly the medical definition of what would happen, but River always leaned her descriptions toward the theatric.

While Jayne didn't want to die, not that he was admitting that he was really that sick, he wouldn't let Zoë and Mal go out on a job this unpredictable alone. "Come on. It's one'a the Cap's plans. You know they're gonna need somebody to watch their backs so's they don't come back lookin' like that hole-y kinda cheese."

"I'll go."

The three fighters looked at the girl. The Captain didn't like River out on a job with them since that frightening use of mind probing several months ago. She watched Dewey while Zoë was out with the Captain, and kept him entertained and distracted in case his aunt had been hurt and needed to see Simon when she got back.

"Don't think that's such a good idea, girl."

River sighed. "I promise not to do anything creepifying this time. If someone needs to be tortured for information, I'll just let Captain shoot off body parts until he talks."

Jayne opened his mouth to protest again, but his throat was too dry. He tried to cough and coat it, but he over did it, and he couldn't stop the agonizing bout of coughs. "All right," he rasped at last. "I'll stay so long as the girl goes."

Mal gritted his molars and turned to look at his First Mate. Zoë shrugged, it was his call. She was too busy watching Jayne accept the gentle circles River made on his back as his coughs died down.

"'Nara, you mind watchin' the tykes while we're out?" Mal asked.

"Not at all," the Companion said. "I'm sure Kaylee won't mind the practice, either."

"Good. All right, little albatross, you can come."

River nodded and headed to her room to get her boots.

"Wait'a minute," Jayne called her back. "Zoë, you got an extra holster?"

The woman nodded, her brow raised in question.

Jayne pulled one of his smaller guns from its place on his thigh, and handed it to the girl. "Meant it when I said the Fiarri's ain't the type to piss around with. Take Stacey with ya, but my hand to God, you bring her back scratched or dirty…."

"You'll kick my skinny _pigu_ all the way back to Osiris, I know." She smiled at him as she took the gun. "Can't I take Lou-Lou, though?"

"Lou-Lou's got too much kick-back. Stacey'll do better for ya."

She sighed. "Very well. Now lay down, and go to sleep easy. We'll make sure the Captain doesn't get shot again."

Jayne glanced around the infirmary with distaste. "Don't wanna sleep in here. It's creepy."

River nodded her understanding. "Then go rest in your bunk. Take your medicine, and drink fluids. I'll come check on you when I get back."

Zoë surprised everyone, including herself, by giggling. She pressed her fingers into her lips to hold back the mounting sound. "Sorry. I'm really not laughing at you. I'm just gonna go get that holster now."

"My God," Simon muttered. "We really have entered an alternate universe."

&&&

Jayne woke up a few hours later in his bunk when his last dose of whatever Simon was giving him wore off. He pulled his blanket tighter around his shoulders, but it didn't help the shivers, and now his feet were cold. Well, they were colder than the rest of him. He had two blankets on, as well as his pants, two pair of socks, and a sweater his mother had knit him over one of his t-shirts, and still he couldn't get warm. He wondered if he really wasn't going to die 'cause this was not the way he planned on going.

His mind wandered as his temperature climbed. He thought of when he was little and his ma made him soup when he was sick. He thought about his brother getting sick all the time when he was younger. Jayne would take time off work and come home to sit by Matty's bed telling him about all the gossip in town he'd heard to make the boy feel better.

He thought about the last time he got real sick. It was years before he set eyes on _Serenity_. He'd been between jobs, and spent the last of his meager pocket money on a room in Miss Sally's Playhouseª to ride out the worst of it. After he could put his feet under him without collapsing again, he did chores around the cathouse—fixed things, carried what needed moving, repainted, he even cooked—to make up for taking a bed for so long. There were two or three girls still at Sally's place who were willing to accommodate an old friend when he needed it.

Free sex was nice and all, but just that minute, Jayne would give Vera for another blanket or two and a bowl of his ma's chicken noodle soup. He must be dying.

He registered the sound of his hatch opening, and opened his eyes to see slim bare feet descending the ladder.

"Don't want Vera. She would be lonely without you," the girl said as she walked toward him still wearing his gun in Zoë's holster, and carrying the spare wool blanket from the bridge and the purple fleece one from her room as well as some extra pillows. She had a small plastic measuring cup in her hand. "Also, I think that you are offering Vera only because you are sick and would renege on the deal once you have recovered."

"Prob'ly," he agreed. "How'd the drop go?"

"Usual." River handed him his next dose of medicine, and then bent over to set something more solid than wool and fleece on the floor beside his bed before she spread the two blankets over him. She unholstered the gun, took the magazine out, and put them with the rest of Jayne's arsenal behind the hung blanket. "You were correct in your assessment of the Fiarri brothers. They tried to take the cargo and the money. Mal was grazed. I shot three of the seven men. Captain and Zoë got one each."

"There are three Fiarri boys. You shot one'a them and they let you live?"

"Only disabled his gun hand. Never learned to shoot ambidextrously. Eduardo still lives." She settled back on the floor and asked, "Can you sit up?"

"Mm. Think so." He pulled his elbows up, and tried to leverage his weight onto them, but he needed River's help to get him sitting. River arranged his pillows behind his back then let him lean against them. Then she picked up the lap-top tray Inara lent her from the floor and placed it across Jayne's legs.

"Be right back."

Jayne frowned. He was thankful for the blankets. Very thankful, he thought as his shivers prompted him to snuggle down into the new weight. But what was she doing now? He didn't ask her to do anything for him. He thought she was kidding when she said she'd come check on him. River weren't no doctor. She didn't have to do a damn thing.

The girl came down the ladder slowly this time. The borrowed holster was gone. A bowl with a snap-on cover and a spoon were held in one hand. She brought it over and set it on the tray. Her hair brushed his arm when she fiddled with the lid to pull it off.

"One more thing," she said then scampered back out of the hatch. The smell of the chicken soup—canned, not homemade, but beggars can't be choosers—cut through the stuff in his nose and cleared his mind a little. A moment later, River returned with a mug and a teapot. She put the mug down on the tray and poured him a cup of Darjeeling tea.

"There any honey or any a'that lemon stuff up there?" he mumbled. He risked a glance at her face while he lifted a spoonful of noodles to his mouth. He wasn't sure she would make another trip for him.

"I shall check." She smiled at him before she left.

Jayne couldn't figure it, but if she was going to be all hospitable, he wasn't going to tell her not to.

River returned in a few moments with a plastic lemon in hand. "There was no honey, but we are in possession of synthetic lemon juice."

She flicked open the top and poured a few drops into the tea.

"C'n I get it made inta a hot toddie?" he asked.

River's mouth twisted. "I am not convinced that whiskey is appropriate in this situation."

"My Ma always made 'em for me…" he grumbled.

She sighed. "Very well. Where do you keep your flask?"

He slurped the last noodle from his spoon. "Top skinny drawer on the left."

River went to the small dresser bolted to the bulkhead. There were four, vertical big drawers, and two smaller drawers side-by-side at the top. She opened the left one and discovered a plethora of odds and ends. Her curiosity took over and she couldn't help a quick peek through his belongings. Loose bandaids, safety pins, needles and thread carpeted the bottom. There was an empty package of batteries, some strips of flannel, gun oil, a little notebook that turned out to be a financial ledger that recorded how much he earned per job, how much he sent home, the amount he spent, and on what, and how much he had left over, if any. She found the flask near the back of the drawer next to several tubes and small plastic bottles. The bottles appeared to be over-the-counter pain relievers and antacids. She pulled one of the tubes out and read the label: "Warming Massage Oil and Personal Lubricant."

She tossed it back into the drawer and wiped her hand on her dress a few times. That was such an invasion of space, and way, way too much information.

"You okay?" Jayne craned his neck to see over his shoulder, but that made him cough, so he turned back around. "D'ja find it?"

"Um, yes." She wiped her hand again, and handed Jayne the whiskey over his shoulder. She stepped back to his dresser, but before she closed the drawer, another, tamer tube label caught her eye. It was a mentholated muscle cream. She smiled and pulled it out then shut the drawer. "Jayne, take off your shirt."

He whipped his head around. "'Scuse me?"

"Take off your shirt." She held up the muscle relaxer. "I cannot apply medication through your coverings."

"Who said I wanted ya to?" Jayne squirmed on the bed and tried not to look like he was scooting away from her. She wasn't supposed to be down there in the first place. No one else had come down to see him except the Doc, and he didn't want them there anyway. If it was anyone else, he'd tell them to get lost. But she brought him soup and tea, and this was very weird.

River came to the side of the bed and frowned down at him. "You are still suffering from aches in your musculature, yes?" He nodded, and she continued, "And when you have previously had muscle pain, you use this, correct?" She held up the cream, and again he nodded. "You cannot reach your entire back, but I can. Also, the menthol will help ease your chest pain and clear your sinuses so that you can breathe."

"I don't know…."

River rolled her eyes. "Are you afraid that I will use my advantage to try to seduce you?"

"Hell no!" he sputtered and began coughing.

"Even if I succeeded, I doubt, given your current state of health, that you would be able to maintain an erection for a sufficient length of time for either of us to enjoy it."

If Jayne wasn't busy hacking up a lung, he would definitely have something to say about that. Probably something along the lines of, "Stop talking! Stop talking now!"

River either Read his extreme discomfort, or his glaring tipped her off. She knelt beside the bed so that she was no longer looking down at him. "You have assisted with Angel for months now. Gone above and beyond the call. Put up with me, even though I am not one of your favorite people, and when I have behaved ungratefully. I now have an opportunity to repay some of your kindness."

"Wasn' doin' it ta get paid back," he muttered. "Was doin' that stuff partly because I owed ya fer…you know. The Ariel thing…an' the Operative thing."

"Not relevant." She shook her head. "On Ariel you were doing what you thought best: protect yourself and the crew; what you were hired for. I proved that I was a threat, and no one was listening to you. Man of action anyway. I understood and forgave. I wouldn't have even told Simon if you hadn't made me mad that day. As for you attempting to send me off in a shuttle to the Operative, if you hadn't unlocked the door, it would have taken much longer for me to get out, and I may have had to injure you or another much worse in order get to the bridge.

"You betrayed me with your words on Ariel, but you used them to defend me to the Captain on Kerry. Your fear prompted you to rid the ship of a danger to everyone, but your compassion encouraged your assistance when I needed help with my teething infant. The scales were balanced, and yet you continued to help."

"Didn' do it to redeem myself or nothin'"

"I know."

Jayne swallowed a gulp of his toddy. "'Bout Ariel. You knew, didn' ya? What I did."

"I feared. I felt. Then I knew, but not until we were in the imaging suite and you began to usher us out."

"You screamed," he recalled. "That was why?"

"Yes. Before, I kept hoping my fears were unfounded. When the Agents arrived then I knew they weren't."

"M'sorry."

"Long since forgiven, Jayne."

He drained the mug, and asked, "What the hell'd you drop on me when you were in the storeroom, anyway?"

"Can of peaches."

"Couldn' you've used somethin' more manly like beets or carrots or somethin'?"

"I will try to remember that the next time I must render you unconscious."

He tried to glare, but it was more of pout. River ducked her head to hide her smile. When she cleared her face, she looked at him expectantly. "Shirt. Off."

Jayne still wasn't comfortable with this, but he nodded. "A'right, but be quick. I'm cold."

River took away the tray and now empty bowl, and set them on the floor while he pulled his sweater and tee over his head, but left them covering his arms and chest for warmth. Already his shivering increased. River pushed his pillows out of the way so that she could sit behind him.

_Maybe this was a foolish idea,_ she wondered once she was there. She had his bare back and those wide shoulders that she found herself watching more and more often lately no matter how often she told herself not to, literally at her fingertips. She shook her head. He was ill and running a fever. She had no business thinking these kinds of thoughts about him now.

She flipped the cap open and squeezed a five-platinum coin-sized drop of ointment into her palm. River warmed it between her hands and worked it into the skin of his shoulders massaging out knots as she found them. She spread it up his neck and let the ends of his hair tickle her knuckles. It was getting long. His natural curl was fighting to soften his usually tough appearance. There was a streak or two of gray in there, and River recalled that he would be turning thirty-seven that December.

She squeezed more into her hand and followed the indention of Jayne's spine down and then outward to his sides. There were old scars and new scars. She traced them discretely hoping that he wouldn't notice. They told her stories of bullets and knives and one fountain pen. When she could no longer pretend she'd missed a spot, River pulled her hands away.

"Done." She handed him the tube. "You can apply to your chest."

He pulled his two shirts back over his head, and murmured, "Thanks."

River looked around for a reason to stay, but she'd already managed to snare more time than she originally allotted herself. "Done with your toddy?"

"Yeah. Here." He handed her the mug, and settled back against his pillows. Jayne's eyes closed, and his breath began to even out.

"All right. I guess I'll go and let you rest. Simon said you will be ready for your next dose of medication at noon." She picked up the borrowed tray, bowel, and tea much with their lids.

River looked back at him. "I hope you feel better soon."

"Mm-hm." He was already nearly asleep lulled by cough medicine, whiskey, and chicken noodle soup.

River bit her lip. Even slightly congested and wheezing, Jayne was hard to tear her eyes from. She was honored that he let her get so close to him today. She was happy that she made him comfortable enough that he could fall asleep.

She leaned over him, and waited. He didn't stir, so she bent over further. His mouth was right there, slightly open, just waiting, and he wouldn't even know. She might risk her health again, but would it be worth it to do what no woman in years could boast of doing: kissing Jayne Cobb on the mouth? River closed her eyes…

…and put her forehead down on his shoulder. She couldn't do it. She didn't want a stolen kiss. She wanted one that he gave her freely.

_Should have taken it, stupid_, she chastised herself._ He's not likely to kiss you when he's awake. He doesn't even see you._

She stood up and came face to face with one of Jayne's girlie pictures. The woman was naked, lying on her back with her knees wide apart, and one hand barely covering her crotch. River sneered at the picture, and—once she got her fingernails under the top portion—ripped it off the bulkhead.

_This is childish,_ she thought.

She tore it in half.

_This is petty_.

She ripped it in quarters.

_But it's strangely vindicating._

River threw the pieces in the toilet and washed her hands before climbing the ladder out of Jayne's bunk.

&&&

Jayne had to stay in his bunk that entire week, and part of the next. The only time he was out of bed was to use the head or spit into the sink. Mostly he stayed in bed and slept or watched vids on the Cortex. River brought him food and medicine every day, but the rest of the crew didn't see the mercenary for days and days. Whenever Angel went to the bridge with her mother, she whined and fussed when they passed her friend's bunk.

When he finally climbed out of his bunk, breakfast just wrapped up, and River was elbows deep in dish suds. Angel somehow managed to squirm out of her highchair and ran squealing to greet Jayne.

"Up!"

Jayne grinned as he swooped her up.

"Aw," Mal teased. "Isn't that just adorable. Makes me wanna puke."

"Don't say puke," Kaylee warned. "It's bad enough I can't go into the engine room or near my husband without gagging from the smells. But that was pretty adorable."

Angel looked him in one eye, looked in the other, and then put her hands on his jaw and made him open his mouth, demonstrating with the "Ahh," sound, and looked in his mouth just like Uncle Simon did when she was sick. She didn't see anything, so she threw her hands up and announced, "All better!"

He melted. For the first time since he left home, Jayne would willingly own to loving someone other than his mother. He kissed her cheek, and carried Angel over to the stove with him to the stove. Angel babbled on and on half in gobbledygook and half clear words while Jayne made himself his first real meal since he got sick.

River scrubbed away at the plate in her hands. Honestly, who was jealous of a seventeen-month-old! So what if Jayne was openly affectionate with Angel. Angel was a baby, and babies were naturally disposed to be endearing. It was probably an evolutionary trait to protect the young of the species against abandonment. Jayne's reaction was merely an evolutionarily conditioned response of an adult member of the pack to a pup. Nothing to be resentful of.

She looked over her shoulder to see Jayne at the table with Angel in his lap. My, weren't they just so happy?

_There is something truly wrong with me,_ River was convinced. She stared down into the soap bubbles. Seeing her hands move through the water in the sink, she realized she forgot her morning reminder about how to treat Jayne when she became his nurse. Stupid mistake. She was losing her focus and edge. She needed to spend less time ogling the mercenary, and start training again. And this time she could do it at her own speed and without painful consequences if she failed a task.

That decided, River pulled the stopper out of the drain to let the used water flow through the filters and into the grey-water holding tank to be used for non-sanitary purposes later. She dried her hands off as she turned around, and saw Angel stealing bits of pancake off of Jayne's plate.

_Traitor!_ River seethed. _Unfilial daughter!_

Jayne looked over at the girl and found her glaring at him. "What?"

She focused her gaze on Jayne's face, and snapped, "I hope your face rots off." With that, she turned and stomped up the stairs to the bridge muttering, "_Chiang-bao hoe-tze duh sha gua. Wuo dway-nee boo-woon, boo-jen, ni tuoda bian… byen shr-to de ni zi _tsway-niou_."_

Kaylee sputtered in her orange juice as she giggled. "Oh, ow. Oh, that's not good. I'm gonna puke!" She got up and ran down the hall to her bunk.

"What the hell was that about?" Jayne asked the room at large.

Zoë and Inara shared a look. "I think," the First Mate ventured, "River was hoping for a show of thanks after putting up with you all this past week."

"I said my thank you's," he said. At least, he thought he did.

"Perhaps she was hoping for something a bit more demonstrative," Inara suggested.

"She wants demons or monsters?"

The three other crewmembers winced. Dewey didn't say anything because he thought it meant monsters, too, but he certainly wasn't going to side with the bear-man.

"Think they mean she wants ya ta do somethin' nice for her to show her you're grateful," Mal translated. "Women-folk like that kinda thing. Dunno why." He caught Inara's raised brow and glanced at her in question. "I said somethin' wrong, didn' I?"

Zoë recognized the _you-are-so-not-getting-any-tonight _look that Inara aimed at Mal, and chuckled. She turned her attention back to the confused Jayne. "You could try bringing her lunch later. Or go big and buy her a thank-you gift."

"Not something she can use for Angel," Inara warned. "Make sure it's something for _River_, and just for River. Something that tells her you see her as a person, not just crew or a mother. Something that lets her know you appreciate her taking care of you. Like when she bought you those cigars."

Mal leaned back in his chair and shook his head as he watched the two women. They were pushing a mite hard on this. He glanced over at Jayne. The man didn't seem to be fighting it. Mal figured he should be worried. He should be yelling right about now, or at least glaring. He could see that his little albatross was getting herself a mighty big crush on the mercenary, and while that didn't exactly please him, he was surprised to find that he was not about to pitch a fit and threaten either of them.

Huh. Maybe he was getting sentimental in his old age, or maybe it was the result of getting regular sex. That did have a tendency to mellow a man out. Either way, he didn't feel like getting worked up about something his entire crew seems to have agreed to work toward. Oh, he'd kick the man's ass if he hurt the girl in anyway, but the speed at which Jayne was catching on to the matchmaking scheme ensured him that he had a long while to wait before any pummeling ensued.

&&&

Jayne found River three days later after he returned from town with Kaylee. He still wasn't up to real work yet, but his intimidating manner was unaffected by inability to draw a quiet breath with his lungs still full of gunk. The scrap market on Ita was not the safest place for Kaylee to be in normally, but in her delicate condition, no one was taking any chances.

She was going through some of the weirdest poses in the cargo bay when they walked in. River had a long, thin piece of pipe in her hands, and she spun it as she went through different moves. Her feet moved as if she was dancing, and she brandished the pipe as if it were a sword. She went up on one foot, her left knee bent high and her toe pointed toward her weight-bearing knee. Her left arm arced over her head like a ballerina, and the right pointed the "sword" outward. Angel clapped from her playpen.

"She is so graceful," Kaylee gushed. "Wish I could move like that."

Kaylee didn't know the half of it, Jayne thought. River moved like a hot knife through cream with the power of a jackhammer behind it. He clenched the package in his hand and thought he did well choosing his gift.

He let the mechanic go on up the stairs with her engine parts. He spared a quick hope that she wasn't going to barf on her way up the stairs like she did when they were out getting the parts. The second she smelled the grease, she leaned her head around a corner and hurled in an alley until she was empty. Only then was she able to head into the store and buy what was needed to keep the boat in the air.

Jayne walked over to Angel's playpen and waited for River to finish whatever it was she was doing.

"T'ai Chi Ch'uan," River answered between pants when she completed her set. "Or Tai Chi Sword. I have decided to get back in shape. My muscles and reaction time have deteriorated out in the Black. Not to mention mental focus. If I had to face Reavers now, I do not think I'd win."

The thought of her fighting anymore Reavers made his insides twist up. He ignored it, and presented her with the small package. "Here. Zoë an' 'Nara said you was prob'ly mad at me 'cause I didn' say thank you the right way. So I gotcha this. It's a present."

River pushed a strand of sweaty hair that had escaped her ponytail out of her face before she took the lumpy mass covered by brown wax paper. She rested the three-foot pipe she was using as her chien°° against her leg so she could peel the paper back, and revealed a leather holster.

"Figured you needed one of your own so ya didn' hafta borrow Zoë's no more. Hers was a lil' big on ya, I saw. Think this one'll fit better. You gotta buy your own gun, though."

To her surprise, River was smiling. It wasn't exactly flowers and chocolates, but from Jayne it was just as nice. He stood there shifting his weight from foot-to-foot, and tried to keep his face blank, but she knew he was nervous—his brows twitched and the air around him buzzed like agitated bees. He really was adorable when he was uncertain of himself.

Jayne took her smile to mean she liked it. See? He knew he'd done good. And look at that. That glowy thing she did when she was happy started up. He must have really done good. "So ya like it?"

"Yes. It was somewhat thoughtful, yet still in your range of obvious gift choices." He looked confused, so she clarified. "It is for me, but clearly from you. I like it."

"Good." He cleared his throat. "Think I oughta go see Doc about my meds. Feelin' kinda queasy all'a sudden."

"Queasy is bad. I hope to see you at dinner."

"Yeah, see ya then." He turned and headed toward the rear of the ship, but looked back when he reached the weight bench. "If ya need any help with the Techy Sword thing…."

"I will call on the resident weapons expert," she promised.

Her warm glow followed him all the way down into the harsh, sterile blue of the infirmary.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**TRANSLATIONS:**

_Jung chi duh go-se dway_—steaming crap pile

_G__o tsao de fei fei_—dog-humping baboon

_Renzi_****_de Shang Di_—merciful God

_Chiang-bao hoe-tze duh sha gua. Wuo dway-nee boo-woon, boo-jen, ni tuoda bian … byen shr-to to de ni zi tsway-niou_—_M_onkey-raping idiot. I neither see nor hear you, you pile of crap…I will be a stone to your bullshit.

**NOTES:**

Thank you, Wikipedia for the description of pneumonia. Except for the death part. I added that. Seemed like something River would say.

° Happy 21st Birthday currikitten!

ªThe night show on 102.5 WEBN, Cincinnati

°° from http/ 


	17. Chapter 17

River looked around the dinner table at her family. Kaylee was still eating in small portions so that her food stayed down. Simon's birthday just passed, Jayne's was the next week, and they were already making plans for Christmas. Angel had been on _Serenity_ for nearly a year already. She was walking, running, and babbling in half-coherent sentences. She understood questions and seemed to have some precognitive abilities that were just waiting to develop fully as she grew. She knew everyone's name and looked at them when asked who they were. Except…

"She doesn't call you anything," River observed.

"Huh?" Jayne looked at River and saw she was staring at Angel. "Whatcha mean?"

"Angel-baby! Angel," River caught her daughter's attention. She pointed to Simon. "Who's that?"

"Unuh Sime," Angel said.

Simon grinned and handed his niece a breadstick from the basket—regardless of the fact that she already had one in her fist. Kaylee tisked. "You are not going to be bribing our baby, you know that."

"I'm not bribing her. I'm using the rewards system," he said.

River pointed to Kaylee. "Who's that?"

"Ahn Tay," Angel said around one of her breadsticks.

"Who's that?" River pointed to the little boy across from her.

"Dewey."

"That?"

"Ahn Zo."

River pointed again.

"Ananan-nan." Angel squished up her face. Pretty Lady's name was the hardest. Too many "an's."

"That?"

"Tapum No!"

Mal tossed his chopsticks onto his plate as the crew's laughter echoed in the room. "That's it, ain't it? I'm gonna be known as 'Captain No.'"

River turned Angel's attention to the man on the other side of her highchair. "Who's that?"

Angel grinned, but she said nothing.

"Angel, who is that?" River persisted. "What's his name?"

Jayne began to get worried for it seemed River was right. "Say Jayne."

"Bread?" She offered the mushy, half-eaten cylinder of carbohydrates.

" C'mon. _Jayne_," he urged. "Ain't that hard. Just say 'Jayne.'"

Kaylee called down the table, "Angel? Can you say 'Daddy?' Da-ddy?"

"Eew!" Dewey exclaimed.

The girl giggled so hard she bent over her tray. Simon cringed, though most of the others joined in Angel's laughter. River was silent, and Jayne scoffed. "See? Even she knows that's ridiculous."

When he looked again at Angel, he found her giving him a _look_. It was one that he recognized from River's face. It was a look that said, "I know something you don't know, and when you figure it out, you're going to feel like an idiot." He really didn't like that look, and it was creepy seeing it on Angel's little face.

"Eat'cher dinner," he grumbled.

&&&

Kaylee was up early to get breakfast. She found that if she got something in her stomach first thing that she didn't get sick later in the day. When she came down into the mess, River and Angel were already awake and about.

"Mornin', River!" Kaylee greeted her sister-in-law.

River jumped, and dropped Angel's cereal bowl. She smoothed her hands over her hair and rolled her lips in embarrassment as she bent to retrieve the bowl.

Kaylee rushed over to her side. "River, you okay?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. You surprised me."

"Don't think I ever seen you surprised before."

River brought the bowl over to Angel in her highchair. "I'm just distracted this morning."

"It's not…ya know, a bad day or headed toward a bad day, right, 'cause I thought you had couple months to go before—"

"No," River assured her. "Not a bad day. I just had a strange dream last night and…." She shook her head. "I'm just distracted."

"What kinda dream?" Kaylee went to get a bowl of cereal for herself. "It wasn't a dream about somethin' that's gonna happen, right? Like you're seein' the future?"

River turned bright pink, and walked to get Angel's cereal. "No. Fairly certain it was not prophetic."

"Oh," Kaylee cooed. "One of _those_ dreams, huh? Now don't go bein' embarrassed. Everybody has sex dreams; ain't no shame in it."

"Yes, but…I don't, or haven't, anyway. First…s-sex dream that I know was mine and not one I stumbled into."

When she came back and poured her daughter's cereal, Kaylee asked, "So? What kinda sex dream was it?"

River's brows creased, and she shook her head.

Kaylee took the seat next to Angel so that the two women could talk over breakfast. "Was it a celebrity sex dream? I have this recurring one where I meet that actor who plays the deposed Prince Cho from _As the Worlds Turn_ at a fancy party and we sneak off into a dark hallway and we just go at each other." River giggled but shook her head. "Well, was it a faceless stranger sex dream? Those can be fun. Or was it somebody you know? 'Cause those can either be good or completely creepy."

River ducked her head as her face heated up again.

Kaylee squealed. "It was Jayne!"

The pilot looked up. "How…?"

"You blush that hard, but you don't looked grossed out, so it can't be Simon, Mal, or—ew—Badger. Besides, who else would you be dreaming about?"

She blushed again. "Thought I was hiding it." Both of them laughed. "Sometimes," River admitted, "I have to sit on my hands to keep from touching him. Have to keep from putting my head on his shoulder. There are days when all I want it to wrap up in him, put my face in his neck and smell him."

"Oh, sweetie, I know how that is." She leaned over the highchair and kissed River's cheek. When she sat back down, Kaylee pushed with a wicked smirk. "Well, was it good?"

River's eyes widened, and she shook her head at Kaylee.

"Was what good?" Mal asked. He stepped into the mess and headed for the kitchen. "Nobody made coffee?"

"If you make coffee, I'm gonna hafta leave." Kaylee warned. "The smell makes my stomach wonky."

Mal muttered about pregnant women on his ship. Kaylee turned back to River, and said, "So?"

River looked at Mal then back at Kaylee with wide eyes and shook her head again.

"Oh, Cap don't care."

"I care," River protested. "Don't want my surrogate parental figure knowing about…that."

Mal frowned at them. "This is obviously something I would cringe and hope to have my memory erased if I heard, so I'm just gonna go on up to the bridge now."

"See ya later, Cap'n." Kaylee waved to him as he walked back out of the mess and up the stairs to the bridge. Once he was out of earshot, she turned back to her friend. "You were saying?"

River shook her head at Kaylee's audacity. "It was…good. I don't remember much about the dream, how it progressed from beginning to end, but the end was…." She frowned. "Even in my own dream he wouldn't kiss me. I have nothing on which to base the waist-down portion of the activity, so it faded out, but I stared and stared at his mouth above mine. I never wanted anything in my life so much as I wanted that kiss."

"Men are so stupid," Kaylee commiserated. "Even in dreams they can't get their act together."

They laughed at the lack of humor in that truth.

"Any idea what Jayne thinks about you?"

"He thinks I'm pretty. Always thought that. He no longer desires to see me leave the ship. He does not loathe me anymore. But beyond that I don't have any data. He hates the idea of me getting in his head, and I refuse to invade his mind because of it. Can only hear what he broadcasts, but he is so quiet compared to others."

"Jayne's quiet?"

"His thoughts are direct," River explained. "The surface thoughts are linear and systematic. Everything else in there is buried deep. Guilt or anger has made him loud in the past, but overall he is quiet. It's nice."

"You gonna make a move?"

"No!"

Angel shook a fistful of soggy cereal. "No, no, no, no!"

River used a napkin to take to take the bits of cereal out of Angel's fist. "Food is for eating, not shaking."

Kaylee watched River clean Angel's hands, and she could hardly wait until her own baby was born. At only three months, she wasn't showing yet, but she started feeling little flutters in her belly already. She hated to admit it, but sometimes she got jealous of River and Zoë. They had their Mom Club, and Kaylee couldn't wait to be part of it.

"So, what are you doing when we land on Boros?" Kaylee changed the subject.

"Baby supplies," River said. "Also toothpaste, shampoo, and stain remover. Never realized how messy motherhood could be. You?"

"Me an' Simon are gonna go look at baby stuff," she gushed. "I'm gonna see if I can find a baby name book. Never too early to start throwin' out possibilities."

"May I make a suggestion?" River asked.

"Sure, sweetie."

"Avoid naming your child after naturally occurring geologic or aquatic formations."

"Oh, you!"

"Or giving your child a gender inappropriate name; it only leads to trouble."

Both women were laughing when Jayne entered. River avoided meeting his eyes. She was sure she would end up giving herself away if he could see her eyes. One look, and he'd know—which was impossible since he was not a Reader, and as he was not known to be observant about females' feelings other than in regards to—except this sort of was in regards to—so she was perfectly rational in avoiding his direct gaze. Kaylee wasn't dealing with these problems, however, and she greeted him when he walked it.

"Speak'a the devil. We was just talkin' about you, Jayne."

"Sayin' anything nice?" he asked while he, too, looked for food and coffee.

"River was just givin' me advice on what not to name my baby. She asked that I make sure I don't give my child a gender inappropriate name."

"Har-har," he grumbled and sent a glare to the back of River's head.

While Jayne grumbled behind her, River sent eye messages to Kaylee. During her friendship with the mechanic, River discovered that you didn't need to be telepathic or have Reader abilities to communicate without words. She'd seen girls do this in her classes growing up, but she was never in on it. It took some interesting miscommunications before River got the hang of it, but now she was fluent enough that with the use of a few intense looks and some brow raising she told Kaylee, "Don't make him look over here now! Mortification will ensue!"

Kaylee said out loud, "Don't you need to go up to the bridge and prep for landin', River?"

She gave a few significant looks of her own, and River shook her head. Kaylee nodded. River silently pleaded, and Kaylee shooed with her eyebrows. She leaned over and whispered to the younger woman, "Go on. I'm gonna stay here and see if I can get him to tell me how he feels aboutcha."

Finally, River agreed, and when Angel was finished eating, she took the baby up to the bridge in preparation for landing in three hours. As soon as River was out of the room Kaylee sidled over to the stovetop/counter where Jayne was mixing batter for pancakes. She smiled when he looked up.

"What?" he asked. Her smile was just a little too bright.

"Nothin'. Just wonderin' what you was gonna do when we hit dirt. Everybody else has plans. Thought I'd be sociable and ask what yours are. Me an' Simon are gonna go look at baby stuff. I heard the Cap and Inara have a date after we get the goods to Shepherd Johansson at the clinic."

Jayne poured a scoopful of better into the pan and waited for her to continue. When she didn't, he asked, "What about River and Angel?"

"So she's 'River' now?" Kaylee pried.

"That's her name."

"Yeah, but you never used to use it," she said. Brushing past that fact, she answered, "River has her own shopping to do. So what did you say you were going to do?"

"I dunno." He shrugged. "Prob'ly wait 'til I'm there and see what there is to do."

"What, no big plans to go find some trim or get stinkin' drunk?"

Jayne narrowed his eyes. "Well, not off the top of my head. What's it to you?"

"Just wonderin', sheesh!" Kaylee put up her hands in surrender. She turned to leave, but turned back a second after. "One last question."

"What is it?" he snapped. All he was trying to do was get breakfast, and he was getting grilled by a nosey mechanic.

"You an' River—what's goin' on?"

He froze mid-pancake-flip. "Whatta ya mean?"

"You're around each other all the time, you get on so well, an' you're so much nicer when you're around her. I'm wonderin' why that is."

"We ain't around each other _all_ the time," he protested, furiously flipping his pancakes over. "We get on okay, is all, an' I ain't nice no matter who I'm with. Now can I get on with my meal or are you gonna keep this interrogation goin' while I eat?"

"No need to get snippy," Kaylee said, but for someone who'd gotten snapped at, she looked awfully pleased with herself. "I'm goin'. Just gotta put my bowl in the sink."

Jayne kept glaring until she left the room. His scowl melted into contemplation—something Jayne did more and more often since River got to Serenity. Not that he was thinking on her all the time. More about things related to her. At first he thought about ways to get her off the ship, then it was about his selfishness and if that was really how he wanted to be remembered. He thought about guilt, and guns, and fighting, and death, and savior warrior-angels, and mothers, and God, and torture, and grace, and age, and it was all because of her.

He thought he was being sneaky about it, but he did think on her every once in a while in the ways Kaylee insinuated. Her fighting was undeniably a thing of beauty. The image of her in the Maidenhead kicking that thug toward him then twisting her leg around and kicking a man behind her—around a column, no less—popped into his mind at odd times. Some of those times were inappropriate, but he couldn't get over that she never took her eyes off him for those few seconds. She said she didn't remember anything about it, but he did. He remembered her eyes. There was still something of the girl in there when she whirled around that bar because he saw the same look when she trained before dinner. He made excuses to go to the bay to watch her.

But River wasn't to be thought of like that. She was too…too everything. Too young for one, and too smart to bother with him for another. Not that he really thought about her like that. He didn't. It was an accident when she invaded his private time in his bunk. It was especially awkward during those shocking little intrusions when he was with a woman. It made him stutter his pace, and have to find something else to think on quick.

What was the word? He heard the Shepherd use it once. Sac…sacrosanct. That was it. Untouchable and holy. That was River Tam in a nutshell.

Jayne finished off his pancakes and went down to the bay to load the crates of gen-seed and unregistered embryonic cattle and sheep in little cryo-boxes bought to strengthen the failing herds on Boros. Then maybe he'd get in some weights before he had to weapon up for the job. And he promised himself that all the while he would not be thinking on holy virgins or crazy girls.

&&&

Kaylee poked her head into the bridge and got River's attention. The girl looked back at her from the co-pilot's chair that she always took when both she and Mal were flying.

"Did you?" River asked.

Kaylee grinned. "It's mutual."

River's face reddened as her expression teetered between horror, relief, and excitement, and she hung her head to let her hair slide down and hide her face. She fiddled her fingers on her lap and wondered what she would say to Jayne the next time she saw him.

&&&

Brains were stupid things, Jayne decided. They thought too much. They went in circles, or they got stuck. And of course they always got stuck on the thing a body was trying their very hardest not to think on.

He thought on River while he was loading the Mule. He thought on her when he went to the bench to lift. He thought on her while he chose weapons for the job: only the small, easily concealable ones since the cargo was going to the church through a Shepherd—but better safe than dead. He managed not to think on her while he and Mal and Zoë were delivering the goods, but he could feel her fluttering about the edges of his mind. Now that they were back in the ship and everyone was getting ready for their few free hours dirtside, his thoughts circled right back around, and he wondered what River was planning to do today.

While Jayne swore on a stack of Bibles that he was still the overall lecherous hump he always had been, he hadn't actually been to see a whore or picked up a woman twice in the last five months. It wasn't that he didn't get the urge, but there seemed to be something off when he was with them. Ever since before the Doc and little Kaylee's wedding, when ever he was with a woman he always left feeling more wound up than before the sexing.

He finished helping Zoë re-hang the Mule in the bay, and headed down to the passenger lounge to use the head. The first thing he heard was Angel's voice as she babbled words from where she stood at the little coffee table, and scribbled on a piece of River's drawing paper with a yellow crayon. Sitting on the far end of the couch, her head propped up on her hand, River stared off into the shadows under the stairs. She was in that short, layered pink skirt she liked so much, and a long-sleeved T-shirt that wasn't quite pink or brown, but it made her skin look soft and warm to touch.

And he wondered as he hesitated on the stairs, when Joseph looked at Mary if all he saw was a girl. A girl who was special, no doubt, maybe a little crazy for talking about being visited by angels and hearing voices out of nowhere, a girl who was getting him in a whole heap of trouble, but just a girl never the less.

River heard a grunt on the stairs and jolted back into the present from where her mind wandered to. She was making plans for what to say to Jayne when she saw him, but her very capable imagination took over, fueled by last nights dream, and suddenly her thoughts weren't so much about talking. When she looked up and found the object of her ponderings entering the lounge she quickly sat up straight and looked anywhere but at his face, and Jayne did the same. Both were too busy hiding themselves to notice the other.

"I was just, uh…." Jayne pointed to the bathroom door.

"Oh. Yes. I'm… with Angel."

_Loquacious, River, _she scolded herself. _Try a whole sentence next time._

"I'm waiting until the Captain gives the affirmative order so that I can commence my purchasing excursion in Lydontown: a trade town with a population of two thousand in the city proper, seventeen houses of vending, one post office, one train station, and three trade posts encompassed in a 2.49 square mile land area. Not that any of those statistics are actually important."

_Well done. Go from grammar-deficient half sentences to outright babblin_g. She mentally shook herself.

"Yeah." Jayne nodded. He cleared his throat. "I heard you'n Angel are goin' into town for some supplies."

"Correct. I am out of a few things for Angel, and Zoë, and Inara have also requested I pick up a few things for them since they will not have a chance."

"Why can't Zoë get her own stuff?"

"She and Dewey are remaining onboard to oversee waste removal and fresh water intake at the dock."

Jayne grimaced. Septic duty was the one everyone avoided as much as they could. But if Zoë was staying here, Mal and Inara had a date, Kaylee and Simon were doing their thing, and they asked River to get stuff for them… "Are you gonna be able to carry all that stuff you're gettin' and lug Angel around, too?"

"I—" River cut off her 'I'll manage' since it was an opening for her to invite him to spend more time with her. "I didn't think of that."

Some genius she was. "Well, I guess somebody has to come along an' lug the bags, an' you know Mal'll make me do it anyway, so's I might as well volunteer now."

"You don't have to," River assured him, "but I would appreciate it." She tried a look that her mother used to get River's father to do things for her. She could remember Regan's voice when she leaned down to whisper to her daughter, _Make them feel like heroes. Men love to think they're doing something for you that you can't do yourself._

"Just gimme a minute, an' I'll meetcha out there," he muttered.

"Thank you, Jayne."

River grinned when the door to the toilet facilities shut. This was going to be a good day!


	18. Chapter 18

Abby Leighton: You are very astute. But shhhh! Don't tell anybody! It's supposed to be a surprise. I must say, though, I get a lot of people who ask, but you're the first to guess. Good job.

**Chapter 18**

River, Jayne, and Angel, sitting in the crook of Jayne's arm, walked down the main road in Lydontown on Boros. They just finished the shopping trip Inara and Zoë sent River on, and now were just making excuses not to go back to the ship yet. It was a mostly quiet afternoon. Naturally, Jayne had to do something to liven it up. When they passed a bookstore that had tables full of half priced books and River stopped to brows the science section, Jayne found his opportunity.

River was shocked. "What do you mean you don't believe that evolution is real?! It has been the leading scientific theory of human origin for more than five hundred years!"

Jayne shrugged. "That ain't what the preacher at home said, is all."

"Malicious book is full of lies," she huffed.

"Is that?" Angel asked and pointed.

Jayne looked to where the barefoot toddler sitting in the crook of his arm pointed. "A horse."

"Hoss, hoss, hoss…."

"Now, that ain't right whatcher sayin' about the Good Book," Jayne defended. "I ain't sayin' your science books are full'a lies, am I? Just sayin' I ain't so sure they got it right, is all."

"Not lies then. Metaphors misconstrued and taken as truths with no empirical observations to back them up."

"Is that?" Angel repeated.

"A shop," River told her. "Whereas evolution has concrete physical evidence in the fossil record of Earth That Was. Preserved species from millions of years ago. Human ancestry from Australopithecine Afarensis to Australopithecus Africanus, Homo Habilis, Homo Erectus—stop laughing! Erectus as in '_walking_ upright' not in a sexual connotation—then Homo Sapiens Neanderthalensis, and Homo Sapiens Sapiens. That would be us."

"Is that?"

"It's a buggie," Jayne answered while her ma went on and on about finding dates, and songs by bugs, and radiocarbon dating. Another couple of minutes and Jayne couldn't hold his snickers back any longer. The girl just got so riled up about sciencey stuff.

River stopped walking and turned to face him. She tilted her head to the side, and asked, "Are you messing with me?"

Jayne broke out in an all out guffaw. "Yup. Your face when somebody questions your science is priceless."

She considered hitting him, but he was holding Angel and several of the bags, so it wouldn't be fair. Besides, even when he was exasperating, he was cute. "Jerk."

"Yes, ma'am," he agreed.

They started walking down the street again, and he noticed River frowning and looking back and forth across the street. "What's wrong?"

"I need to find a restroom facility," she said. "Rather quickly."

He snorted, and started looking around for a decent place to go that would have a toilet. There was a Mom'n'Pop diner across the road and up a ways. It looked pretty clean, and the midday clientele appeared to be good folk rather than the seedy kind that frequented the bars and saloons.

"Over there. Come on." Jayne lead the way carrying bags and baby, and as soon as River figured out their destination, her pace quickened until she was a few steps ahead of them.

"Is that?" Angel pointed to a dog tied up to a post on the boardwalk and surrounded by a group of boys who were teasing it.

"A dog."

"Dog, dog, dog, dog, dog."

River rushed inside and asked an older woman who held a serving tray where their facilities were as Jayne found a little booth to set Angel and the bags down. The woman pointed to a short hallway in the back, and River smiled her thanks. She came over to Jayne's booth and set down the bags she carried. Then she hurried off.

"You want anything while you're waiting?" the woman asked Jayne. "We got lemonade, cinnamon rolls, blueberry muffins," she smiled and clucked Angel under the chin, "and cookies."

"Tuties!" Angel demanded. She knew that word. Her Aunt Kaylee snuck her cookies when she babysat. They were Mmmm.

Jayne chuckled. "I guess you can bring us a cookie—er, two cookies. Wait, make it five cookies."

The woman shook her head. "Five cookies it is. Just a second."

She went to fill the order, and Jayne concentrated on keeping the bags from falling all over the floor. There were at least six that he counted. He thought there might be smaller bags inside a few of the bigger ones. He didn't know what was in most of them. There were some girlie products like shampoo and sweet-smelling soap, along with foodstuffs and thread and patches. River even got some yarn and long needles because she finally decided to teach herself to knit. Then there was all kinds of baby stuff. And it was heavy, especially since he was carrying Angel around, too.

The matronly waitress returned with a plate of five cookies. "Here ya go. That's nine bits."

Jayne lifted awkwardly in his seat digging for the money he kept in his pockets.

The woman said, "I just gotta say, you're daughter is about the cutest thing I ever saw, and I can see where she gets her sweet tooth from."

He froze. "My what now? No, no, no, no, no, no. Angel ain't mine!"

"Oh!" Her eyes widened. "I figured…you seemed so…."

"I'm just watchin' her is all," Jayne insisted as he handed her the money.

"Sorry," the waitress apologized as she left.

A sigh caught his attention, and he looked up to see River coming toward him. "Much better," she said. "Oh, cookies. Are they chocolate chip?"

She picked up the top one and nearly had a bite in her mouth when she paused. "Where's Angel?"

"She's right—" Jayne looked at the booth next to him where he'd set the girl down, but she wasn't there. He looked under the table and even got up to look. She wasn't there.

"Jayne!" River yelled.

"She was right here two seconds ago, my hand to God."

Both started looking around the floor for the tiny child who, hopefully, had not inherited her mother's skill at hiding. They asked the other diners if they'd seen her, and finally Jayne went to look outside. Down the raised walk in front of the stores, Angel toddled toward the dog she'd seen earlier. The mutt was scared and, growling, it tried to back away from her, but the rope wouldn't let it go far.

"Shit," he hissed. "Angel!"

He ran for her. As he got closer, he heard her repeating, "Dog, dog, dog," over and over, and the dog in question tensed to leap at her. Three big steps away, Jayne caught up with her, and swooped her up before the dog could come any closer.

"Don't you ever do that again," he growled at the laughing girl who thought it was the best game ever.

"Angel!"

River came running down the boardwalk and pulled her daughter out of Jayne's arms and into her own. She hugged her so tight that Angel finally caught on that something was wrong, and started whimpering.

Jayne saw one of the men from town come up to the post the dog was tied to and pull out a folding knife. He cut the dog's biding and shooed it off. "That thing was left here days ago. Probably half starved by now. I hope it ends right back with whoever abandoned it. Serves him right for not taking care of the dog the way he should."

"Or at least puttin' it down humane like," Jayne added.

The man nodded and spit off to the side. "Glad you managed to catch your little 'un there. Hate to see a baby end up as dog food."

"She ain't mine," Jayne protested to the man's receding back.

"Jayne?" River said. "Can we go home now?"

He looked back, and she was doing the bounce-sway he'd taught her long ago. "Yeah. Let's get the bags, and we'll go."

&&&

After Zoë signed for the services with the maintenance people from Lydontown's small dock, she and Dewey sat down in the lounge with a coloring book, and waited for the crew to return. It was one of those books that started teaching numbers and the alphabet. Together they completed a connect-the-dots picture of a floppy-eared dog then each took a color and started filling the picture in. Zoë purposely chose unnatural colors. She used sky blue and magenta and bright orange to give the dog spots while Dewey picked realistic brown and black to fill in the ears and pink for the nose.

Zoë tried to make the tongue green, but Dewey blocked her. She reached under his arms and tickled him until he squirmed in her lap.

"What were you saying about a green tongue?" she teased without letting up on his sides and underarms. "I can't hear you."

"Can't…can't have a," he said through his giggles. "Dogs don't got green tongues, Mommy!"

Zoë heard him before Dewey realized what he said. She smiled down at her little boy, but when his brain caught up with his mouth, he didn't smile. Dewey pushed his way out of her arms with a scowl on his face.

"Sweetie—"

"You are not my mommy."

Her smile disappeared and was replaced by a carefully blank face. "Dewey, honey—"

"You are not my mommy!" he screamed.

Zoë reached out for him, but Dewey bolted for the stairs. She ran after him to keep him from hurting himself on the stairs. He was fast for a three-year-old and scrambled up the steps ahead of her. Zoë caught him before he reached the hall outside the mess.

"Let go!" he yelled when she wrapped her arm around his waist.

"I don't want you gettin' into anything that might hurt you."

"No!" He flailed as she held him against her. Zoë trapped his hands in case he tried to pinch her.

"Dewey, it's okay. Honey, calm down. It's okay, you don't have to call me mommy. I understand. Shh. It's okay."

He fought and cried, and Zoë held on. She rocked him and soothed as best she could no matter how much she'd hoped that he thought of her as his mother. "It's alright, sweetie. I know just how you feel."

"Nuh-uh!" He sucked in a wet sniffle.

"You'd be surprised," she said. "When I was little, I lived on a ship with my mom and dad. But there was about a year when they sent me to live on Verbena with my granny. Now, I'd never lived on the ground before, an' I never went to a real school, but now I was faced with of all manner of new things. I remember there was a teacher in my new school, Ms. Hanley, who was real nice to me. She helped me with my times tables, and taught me how to write in cursive.

"I was dirtside for a while, but I was still pretty shy. I never have made friends easy, you see. But Ms. Hanley liked me, and one day I was talking to her and I accidentally called her 'mom.' I was so embarrassed and mad at myself. Took me a long time to figure out why it was I let that word slip out."

Dewey snuffled again. "Why did'ja?"

"It wasn't that I thought Ms. Hanley was my mom, or that I forgot my real mom. It was because I missed my mom, and my teacher reminded me of her. That's all." She ran her hand over Dewey's messy red curls. "Maybe that's why you called me mommy, you think? Not because you thought I was your mom, or because you forgot your mommy, but just that I reminded you of her. Think that might'a been it?"

He shrugged.

Zoë squeezed the boy's shoulders before she risked asking, "Maybe one day you'll be able to think of me like a second mommy. You don't have to call me that now, though. Or ever if you don't want to. You call me whatever you want." Dewey went to wipe his nose on his wrist, but Zoë stopped him, and pulled a hankie out of her pocket. "Here. Use this not your hand."

Dewey blew his nose, and Zoë set him on his feet. "Come on. Let's go clean up the coloring book and put River's pencils back in her box. Then we'll go and start dinner."

He nodded. While they were cleaning up, River, Jayne, and Angel returned. The adults looked shaken although Angel appeared to be in good spirits.

"What happened?"

"Unforeseen incidents led to increase in stress hormones."

Zoë looked at Jayne.

"What she said. Unforeseen stress. Here." He lay the bags down on the couch. "Some a'this are yours. Don't touch the cookies."

"I want cookies," Dewey said.

"Well, too bad," Jayne snapped. "Didn't buy 'em for you."

River set Angel on her feet, and stomped over to the bundle that held the cookies. She took them out, broke one in half and gave the pieces to Dewey and Zoë. She ignored Jayne's protests and started eating the cookie that she set down when she realized Angel was missing.

"How come you get a whole one?" Dewey asked.

"Because Jayne lost Angel, and I deserve it," River said.

"She should get a whole one if she's the one that got lost," the boy argued.

"She does get a whole one." River took her daughter's treat to her and resumed her walk to their room.

"I bought 'em!" Jayne yelled. "How right is it I only get one?"

River spun around. She jabbed her finger at him, and said, "You lost Angel."

"I got her back!"

"You still lost her. Lucky I'm leaving you with one at all."

"But—"

"We will see you at dinner, Jayne."

Zoë stifled her laughter with the half cookie River had handed her, and continued to look through the bags. She remembered having that kind of conversation with Wash. Well, not that exact conversation, and she certainly would have been denying her husband more than his sweets, but it was the basic format.

"What are you laughin' at?" Jayne growled.

"You know," Zoë said, ignoring his question, "I never seen you let anyone else steal your food. Funny that you allow River."

"She steals my food all the gorram time," he grumbled. "She just makes sure Angel ain't watchin' when she does it."

"Yeah, she keeps doin' it, and you keep lettin' her. Just funny is all." She gathered up her bag and the coloring book. "Come on, Dewey. Our supper won't fix itself."

Zoë and Dewey went up the stairs next to the infirmary. Jayne, determined to go to his room and do something constructive and not at all sulky until dinner, popped his last cookie in his mouth, and stalked back through the cargo bay to use the stairs that lead to the nose of the ship. He walked straight passed Inara and Mal on the catwalk without so much as a hello.

"What's got his drawers all in a bunch, I wonder?" Mal jibed.

"If I had to guess, I'd say it has something to do with River," Inara said.

He looked at her slight smile and frowned. "What's really goin' on with them? River an' Kaylee were having a little girl talk this mornin' which I deemed in my best interests to stay out of, then Kaylee comes up to the bridge to tell River somethin' all cryptic-like."

"I don't know anything for certain, but the signs are all there that they've developed romantic feelings for one another." She made a little face. "Jayne and romance in the same thought. It seems wrong."

"They ain't been…you know, all…." He did some smooshing gestures with his hands. "Have they?"

"They haven't acted on their attraction, yet, if that is what you're trying to ask."

"I hate to think what'll happen if they do. Life's complicated enough out here without bringing yet another romance onboard. It's a flyin' love cruise."

"I'd hardly call thievery and smuggling a cruise, Mal," she teased, but became solemn a beat later. "Mal, you know I took an eighteen month sabbatical when we released the signal about Miranda. I told them I needed time for my injuries to heal and to deal with everything that happened psychologically."

Mal straightened up from leaning against the rail of the catwalk to face her. "Yeah, I know."

"Fifteen months have already passed. I only have another three. I…" she closed her eyes and struggled to find the right words. "I'm not sure where to go from here. I don't want to leave Serenity again. This is my home more than any place I've lived my entire life. I don't want to leave you, either. I love you. I have for a long time, but I love my job, too. And I don't know what to do. I don't know what you want from me."

Inara released her breath. It was a long time in coming, but she finally said it.

Mal crossed his arms. "So you want to go back to—" his mouth started to form the word _whoring_, but he bit it off—"being a Companion?"

"I…I'm not sure," she admitted. "I want to keep helping people. I know that my job comes between us, and I understand the reasons for that. But what we're doing is very, very illegal, Mal. I know that some Companions take lovers on the side, and as long as no one becomes too possessive and the relationship remains discreet, no one is punished. But taking time out from your duties to be with someone exclusively without payment is prohibited. Actually leaving the Guild for someone—especially before you've repaid them for your training—is punishable as severely as embezzlement, or inside trading, or tax evasion. It could mean years, even decades on a penal moon for both of us."

"How long does it take to pay them back for whore training?"

Inara flinched. "Back to that word, I see. And it takes many years. The training at a Companion academy is extensive in _all_ the arts, as well as them providing you with food, shelter, and clothing during apprenticeship. That's a lot of money. I still have over half of the cost to repay and I've been sending in my dues for almost eight years. It will be at least another decade before I get it paid off and am free to do as I like."

"So I'm supposed to let you go back to whoring while I wait here, is that it? Told you, 'Nara, I can't do that!"

"This isn't the way I wanted this to go," she said slowly. "I only wanted to remind you that we had some decisions to make."

"Sounds like you already made yours." He spun around and started up the stairs.

"Running away. Of course. It's what you do best."

"_Qing wa cao pi yan_!" he hissed as he marched back to her. "I can't do this. I ain't one to share, not this, and that's exactly what your askin' me to do."

"You can't just keep me locked away here forever," she insisted.

Strangely enough, it was Saffron's voice that came to him from back when they pulled the Lassiter job. She said the same thing to Haymer. It should'a been a ruttin' sign, but he never thought to be on the receiving end of it.

"Naw. 'Parently I can't." He left, and this time Inara didn't stop him.

&&&

It was a very tense Christmas due to Inara and Mal's avoidance of one another. They sat as far away and out of the other's line of sight as possible. After dinner, River and Zoë took the two little ones into the lounge where they had the artificial tree set up and let them attack the brightly wrapped toys while the grown-ups exchanged gifts. Kaylee and Simon got things going. Simon handed his sister a flat rectangular present wrapped with cheery seasonal paper.

River tore the wrapping off with a happy grin. "_The Complete Works of Edgar Allen Poe_."

"I overheard you reading Ligeia to Angel at bedtime once," Simon said. "Which, by the way, why were you reading her a ghost story to go to sleep by?"

"It is a beautiful story about true love overcoming all odds," River explained. "The narrators beloved just happens to be dead at the time and goes through the process of metempsychosis in order to inhabit his second wife's body, is all."

"She did what?" Jayne asked.

"Her soul left her body, and then when the narrator remarried and his second wife died, Ligeia's soul incorporated itself into the dead woman," she said. "It's quite romantic."

Everyone else at the table stared at her. But she got stares like that all her life, so she didn't mind. She flipped through the book to a random page and started reading.

"It was many and many a year ago

In a kingdom by the sea

That a maiden there lived whom you may know

By the name of Annabel Lee;

And this maiden she lived with no other thought

Than to love and be loved by me°."

Kaylee leaned back and put her head on her husband's shoulder. She rested a hand on her belly where there was maybe the tiniest bump, and listened to River. It was such a beautiful, sad poem. The girl in it was loved, and the words actually sounded like waves washing up on the sand.

"Annabel Lee," she whispered.

Simon looked down at her. "Hm?"

"Annabel Lee," Kaylee repeated. "It's a pretty name. I like it. Annabel Lee Tam…what'da ya think?"

"Annabel Lee Tam," he tested. "The 'bel' part should be spelled 'b-e-l-l-e' though. I guess it works. We'll add it to the list."

Kaylee grinned and leaned up to kiss his cheek.

River smiled at them. She reached under the tree and pulled out two boxes. She handed the flat rectangle to Kaylee and the thicker one to her brother. Her sister-in-law ripped the paper off immediately and squealed over the picture frame that had a place for every year that she and Simon would be married. Around the outside were multi-cultural symbols of luck.

"Thank you so much!" Kaylee leaned down and hugged River.

Simon pulled the paper off of his gift with more restraint. Inside there were three books: one on midwifery, one on common infant and childhood ailments, and the last on what to expect during pregnancy and the first year.

"I thought you could use all the help you could get," River explained.

Simon tried to smother a grin and gave her his "You're such a brat" look. "Thank you, River."

Gift giving went fast after that. Everyone passed presents back and forth. River gave Mal a copy of _Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner_ as well as a little porcelain albatross ornament she suggested he hang on the bridge. "Now see? You upstaged me! My present to you ain't nearly so nice."

He handed her a new drawing pad he had wrapped in a pillow case that he wanted back. River pitched it back at his head with a laugh, and handed Zoë a drawing of her and Wash together, and another of her and Dewey. To Inara, she gave a stylized calligraphic drawing of the Chinese characters for love and beauty in a field of flowers with cranes flying above.

"Thank you, sweetie." It meant a lot to her since Mal was still barely acknowledging her existence. Speaking of the pigheaded man, she pulled a wrapped cylinder from under the tree and handed it to him. "Here. I made this before we fought. It would be unbecoming of me not to give it to you just because I'm angry with you."

Mal took it hesitantly as if it would blow up. He pulled the bow off of one end and slid a scroll cylinder out. He unrolled it and saw the characters for Independence written in Inara's careful hand just like she did on the neck of his ship.

"Thanks." He cleared his throat and stood. "I'll be right back."

Inara watched him walk to his bunk and hoped.

Meanwhile, Kaylee handed out her gifts. Jayne got a tin of peanut brittle, Zoë got some lotion that smelled like freesia because Kaylee caught her eyeing it when they hit land a few months ago, the Cap got patches for his clothes put on his chair for when he came back, and Inara got hair combs.

Simon gave Kaylee a box and whispered in her ear, "One is for every day, and the other is for special occasions."

Kaylee bounced as she opened her present. Inside was a tool belt with painted floral designs pressed into the leather, and in a separate, smaller package nested inside was a pair of silk stockings. "Yee! Oh, Simon, they're wonderful! My gifts not nearly so nice."

She handed him a wrapped oval and watched as he unwrapped the sign she'd burned **Dr. Tam Best doctor in the 'Verse **into. "It's ta put in the infirmary."

Simon kissed her with a smile on his lips. "It's great, bao-bei. I love it."

Jayne made not-so-discreet gagging sounds, and Kaylee glared at him.

Mal returned with a thick square box and carefully handed it to Inara. "I got this for you before we talked. Here."

"Thank you." She peeled away the wrapping that someone else obviously did for him, and lifted the lid off the box. Inside was a white tea pot with delicate blossoms painted on the sides, and winding stems and ivy around the spout and handle. There were four tea cups with the same painted design. They were all clearly second hand. The handle of one of the cups was glued back on, and a few of the rims were chipped as was the spout of the tea pot. Inara saw that they were well loved. "Thank you, Mal. They're lovely."

Neither was ready to apologize yet, so they accepted their gifts and moved on with the evening.

Inara then passed out the presents she bought for the crew. Zoë received a new hair brush. She gave Simon and Kaylee a belated wedding gift: a red silk blanket, the traditional wedding color, with a fish embroidered in gold—a symbol of plenty and fertility. She would have given it to them at their wedding, but her friend hadn't finished the embroidery yet. Jayne got a new knife polishing kit, and she gave River a new music player with two memory sticks of ballets and one blank so that River could save her own music choices.

Jayne put off giving his one gift—besides the rocking horse and blocks for Angel. In the midst of Kaylee's raptures over Inara's present, he handed a little bundle in brown paper to River. She smiled her happy, lopsided grin and pulled the tape off. When the paper was off, her smile quirked into puzzlement.

"You bought me socks…with the heads of bovine sewn on the sides."

"Yeah." He was losing confidence in his gift. They were maroon yarn knitted thick for warmth. "Cuz ya never wear shoes. Figured your feet get cold, an' these got those little grippy things on the bottom so ya don't slip."

"Cows, Jayne?" Mal asked.

Jayne shifted in his chair. "When we transported them cows, she did the whole communin' with the beasts, an' how they weren't cows inside."

Kaylee made a sound like a swallowed scream. Jayne looked around. "What? D'ja see a bug?"

She shook her head and buried her grin in Simon's shoulder. For his part, Simon just sighed and looked away. What could he do?

River's grin came back wider than before. She was glowing again as she pulled the socks on her feet. "Do they moo?!"

They didn't but that was okay. She handed Jayne his present. He shook it and heard a rustling inside. He tore the paper off. "Chocolate chip cookies! What, not homemade?"

River threw a discarded bow at him. "Put them in the toaster oven, you big baby."

Jayne was about to toss the bow back when Angel's angry squeal caught his attention. Dewey had some of her blocks in his hand and she was having a fit trying to get them back.

"Little monster," Jayne growled as he grabbed the red block out of Dewey's hand and picked the girl up to make sure she got it.

"An' you wonder why folks think you're her pa!" Kaylee squealed.

Jayne frowned. "Wha'ya mean?"

"She spends all her time with you or you an' River together. You give her things, and protect her, and talk and listen to her."

"Her first word was Vera," Mal reminded him.

Simon snorted. "Please, if I hadn't handled both your blood work myself, I would wonder if the universe was a far stranger place than I gave it credit for."

Jayne looked back and forth between the crew as he got nervous. It didn't make sense.

Just because he spent some time with Angel wasn't enough to make folks think he was her pa. Not that he was with them all the time. Not even most of the time. There wasn't a lot to do in the Black, and they were…you know. There.

Of course, that didn't explain his selflessness in going with them into town on Boros. Or the stupid socks. So maybe he was spending too much time with them. He wasn't anyone's father, and he had no plans to be. That meant no more spending time with the two Tam girls.

River felt a change in Jayne when he put her daughter back down on the floor to play. "Jayne?"

He glanced up at her, and then away as quickly. He sat back in his chair and crossed his arms. Something was very wrong.

As soon as Angel was asleep, River crept back up to the kitchen and found Jayne and Mal cleaning up the discarded wrapping paper, ribbons, and empty boxes. She hesitated in the doorway, and implored the Captain with her eyes to let her and Jayne have a minute.

Mal mentally sighed. He got the message. With a mighty stretch—possibly a bit over-the-top—he yawned, and said, "Think I'll leave the rest of this fer tomorrow. Gonna hit the sack. See ya tomorrow, Jayne."

Jayne looked at him like he was nuts. Wasn't it Mal who shanghaied him and demanded they clean up now instead of letting it set all night? He looked around to see what made him change his mind and found River coming down the stairs from the direction of the passenger dorm stairwell.

_Ruttin'_ _hell_, he thought. She still had those stupid cow socks on.

"Jayne? Are you well?"

"Fit as a fiddle," he answered shortly and continued to stuff paper into the garbage bag he held.

"You don't _feel_ alright," she insisted. "Not like this morning. You're different. Rougher. Foggy. I don't know how to explain."

"Well, seein' as you're crazy and don't make sense most of the time anyway, maybe you should stop tryin'."

River's eyes went wide, and she leaned back like he took a swing at her. It was a long time past that he called her crazy and wasn't teasing, and what he just said he said with conviction.

"I'm not being crazy. I just wanted to know what was wrong. Did I do something to make you mad?"

He didn't look at her when he answered, "Nope."

River shifted her balance back and forth. "Did you not like the cookies?"

"Ain't opened 'em yet."

"Was…was it what they said about you and Angel? They were just teasing!"

"Look," he stopped picking up garbage and faced her. "I ain't mad about what they said. Got me to thinkin' is all. Maybe they're right."

"Oh?" She hoped. She hoped he'd make a move, or give her the okay to make one.

"Maybe I do spend too much time with the two of ya. Don't get me wrong, it was sorta fun for a while. Guess I'm just tired of playin' house now. No offense."

River's throat squeezed shut. It took her three tries to get out, "Playing house?"

"Yeah, you know. The babysittin' an' the doin' stuff together an' the pretendin' to be a happy little family."

"That was playing?" she whispered.

"Wasn't never nothin' else." He smirked. "Didn't get'cher hopes up, did I?"

"No," she answered quickly. "But I…I thought we were friends."

"Ain't really got any friends, an' if'n I did, it wouldn't be someone I worried about turnin' on me with a bit of sharp in her hands."

River flinched, but she took her cue from him and used anger as her shield. She looked him in the eye regardless of the welling tears in her own. "No wonder you're so lonely and bitter, then."

Jayne let her get mad. He let her walk out. It was better to cut the tie now than have it bind him too tight later on.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

_Qing wa cao pi yan_—frog-humping ass-crack

°stanza 1 of _Annabel Lee_ by Edgar Allen Poe


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

The sound of a hatch opening drew River's attention from the flight screen. Angel dropped her new doll, pulled herself up on the side of her playpen, and waved to Jayne.

"Hi!" she called. Now he would look up and smile and tell her good morning, and then he and Mum would talk before getting morning food.

That's not what happened. Her friend looked up real quick, and then left. He didn't say "hi" back or anything. Angel tried to lean out to see him, and called him back as best she could. She wished she knew more words.

River squeezed her eyes shut against the hurt. Part of her hoped that he would retract his meanness after he slept on it. Obviously he still meant it, but it made no sense. Not even a week ago Inara assured her that Jayne was sending signals. She felt his want to be with her, his want of her, and Kaylee said that Jayne liked her as much as she liked him. Now he was completely ignoring them. He was almost an empty space in her head.

A screech spun her attention around to her daughter. Angel shook the side of her pen and screamed down the stairs. River went to her and lifted her out of the playpen. "Jayne is dumb. He's not saying good morning today."

As soon as she was out, she tried to wriggle down and go to Jayne. River just managed to keep Angel in her arms, but the girl wasn't giving up. She flailed her arms and smacked River in the face in her determination.

"Angel," River warned. "Stop—stop it!"

This was not how the morning was supposed to go. This was all wrong. And Mum wasn't doing anything about it! Angel was prepared to take matters into her own pudgy little hands if only she could get down.

"He is not coming up here!"

Mal poked his head through the door. "Lil' Albatross? You two okay?"

River had tears in her eyes. "Yes, we're fine."

"Naaoooooo!" Angel screamed.

"Lil' Albatross?" The Captain came to stand in front of her as Angel started crying in earnest. "What's got my two girls so upset?"

River shook her head and started the bounce'n'sway to calm Angel down. "It's nothing. She's just angry because Jayne didn't come up to bid her good morning. He always did before, but he didn't today. Tradition was broken, and she is upset."

"Looks like she ain't the only one," he observed. "You an' Jayne have another spat?"

She shook her head. "Jayne informed me that he was terminating our friendship. He wanted to stop playing house."

"Son of a bitch," Mal muttered. "I knew this would happen. I knew it, but everybody was so sure, an' I listened an' didn't say a word. This is what I get. I'm gonna go an' rip him one. My hand to god."

"No," River objected over her daughter's crying. "Don't. I will not send Daddy to beat up the bully just because he hurt my feelings. I am not a child. I will not beg. He doesn't want me then he doesn't want me. He wants to be stupid…let him."

Angel's thrashing finally wore her patience out, so River put her back in her playpen. "If you insist on being a brat, you can just sit there."

Angel responded with a long wail. River put her hands to her head. She hadn't gotten enough sleep for this. After she left Jayne in the galley around midnight, she curled up in her bed and wracked her brain for what she did to drive him away. When she came up blank, and could no longer stop herself, she cried herself to sleep. Now she was exhausted.

Mal stepped in front of her, and put his hands on her shoulders. "I'll give the two of you a little while to work this out, but if it starts interferin' with how things run on my boat, I'm steppin' in, dong ma?"

She nodded. "Very well. I will strive to not let my personal life influence my performance as a member of the crew." She looked up at him accusingly. "Perhaps you should take your own advice."

"And just what does that mean?"

"You have yet to tell Inara that you love her," River pointed out. "You have avoided her for some time now, and have yet to reach a decision about her continued stay on Serenity. If you do not have a rational conversation with her and discuss possible career options that would allow you to remain together, you are going to lose her again. It will increase emotional tension, and, since she will no longer be a tenant, tension on an already strained financial situation thus interferin' with how things run on your boat."

He scowled at her. "That's enough of that, little witch. I'll deal with 'Nara in my own time."

River tried to laugh. At their feet, Angel continued with her tantrum, more and more upset at being ignored. Mal sighed down at the little girl then looked up at her mama. "You want me to take her down to Kaylee or Zoë for the mornin'?"

She shook her head. "She will settle down after a while. I hope."

"All right. You call if you need a hand."

"Promise."

&&&

Mal clattered down the stairs to the bay. "Jayne! Jayne, you mind tellin' me what the hell is wrong with you?"

"What now?" the merc grunted as he lifted his weights over his head and settled the bar back in the cradle. He sat up and swiped the towel from the overhead beam to wipe the sweat off his face.

Mal stopped in front of his hired muscle. "So, you care to explain yourself?"

"Mind lettin' me know what I'm explainin'?"

"River tells me you two've had a bit of a falling out. Now you've had your fights before, but this one's been goin' on for near a month already, an' it's gettin' obvious. You disrupted the seating arrangements at dinner, you spend most of your time down here in the bay as far away as the bridge as ya can get. Unless of course River and Angel are down in the lounge, in which case you're up in your bunk. Now whatever the hell you got goin' on with River, you best fix it soon."

Jayne jumped to his feet. "I ain't done nothin'. Thought you'd be happy 'bout that, an' now I'm gettin' chewed out for it?"

"I was happier when my boat was runnin' smooth."

"Get off it, Mal," he muttered. "She'll get over it. Things'll die down."'

"An' Angel? How's a one year old gonna get over it? She's made an absolute brat of herself these last weeks."

Jayne scoffed. "Don't go blamin' me if she entered her terrible twos a mite early. Angel's…she's fine. Kids are tough. She'll forget me 'fore long."

Mal shook his head in bewilderment. "See now, this is how I know you done lost your mind. That girl was half your world not long ag—"

"She wasn't! My world made up'a guns, food, an' sex, an' I sure as hell don't need some little bit clutterin' it up. Guess it just took me a minute to figure that out."

"That include River, too?"

"Sure as shittin' it does. I ain't a Reaver, so she ain't food. She might be the scariest little weapon, but she's a bit more high maintenance than Vera so I think I'll keep my gun. An' maybe you don't recall, but you got a rule about not sexin' up crew mates."

"Could'ja do it?" Mal asked.

"Huh?"

"I can't believe I'm askin' this, but if River wrapped in herself up in a bow, came and said 'Take me now,' could you sex her an' then walk away all casual-like?"

Jayne gaped at the man. He shook his head at the audacity and started across the bay to the stairs closest to his bunk.

"You couldn't, could you?" Mal yelled at his back.

Jayne shouted back, "Either way, my sex life ain't none of your gorram business!"

"It is if it interferes with the runnin' of my boat! You fix this, Jayne! Before we hit Greenleaf. Don't wanna be dealin' with your _go_ _se_ while we're wooin' a new client."

Jayne focused passed Mal's voice onto the gnawing feeling in his gut. "Ain't nothin' to fix, you _yi da tuo da-bian_."

He was doing them all a favor by pulling back before somebody went and did something stupid like holding hands and skipping through flowers. Or holding hands in general. Or putting his arm around her, which almost happened once. They were at the market, and someone jostled her into him. He only managed to save himself by reaching for something over River's head.

Jayne ignored Angel's hello from the kitchen. He didn't look up to the bridge where he knew he would see half of River's silhouette in the pilot's chair when he kicked open the hatch to his bunk. Once inside, he locked the door and threw his towel across the room for good measure. Jayne flopped down on his bed, one foot hanging off the edge of the bed, and ran a hand over his face before putting it behind his head as an extra cushion.

What was Mal's problem, anyway? Jayne thought the man would be happy he wasn't breaking the rules—for once. Not like anyone else on this boat followed the "no crew romances" rule. Not that what he was having was a romance of any kind. He hadn't done romance since he was Riv—the crazy girl's age. Yeah, crazy, that's what she was. It was hard getting back in the habit of calling her that after he finally started using her name. But River was a person. The crazy girl was something he had lots of practice ignoring.

And she was! Crazy. Just because she had her meds and was mostly calm now, didn't mean that she still didn't have some days when you wondered. She did. And he remembered the last time she had a real bad day. She hit Mal, and would have done worse to him if he hadn't been fast enough to subdue her. A _xiong-meng de kuan-ren _thing like her, who would want that? Sex was one thing. She would probably be—

But she was a ruttin' package, she was. The crazy came along with the cute. The killer woman came with the…well, the woman. Girl-woman. She was really still a child, and had a child of her own to top it off. Kids needed a lot of looking after, and teaching rightly, and good role modeling. Jayne was none of these, nor did he want to be. It was too much responsibility, and he already gave up enough of his life being responsible. He gave up most of his childhood to help his ma around the house and in the little plot of land they had from the mining company to grow veggies to supplement a crappy protein diet. He gave up a good deal of his teen years to help raise his little brother. Once he got out on his own, he set out to live his life as responsibility-free as he could make it. He had his fill of little kids. He was done. He wanted none of his own, and he didn't want to help somebody else raise theirs.

The ship shook as it descended through the atmosphere of Greenleaf. Jayne groaned and forced his mind onto which weapons he would take with them to meet the new client. Since it was a meet and in public to boot, the weaponry should be minimal so as not to scare the man. As soon as he was weaponed up, Jayne joined the other crewmembers in the cargo bay.

"What are they doin'? We ain't bringin' an army to storm the meet, are we?"

"Burns, the man we're meetin' with, likes the whole family man image. I mentioned that my crew was like family, so he invited everyone to meet him at his family restaurant. So Inara, Dewey, and the family Tam will sit at one table while we schmooze the client at table number two."

"An' when the inevitable brawl breaks out?" Jayne asked.

"Simon, 'Nara, an' I take the kids," Kaylee jumped in, "an' let River clean up your all's mess."

Jayne scowled at Kaylee then looked back at Mal. "Mule won't hold all of us."

The Captain nodded, and crossed his arms, annoyed at his mercenary's stubbornness. "I know that. That's why we parked right outside a'town. We're walkin'."

"Cap—"

"Enough, Jayne! _Huai_ _le_. It's almost as though you don't want them goin' with us."

"I's just got a bad feelin' about it, is all."

Mal turned to River. "Lil' Albatross, you got any bad feelin's about tonight?"

"Other than the general desire to pummel something which has haunted me lately, I have no bad feelings whatsoever," River said.

Jayne snorted. "Kinda worried some little _yu jing shen bing gui nu_ is gonna be the one startin' the fight."

"If this is so, perhaps some _bu-ti-tie de nan_ ought to stay out of her way. Who knows what could happen in the tumult. Fists flying. Could get hurt on accident."

"Mal, she's threatenin' me!"

Simon snapped, "Maybe you deserve it."

"Maybe nobody was talkin' to you."

"Bi zui! Is this what we're back to?" Mal pinched the bridge of his nose. Not long ago, he would have been very happy to hear them start bickering with each other instead of their creepifying happy family routine. What was he thinking? "Both of you, shut up. Jayne, start walkin'. Tams, et al, we'll see you in town."

Jayne marched down the ramp and onto the red dirt of the poorly named moon Greenleaf. It was a tense and quiet walk to the half-bar, half-restaurant owned by the Burns family of New Tulsa. He could tell Mal was getting fed up, and Zoë kept shooting these poisonous glares at him. He wished she would come on out and say what was gnawing on her ass instead of sending him silent death threats.

Things settled down once they met with Theodore Burns, the new contact. Mal and Zoë went into full business mode. Jayne looked around the room, took in the exits, the other people in the small restaurant to make sure no one watched them too closely, and noted the waitstaff for anyone suspicious. He noticed the jukebox in the back corner as a good place to plant a bomb.

He zoned out on the menu after a while. He zoned out on River when the rest of the crew walked in and she took the table closest to the cashier—probably in case they needed a quick exit. He zoned somewhere else when River caught his eye.

River released her breathe in something that was half a sigh and half a snort. He was such a _pian ze de sha gua._ He was so awful she could just strangle him. She could love him so well if he would give her a chance, but the jackass refused to even make eye contact with her. Perhaps she should write his mother.

"I am going to go order drinks," River announced. "What does everyone want?"

"Sweet tea, for me," Kaylee said as she pulled over two booster seats for Angel and Dewey.

Simon asked if he could get a beer which caused the ladies to raise a few brows. "I know, I know. I've sunk to new lows."

Inara wanted lemonade. Dewey and Angel got milk. River walked up to the bar and gave her table's order. A song started playing from the jukebox, and she started a bouncing, twisting dance in place. A young man a few stools over who caught her eye and smiled. River looked to her right to make sure he was actually smiling at her. When she looked back, he nodded. _Yes, you._

He slid over a few seats and said, "Nice moves you have there."

"Used to take dance lessons," she said.

"I can tell. You've got good shimmying form."

"Th-thank you."

"I'm Samuel."

He extended his hand. River shook it. "River."

The bartender set the carrying tray with her drinks on the counter. River thanked him, told him what table they were sitting at, and to add the drinks to their bill. River smiled her goodbye to the man who flirted with her, and headed back to her table.

"Who was that, sweetie?" Inara asked.

"Name is Samuel. He liked my shimmying."

Simon frowned. "That's…nice."

River shrugged, and passed out the drinks. No sooner did she sit down than Samuel from the bar walked over. "I was wondering if you wanted to dance with a partner, Miss River."

"I, uh…." She glanced at Kaylee who discreetly nodded in approval. Inara backed her up, and Simon looked confused. River made one final covert glance over to Jayne. He had moved his chair so that his back was to her sometime during her trip to get drinks. Fine, he was ignoring her. She tossed her hair over her shoulder. "I would love to."

Jayne saw her out of the corner of his eye, so he turned to the open space between some of the tables and found River with some guy. The man went to the jukebox at the back wall and dropped some coin in. The song he picked started up. It had a quick beat, and he took River up and the two of them began to spin around the small open floor.

River seemed to enjoy herself. She grinned as they danced. Jayne gritted his teeth. He grabbed his bottle of beer and slumped in his seat.

Samuel made a few perfunctory jokes to put River at ease before he started the get-to-know-you questions. "Haven't seen ya in town before. You on a transport ship?"

"Yes. A firefly."

"Droppin' off or pickin' up?"

"Picking up, hopefully. My captain's still negotiating with a client."

He spun her under his arm, and asked, "How long you folks gonna be here?"

"If negotiations go well today, we will have the cargo by tomorrow."

"So I only have tonight to have dinner with you, then?"

River's body still moved, but her mind was frozen. Should she say no? There was no reason for her to say no, but then she felt odd saying yes.

Before she came up with a suitable answer, a man's voice yelled across the room, "Hey, Sammy! Lunch hour's 'bout up. We gotta head back to work."

"Yeah, I'm right behind ya!" He turned back to River. "Please? Come on, it's just dinner. Not like I'm expectin' nothin' except your pretty face and that smile."

"Sam!" one of his friend's called. "Let's go!"

"Alright," River answered.

Samuel grinned. "I'll find ya 'round six 'o'clock then."

River nodded. She frowned as she headed back to her table. She flopped down in her seat, and buried her head in her hands.

"What's wrong?" Kaylee asked. "Didn't'cha have fun dancin'?"

"The dancing was fun. That's not it."

Inara reached over and placed a hand on her arm. "Then what is it sweetie?"

"I accidentally agreed to have dinner with him tonight."

"You did what?" Simon choked.

"I didn't mean to say yes. He looked so hopeful, and I didn't know what to say, and yes came out."

Kaylee could commiserate. She remembered doing that when she was younger. Sometimes it ended up fun, though. "I think it's a good idea. If you really wanna get over Jayne, this is the best way to do it. Go see that there's more stars in the galaxy. It'll do you good."

"I agree," Inara said. "It will give you a chance to see whether your feelings for Jayne are genuine, or if you were simply drawn to him due to a lack of other options."

Simon snorted into his drink. When Kaylee elbowed him, he shrugged. "I realize I'm the only one who's happy about Jayne calling it quits on whatever the two of you had going. The whole thought of you two together makes me uncomfortable."

"Simon," River gave him a long suffering stare, "would there be anyone I paired with that would not give you an uncomfortableness?"

"See!" Simon pointed at her. "That's what I'm talking about."

"Be quiet, Simon," Kaylee said. "Just sit there in your big brother pants and be glad River's going out with someone else now."

"But," River struggled, "what will I wear? I have nothing date-appropriate."

"You leave that to us," Inara said.

&&&

Jayne was ready to rip Mal's head off. "Tell me you ain't lettin' her go out with him!"

"She's a grown woman who makes her own decisions."

"Since when?" Jayne demanded.

"Since I said so!"

"We got cargo to drop—"

"Gotta get the cargo first," Mal pointed out. "It's not comin' until tomorrow, so you all got the night off. That includes River."

"What if it's a trap by them Academy people to get her back?"

"I think they'd probably be a little more inventive than luring River out on a date, an' I surely think that River would be havin' a wild freak out after Readin' it off him."

Jayne crossed his arms and leaned back against the door jamb on the bridge. "This is gonna blow up in your face, just like always."

"Jayne," Mal paused on his way out, "you are the only one who has a problem with this. You don't want her goin' out with this guy, you go tell her that."

Jayne waited until Mal's footsteps faded out before he stomped down, through the galley, and to the weight bench to work off this inky feeling in his gut. It might have been hours later when the knock finally came on the outer airlock door, and Mal left off the game of horseshoes with Simon to open it up and let River's date inside.

He was kind of short, Jayne noticed. He was wiry, too. His clothes were low class, but they were clean, and his boots were shined up. All in all, Jayne could snap him in half without too much exertion.

Inara's shuttle door slid open, and girly laughter came out. Jayne looked up as River walked down the two flights of stairs followed by Inara and Kaylee. Angel wasn't with them, so that meant she must be up in the mess with Zoë and the brat.

River wore a long, dark red, knit sweater-thing over a white sundress that left most of her upper chest bare. Her hair looked soft and wavy, and the top was pulled back away from her face so that he could see a pair of big gold hoops she must have borrowed from Inara hanging from her ears. There were boots on her feet, but these looked to be some kind of reptile skin dyed red to match the sweater-coat.

The girl was smiling. He could tell from across the bay that she had make-up on. Her lips were pinker than usual. Her eyes were darker. She wasn't exactly Inara gorgeous, or Zoë hot, or even Kaylee cute. She was just sort of...River pretty.

See, this was why women-folk weren't to be trusted. They acted all sloppy on you one minute, and the next they were off with someone else.

River turned to the women standing behind her and collected a gold bag as they wished her luck. She nodded to the Captain and her brother, and slid her arm through her date's when he offered it.

Mal shut the door after them. "They grow up so fast. Makes me all weepy."

"She looked like a whore, but considerin' who did her make-up, that ain't a big surpise."

Picking a fight with near every person in that room was probably not the brightest of ideas, but he felt the need to spread his discontent around a little. He listened to the roar of offense and was about to start in on Mal when Kaylee marched up and cuffed him on the ear like his ma used to do.

"You are dumb!" she shouted at him. "You are the dumbest _liu kou shui de biao-tze hr hou-tze de ur-tze_ I have ever met, and that includes Simon and Cap!"

She talked over their protests. "You keep sayin' you don't want anythin' to do with River and Angel, but you have this big problem lettin' her get on with her life. I ain't sayin' Samuel's her soul mate, but someone out there is, and she deserves to find someone who makes her happy. So you better let her."

"Like there's anyone out there what wants a freakish, witchy, know-it-all, skinny little _po fu _with a kid of her own? Too damn much responsibility."

"Jayne Cobb, you love responsibility! You crave it."

"You're talkin' out your ass."

"I do recall you once askin' us what the chain of command was. You remember that?" Kaylee pushed. "You said it was the chain you go get and beat us with 'til we know who's in ruttin' command. Every ruttin' time it looked like Mal an' Zoë might not come back from a job, you were the first one to rush in an' try to take charge. Cap'n asked you point blank if you wanted to run this ship, an' you said _yes_! That's a lot of responsibility, Jayne."

"Like I'd'a asked if I thought I had a snowball's chance'a gettin' it!"

"That's a big ole steamin' pile of bullshit." She planted one hand on her hip and wagged her finger in his face. "Now, I'm sayin' this for your own good. You need to figure out what it is you want, and if River ain't it then you need to stop harrassin' her to make yourself feel better about bein' confused—it ain't helpin' a one of ya. But I think you do want her 'cause you're sittin' here arguin' with me instead of goin' out into town where I know there are at least two bars that prob'ly have whores a'plenty in them.

Maybe you didn't get the message we all did from losin' Shepherd Book an' Wash. Nobody has all the time in the world to figure out what they want. An' ya lose it too soon anyway. Figure it out, Jayne, an' move on." Kaylee teared up as she finished her tirade. "Now I'm upset. I hope you're happy!"

Inara came and guided Kaylee away. "Come on, mei-mei. I'll make you some tea. So much stress isn't good for the baby."

Simon spared a last glare for the mercenary before he caught up with his wife on the stairs and put an arm around her shoulders. Mal opened his mouth to say something, but Jayne got up from the bench and strode across the bay, and headed up to his bunk taking the stairs three at a time.

&&&

It was late, but not terribly late when River returned from her date. She was halfway across the cargo bay when Inara quietly called from the top of the stairs. Inara held her finger up to ask River to wait as she descended.

"Mal wanted to stay up and wait for you," she said. "I finally managed to talk him into going to bed so long as I stayed up to listen for you. He really is such a father when it comes to you and Kaylee."

"Yes," River giggled.

Inara led her over to a crate, and they sat down. "So? Did you have a nice time?"

"It was pleasant. We went to a nice restaurant, and then we walked down Main Street until we found a cinema, and we watched a comedy. He made commentary throughout the whole movie. At first it was cute, but it got annoying. The only thing that saved him was the copious amounts of popcorn and sweets he bought me."

Inara laughed along with her. "Was there a kiss goodnight?"

"Yes. It was more of an obligation kiss than anything."

"Ah, the sordid world of dating." She sighed. It was a world she was never truly a part of until she started whatever this was with Mal. They were still in a fight, but seeing Jayne act like a fool made Mal at least be civil to her. She was still trying to find a way to merge her two very different worlds.

"How was Angel?"

Inara hesitated. "She…got cranky. She didn't want to go to bed without you, and Kaylee and Simon had some trouble."

River sighed. "I'm sorry. How did they get her down?"

"Actually, it was Jayne."

"Jayne?" River's eyebrows rose.

Inara nodded, and pointed down into the lounge. "She was screaming so hard she almost swallowed her tongue. Jayne finally took her and he managed to get her to sleep about an hour ago."

River hung her head and hid behind her hair. "He'll blame me."

"If he does, he's a bigger jackass than we gave him credit for." She squeezed River's shoulder. "Night, sweetie."

River waited until Inara was on the stairs before she headed down to the lounge.

Jayne woke up when the outer door opened and shut across the bay. He could hear Inara and River talking, though not what they said. After a minute, Inara's feet padded back across the grated floor, and the heels of River's red cowboy boots clicked as she came down the stairs.

"Jayne?"

"I'm awake." He settled his arm around Angel so she would not slide, and sat up. "Had a nice time, huh?"

"It was fine. Thank you for taking care of Angel."

"Yeah, whilst you were out havin' a grand ole time, your daughter was havin' a royal fit."

River flinched. "I'm sure it was a great inconvenience for you since playing house is your least favorite activity. Perhaps she could not think of another way to get your attention."

"What?"

"You have been ignoring her. She doesn't understand. She misses you. Used to be with you always, but now you won't look at her. Had to do something go get your attention, let you know she exists. Wants you to see her."

"Don't even start." Careful of Angel, he stood up, and walked toward her. "You are the last one I wanna hear this from tonight."

The air around him was spiked with red. He had swallowed a lot of anger earlier in the evening. River shook her head. "I don't want to fight."

Angel snuffled in her sleep drawing both of their attentions.

"Here. Take her."

Jayne transferred the baby to River. She ignored his smell and his closeness. He ignored the feel of the skin on her throat and the brush of her hair on his arm as Angel passed between them. As soon as River had her daughter, Jayne left.

River put her nose into Angel's hair and breathed deep. She still smelled a little like Jayne. "It's okay, baby. We will be fine."

**Translations**:

_yi da tuo da-bian_—big lump of shit

_xiong-meng de kuan-ren_—violent lunatic

_Huai le_—Something's wrong.

_yu jing shen bing gui nu_ – crazy woman (roughly)

_bu-ti-tie de nan_—inconsiderate boy

_pian ze de sha gua—_stubborn idiot

_liu kou shui de biao-tze hr hou-tze de ur-tze_—son of a drooling whore and a monkey

_po fu—_shrew (i.e. bitch)


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

**Note 1:** Unabashed reference to _Serenity BDM_ outtakes as well as the deleted Training House scene.

**Note 2:** Thanks to **Chase** **Me** for pointing out that (while Jayne was acting like a butt-head) he deserves a chance for a rebuttal.

Mal walked into Inara's shuttle without knocking. He opened his mouth to call for her, but spotted her kneeling on a small rug in the center of the room. Her face was relaxed, eyes closed, and her breathing even. A stick of incense burned on the table next to her and made the air smell of sandalwood.

Mal stopped a moment to stare. Their fight was weeks ago, but while they were civil to one another, they had yet to find a solution to their problem. Said problem grew more and more imminent.

"Mal, I know you're there," she said, and opened her eyes. "If you're going to enter without knocking, would you at least close the door behind you?"

He raised his brows, but did as she asked. Once the door was shut, however, he lost what he came in to tell her. "I, uh….We'll be on Boros in another hour or so. The landing sensors were on the circuit board that fried a few days ago, so it might get a little bumpy."

"Thank you for the warning." He stood a moment, nodded, and turned to go. "Mal! Can we talk?"

Mal braced himself. He knew what this was about. Inara's eighteen month sabbatical was up in another week. The hell of it was he spent the last month angry, and wasted time he could have spent with her. Now it was too late.

"You heard back from the training house?"

"Yes, I have." She took a breath and plowed on. "Mal, do you know why I accepted a position at a training house instead of continuing work as an active Companion? When I left the first time, I mean."

He turned back to face her, and crossed his arms. "Can't say I do. Good pay. Nice location. Not as much physical strain."

She closed her eyes, but let the intended insult slide off her. She opened them again and met Mal's gaze. "I chose not to continue servicing clients because I knew I couldn't do it anymore. When you slept with Nandi, it made me question…everything, you, myself. My whole life, I saw sex as a way to comfort and heal, and while I still believe that, I hated that you touched someone else like that. I guess you could say that I got to experience what it must have been like for you…and I hated it. I never took another client after that."

Part of him was pleased that he'd made her hurt. It was a mean, hard part of him that Mal threw up to protect the easily damaged underside of him, that part extending from throat to belly. "Should I be thankin' you for sharin' this with me?"

"I'm sharing this with you so that you understand. Before we got involved with each other, I wasn't with anyone else for months. And I don't want to be with anyone else now. Can you say the same?"

He gritted his teeth, pride wanting to say something damaging, but he was truthful. "I can."

Inara rose to her feet. "I spoke to Sheydra, the superintendent of the training house on Paquin where I was teaching. We had quite a long conversation about what exactly I'm going to do, what with everything being the way it is. She was quite understanding, and, honestly, loves any kind of intrigue."

This sounded interesting. Mal uncrossed his arms and stepped closer. "Go on."

"I, uh." His eyes were so blue. She missed him so much—emotionally and physically.

_Come on, now,_ she scolded herself. _You were trained better than this. You can certainly hold a conversation with him without melting into his arms._

"She is willing to have me as a part-time teacher. I'll spend eight weeks there, and two weeks off."

"She does sound understanding."

"I," she breathed a laugh, "I told her that Kaylee wanted me to be here with her when she had her baby, and that River needed a stable mother figure in her life. I don't think she believed a word of it. She kept muttering about pirates and burning temples."

Mal chuckled, but never a fool, he asked, "What's in it for them? I doubt they'd give up one of their stars—destined to be House Priestess and all—for nothin'."

"Yes, well, you would be called on to transport a few…let's say accoutrements or accessories that the Guild uses that don't completely comply with Alliance trade regulations. You will have the protection of the Guild, and we're too powerful for the Alliance to completely control. But it's you I'm worried about. Can you trust me for two months out of your sight? I mean, you have a bad habit of assuming the absolute worst of me, and—"

"I could do it," he said. He realized he jumped in awfully quick, and automatically backpedaled. "Two months is a shortish period of time. I'm confident in my…masculine…ness. I can wait."

He cleared his throat. "What about payin' back the Guild?"

"This way will take much longer," she admitted. "An active Companion can usually repay the Guild by the time she is in her early thirties. As a teacher, I figured it will take me well into my late forties. Are you going to make me regret that?"

Mal had his arms around her before she drew her next breath. "No, ma'am. Not if I can help it."

&&&

A little over an hour, _Serenity_ made her decent into Verbena's atmosphere. Mal, River, and Kaylee were just barely able to land thanks to River's calculations, Kaylee providing extra power to the thrusts, and Mal standing next to the pilot's chair and back-spaceship flying. That they managed to land safely was considered a miracle by all, regardless of individual belief in a higher power.

As soon as they touched dirt, the Captain sent Kaylee and River to the nearest parts store while Inara watched the little ones. Jayne was ordered to go along with them to make sure they didn't get into trouble, and hopefully get his Very Intimidating Person discount. The only reason he didn't refuse was because he couldn't stand the harridan Mal and Zoë went to meet. She said things even Jayne would blush to say. And she had an annoying habit of grabbing his ass. Normally he wouldn't mind that, but she was well into her eighties and was missing most of her teeth. It was like being hit on by his grandma. He could handle a lot of things, but that was too much.

Not to say that Jayne was exactly pleasant to be with on this outing. He still did his best to ignore River, and she him. Kaylee tried to keep a conversation going during the walk into the small city, but it fell flat every time. It was a relief to finally make it to the city's large all-in-one store even if the smell of the electronics made Kaylee's stomach start to roll. At almost five months pregnant she thought the nauseous bit would be over by now. She was looking forward to the weird cravings portion of her pregnancy.

They split up inside the store. Kaylee gave a list to River of things she knew she needed, and she and Jayne went to find odds and ends that could be fitted together to replace the fried board. River wandered the long aisles stopping occasionally to read the box of a new part, or scan the prices of some wiring.

Kaylee didn't say anything to him, but she kept shooting little glares at Jayne over her shoulder. Jayne ignored her for as long as he could—which, admittedly, wasn't long—before he risked all hell and yelled at a pregnant lady.

"Would'ja quit, already!"

"Quit what?" she feigned innocence.

"Quit lookin' at me like I'm some kinda evil idiot."

"Well, if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck—"

"What do you know?" he growled to keep from drawing attention. "You said your piece all loud and in public, but did'ja once ask my side of it? No! You yelled at me good and proper, but you got no idea why I did it, anyway."

Kaylee put a crinkled hose back on the shelf, and turned to him with her hands on her hips. She was really going to be a great mother. She already had all of the mannerisms down.

"And what might those reasons be?"

Jayne stepped away and then back in a miniature pace before he folded his arms, and squinted down at her. "You never met my family. My Pa—not sayin' he's not a good man; he certainly ain't one of them wife beaters or lay-about's—but he had to work near all damn week down at the mine to bring home enough just to feed us. That left me with a big share of the workload from early on. I took care of my Ma after every one of the little ones was born, and after every one died 'cept for Matty. After that, I took care of him. I got a job to bring home more money. I stayed at home for longer than anybody gives me credit for 'til I knew they could make it without me.

"But you know what? It wasn't my job! It was _their_ job to take care of _us_, not mine to take care of them. I've done the whole responsibility thing, spent my whole damn childhood doin' the responsibility thing, and I got sick of it. Them girls? They ain't my responsibility. It's the Doc's job to figure out his crazy sis, not mine! It's the girl's job to take care of Angel, not mine!"

Not caring that his voice rose, and there were people looking at him now, Jayne barreled on. "An' who the hell said I'd be any good at it, anyway? Y'all think I'm a walkin' mess, not smart enough to know the up end of a downwind latrine from the kitchen sink, and just violent enough to throw the kid across the room when I'm mad."

"Now that ain't true, Jayne!" she protested. She couldn't believe he would think that—of himself or of them. "None of us think any of that stuff about you."

"You all say it all the time."

"Oh, Jayne, we're just teasin'." He made a grunt of disbelief. "Honest we were. Family just likes to poke at each other. I can't count how many times my brothers called me 'chunky' and 'lard-butt.' We honestly don't mean most'a that stuff we call ya; at least I don't —an' you dish out just as good as you get, you know! You always teased Wash about bein' short, you call Mal dumb just as much as he lobs it at you, an' you _still_ call Simon prissy. River's crazy, 'Nara's a whore, an' I still ain't gotten you back for that gyno comment when Simon first got onboard."

Jayne tried to hide a little smirk. Ah, the good old days.

"Hundan," she muttered. Kaylee bit her lip and wondered if she ought to tell Jayne. Why not? It might help. "Now, don't go holdin' this over Simon when we get back, but he's real nervous about us havin' a baby. When he found out, the one he was watchin' to see how it works was you. Not just the diaper changin' an' feedin' an' stuff, but the real parenty stuff. When to let Angel cry herself out, and when to go pick her up; when to help her, or when to let her do it herself. Ain't always agreed with ya, but I think he has more respect for ya than he lets on.

"Anyway, we don't think you're a mess, either. An' every one of us knows you'd never bring harm to Angel. I have never seen you hurt anybody that didn' have it comin'. You protect _Serenity_, an' ya keep Cap'n an' Zoë from gettin' hurt as much."

Jayne rolled his eyes. "What I get paid for."

Kaylee punched his arm. "You wouldn't turn on us now, an' we all know it. And we do not think you're dumb. The things you say…well they aren't always the smartest thing. You sorta talk in the opposite direction that River does. She uses all them metaphors and gets herself tangled up. You tend to take things real literal. It's why you two seemed so nice together. Don't look like that. You were happy, even if it was just as friends. Neither of ya are very happy now."

"Yeah, but it ain't anybody else's business," Jayne grumbled.

"Small ship. Can't help knowin' everybody's business."

She shrugged and went back to her original mission. Jayne reached up on the top shelf for what Kaylee pointed to, but his mind was off elsewhere. He honestly didn't think that he would do as good a job at being Mr. Reliable Family Man. Not that he wanted to try, he reminded himself. It wasn't that.

Funny thing was, when he was with River and Angel, he hadn't been trying to do anything. It just sort of…flowed. He didn't think about it. He did what he did because it needed to be done. He hadn't felt trapped or pressured until everyone started making a big deal out of it. While he was with them, it was nice.

He shook his head. The last person he wanted to know he was thinking was Kaylee. She'd rub it in his face that she was the one who got through his thick skull. Couldn't go giving her the satisfaction.

&&&

River searched among the long spools of copper and micro-fiber wiring for the correct length and power grade. She calculated the required conductivity over another ten year period with a two thousand volt cushion for unexpected power surges, and grabbed the fifteen-strand fiberoptic wire.

Urgent mental whispers rode over the soft sounds of consumer-friendly music. A chill crept up her back, and she could feel eyes peering through the rows of goods. Careful to keep her movements casual so as not to alert whoever was looking for her, she set her basket down, and scanned her surroundings to determine what could be used as a weapon if it came to that.

She heard harsh pants coming closer. A second later, the searcher cleared the shelving at the head of the aisle. River recognized the color and pattern of his mind. She spun so fast her hair haloed around her.

"Levi."

His green eyes were pinched, and the characteristic loose work-out pants and tee were rumpled from his rush. A sigh whooshed out when he recognized her.

River was stunned. "What are you doing here?"

Levi walked to her, hands up in supplication. "River. We have to talk. Now. In public is probably not the best place for it, though."

All grace lost in panic, River stumbled away from him. "They're here," she breathed. "No. No! No, no, no, no, I won't go!"

He followed her backwards, gripped her arm, and put a gentle hand on her mouth. "Shhhh. Sh, River, listen." He glanced around. "They are here, but I kissed a range of ass, pulled in every favor I ever accrued at work, and promised a shit-load more to be able to talk to you first. But they only gave me so much time. I looked all over before I found you, so I don't have much time."

Levi tried to figure out if she was really listening to him, but she always looked alert even when she forced her mind to go numb to get through the training they subjected her to. He took her face in his hands. It was best to talk to her through even if she wasn't really listening.

"You have to come back, River, or they'll take RT2 back. They'll do it legally."

She looked up and he knew he had her attention. Levi removed his hands, and smoothed them over his hair held back in a loose ponytail. "Look, I…I don't want to do this. I'd give just about anything not to. But it's you, or it's a little baby."

"It's you're baby," she murmured. His face flushed, and she knew she Read him right.

"It was years and years ago," he admitted, "before my Dad got sick and I had to take the job at the Academy. I was out on my own for the first time, I guess I over-extended myself and needed some quick cash. I never would have dreamed those doctors would find out and use me instead of…. But they did. After you left. I'm pretty sure they got all of it because they had me come in and sign some thing, and gave me a little bonus."

"But…" she shook her head. "But when you donated, you signed away parental rights…."

"A lot of powerful people put a lot of money into you and RT2. They're going to reinstate my rights, take you to court, and sue you for custody. They're going to question your mental stability, and the kind of life you lead on a transport ship, and find you unfit."

"Why are you doing this?"

"I don't want to! The last thing I want is for RT2—"

"Angel! Her name is Angel, _ni hun qiu_!"

He took a breath, and nodded. "Angel. I don't want Angel to go back to them. I saw what they did to you. I don't want that to happen to my daughter. That's why I begged them to let me find you, try to convince you to come back on your own. They're willing to let her go if they have you. Please, River."

"How can you do this?"

"If there was any other way to get my Dad the treatment and care he needs, I'd do it," he assured her. "If they let me, that is. At this point, they probably wouldn't let me leave."

Levi brushed a hand over her hair. "There's an empty warehouse the funding uses for storage a little ways from the docks where your ship is parked."

River's head fell forward, her hands buried in her hair to guard her temples at the mention of "the funding." It was the term everyone at the Academy used to talk about Blue Sun—the company that supplied most of the monetary backing as well as equipment, supplies, clothing, food, and bedding for the trainees. Their promo-icon was everywhere.

"You need to come by seven this evening. You're already landlocked, so if you don't come, the Feds will be called, you'll be arrested for kidnapping, and they'll take you to court right here."

River closed her eyes as much to stop her tears as to keep from looking at him. She felt Levi press a kiss into the top of her head in a big-brother-like gesture that always helped to calm her down during a particularly intense training session.

In a moment, his footsteps retreated, and River let out a single sob, only one, and then picked up her basket of consol wiring. She ran down the main aisle following the pattern of two familiar minds rather than try to see through bleary eyes.

Jayne spotted her first. Her head was down, hair hiding her face, and her shoulders hunched. She was breathing fast. He readied himself for whatever was following her, ready to bend down and retrieve the knife from his boot, but nothing came.

Kaylee looked up when she heard River's quick footsteps. "Honey? What's wrong?"

"Have to go back to the ship." She pushed the basket into Kaylee's arms. "Found the wiring. Didn't—didn't see anything else."

"River—?" Kaylee tried.

"Have to go."

River turned and ran. Kaylee looked up at Jayne who put the things he held into the basket. "Stay put."

He went to the end of the aisle, and looked around. He saw River escape through the front doors, but no one else took any mind of her. None of the other shoppers noticed her or tried to follow. The staff just shrugged. She'd obviously left empty handed, so they had no call to go after her.

Jayne didn't like it. River wasn't crazy, jumping at shadows and calling them mind-eating monsters anymore, so she wouldn't be scared off by nothing.

He went back to Kaylee. "You got everything you need?"

"Not yet—what's wrong with River? Is somebody after her?"

"Didn't see anybody. Let's just get them supplies and head home. Somethin's not right. She wouldn't just run off like that."

Kaylee nodded. In less than five minutes, she had everything to rewire the circuit board and patch together a new buffer. "All right. Let's go."

They paid for the items quickly, and headed back to the docks. Jayne kept alert for anything out of the ordinary. He didn't know exactly what he was looking for—Reavers, a government operative, a plague of locusts—but he made note of anything suspicious.

After about three blocks, that list was pretty long. There was the toothless man on the last corner who called himself Napoleon and yelled about the end of days. A woman with blue hair, no eyebrows, and more piercings than skin that was mumbling under her breath at her candy bar wrapper. A two-legged dog performing for an audience, an unnervingly clean window in an otherwise dirty warehouse, and a loud buzzing from the sole tree that did indeed sounded like locusts. He wished he had a specific suspiciousness to focus on.

Jayne and Kaylee were about to step into the dockside throng when two men who definitely did not belong in the crowd of common laborers and spacefarers. They wore neat and pressed black suits, starched white shirts, and crisp ties in parallel lines as they walked side-by-side. The other folks on the dock gave them a wide berth on silent instinct. The crowd parted a bit, and Jayne pulled in a quick breath through his teeth. He pulled Kaylee back and into an alleyway.

"What is it? What's goin' on?"

"Two-by-two, hands of ruttin' blue," he muttered.

"Huh?"

"Look." He pointed to the two men. "Try an' tell me them two are lookin' to hire a transport. Now look at their hands."

Kaylee squinted. Jayne could tell when she realized how very bad things had gotten when her eyes flew wide, and she reached up to cover her gasping mouth. "_Lao tian, bu._ They got blue hands."

Jayne grunted, distracted with watching the men and planning a way around them.

"Oh my god, oh my god," Kaylee muttered.

A younger man, probably not yet thirty, approached the two Blue Gloves head on. He didn't look like one of the barkers for the passenger ships. His clothes were more casual, but they looked synthetic, like someone from the Core would wear, not the homespun of the boarder and Rim. And that ponytail was a dead giveaway. No one from further out than Persephone would wear their hair longer than need be. It was easier to care for when there were other cares to worry about, and long hair got in a working man's way.

There was something familiar about him. Something itched at the back of Jayne's mind, but he couldn't place the man.

"Follow my lead. Just look straight ahead, and try not to look scared or nervous," he told her.

"Why?"

"We're goin' right by 'em. Need to know what the hell they're sayin'."

Kaylee didn't have time to protest as Jayne put his arm around her shoulder, pulled her in close, and left the alley. They wove their way closer to where the Blue Hands and Core Ponytail stood. There was a ship docked not far away, and Jayne pulled Kaylee to a stop to look over the registration kiosk as if they were looking for a ride.

Jayne focused all his attention on making out the tail end of what sounded like a tense conversation. His muscles coiled at Ponytail's shout.

"I said she'll be there!" It was the same voice that told River to knock him out when they were rescuing Angel from the Academy. Son of a bitch. "River knows what's best for everyone. She is not going to let you take her daughter. She'll come."

"For your sake, Mr. Santiello, we hope so," one of the Blue Hands said.

Jayne tightened his grip on Kaylee. "Come on."

"I thought I heard River's name? Did they get her?"

"No, they ain't got her," he reassured her. "But they're tryin' to make her come to them. They're threatenin' Angel."

They rushed down the pier drawing as little attention as they could to themselves until they reached _Serenity_.

"Go up an' start on that rewirin'," Jayne directed. "Wanna get out of here as damn soon as possible."

Kaylee broke into a jouncing run, her fear for her sister and niece warring with the need to be careful of her pregnancy. Jayne went slower, and once he was inside, he hit the button to raise the ramp and lock the doors behind him.

He ran up the stairs to the bridge, but the room was still empty. He looked in the mess, and then went to pound on Inara's door. The Companion threw it open, and looked ready to grab that bow of hers and do some damage.

"What's wrong?"

"Where's River?" He leaned around her and looked inside the shuttle. Dewey was still there, but no Angel. "Where the hell's Angel?"

"River came back a few minutes ago and went to put her down for a nap."

Jayne pounded down the stairs with Inara calling questions at his back. "Just get on the com an' get Mal an' Zoë back here now."

Jayne stopped for a second and stuck his head in the infirmary. "Doc. Kaylee needs your help on the bridge."

Simon dropped his cleaning supplies and walked to the door. "Is she alright? Is it the baby? Do I need my bag?"

"Nah. She'll explain we ya get there, but you need to move it."

He looked ready to demand a better explanation, but the hard lines and outright fear in Jayne's face convinced him otherwise. Simon nodded, and rushed for the stairs.

Quick strides took him to River's room. He hauled open the door and found River holding onto the rail of Angel's crib staring down at the sleeping baby.

Jayne looked at her standing there so calm while he was wound up enough that he seriously considered going back out there, hunting the Blue Hands down, and killing them. Or, if plan A wasn't possible, grabbing Angel and River and hightailing it off _Serenity_ as fast as he could.

"What the hell are you doin'?" he asked. "Shouldn't you be up on the bridge tryin' to hotwire the ship to get away from them _yao ming wang ba dan_? We need to be flyin' the fuck outta here."

"Can't," she whispered. "Landlocked. Besides. No running this time."

"So we're fightin' then?" he asked, warming to the idea. "I can get behind—"

"No. I'm going back. Won't endanger Angel or the crew anymore."

He stared for a beat.

"Like hell you are!"

Angel jerked in her sleep, and started whimpering. River glared at Jayne as she reached in and rubbed circles on her daughter's back until she settled. "Keep your voice down. I will not walk out of here while she is awake."

Jayne grabbed her above her elbow and hauled her across the hall to Simon's old bedroom shutting both doors in between. "You ain't walkin' out of here, period. After we spent all that time hidin' you _away_ from them Blue Handed hundáns, you're gonna stroll on back?"

"I have to."

"No, you don't! We took down that Operative. We can take them, too."

"We live because the Operative allowed us to do so, and yes, I do!"

"You're goin' back to get your brain cut up, you remember that, right?"

"I am not a wide-eyed fourteen-year-old this time. I have full knowledge of procedure and expectations. I am going."

"_Ni zhao-si ma?_ I'm willin' ta help ya to the other world with a nice bullet 'cause it's gotta be better than the way they'll send ya."

She blinked hard and sniffed. "They will take Angel. They will take her back there, and they will do it legally. They will hurt her, and she won't know why, and she will grow up thinking that that life is normal. I know it's not. I will not let her life be ruined because I am a coward!"

"They couldn't do it, anyway," he argued. "What're they gonna say? 'We made her from stolen DNA an' now we wanna take her back from the mother that was under the age of consent an' never signed her away in the first place to cut open her brain and make her a super killer?'"

"Levi is Angel's father."

"Who the rutting hell is—you mean the jackass from the Academy? The one you kicked in the head?"

"Yes. The government is reinstating his parental rights. They will take me to court, find me an unfit mother, and award him custody."

"_Yi da tuo da-bian._"

"He's not," she defended. At Jayne's disbelieving snort, she continued. "He's good. Better to me than most. Helped me through post-surgery psychosis, taught me how to work past pain and fear, focus on the target. He held my hair back when I vomited after my first kill. Levi was a friend to me when others only saw me as a subject to be molded and tweaked. He wouldn't be there if the government wasn't paying for his father's medical treatment."

"Oh, yeah, he sounds great. A real prince for sellin' out a two-year-old what's his own daughter. A genuine gentleman for helpin' ya after them that he works for cut bits outta your brain."

"He is a friend!"

"He was gettin' paid to turn you into a killer—some friend!"

"Don't you dare say one more word about him! You don't know what it was like in there. I would have gone so much crazier—I would have given up and let myself die if it hadn't been for Levi."

"I ain't a genius, but I'm pretty sure there's a term for that."

"Are you accusing me of having Stockholm syndrome?"

"Don't know what that is, but prob'ly!"

River shook her head and backed up until her legs hit the bed. "This is not the point. Was just trying to explain the legitimacy of an attempt to gain custody of Angel. So far off topic. It is not about me. It is about her. I will go back willingly because I refuse to let them have her."

"They can't take her if'n they're dead," he pointed out.

Her gaze flew to his. "You can't kill them."

"Why not? They robots or somthin'?"

"N-no. Human. Or started out that way."

"If'n they're human, they're alive. Things that are alive die. My job to help that along."

"No!" She put her hands to her ears trying to protect the sides of her head, and she sat down hard on the bed. "You can't! They win, they always win, and there's blood, and fear, and pain, and screaming, and they'll take me back! Punish me for being gone so long! They'll take—and they'll put—and it _hurts_!"

Jayne crouched down in front of her and pulled her hands away. He kept her wrists held in her lap with one hand, and made her look at him with his left. "Hey. None'a that. You leave those sumbitches to me. Mal an' Zoë'll help. You're brother an' Kaylee can make sure they can't call in backup, and 'Nara can take Angel an' Dewey off in the shuttle an' hide somewhere's if'n they do. All you gotta do is take out…Lewis, or Larry…."

"Levi."

"Yeah, him," Jayne grunted.

River's mouth dared a little quirk in one corner before fresh tears leaked out. She dropped her chin to hide her face.

"Now, hey." Jayne stroked her wrist with his thumb. "I know it ain't one'a Mal's plans, but that's why I'm thinkin' this one'll work."

He earned a gurgled laugh.

"That's not it. Don't think I can do it. I don't think I can fight them. I tried once. It's…" she lifted her eyes, "everything goes red. Turned into liquid from the inside out. I'll see them, and I will freeze up. Comply or run, there is no third choice."

"You just keep thinkin' on Angel and gettin' back to her. I'll handle the rest."

River looked in one blue eye then the other, her own gone speculative. "Said it yourself: this is your plan, not Mal's. Why do you care? Thought you were done with us. Not your responsibility, not your problem, no more playing house, no more playing big damn hero to the helpless little girls."

Jayne dropped her hands and sat back on his heels. He could say he didn't care, though current circumstances proved otherwise. He could say he was doing it because it was the right thing like fighting to release the Miranda signal had been the right thing, but that was a hollow explanation in this case. The truth was he didn't mind the responsibility. Taking care of her and Angel, making sure they were safe and happy, was already so much a part of him he didn't question it when he knew they needed him.

"Um…well." Did he really have to say this out loud? Couldn't she just Read him and know? But no. Psychic abilities working for him instead of against him was too much to ask. "See, I think the thing is…uh. I didn't like it when everybody made it seem like I had to take care of ya, like it was my job. I always hated it that my Pa made takin' care of Ma and Matty my job 'cause it wasn't. Wasn't my wife, wasn't my kid. So after I left home, I didn't take no responsibility for nobody. Not any crew I rode with, not any of my partners, or people I worked for. They all said I had to be loyal, an' I wasn't doin' nothin' I didn't want to. _Pian zhi de_, I guess.

"But, eh, if you were mine—I mean, not _mine_, mine, but sorta mine—uh…then….Then you would be my responsibility, I guess. Don't mind takin' care of you if that's the case."

"I don't want to be a duty, Jayne," she said.

"Yeah, well, in the extended version of my plan, I'd be gettin' some perks, too." He tried a watered down suggestive smirk, and that seemed to work. River got a little color back. "Not that I'm just in it for perks. An' it would be mutual perks, don't get me wrong. I'm pretty good at perkin'."

River waved her hands in surrender. "Stop saying 'perk' like that! I fully comprehend the innuendo!" She dropped her hands in her lap. "If that was the initiation of a romantic relationship, it was not quite what I was envisioning."

"What you were envisionin' prob'ly had me in tights spoutin' poetry."

River laughed at the imagery. "Hardly. I think the mere possibility would cataclysmically alter the 'Verse as we know it."

Jayne had to agree with her there.

She sobered. "There is one perk I'm going to have to demand. I won't settle for less."

"Yeah. I figured. But can we do this later? After we're done with the savin' you an' Angel from creepy Blue Handed guys?"

River opened her mouth to say yes, but stopped. Was she just maneuvered? Should she be angry? She did just get what she wanted for months, so why not go with it? Probably best to continue letting Jayne think it was all his idea.

"I'm willing to go with your plan. But," she held up her finger when Jayne was about to speak, "if things go bad, I am going with them. Keeping Angel safe is top priority. Dong le ma?"

Jayne frowned, but he nodded. "A'right. Lets go tell the crew."

River quirked a half-smile. "They're just down the hall. They heard most of that."

He glared back at the door. "Damnit."

_ni hun qiu_—you no-good bastard

_lao tian, bu_—oh god, no

_yao ming wang ba dan_—dangerous cuckolds

_ni zhao-si ma_—are you looking to die?

_yi da tuo da-bian_—a big lump of shit

_pian zhi de_stubborn


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

**Rated R**—for violence, language, and extreme morbidity.

Jayne set Vera up on the rooftop next door from the Blue Sun warehouse. An unconscious watchman he took out moments before lay next to Vera's stand. There was a matching set of snipers out cold on the roof to the left. Zoë sat on the rooftop directly across from the warehouse, and Mal waited on the ground for his cue to upload a virus River and Kaylee concocted that should crash the surveillance system for several blocks.

Jayne glanced at the sun setting behind the shipping district. It was almost seven. River should be nearing the building. Jayne licked his lips and adjusted his grip on the gun.

He made his decision on the way to take his position two hours ago. He wasn't going to let River go back to that place, and if every other option was out, he would take her life before he let her be tortured again. Then he would go back to Serenity, grab Angel, and head out to the ass end of the galaxy, far away from the hand of the Alliance. If they wanted a Tam girl, these _ke-pa xiong-meng de kuan-ren_'s were out of luck. Hell, he would head on back to Miranda if that was how far he needed to go. Surely Kaylee and the Doc could rig up an air filter.

River rounded a corner from the main road. She was breathing too fast, and looked ready to bolt. Jayne remembered her face during the strategy meeting. She was pale with dread, her eyes too wide. Her hand shook when she slid her fingers through his as he explained his plan to the crew. The planning turned interactive as the others all chimed in with suggestions and alternatives, and he had to admit, they had a better chance of succeeding because of it.

After River had gone to get Angel from her nap, Jayne confronted Simon. "You're okay with this? This me an' River thing?"

"Okay with it, no," Simon said. "Absolutely not. The words 'ick,' and 'gleh,' and 'statutory' come to mind. But she's happy, and you two do…seem to…."

Kaylee put her hand on Simon's shoulder, and finished, "You balance each other."

Jayne turned to Mal. "You, too?"

"I'm a lot of things, but I like to think a hypocrite ain't one of 'em. The 'no crew romances' rule has done gone out the window, in case you hadn't noticed. Besides, as miserable as you two were, it had to be serious. She just had to wait 'til the realization got through your thick head."

Zoë had the nerve to smirk at him. "I was about to lay into you for being an idiot, but Kaylee beat me to it."

Jayne frowned at the memory. He had to do things at his own speed, was all. Couldn't they let it go at that? Of course, he didn't mind it when River took a little initiative. Before he left to take his position on the rooftop, she took his hand, and pulled him a step toward her. She used his shoulder to balance on her toes as she reached and kissed him. It was quick, and he barely got to register anything except pressure, soft lips, and the warm, sweet smell of her skin.

"Just in case," she had said.

"Don't you worry, honey," he whispered as he followed her through Vera's scope. "We're gonna get a lot more a those."

----------&&&---------

River froze at the gate. She so did not want to do this. The two guards looked her over. The taller waved her in. She allowed herself one more moment of petrifying fear, and walked inside. She knew that Jayne was up on the roof of the next warehouse, and Zoë was behind her, but it didn't help the corrosive feeling of her stomach acid trying to digest her intestines.

A ramp led up into the warehouse where Levi waited inside. As soon as she entered, he came over, hands in his pockets. "River, I'm so sorry about all of this, but I'm glad you came."

"A paycheck is a paycheck," she accused.

He shook his head. "I don't know what more to say. I do hate this. I hate all of it. But here we are." He rested his hands on River's shoulders. "I promise I'll take care of you. It'll be just like before, and I'll keep you safe in there."

"You never kept me safe. You only helped them hurt me."

Levi let his hands slide away, and stepped back. "I…I am sorry."

A door at the back of the warehouse clanged open, and two men in business suits and blue surgical gloves walked in.

A scream died in her throat.

----------&&&----------

"They just walked in," Zoë reported over the transmitters.

Jayne peered through the large dirty windows. He didn't see the Blue Hands, but he saw River backing away from something.

"I'm goin' in," Mal added.

Jayne didn't take his gaze away from the window of the warehouse, but he knew what was to be done. Hopefully. Mal would go to the gate while he and Zoë discreetly took out the two guards so Mal could upload the virus. Then Jayne and Zoë could start picking off the other shooters on the surrounding buildings and the guards on the ground, and Mal would find the Blue Hand's ship, hack in with Kaylee's help, and send a signal to release the landlock on _Serenity_.

"Ready?" Zoë asked.

Jayne picked up a chunk of tar from the roof and lobbed it at a holding barrel. It banged against the side, and the two guards turned to look. Jayne ducked, grabbed another lump of roofing refuse, and threw it. This one clattered on the asphalt on the side of the building. One of the men left his post and headed toward the noise. The other stepped out of the gatehouse.

As soon as they were clear of the high-tech gate, Jayne and Zoë fired. Silencers attached to the barrel of the guns muffled the noise from those inside the building.

----------&&&----------

River backed away from the two men. Her constricted throat turned her wails to whimpers. Tears welled up and dripped from her lashes. Her back hit a wall, and a real scream finally pushed through.

"Her conditioned response is still intact," the tall, skeletal one observed.

"Good. All of her training has not deteriorated after so long without reinforcement," the stockier said.

River looked to Levi, but he kept his eyes to the ground. She shrunk as far into the wall as she could as the Blue Hands came nearer. The shorter one produced a pair of cuffs. She screeched and flinched away.

"R. Tam, present wrists," the skeleton ordered.

She sobbed, but knew what would happen to her if she refused. She lifted trembling hands. The cold metal clamped around her wrists and made her shudder.

Once she was bound, the taller Hand pulled a slim, black com from his breast pocket. "We have the original in custody. You are clear to retrieve the child."

"Nooo!" River jerked away from the second Hand.

Levi rushed in, hands waving. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! That wasn't what we agreed! You said once you got River back, you would let the kid alone."

"You're a fool if you truly thought we would leave without both subjects," Blue Hand One said.

The Hand that cuffed River reached into his own pocket, and pulled out a slim rod. He pointed it toward the struggling girl, and she fell to her knees weeping. Levi stepped forward and knocked the rod away from her.

"You are not touching her!" He faced the taller one. "And you better call whoever you sent to get Angel back because I'm not letting you touch her, either."

"You really shouldn't name them," the first Hand said. "You only end up getting attached."

Blue Hand Two pushed River aside, and extended the ends of the sonic rod as he pointed it at Levi.

----------&&&----------

Jayne saw River cuffed, and a moment later try to break free. She went down, and he had not idea what was happening. He wished like hell he was in there instead of on the roof picking off Alliance gunmen.

From a good two hundred feet away, through the concrete walls of the warehouse, Jayne heard a scream. He heard a lot of screams in his line of work, but this was unique. He had only heard it once before in the hospital on Ariel.

"Ta ma de! Zoë! C'n you see what's happenin'?"

"I…son of a bitch…."

"What?"

Mal came on the line, "What's goin' on? We humped?"

"The one with the ponytail, he's bleeding, but nobody hit him or anything," she said. "It's coming out of his nose, and ears, and mouth…he's down. An' he's not movin'."

Jayne left Vera and headed to the fire escape.

"What the hell are you doing?" Zoë demanded. "Get down!"

"I'm goin' in. Cover me."

A bullet passed by his shoulder. Zoë fired back and dropped the man.

"Let the Captain go in," she said.

"Jayne!" Mal's voice crackled in his ear. "You hold your position. I'm—"

"You go to that ship of their'n and get that lock released!" Jayne said, halfway down the ladder. "Nothin' we do is gonna be worth a damn if we can't leave."

"Guys?" Kaylee interjected from the ship. "We got a problem. We're bein' hailed by the Feds. What should we do?"

"_Wo men wan le_," Mal hissed. "Kaylee—"

Jayne didn't hear the rest. He hit the ground, ripped the earwig out, and stuffed it in his pocket. He didn't have time to run around to the front gate, so he jumped the fence, barbed wire and all.

----------&&&----------

River scrabbled away from the widening pool of Levi's blood. He wasn't screaming anymore. The only sound in the room was her wheezing.

It was gone. It was all gone. There was no way she was getting out of this alive. They were going to get Angel. Simon and Kaylee weren't fighters, and Inara was easily tracked by the Companion's Guild. She had no idea where Jayne was, and they killed Levi. They made him implode and scream, and she'd liked him, for all that he was part of the Academy staff. He wanted to protect Angel, and they killed him.

It wasn't right that Levi, who had done his best to intervene for her, die like that. Killed, horribly, right in front of her, and she sat there and let it happen. Who were they to decide life and death over people she cared for when she was a fighter, a killer? She was sitting there on the floor, hyperventilating, acting like a stupid little sissy girl. They made her, and, as Jayne once said, she could make them eat it°.

Almost like flipping a switch, her tears stopped. River sprang to her feet, and as the short Blue Gloved bastard looked back at her in surprise, she kicked the rod out of his hand. She ended in her fighting stance.

Both Hands turned to look at her in shock. "_Da bian hua_."

----------&&&----------

"Mother humping piss-ants!" Kaylee heard Mal cuss over the com wave. "Guess they weren't so ruttin' dumb after all. They left guards on their ship."

Kaylee frantically tapped the keys on the consol trying to hack into the little moon-hopper the Blue Hands used to get around. "Cap'n, I just can't get in from here! You gotta get past 'em!" She bit her lip and worried to herself, "I wish Simon were up here. He might know how to hack the government."

Her eyes widened. "Oh. Oh, oh, oh! _Jing tsa_!"

Kaylee spun the pilot's chair around. She rushed down the stairs, and kicked open the hatch to her and Simon's bunk. It took a little rifling through her husband's drawers and personal effects, but she finally found the wave address. "Gotcha!"

A moment later, Kaylee was back on the bridge and sending an SOS to Garcia. The suspicious man stared back across the screen at her, and frowned. "Who might you be, and how did you get this wave code?"

"I'm Kaylee, from Serenity," she explained. "You helped my husband, Simon Tam, and our crew to rescue Angel from the Academy, remember? You gave Simon a card with your number on it, incase. And now it's incase."

All business, he asked, "What can I do for ya?"

A moment later, Kaylee was patched through to the hacker Langston.

"They're in whose warehouse?" Langston asked.

"Uh, Blue Sun, but that's not what—"

"I knew it!" He slapped his hands down on the arms of his chair. "Everyone kept telling me that I was taking the governmental conspiracy a little too far, but I knew I wasn't wrong! There were too many coincidences. Too many paper trails with exec's tied up in them. I knew it just couldn't be—"

"Langston! We need in that ship!"

"_Right_. Right." He took a breath and settled his fingers on his keys. "Here we go."

----------&&&----------

Simon stared down the Fed in charge of the raiding party. "I understand that you have a warrant, officer, but I assure you, this is not the ship you are looking for."

"Firefly-class transport ship, classcode 03-K64, name _Serenity_, registered to Captain Malcolm Reynolds," the lawman recited. "That's this ship, isn't it?"

"Yes it is, but there are only two babies on this vessel. One of them is a boy, and the other isn't even born yet. So again, I think you have the wrong ship."

----------&&&----------

Inara leaned down and smiled at Dewey and Angel. "We're going to play a game, all right? We're playing hide-and-go-seek, and Angel gets to hide first."

The little girl looked up at her with solemn eyes. It was completely unnerving to think that such a little girl should understand what went on around her. Inara hoped that she was simply projecting her own nerves onto Angel, but she wasn't certain.

"I'll hide, too," Dewey said. His eyes were wide, and it was clear he had no idea what was happening. But he knew that it was something wrong, and it had something to do with Angel needing to hide.

Inara looked away, her mind leading her gaze through the hull of her shuttle to the docks. She wondered how things were going, and silently prayed for everyone's safe return. When she faced the children again, she put on a bright smile.

"Okay, you can hide, too. But this is a very special game of hide-and-go-seek. I'll know where you are, and I'll come get you when the seekers go away."

She pulled a corner of her Persian-weave carpet up and located a piece of grating that came out of the floor. The original design was for storage, but no one bothered to make it terribly obvious. She had literally stumbled across it by accident when decorating. Inara lifted the grate up, and helped the two children inside. She handed them a little flashlight then eased Dewey down into the hole first, Angel second.

"All right, now I'm going to put this grate back, but I'm leaving the rug off until they come to the door. When the rug goes down, you two need to be quiet as mice so the seekers don't find you. _Shi_?"

They nodded.

----------&&&---------

River felt a hot wind on her back. It was getting closer. Jayne was coming, and he was pissed. Before she heard the word come out of his mouth, River slid into a full straddle.

"Duck!"

Jayne pulled one of the smaller semi-automatics he'd strapped to himself and fired over River's head. Both Hands took their cue from River and dove to the side, dodging all bullets.

"_Nin gai si_," he spat.

River swung her legs around and jumped to her feet. She glanced over her shoulder. "Jayne."

"River," he greeted her in return. "Got a preference?"

With her hands still cuffed, she pointed to the stocky little Blue Hand. "Him."

"Gonna be okay without your hands free?"

"I'll be fine."

Jayne reached down to his thigh and pulled his Bowie free. "Here," he tossed it to her. "Don't die or nothin'."

"You, too." River gripped Binky's hilt and circled her opponent.

Jayne wasn't one for circling. He rushed the taller Blue Hand thinking the balding, skinny man would hardly give him a fight. Jayne reached out for the lapel of his jacket at the same time he pulled back to hit, but the Hand whirled away and spun into a kick. Jayne bent in half, the wind knocked out of him. A sharp chop came down on the back of his neck and toppled Jayne to the floor.

_Okay, didn't see that coming,_ he thought.

Jayne rolled to his back. He grabbed the foot aimed where his head used to be, and twisted. The Hand lost his balance and went sprawling, but managed to aim another kick at Jayne's face. Jayne blocked, and rolled to his knees.

----------&&&----------

Langston was clattering away on his keyboard at a pace that amazed Kaylee. She followed his directions on her side of the wave, but knew that he was doing the bulk of the work. He was just better at this stuff than she was.

"All right…a-hah! Take that, you fascist slimeballs."

"What'd'ja do?" Kaylee asked.

----------&&&----------

Dewey wrapped his arms around Angel's shoulders. It was dark in that hole even though there was light from outside and he had the flashlight. It was too much like in his room with all the smoke and hot filling in.

Aunt Inara—he called her that because Angel called her that, and no one corrected him—knelt by the grating, and slid her fingers through. It was a little comforting to know that things could come in and go out of the grates. She smiled down at them, but it wasn't her happy smile.

"You two are doing so well," she said. "This will all be over soon."

Dewey wanted his Mommy. He wanted his Daddy. He wanted Aunt Zoë.

Angel sniffled. "Want Mumma."

He squeezed her tighter. "It's okay. I'll protect you."

-----------&&&----------

The leading Fed stepped right up into Simon's face, his own in a hard scowl. "Look! I have orders, and I'm not about to let some _gao-tsau de_ kidnappers walk with a kid that never done a thing to nobody! They told me check your ship, I'm checking it, dong ma?"

Simon opened his mouth, but a shrill ring cut him off. He and the Fed turned back to look at one of the other men. He pulled a com-link out and listened for a moment. The young Fed looked guiltily at his commanding officer.

"Um, sir?"

"What is it?"

"Sir, command just radioed in. The little girl that was kidnapped was returned. Apparently it was a skiff-theft gone wrong. Squad over on the east side found them and rescued the girl. This transport's clear."

Simon fought to keep his face blank. He had no idea how Kaylee did it, but they were off the hook. The Fed looked down at him, and fleered. Simon smiled back.

"Guess you're clear."

"Apparently."

"I know you're hiding something, though."

"Nothing you have a warrant to look for. Have a nice day, officers. I'm truly glad to hear that the child was returned unharmed."

----------&&&----------

"Cap, Zoë, come on back to the ship," Kaylee said over the com.

Mal left off looking for a way around the guards, and hunched back against the corner he was pressed up against. "Little Kaylee, have you caught the space dementia? We ain't done here."

"I got us some inside help, don't worry. Just get back here so we can take off."

Mal looked at the government ship, back at the direction of the Blue Sun warehouse, ship, warehouse, ship. He threw up his hands, and hoofed it back the way he came.

"Sir, my area's clear, but you might want to head up to the other roof. Jayne left Vera when he went in to help River."

"He left Vera?" Mal asked.

"Oh!" Kaylee squealed. "It's true love!"

----------&&&----------

Langston tapped into the locking orders on the dock and found an interesting code intertwined with the encryption on the locking sequence.

"Um, Kaylee. Perhaps I'm wrong, but wouldn't that be part of a firefly's maker code?"

Kaylee looked at the portion of code he highlighted. She checked it against the stamped plating on the consol, and damned if it wasn't a match. "Yep. That's our number."

"Huh. Okay." Two seconds later, Langston cracked into the system, and a vid message popped up baring the Operative's face.

"Knowing the crew of Serenity, you will surely need this at some point. The override sequence is your serial number."

Kaylee typed in Z47 09 3156 B47. She and Langston waited with strained breath. The screen read "Landlock Lifted," and they both sighed.

"Welp, looks like my job here is done."

"Thank you so much," Kaylee said. "I never woulda been able to do this without you."

"Oh, I'm sure you could, just not as fast." He grinned. "Take care now, and thanks for the tip about Blue Sun. We'll see who the crackpots are now!"

His screen went blank. Kaylee smiled and settle back in her seat.

----------&&&----------

River traded blows with Blue Hand Two at a speed that would have confounded most fighters. Every jab was met with a block, every kick with a parry. Jayne's Bowie knife was knocked out of her hands. They each landed a few hits, but nothing that disabled either of them. She needed this over.

The Blue Hand broke away from her. He wiped blood from his split lip with a look of disgust. He glared at her. "Eta koo—"

River landed a roundhouse on his face, and was rewarded with a pop of his jawbone dislocating. "A shorter safe word would be more expedient."

A gunshot pealed and echoed. River focused passed it, intent on her opponent, but the man jerked to a shaky stop. He looked over at Jayne who got to his feet, rubbing his neck, with a Derringer in his hand. The taller Hand lay on the floor in a widening puddle of blood and thicker things, the top of his head blown off.

For a moment, River hoped that once one was dead, the other would automatically fall, but no. The shorter Hand's face contorted. He yelled through his twisted jaw, and turned to River once again. His fist backhanded her to the floor, and he followed her down, sitting on her back, his elbow around her throat. He squeezed.

River could hear Jayne's boots, but he wouldn't get to her fast enough. The Blue Hand was beyond his orders to restrain and return to maker. He was going to snap her neck. She wiggled her chin down into his arm so she could breathe, propped his arm up with her cuffed hands, and sunk her teeth into his flesh. He bellowed, and it was enough distraction for Jayne to come up behind and drive the butt of the Derringer into his head.

The Hand released his hold as he fell to the side. River rolled from under him, and spun on her back to aim a kick into his face with a satisfying crunch. Blood poured from his nostrils. River saw Jayne raise his gun, but she stopped him.

"Told you, he's mine."

"Sorry." He lowered the gun. "You go ahead an' finish. Lemme know when you're through."

Jayne went to get his knife. The Blue Hand started to get up, but River kicked him down. She drove her foot into him again and again. Head, stomach, groin, over and over. When she knew he wasn't getting up, she retrieved the sonic rod. It automatically deactivated when pressure was released from the extender button. She carried it back to the man curled on the floor, and turned it on. Just because she broke his jaw didn't mean he didn't scream as his tender blood vessels burst.

River released the button before he died. She bent at the waist, and said, "Not much fun, is it?"

She looked over her shoulder at Jayne. "Gun, please."

He handed her the Derringer. River pointed and fired three times into the Blue Hand's face. When she was done, he didn't have a head.

"Third time's the charm."

Jayne walked up to her side and looked down at the mess she made with a grim smile on his face. "Nice work."

River bent down and searched through the headless corpse's pockets until she found the keys. She handed them to Jayne and held her hands up for him to release. He unlocked her, and they smiled at each other over the click of the lock catching.

"Déjà vu," she said.

"Just like," he agreed. "All right, let's get the hell outta here."

"One more thing." She went to both bodies, pulled off their gloves to reveal pale human hands beneath. She dipped them in some of the pooling blood, and wrote on the concrete floor: **NEVER AGAIN—R. TAM.** She stuffed the used gloves in the mouth of the agent with most of his head still intact. "Now we can go."

They kept close to barrels and equipment for cover as they made their way to the gate and onto the street. Jayne dug the earwig out of his pocket and put it back in.

"Mal? You there?"

"Nice to hear from you," the Captain snapped. "Just what the hell did you think you were doin'? We had a plan."

Jayne rolled his eyes. "Yeah. Whatever. Look, we're out. I n—"

"I know. I'm up here gettin' Vera for ya."

Jayne looked up at the warehouse he was supposed to be on top of, and saw a shape up there dismantling his favorite gun. The shape stopped to wave, and Jayne frowned.

"Be careful with her."

River tugged on his arm. She whispered, "You left Vera?"

"I was distracted," he grumbled. Then, to Mal, "Where's Zoë? Don't see her."

"Her job's done.She went on back to the ship. Kaylee called in the cavalry. I'll meet you back onboard. Just let's get everyone home, shall we?"

"Fine by me," Jayne agreed. "Over an' out."

He grabbed River's hand. "It's supposed to be over, but let's take the back way just to be sure."

She nodded, and followed him through the alleys back to the docks and home.

----------&&&----------

Simon bounded up the stairs to Inara's shuttle, and knocked. Inara's voice called from inside, "Who is it?"

"It's Simon," he panted. "We're clear."

He heard shuffling around inside, and knew she was getting the kids out of hiding. He trusted her to keep them until River and Zoë got back, so he went up to the bridge to see how his wife was doing.

"Kaylee?"

"Simon?" She swiveled around in the pilot's chair. "Bao bei. How we doin'?"

"The Feds are gone," he said, and pulled her to her feet and into a tight hug. "I don't know what you did, but they left. You are a genius."

She blushed. "Wish I could claim it, but I had a lot of help." He frowned. "You see, I couldn't get into the system, and I remembered that you had that contact number for that Garcia fella, so I waved him, an' he patched me through to Langston. It was him that managed to get into all the really tricky spots. I just typed in some codes an' did what he told me to."

He smiled at her. "Either way, you're still my hero." He kissed her, but turned serious when he pulled away. "Is there any word from the ground?"

"Jayne an' River are headed back now. They didn't say if they needed doctorin'. Zoë should be here any minute. Mal went to get Vera 'cause Jayne left 'er up on a roof when he went into the warehouse to help your sister—isn't that sweet?"

"Oh, yes. All families should have a mercenary in them."

"Well, the Tam's already got a doctor, a mechanic, an' a psychic. I guess fate's just fillin' in the gaps."

"Oh, har-dee-har," he said. He rested his forehead against hers for a moment. "I'm glad everyone's okay. Now you come with me to the infirmary. I want to check to make sure the baby's okay. He or she's been under a lot of stress today. It's not good for either of you."

Kaylee nodded, and put a hand over her bump. They passed Zoë on the way down the catwalk.

"They back yet?" she asked.

"Not yet. Dewey and Angel are in with Inara."

The soldier nodded. "I'm warming her up. I'll get the kids after."

----------&&&----------

River and Jayne wove through the crowds. Luckily, there were many a stranger thing on the docks than a big man and a young woman holding hands and nearly running for a ship. They hurried aboard and headed straight up the stairs. The gentle vibrations of the engine beginning to turn made Serenity thrum before they reached the catwalk.

"I'm for the bridge," River said. "You get Angel."

He grabbed her arm before she got away, and pulled her back. He bent and kissed her. Before, River always thought of kissing like a game of tag, back and forth, give and take. But she discovered that it could occasionally be like capture the flag. When Jayne pulled back, she swayed and had to grab his arms to steady herself.

"Go on an' get us off this rock," he said. "I'll bring the little'un up to ya."

River blinked. It took her a second to reacclimate and remember what she was doing. She smiled. "Much more romantic. Well done."

He grunted, and nudged her toward the stairs. Once River was out of sight, he nodded to himself. This whole one-woman-kissing-on-the-mouth thing might be something he could get used to.

Jayne stepped up to Inara's door and banged. "Hey, it's me!"

Inara threw open the door and let him in. Before he was all the way inside, Angel rushed him. He scooped her up. She was bawling her eyes out. He shushed and rubbed her back.

Zoë ran in a second later, and Dewey threw his arms around her. He wasn't doing much better than Angel.

Inara breathed a little easier now that the children had their parents back. "They were both very brave."

Zoë looked over at Jayne. She nodded to his arm. "You're bleeding."

He looked down at the torn sleeve of his T-shirt and the blood dried in trickles from a few scratches. "Damn barbwire." Jayne kissed Angel's hair. "Come on, _ni zi_. Mum's up on the bridge, an' I know she wants to see ya."

Mal's voice boomed over Serenity's intercom. "We're closed up! Let's go!"

The ship shuddered as she lifted off her pad. The peace of the Black waited.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

_ke-pa xiong-meng de kuan-ren_—horrible, violent lunatic

_wo men wan le_—we're doomed

_da bian hua_—big change

_jing tsai_—brilliant

_Shi—_yes/affirmative/okay

_Nin gai si_—you all deserve death

_gao-tsau de_—dog-humping

_ni zi_—little girl

° Total self-pimp. Reference to the Serenity BDM missing scene I wrote, posted on under "Behind the Curtain."


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

**Warning: Contains adult situations. Not for kiddies.**

**Rated: R—It's my first time, so be gentle me.**

River flew Serenity away from Boros as fast as she dared. The last thing they needed in a hasty getaway was to get flagged for speeding in close orbit. Jayne brought Angel to the bridge, and the little girl automatically reached for her mother. River took her in one arm and piloted through the swarm of satellites around the planet with the other while Jayne hovered at the back of her chair.

Mal came up a moment later, took in the status of the escape, and told River to plot a course for Whitefall. They had a new contact there—some young buck who finally took Patience down and was more for business than the old harpy had been. Duke would let them lie low for a while, and then give the crew a bit of work for his trouble.

&&&

Night looked just like day in the Black, except for one difference—the decks were empty after the crew went to bed. River, still wired from her brush with Blue Sun, stayed on the bridge for hours after Serenity powered down. Angel slept on her shoulder as she stared into the sprinkled pitch of space, her mind drawing pictures with the stars, and calculating how many water molecules it would take to reach their closest neighbors.

River stretched her awareness out from the bridge down into the decks. Serenity was quiet, except…except for Jayne. He was awake, too. And he was headed toward her.

She took a deep breath, and waited for the sound of his boots on the stairs. He hesitated outside the doors. River rotated the chair to avoid disturbing Angel so she could look at him.

"Hello."

"Uh…hi."

"You can come in," she pointed out.

"Oh, yeah." Jayne shuffled onto the deck. This had all been easier when the adrenaline was flowing, and there was imminent danger. Now that they had time to breathe, he wasn't sure how to act around her. His mind drew a blank. He had absolutely no idea what she expected of him. Of course, he still felt the need to be near her which was why he was standing there like an idiot.

"I see Simon bandaged your arm," she said.

He looked down at his shoulder where the barbwire had gotten him. "Yeah. T'weren't but a scratch."

"Scratch needed a weave."

"I survived worse." He tried a smile. "Hell, I survived you, Miss 'I-like-to-play-with-butcher's-knives.'"

She didn't return it. "Do you think I'm a monster?"

Jayne frowned. "Whatta you mean?"

"Because of what I did," she said. River looked down at Angel's sleeping face, her hair spilling forward to curtain her face. "I didn't just kill that man. I beat him. I tortured him. And then I decapitated him with a firearm."

"Honey, if you're a monster that makes me one. I'd'a done the same thing." She looked up at him, and Jayne crouched next to the chair. He brushed the hair out of her face. "Those two, they hurt you. They made you scared for too long. You did what you did to…I don't know. This psychology stuff ain't my area of expertise. All's I know is that you had to do what you did, torture an' all, so you could know they was gone an' move on with your life."

"May be dead, but I'm not sure they'll ever be gone." She tapped the side of her head.

Jayne wished he knew the words to say to make it better. It was important that she knew that it would _get_ better. The monsters would fade over time. She would be safe, and they would fade away.

River met his eyes, and smiled a little. He hoped she heard that, and he didn't need to say anything. Her smile widened, and he was pretty sure that she had.

Jayne leaned back, and nodded to Angel. "How long's she been out?"

"Two hours and thirty-seven minutes. I should go put her down, but I couldn't let her go yet. Could have lost her today. Could have lost everything."

He stood up, and waved River to her feet. "You shut everything down for the night?"

"Yes."

"Well then, let's get the kid to bed."

She smirked at him. "You're taking your new position very seriously."

"What can I say," he shrugged with a smug twist of lips. "I'm the all-or-nothin' kind."

River shook her head. "Can you get the lights, Mr. All-or-nothing?"

"Yup." He switched the console lights off, and followed River and Angel down to the passenger dorms.

River was glad that Jayne was behind her; she didn't want him to see her pinched face. She worried her lip as she wondered what she should do. When she realized her feelings for Jayne had changed from friendship to something more considered many ways to approach the situation once Jayne finally confessed his own feelings. But now that he had, and seemed inclined to act on them, and was in fact following her to her room, River couldn't pin a single strategy down. She didn't want to send him running again.

She reached her door, and still had not come up with an idea. Would he kiss her goodnight and go on to his bunk? Should she make the first move? Did she have any moves? She was fairly sure she didn't. This was something she should have asked about long before this, obviously.Who would have believed that sanity lacked clarity of thought as much as madness?

Jayne stayed just inside the door of River's room, and watched her put Angel in bed. It was ridiculous to expect anything tonight. River was class. He couldn't expect her to get involved with someone and have sex with them in the same day. Ladies didn't do that sort of thing.

River covered Angel, making sure that Jingle Bear was within easy reach. She turned to face Jayne, her hands clasped behind her back. Thoughts whirled through her head.

"I wanted to thank you," she said. "Thank you for coming to help me today. Thank you for talking me out of going with them. They would have come to get Angel anyway, so my sacrifice would have meant nothing. Thank you for convincing me to fight."

"You would'a fought back when you heard they were taking Angel," he said to avoid the gratitude. "I only went in 'cause I was worried they'd make you scream like that Larry guy."

"Levi."

"Yeah. Sorry about him, by the way. He was your friend. Shouldn't'a died like that."

River fought off tears. "They killed him when he wouldn't let them hurt Angel. He did not deserve it."

Jayne frowned at her tears. "Did you two...? I mean, were you…?"

"No, no!" She shook her head. "Someone I cared for, but like a brother or a cousin. You're the only one I've ever felt…like…."

He watched her flush in the dim light. He smirked, and stepped closer. "Felt what? Come on, I told you mine. Still ain't heard from you."

Her cheeks pink, River met his eyes. "Like curling up in. Like pulling around me as a blanket. Safe, and warm. A bit like seeing the tiger at the zoo—you know he'll take your arm off, but it doesn't stop you from wanting to reach through the bars to run your fingers over his stripes. It's very confusing."

If he was a tiger, she was something else entirely. A fairy or an elf. Something not of the normal world. She could lead him to hell if he wasn't careful.

Funny, he thought. He used to see her as a saint, pure and untouchable. Now, touching was high on the list of things of things he planned on doing to her, with her. Gone was the Virgin Mary. In her place was the little witch he'd always suspected her to be.

"Don't worry," she whispered. "True love's kiss will break any spell a witch casts on you."

"Guess I'm doomed then," he murmured, standing before her. "Don't plan on kissin' nobody but the witch."

River giggled, "Probably best. She might turn you into a toad." She slid her arms around his neck. "Did you know that there are in fact several types of kisses?"

"Really?" He wrapped an arm around her waist, and used his other hand to knead the muscles on the small of her back. "I did not know that."

"Oh, yes. I read it on the Cortex. Thomas C. Haliburton wrote that there are no fewer than ten different kisses." She lifted to her toes, her fingers sliding into the hair at his nape.

"The kiss of welcome." River pressed her mouth to his in a quick, warm, smiling kiss, but pulled away before he could respond. "The kiss of parting," she continued, and this time met Jayne much slower. She kissed his top lip, his bottom, and rubbed his nose with hers before leaning back. River smiled at the deepening of his breaths. "The long lingering present ones….The kiss of love…" deep and wet, "of joy…" quick and hard, "and of sorrow."

Jayne held her against him with an arm under her rear so almost no weight rested on her pointed toes. His other hand rubbed up and down her side, alternately brushing the side of her breast and squeezing the round of her hip. Every time River taught him a new way to kiss, he changed the angle of his head, and backed her up a bit.

"There's the…seal of promise." She panted against his lips, and put her whole body into this kiss. She wrapped her arms tight about his neck, and pressed herself against him chest to knee. He sucked her tongue into his mouth, and ran the tip of his own over the fleshy seam under it. Jayne refused to let go of her for a long time. When finally he did, River gulped for air before concluding. "And…the…the receipt of…fulfillment."

"We ain't there yet," he growled back. Her calves hit the edge of her bed. "But we're gettin' there."

Jayne went to dive back into her kiss, but suddenly Angel made a noise in her sleep. They froze, and glanced over to the crib. They looked back at each other with the same expression of shocked embarrassment at having not remembered the crucial detail of River's daughter asleep in the same room.

"We can go across the hall," Jayne suggested.

She made a face. "Simon's old room. Don't want memories from his pillow drifting in while I'm with you."

His own face twisted at the thought. "Okay, there's my bunk—"

"Can't hear Angel from there, and I don't have a monitoring device."

Jayne gritted his teeth to keep from cursing out loud. His arms tightened, not wanting to let her go. He tried to get his breathing under control, and will away his aching hard-on. He could wait. Sure he could.

He opened his mouth to tell her they could do this later when River brightened. She tapped his arm to signal him to release her, and went to the still open door. She leaned across and opened the door to Simon's old room then came back inside. River went to one end of Angel's baby bed. She grabbed the two large back posts, and said, "Get the other end."

"Huh?"

She smiled. "Moving _her_ into Simon's old room. Grab that end and lift."

Jayne grinned his agreement. He lifted the far end of the bed, and together they carried Angel, bed and all, into the opposite dorm. The baby felt the jostling, and half woke during the transfer. River shushed her back to sleep, and they continued the transfer. When all four feet of the bed were on the floor in Simon's old room, River motioned Jayne out, and slid the door shut leaving a gap.

"So I can hear her if she cries."

Jayne stalled outside her door. "Look, we don't have to do this tonight."

"I disagree," she argued. "Contrary to what early Darwinians believed, the majority of sexual encounters in social animals are not for the purpose of procreation as less than ten percent of sperm released actually fertilizes an egg°. In most instances, sex is used to cement a relationship." She took his hand, and led him back into her room. "I want us cemented. Don't want you getting away again."

He frowned at her, and pulled his hand away. While he wanted to sex her, he wasn't fond of her reasoning. And, for once, the reason mattered more than the act. "I told you, I ain't just here for the sex. Don't want you thinkin' you gotta—"

She put her fingers to his lips, stopping him. "Let me clarify. I want this. I want you. Have for a long time." She slipped her arms around his waist, and started pulling the back of his shirt from his pants. "Don't go."

"Uh…." He felt her fingertips brush his skin. "'If'n you're sure…."

"Quite resolved. Nigh immovable." On tip-toe, she placed a kiss over his pulse.

"Alright then." Jayne slid the door shut, and backed her to the bed.

River pulled his shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor. Her eyes toured the muscles on his chest and stomach. Her hand slipped over the long, thin scar like half an X over his heart. She shivered not in anticipation, but in shame at what she'd done to him. Jayne's hand was suddenly over hers, large and warm. River met his eyes with repentance begging forgiveness in her own.

"It's done," Jayne murmured as he bent to kiss her. River sighted into his mouth, and smoothed her hands down his torso. She ran her fingers through the rough hair, and teased his nipples. He groaned, and she giggled as she sucked on his lower lip.

Jayne backed off to pull River's peasant blouse off to join his shirt. A flick of his fingers unclasped her bra, and trailed his fingers over her shoulders and down her arms as he slid it down her arms to the floor. Jayne kissed his way down her throat and over her collarbone making figure eights on her skin with his tongue. He worked his way lower, onto her chest. His whiskered chin brushed the hypersensitive tip of her breast, and elicited a moan.

"Oh…" River gasped. He took her into his mouth and suckled making her clutch his hair, and arch into him. "Oh, oh, oh, new. Don't stop."

He licked from her breast to her jaw. "Lay on down, honey."

"That's the second time you've called me that," she panted as she sat down and scooted onto her bed. "Have I been rechristened?"

"Yep," he teased back. "You're a River of honey." He caught his breath at the thought, and had to close his eyes for a second. "Well, maybe. We haven't gotten to that part yet, either."

While River, still dressed in her little black shorts, lay propped up on her elbows to watch him, Jayne rested his foot on the end of her bed to untie his boot. That one off, he moved to the other. He pulled off his socks, and stuffed them into his shoes. He looked down at River's feet, but they were already bare.

"Where're your shoes?"

"On the bridge. I took them off hours ago."

"Should'a figured."

She smirked as he crawled onto the bed, and pressed most of his body against the wall so that he wouldn't crush her or scare her. River might be willing and ready, but it was still her first time. (Shit.) He had to take extra care, he reminded himself. Go slow.

Her eyes drifted shut a second later when Jayne kissed the side of her neck. Because while the mouth-kissing was something he had to get used to again, he was completely comfortable with a woman's neck and throat. He fancied himself a connoisseur of necks, and River was a beautiful specimen.

Jayne nuzzled behind her ear, and sucked on her pulse. He followed the tendon to the indention above her collarbone then went around to the other side, pausing only to lick the hollow of her throat, and kissed his way up to her jaw. He found a sensitive spot and won a surprised gasp when he grazed his teeth over it. Jayne teased it with the tip of his tongue, and smiled when she arched into him.

"That's new, too," River whispered brokenly, gripping his bicep.

"Thought you told me you had some practice with this sorta thing when you were younger," he murmured against her right shoulder.

"Never went half as far as this," she admitted. "Always had clothes on, and Glen was not a particularly skilled explorer, either."

He didn't have to worry about living up to any expectations, then. That was good. But it meant that he was going to have to take his time and make sure he didn't hurt her or send her running. Jayne grazed his mouth against hers; just enough to feel the brush, and then departed.

"I'm goin' a bit lower now," he warned her.

She slid her hands over his arms, and nodded on a shaking breath.

Jayne started again at her pulse point because that seemed the most traditional place to start, and because he liked the feel of her lifeblood rhythmically straining against the smooth skin of her throat. He placed sloppy open-mouthed kisses down her sternum, to the valley between her breasts. His hand drifted up her side to her left breast, and circled her nub with the pad of his thumb. At the same time, Jayne licked his way around her right until he opened his mouth wide and sucked in nearly the entire mound. He had always preferred fuller breasted women, but he was beginning to understand those who said more than a mouthful was too much. Her small size actually gave him more of her to play with.

River gasped for breath she suddenly lost when Jayne's mouth closed over her. Her hands clutched at his hair as much as its length would allow as his mouth did unspeakable things. Without conscious thought, she wrapped her legs around Jayne's waist, and bowed her spine for greater contact.

Jayne groaned around her flesh when her legs snaked around him. He was pretty sure she didn't even realize she was rubbing against him, but she made it damn hard to concentrate on anything else. He moved his right hand from her chest to her hip to hold her still. He wanted to laugh when it only made her thighs tighten around him more.

She mewled in protest when he abandoned her nipple. More aggravated whimpers escaped when Jayne refused to give her other breast the same attention. Instead he darted his tongue out for quick tastes. He punctuated his licks with gentle nips at the soft, rosy skin around her peak.

"Jayne," she whimpered. "Please…."

He gave in and fitted his mouth fully around her. He rolled the bud in his teeth, and teased the tip with is tongue. Meanwhile, the hand on her waist moved around to her stomach. He massaged the taunt muscles of her belly, and skimmed his fingers over the waistband of her black shorts.

Jayne licked his way back to her throat and, remembering, he continued on up where he took advantage of her open, panting mouth to run his tongue along the inside of her upper lip. River moaned as she slipped her own tongue out to play with his. He waited until she was thoroughly distracted before he pressed down on her tummy and slid his hand beneath the elastic waist of her shorts. River faltered, her body tensing when she felt his fingers burrow through her curls. Jayne stopped, and waited until her muscles relaxed to move forward. He looked down at River's face to gauge her reaction. Her eyes still closed, she gulped, and spread her knees a little wider for him.

She felt his fingers tunnel through the mat of hair between her thighs and between her folds. He returned to kissing her, but only part of her concentration remained with their mouths while most of her focused on his swirling fingertip as it teased her clit. He rubbed in circles, and kneaded it until she broke the kiss in an aggravated whine. Jayne chuckled against her mouth. His finger slid down farther down to run along her labia then up to her clit, and back again in tormenting circles.

River whimpered his name. She cradled his head in her hands, and kissed along his jaw as he toyed with her. It felt strange and new and so good she didn't want it ever to stop even if it was torture. She reached his ear, and, mimicking what he had done to her, she rubbed her nose against the hollow behind before taking his lobe into her mouth and sucking.

It was Jayne's turn to groan. She was a fast learner, his girl. He figured now was the time to turn things up a notch. He turned his face back to hers and emulated with his mouth what his finger did. He skimmed her lips, not giving River the contact she arched and reached for until all at once, he dove in. Jayne kissed her fully, and pushed his middle finger into River's wet channel.

_Oh, god_, they thought in stereo.

_So tight,_ Jayne finished.

_So warm,_ River thought.

Jayne leaned back to look down at her. "You…you okay?"

"Uh-huh," she gasped.

"I, uh…I didn' feel nothin' break."

She licked her lips and tried to keep her body from forcing itself against his hand. "M-most girls who engage in sports or other physical activities tear their hymen before first sexual contact. Took ballet since I was four. Martial arts at fourteen. Thus, no blood."

"Oh. Well. That's good." One less thing to worry about. "Didn' hurt ya, did I?"

River smiled at him, doing that glow thing again, and circled her arms around his neck. She rubbed her nose against his. "No, you didn't."

"Good."

He ignored her protest as he removed his finger and slid his hand out of her underwear. Jayne brought his other hand down to her hip and rolled to his knees above her. He curled his fingers over the elastic waist of both her shorts and underwear, and pulled them slowly down her long legs so that he could admire the unfolding view.

River didn't understand the look of hungry appreciation she saw growing on Jayne's face. After all, he'd seen her naked before. True, only the once when she crawled out of the box, but she couldn't imagine that she looked all that different. And besides that, Jayne had seen a lot of naked women in his time. She remembered the way the whore Helen had looked with her clothes on. Even naked, River knew she didn't compare.

He was staring and he knew it. River was the shiniest thing he'd ever seen in his life. Vera was knocked down a notch yet again. River was paler and smoother than gunmetal, and smelled like sour-apple saltwater taffy. And she was all his. All his.

"Jayne?"

He blinked out of his reverie. He shook his head, and grimaced. Jayne leaned down and kissed the hollow of her hip. He licked and nibbled his way, hopscotching up her body to her mouth. One hand wrapped around the back of her neck, fingers gripped her hair to angle her head for a deeper kiss. His other hand returned to the junction of her thighs, first giving only pressure, then slid his finger back inside.

River sighed into Jayne's mouth, and hooked her knee over his hip to give him better access. His lips moved over her neck and throat and shoulders while his finger moved in and out at a steady pace. She could feel something building, like a balloon filling with more and more air. Her breath and heartbeat competed to see which could be louder, and River knew she was making noise, but she couldn't tell whether there were words or just senseless babble.

Jayne listened to her ramble with pride. Not that rambling was anything new for River, but to have reduced the genius to one or two syllables that barely qualified as words was an accomplishment. He grinned against her jaw, and pushed a second finger inside her. She jerked at the added width stretching her.

"It's okay, honey. You're okay. Just breathe."

Her breath shuddered as she waited until the first shock of intrusion faded. She nodded, and Jayne started thrusting his fingers again. River gasped and moaned, and began to rock her hips against his hand. He murmured encouragements, told her how pretty she was, how he used to be in his bunk imagining what she'd feel like inside, so tight and wet and smooth. Her nails dug into his back and shoulders. He covered her mouth with his own to muffle the increasingly loud gasps and groans. He twisted his hand around as he rubbed them against her inner walls until he found the spot that made her whole body seize. Once, twice, and she came apart with a scream he swallowed.

He'd hoped he would have a little more restraint, take a little more time with her, but frankly, he couldn't wait any longer to be inside her. While River shuddered through aftershocks, Jayne pulled his fingers from her core, and, curious, stuck them in his mouth to see if she tasted as good as she smelled. Apple flavored taffy. Oh, yeah, he was going to have to come back for more of that. Later, though. He promised he would come back later.

River watched Jayne move through eyes half shuttered as he sucked on the fingers that were inside her a moment before. She shivered from the roots of her hair down to her toes. He grinned at her, and she tried to return it, but her facial muscles had been co-opted in the process of relearning how to breathe. She watched him sit up and tussle with his belt buckle. Her throat tightened in anticipation…and maybe a little apprehension.

Jayne shucked his pants just as fast as he could. His thumbs hooked in the waist of his underwear, and faltered. He looked down at River, last-minute anxiety pinching his forehead and mouth. "We still good here?"

She swallowed passed her nerves, and nodded. Jayne took her at her word, and pulled the elastic band out, over his cock, and down his legs.

River choked on a breath. Embarrassingly, she couldn't stop staring at it. "I don't think this will work. Mathematically speaking, a vessel cannot hold more than its total volume resulting in overflow or breakage, and I…don't…."

It wasn't so much length, although there was that. It was the girth she was worried about.

Jayne pressed a kiss to her mouth. "We'll work on it." At her skeptical arch of brow, he said, "Ain't like you're stone or metal or some such. Skin's elastic-y. See?" He bent down to take her nipple between his teeth, and pulled until River moaned. "You'll stretch."

"I," she panted, "defer to experience. But it's going to be a tight fit."

He groaned. She was going to kill him, and she didn't even realize it. Jayne shook his head, and grabbed one of her pillows. He made River sit up a little to put it behind her head so that she was as comfortable as possible before he moved between her thighs. He rubbed his head through her folds to get himself as wet as possible with her juices since he didn't have a condom to add extra lubrication.

His breath was coming fast, and River could feel the trepidation flutter off him. It buffeted her with musty wings. She wrapped her arms around his neck, and ran her tongue across his cheek. "Please, Jayne."

The muscles in his back tensed, and he thrust in. Jayne felt her stiffen in his arms. He forced his hips to stop, and bit his lip until he got enough control to look down. There were tears leaking from the corners of River's squeezed eyes.

_Ta ma de_, he cursed himself.

"F-fairly a-accurate epithet," River tried to tease.

Jayne leaned on to one side so to brush the hair away from her face. "Shit, honey, I'm sorry."

"T-told you it would be a tight fit."

"Yeah. You okay?"

She took a few deep breaths before she nodded. "I'm okay."

Jayne took her lips again as he pushed in further. He went as far as he could, but she was whimpering again, and not in a happy way this time. Not even in completely, Jayne wouldn't force himself any farther for fear of hurting her worse.

"Whatta ya say we just get through this last bit quick, huh?"

River blinked away new tears mixed of pain and embarrassment. Would she never be woman enough for Jayne?

Jayne saw her tears and only guessed half the cause. Shame welled up and actually managed to check his libido. "Aw, honey, we can stop now."

She sniffed. "I'm sorry."

"Huh?"

"I'm sorry I'm not good enough."

"Who said anythin' about that? Just figured since I'm hurtin' ya, we should stop."

Jayne started to pull out, but River hugged his waist with her knees. "Don't! Don't go." Doubt and desire battled on his face. She stroked her hand over his cheek, rubbing her thumb along the ridge of his cheekbone, and traced the edge of his goatee. The fingers of her other hand threaded through his hair. "Please stay. Please finish."

Jayne tasted blood from where his teeth were sunk in his bottom lip. He gulped in a ragged breath, and ran his hand down River's thigh to her hip feeling the soft, firm swells and dips on his palm. He rolled his hips in a test thrust, and though he felt her twitch, River kept her body as relaxed as she could. He shifted his position a little to mate his mouth with hers as his lower body continued to rock. Jayne rained soft kisses on her chest, her shoulders, her throat. He traced her collar bones with his tongue, and teased the underside of River's jaw with his whiskers. Anything he could think of to give her something to focus on besides the stretching between her legs.

It never did start to feel good. But seeing the care he was taking with her gave River joy that helped to dull the pain. She felt his body's restraint and his worry for her. As his waves built, she heard his silent promise for many more times, many more opportunities to get this right. Her ears heard him say how beautiful she was, how much he wanted her, how he didn't want anyone else, just her. Only her.

"Tides coming in," she gasped.

River felt him spasm and jerk inside her, and his slick shoulders quiver as he climaxed. She buried her face next to his neck while her hands rubbed up and down his back to ease him through it. For long moments Jayne stayed immobile except for the rise and rise and fall of his lungs as he heaved in great lungfuls of air. Finally, he pulled out and collapsed next to her on the bed.

Jayne wrapped an arm around River's waist and pulled her to his chest. He put his face into her hair so he could smell her when he breathed. "It gets better," he swore. "My hand to God, it gets better."

"We'll keep practicing," she agreed.

"We'll practice a lot." Realizing that meant lots of regular, free sex, Jayne grinned. River elbowed him in the side. "Ow! Oh. Thought that a little loud huh?"

"A bit."

"Welp, better get used to it. Gonna be thinkin' a lot more stuff like that from now on. I'll try to keep the 'free' out of it, though."

"Thanks," she mocked.

Jayne kissed her crown sleepily. "So, are we cemented?"

River grinned. "Brick and mortar and brick."

He pulled her even tighter, snuggling in, and quickly drifted off. River smiled. So that part of sex mythology was true. But the high levels of endorphins, dopamine, and especially the oxytocin¹ made it hard for her to be mad at him. She nestled in further, and closed her eyes, hoping that Angel didn't wake up too early tomorrow morning.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Notes:

"There's the kiss of welcome and of parting, the long lingering loving present one; the stolen, or the mutual one; the kiss of love, of joy, and of sorrow; the seal of promise, and the receipt of fulfillment." –Thomas C. Haliburton

° I got the concept from New Scientist magazine January 2004, and don't quote that data because I totally pulled that number out of my ass.

¹ Oxytocin is the chemical released in the brain that supports long-term attachment. It is released in response to physical touch, skin to skin, and especially during sex.

_Ta ma de_—fuck me blind


	23. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

On July tenth, after fifteen hours of labor, Kaylee and Simon Tam were blessed with a beautiful baby girl. Inara insisted that she be present as nurse, and Simon was more than fine with that. He found that when it came to his own child, he could only remove himself so far. He needed another cool head in the room so that he didn't do something stupid, and to keep Kaylee going when he was about to lose his professional demeanor and freak out.

River held Angel up to the infirmary window as the crew let the giddy parents have a few minutes to bond with their daughter alone. Jayne sat on the couch behind them. He didn't understand how his two girls could grin at a time like this. New babies always made him uncomfortable. They were too little to be sure about. They died too easily. But River and Angel were happy as drunken oysters.

Zoë stood by River's side and waited to greet the newest arrival. Dewey hung back by the coffee table with his dinos. He didn't see what the fuss was, either. Mal and Inara sat on the other side of the room and just looked relieved that Kaylee and the baby made it through.

Zoë looked down at River, and the two women smiled sadly.

"It's hard watching her go through all this," Zoë said.

"Yes. I wish…."

The first mate put her arm around the young pilot's shoulders and rested her chin against River's crown. "I know. Me too."

Kaylee pried her eyes up from her daughter's newborn face, and looked out the windows of the infirmary. Inara had pulled the blinds up as soon as Kaylee was covered up. Kaylee, pale and worn, grinned at her extended family, and waved them inside.

River turned to the crew. "She says we can go in."

Mal, as father-figure for the entire crew, was the first through the door, followed closely by Inara. Zoë gave River's shoulder a last squeeze, and led Dewey inside to meet the newest crewmember. Jayne took his time getting to his feet which he thought would aggravate River, but she was stalling before she went in.

He frowned at her. "What's wrong?"

Angel put her face to the glass, but River pulled her away before she pounded on the window. "Nothing."

"Don't lie," he said. Jayne took Angel and set her on her feet. He helped her over the raised portal of the infirmary and sent her to Inara. At their looks, he held up a finger to ask them to wait a minute. Jayne turned back, and wrapped his arm around her middle. "You got your 'I'm sad but I don't wanna ruin it for everybody else' face on."

She chuckled, and hung her head. He was learning her-to well, it seemed. Made hiding harder. River twined her arms around his neck. "I'm not sad. I am…envious."

He frowned, not understanding.

River looked through the window again. "Spent every month watching her while the baby grew inside her. I wish I had that."

"What, the pukin' an' backaches?"

"They were evidence of a life growing. She got to feel flutters, and kicks, and stretches, and hiccups that made her whole belly jiggle. Even the pain of bringing forth was worth it. Look at her face. I didn't get that, and I never will. It would be nice to have something good happening inside me instead of crazy, bad things."

"Well, that's just dumb."

River rested her head over his heart. "I am quite aware of that. Does not stop me from feeling it, though."

"Naw, I mean, don't Simon have them frozen eggs or whatnot that he stole from the Academy when we got Angel out?" She pulled back to look at him. "If they could put your egg in someone else an' have it grow into a baby, why couldn't you get your own?"

Her eyes widened as he talked. Jayne caught her expression. He realized what he might have implied, and back-peddled.

"Now, whoa, whoa!" He dropped his hands from her waist, and stepped back. "Stop where you are an' back up. I didn't say now, or anytime soon…or even that it'd be me. I might not be here when your biological clock goes off. I was just sayin' that it's there, an' it's possible, so don't go readin' anything into that."

River reclaimed the step he took. "Do you have any plans to leave?"

"Not particularly, but five months is the longest I've ever been with the same woman since I was…ya know."

She slid her arms around his waist, and smiled when he gulped. "I'll amend my question. Do you have any plans to leave in the near future?"

He shook his head. "No."

River was very serious when she told him, "If you do want to leave, you can. I won't hold on if you want to go. Don't want to keep you against your will. I hope that you stay. Don't want anyone else. But it must be your choice. In the meantime," she went up on her toes and whispered in his ear, "you made me happy, so tonight I'll make you very happy."

"That so?" Jayne was a little thrown by the sudden change of direction, but he wasn't about to argue.

She licked the shell of his ear. "That's so."

River lowered down onto her heels. She gave him a last promising smile before she headed into the infirmary. Jayne needed a moment before he met the crew. He hoped he didn't get the itch to leave her any time soon. River was a constant source of enjoyment. For more than just the perks, he admitted to himself.

Jayne entered the infirmary and went to River's side. She set Angel on the edge of the bed to get a good look at her new cousin.

"So, do we have a name yet?" Mal asked.

Simon and Kaylee shared a smile, and the new father turned to the crew. "I would like to introduce you to Miss Annabelle Lee Tam."

Dewey wasn't impressed. "Does she do anything?"

"Not yet," Zoë said. "It'll be a while before she's up and playing. And then she and Angel will probably gang up on you, and force you to play tea party or house."

Mal gave the boy a sympathetic head shake. "Good luck."

"Come on, Mal," Inara teased. "You could put on your dress and bonnet and join them."

The Captain slapped his hands over Dewey's ears, and glared at her. "Don't be disrespecting me in front of the boy! He looks up to me, you know!"

While the crew laughed, Angel reached out a hand and gently stroked the baby's head.

"Soft," she cooed. She looked up at her Mum. "C'n hold her?"

"Not now," River said. "Maybe in a few days. We'll sit you on the couch with lots of pillows, and then you can hold her."

Angel nodded that this was an acceptable plan. She and Annabelle needed to get off on a good foot. They would be spending a lot of time together growing up, after all.

River shared a smile with Kaylee. Their two girls were already best friends in the making.

Angel craned her neck to look at Jayne. He saw her eyeing him, and smiled at her. "Whatta ya think?"

She beamed at him. "A brother."

Jayne blinked. "A huh?"

"Wanna brother," Angel announced. Then, cool as you please, she turned back to Annabelle.

The others looked at her then Jayne.

Jayne gaped. River laughed, but put her hand over her mouth when the baby jerked in surprise at the loud noise. She kissed her daughter's cheek and said, "We were just discussing that!"

"What!" Simon sputtered at the same time Mal said, "Hey! My three child limit, remember? No more little ones runnin' about my ship."

Angel had recently discovered a powerful weapon in getting her way, and she turned it on the Captain. She lowered her chin, stuck out her bottom lip, and looked up at him with big eyes. He crossed his arms, and shook his head. "Don't you even gimme the puppy face. This isn't a cookie I ain't lettin' you have."

"How would that even be possible?" Inara asked. "You can't…."

"Not now," River interrupted, quoting Jayne. "Not soon. But maybe someday." She leaned down and shared a smile with Angel. "We have to convince him to stay, first."

Kaylee chuckled. "All right, guys. I hate to make ya gawk and run, but I'm bushed."

"Of course, sweetie," Inara said. She went to the bed, and leaned down to kiss Kaylee's forehead. "You were marvelous, mei mei. Thank you for letting me be here. Now you rest. I'll go get the bassinette."

River set Angel on the ground and waved her over to Jayne. He took the girl's hand to lead her out, and jiggled it. "Don't go gettin' me in trouble like that."

River hugged her brother and Kaylee. She kissed Annabelle's head and breathed in the soft newborn scent. She stroked her fingers over the baby's cheeks. One day….

* * *

Jayne found more and more that he speculated on his future. Usually he lived for the moment, maybe as far as the next payday. Not so much now. Over dinner one evening, Jayne got the feeling the girls were already planning Angel and Dewey's wedding. Angry and disturbed, he warned Dewey that he better not be thinking on Angel in any girl-like way because there would have to be death. Kaylee noted that Dewey wouldn't start noticing girls for another dozen years or more, so there was nothing to worry about. Jayne said that it didn't matter. Dewey would just have to go find himself someone else because he wasn't going to let Angel date until she was twenty, maybe thirty. Of course, the Doc had to go and ask if he planned on still being around in twenty or thirty years, and he didn't have an answer for that.

December rolled around again, and with it came the second anniversary of Angel's rescue. Jayne managed to haggle an hour alone while River joined Kaylee, Zoë and the kids in a Mommy-and-Me fieldtrip dirtside on Newhall. With his hour, Jayne pondered his predicament. After about ten months together, he had yet to get itchy feet and want to end things with River. Truth be told, he didn't have the urge to change his situation at all, and hadn't for some time. _Serenity_ was the best job he ever had, and he liked the crew. He could even stand the Doc now. He still butted heads with Mal, but that was a given.

Angel was something else, he thought with amusement. She had outright claimed him as her own. It was a little unnerving since she still didn't call him by name. When she wanted him, she just toddled over and tugged on him with the purest, most trusting smile he'd ever been graced with. He loved it. He liked being her hero or her teddy bear, whichever she needed at the moment.

And River…she was a surprise. He definitely hadn't plan on her. She never asked him to do something he couldn't, be something he wasn't. But he had learned what made her smile. It was always little things he didn't realize he did until she glowed at him. He gave her a hug from behind and kissed her neck, and she looked at him like he was her Christmas and birthday present in one. All he'd wanted was to feel her pressed up against him, but her reaction made him more amenable to hugging her more often. Sometimes even when people were around. When River had her most recent episode a week before her birthday, he came in during a wakeful period and rubbed her feet. Even muddled by the drug, she smiled at him, her shine peeking out behind Pax clouds.

It was only a little more than a month earlier that Jayne truly realized the depth of what he felt after a job took a nasty turn, and he got shot. It wasn't a serious wound. It was in his right shoulder again, which seemed to be the one everyone aimed for—Niska's men, Reavers. It was a popular portion of his anatomy with folks who were trying to kill him. The Doc got done patching him up adding a warning that because of prior damage, he needed to keep his arm supported and immobile in a sling so that it healed. River's reaction was startling. She seemed calm enough at first as she helped him into his bunk. Once there, River wasted no time stripping him and divesting her own self of clothes. She sank down onto him, driving him in deep before her body was fully ready, but she rode him at a gallop and came hard. When her aftershocks died away, she clung to him and sobbed. Jayne was awed, and humbled, and gratified. He had never been so important to someone, and he loved her for it. After he laid her down to begin again, much slower this time, until little waves broke over her face as she climaxed, he told her so.

He didn't want to leave them. He had tried, and it didn't work. He loved both River and Angel more than he had loved anyone or anything since he left home. He couldn't figure out how that happened, but he figured hewas smart enough not to lose it.

* * *

Something was happening, and everyone except River was in on it. That was infinitely annoying and made her jittery. She wanted to know what was going on, but she didn't want to Look. It was a breach of trust, and she didn't want them thinking that she wasn't trustworthy. She kept all their secrets that she accidentally heard to herself, and she would not go poking around in their heads no matter how much she wanted to.

She wondered if she could push one of them into thinking so loudly that she could overhear it. (Evesdroping was not the same as peeking, she reasoned.)

Before dinner was over, River tossed down her chopsticks and rose. "You all are driving me crazy!"

She got more than one odd look as she pushed her chair in and took her plate to the sink.

Jayne asked with his mouth full, "Should I mention the fact that you're already crazy?"

"I know something is going on," she said. Jayne averted his eyes as did the other adults at the table. Angel giggled. "I seem to be the only one not in on it. It bothers me, I don't like not knowing something, but I will not invade anyone's privacy and peek. So I am going up to the bridge. Let me know when you all plan on enlightening me, _bu-ti-tie de hundáns_."

She was aware of Jayne standing up and coming after her, but she was too angry at being left out of the loop to slow down. He could just come to her and beg forgiveness and tell her what the rutting hell was going on. It was probably about her. Did she dress oddly today? Did she forget a morning hygiene ritual?

At the top of the stairs, she spun around and caught Jayne by surprise. "Do I stink?"

"What?"

"Do I stink?"

"No. Why—hey!"

She turned and stomped into the cockpit. She flopped into her seat and set about disengaging autopilot when she noticed an envelope on the console. As she picked it up, Jayne closed the door. River frowned over her shoulder at him.

"I figured I'd screw it up if'n I tried to say it myself, so I got a card," he said. "Kaylee helped me pick it out."

River warily opened the envelope and pulled out the card. The outside was a light, pastel pink background with darker flowers and pale yellow glow effects. It read: "Women wish to be loved without a why or wherefore; not because they are pretty, or good, or well-bred, or graceful, or intelligent…" she opened it, "but because they are themselves°." Underneath, in carefully formed print, Jayne had written two words and a punctuation mark. "Marry me?"

Taped at the bottom was a slim silver band with one small, round diamond.

"'Nara helped me pick out the ring, which is why she knew," Jayne told her. "Had to ask your brother an' Mal for permission, of course, so they knew. If Zoë knows, I don't know how. One'a the girls probably told her. Or Mal. Man's as bad as any of the womenfolk when it come to gossip."

He was babbling as he stood waiting for her to do something. River stood there looking at the card, or the ring, or both. It was hard to tell standing behind her. He shifted back and forth. "You gonna gimme an answer?"

Suddenly he had an arm full of crazy girl. She jumped and wrapped her legs around his waist while kissing him over and over.

"That…a…yes?" he asked between kisses.

"You thought…I'd say…no?"

He wrapped his arms under her butt and lifted her to adjust her weight. "I don't know. You're still pretty young. Guess I was worried you'd want to see the 'Verse a bit before you settled with just me."

"I've seen the 'Verse. The 'Verse is dumb. I like it here better. Or," she slid her legs down, and led Jayne to the pilot's chair. She pushed him down with the hand that didn't still have the card, and sat on his lap. She swiveled the chair to look out the glass to the Black beyond. "There. Now we can see the 'Verse together."

Jayne turned her face so he could kiss her. River turned sideways in his lap, her legs hanging over the arm of the chair, so they could take it deeper. And while he never took his mouth off hers, Jayne took the card, pulled the ring off, and unstuck the tape from the band. He slid the ring on her finger, and they broke the kiss long enough to look down at her hand.

"All yours now," she said. "Think you can handle it?"

He picked her up and sat her on the consol. He moved between her legs with a wicked grin. "Think so."

River laughed. "Yes, that part you can handle quite well." She pulled the back of his shirt from his pants, and ran her hands over his lower back. "Think we can get Kaylee and Simon to put Angel to bed tonight?"

"Why?" he teased. "We goin' somewhere?"

She nodded. "Your bunk. I plan on being loud."

"Damn good plan." He backed up, and practically dragged her out of the room. They clattered down the stairs in a mess of kisses and laughter and pounding combat boots. River untangled herself long enough to run to the doorway leading to the galley where the crew was finishing up dinner.

"Kaylee? Would you mind putting Angel to bed tonight? We're going to be otherwise occupied."

"Sure thing," Kaylee agreed. "Congratulations!"

River beamed at her family before disappearing with Jayne for the rest of the night.

* * *

River and Jayne were married two months later on Ezra so that his family could be there. River wore his mother's veil. Something old. Mal, Inara, Kaylee, and Simon chipped in for her wedding dress. Something new. Zoë lent her a silver bracelet that belonged to her mother which she wore on her wedding day. Something borrowed. Beneath the dress, River wore matching lacey lingerie. Something pale, pale blue so that it wouldn't show through the dress.

Angel was part of the ceremony—both as the flower girl, and because she started having a fit half-way through the ceremony. Jayne carried her up to the pulpit, where she stood between River and Jayne as they said their vows. The kiss was a little shorter than they would have liked, due to the little someone standing at their feet. Angel was tugging on Jayne's pant leg.

"Daddy, up!"

* * *

**_Translations:_**

_bu-ti-tie de hundáns_—inconsiderate jerks

° quote from Henri Frederic Amiel


End file.
